12. Chapter 12

The loud bang of my door barricade crashing to the floor woke me up. My dagger was in my hand and against the throat of my intruder within a moment.

"Easy, Little Viper, or I might think you're flirting with me." Cassius's eyes twinkled with amusement. I lowered my dagger with a heavy sigh.

"The barricade is there for a reason." I sat on my bed. He stood still like he might spook me if he moved.

"This is for tonight." He tossed a heap of fabric at me and watched me unravel it to reveal it was a silky emerald green dress. While it was undeniably beautiful, dresses weren"t my thing.

"No, thanks," I said, tossing it on the bed next to me.

"You need to dress the part, Thea. You can't show up in your boots and bloodied clothing. The King expects effort to be made." He peered at the dress and then me. "Besides I thought if I got your favorite color, you might not fight it as much."

"How did you know this is my favorite color?"

"Lucky guess." He sighed heavily like I was getting on his last nerve. "It matches the cloak you wear so I figured you'd like it."

"Fine, but I'm not happy about it."

"I didn't think you would be," he said, giving me a pointed look.

I averted my gaze to the stone floor of my room as he stood there not saying anything. I was worried that I would be kicked out of the tournament or killed for my display of magic earlier. Could I trust him to warn me if I were in danger?

"It's just dinner, Thea. Whatever you"re worried about, I can assure you it is not on the agenda."

How could he read me so easily? Maybe I wasn't as closed off as I thought. It was kind of nice not to always feel trapped in my mind with no one seeing my struggles.

"Will you be at dinner?" I asked.

"Yes."

"Then I will see you shortly," I said, dismissing him. He gave me a slight smirk and nod before leaving my room. A weird feeling washed over me every time he left. A part of me I didn't understand wanted to tell him I was a liar because his presence brought me comfort, but I didn't understand the feeling.

Sybil would adore the beauty of this palace I thought as the colorful sunset illuminated the room. My mind pushed away the thought of Sybil. Our odd encounter still weighed heavy on me, but I couldn"t process what it meant.

I prepared a scalding hot shower to wash away the blood and dirt from today"s trial, and Leer's words echoed through my mind. He didn't realize who I was. There was no way for me to ask him what he meant now that he was gone. I'll add his odd behavior to the list of things I didn't understand.

After struggling for minutes trying to tame my wild curls, I opted to keep them down. I wasn't good at dressing up or making myself presentable because there had never been an occasion to in Exile. The emerald dress matched my eyes almost perfectly. Surprisingly, the dress fit me well, like it was made for me. The silk was soft against my scar-riddled skin. I didn't know where most of these scars had come from. It was one of the reasons I always dressed to cover my skin. Everyone liked asking questions and I didn't have answers.

My fingers inspected the long scar over my heart. It was almost red in color and stood out amongst the others. Maybe that's why this dinner was so worrisome.

What would I say if they asked about my past? Could I say I don't remember? Or was that suspicious? I drew in a deep breath to calm my wild heartbeat. Why did going to this silly dinner feel more difficult than the trials themselves? Probably because I wanted to murder the host of the dinner. I would have to sit and listen to him talk and probably about himself. The thought made me want to skip it entirely, but I knew that wasn't an option.

"Might as well get this nightmare over with." I slipped on the heels Cassius had snuck in here and assessed myself in the mirror. My dark curls suited the neckline of the dress and helped hide my elite magic mark behind my ear. The dress did fit my form, but I felt exposed and uncomfortable. Everyone in attendance would be able to see every curve and muscle. Every scar.

I felt anything but confident in my appearance, but I exited the room anyway and headed down the darkened hallway. The guys laughing and yelling in the dining hall as I passed made me wish I could be there instead.

The sunset illuminated the hallway with stunning oranges and yellows reflected through the stained glass of the windows. It was magical with the dark red flowers growing on vines across the stone walls. I had expected weapons and armor suits to be the choice of decoration, but I was absolutely wrong. It was comforting to see such beauty in the nightmare of a castle. I stopped when I could hear the other guests talking. I glanced into the large great room and saw everyone was already there.

This room was far grander than any other part of the castle I had seen. The table was made of beautiful wood that would easily seat all the guests in attendance tonight. The room was bright with gold and silver adorning every surface. Crystals hung from a grand chandelier over the table. The walls were draped in dark red velvet. It was beautiful.

"Ah, there is our guest of honor." The King smiled and bowed his head to me.

It seemed like an odd gesture for him to do, but I ignored it. "Sorry, I'm late," I apologized, curtsying respectfully.

"A woman is never late. Everyone else is simply early. My wife taught me that soon after our courting began."

His dark eyes seemed friendly as I walked with him toward the only open seat at the table. Cassius stood and pulled my chair out before pushing it in for me. Golden plates and silverware sat in perfect position in front of me.

"Thank you." My eyes met Cassius as he took his seat next to me.

He gave me a short nod as if he didn't want to acknowledge me at all. Haden was across from me with Nev at his side. I didn't know the names of the others except Tagon who was seated at the far end. The King sat with his wife next to him. She was dressed far fancier than I was, and I realized Cassius was right. I would have felt like a troll had I shown up in my combat outfit. I would have to thank Cassius later for the dress.

My eyes shifted to the younger-looking royals sitting with us. Two boys who were much younger than me sat close to their mother. Their looks mirrored hers with red hair and bright blue eyes. They didn"t resemble the King with his dark eyes and hair. The last child was a girl. She stared at me with a big smile on her pretty face. It caught me off guard to see her staring so openly at me.

Her hair was a light brown with dark eyes matched the King"s eyes. She was likely a few years younger than me, but it was hard to tell. A confused smile spread over my face, which only made her smile bigger.

Next to her was a man older than the King, openly glaring at me. He wore a fancy outfit, but he didn't seem like he fit in with the royal family. The blue of his eyes was unforgiving as they pierced into me like I was disgusting. Like I shouldn't be sitting here. He must have noticed his staring before he ran his long fingers through his white hair and turned away from me.

"Shall we eat?" the king asked. The servants bound through the wooden door loudly making me jump as they placed plates in front of each of us. The food smelled so heavenly. The trial had exhausted me even despite having slept through most of it. Once the servants departed, we all started eating. I cut off a small section of the huge steak and nearly groaned at the flavor of it. This may be the best meal of my life.

"Good?" Cassius whispered.

"Amazing," I confirmed. He chuckled softly.

"So, Thea, you held out on us," Haden spoke, not fully masking his irritation with a fake smile as he cut his own steak. "You said you had healing magic, not fire magic."

He held my stare when I looked at him. He was trying to intimidate me with his glare, but it wouldn't work.

"Everyone has their secrets," I said simply, popping a chunk of steak in my mouth to stop the conversation.

"I'm just saying it's like we belong together. Fire and Ice." He winked at me then turned his stare to Cassius who was glaring at Haden. Nev peered at his friend with a confused look. He obviously hadn't seen him act this way before.

"What else are you hiding?" The older man I didn't know spoke to me, casting the same glare as Haden. I gaped at him confused, the steak turning into ash in my mouth. "Do you have other magic?"

"No," I denied, knowing that the other magic I held was elite magic. It was the reason I carried this mark behind my ear. Perhaps the fire magic was elite as well, but it was nothing compared to the darkness that I hid away from everyone.

"Sure," he scoffed.

"Who are you?" I asked him as I continued eating.

"I'm Lavtan, the King's advisor."

When I went to open my mouth, Cassius's hand squeezed my leg under the table in warning. I stared at him confused and he gave me a pointed look, silently telling me to shut the hell up. It irritated me, but I listened. Cassius didn't move his hand away from me for a long few moments, but no one would notice with how close the seats were.

"Thea, I was truly impressed by your abilities today. I had to admit I was surprised when Cassius said a woman was fighting in the trials. They hadn't had much luck in the past, but you are truly a sight to watch," the King said from his place at the head of the table.

I searched his eyes for mockery or malice, but found none. He was being truthful with me. It was an odd feeling to receive such high praise from the man I loathed. A man I wanted to kill.

"Yes, quite a sight. Who trained you?" Lavtan asked.

"A boy from back home."

Cassius's fingers tightened on my leg slightly before pulling away completely. I watched him but he just stared at the King, communicating with each other without uttering a single word. I wondered if that was somehow the wrong thing for me to say. A silence fell around the table, and the tension inside me continued to mount.

A few of the other contestants spoke about their families and such, but I didn't pay much attention. Cassius turned slightly away from me like he didn't want to be close to me anymore. Suddenly, I lost my appetite and just wanted to be excused but knew that was unlikely.

I pushed the food around on my plate until the plates were cleared. A small piece of white cake with a berry filling was placed in front of each of us as the silence continued. Gods, this was painful to endure. I ate my dessert solely so I could be done with this dinner.

"So, Thea, this boy from home, is he a friend or boyfriend?" the King's daughter asked, smiling at me but letting it drop when her eyes shifted to Cassius, who shook his head to stop her. Her eyes bugged out slightly before looking back at me as if I hadn't seen their whole exchange.

"Kai and Kaz are friends," I answered but gave no other details. She gave me a big, satisfied smile before continuing her dessert.

When I finished my cake everyone else was just finishing up as well. Cassius still didn't look at me and acted as if I wasn't there at all. My hands sat in my lap squeezing together in anxious nerves. My eyes glanced at the doors, wishing I could go through them now.

I must not have been hiding it very well, because the king asked, "Are we boring you?" He chuckled lightheartedly.

"No, I'm sorry. I'm just exhausted." The tightness in my chest was worsening. This wasn"t the time this heaviness crushed my ability to breathe before. My breathing was almost unbearable because of the panic coursing through my veins. I needed to get out of this room before they saw how worried I was getting.

"Of course," he sighed. "You had quite a trial. We will have dinner again soon."

He stood along with everyone else as they said their pleasantries. Cassius stood but said nothing to me but said goodnight to the others. Taking the hint, I left without a word to him. Not even the beautiful decorations in the hallway could distract me from the onslaught of negative thoughts I was having about myself. The increasingly negative thoughts racing through my head amplified with each step.

Once I was back in the safety of my room, I ripped the dress and heels off. Why did I constantly feel like I did something wrong? They all judged me, but I wasn't sure if that was real or if my own thoughts were fighting against me. Cassius was the main reason I felt like this. I had upset him somehow, and as a result, I had made everything so awkward for everyone.

These insecurities plagued me constantly, like a soft voice whispering how insignificant I was. Like I always did the wrong thing or said the wrong thing. There were times like this when I wished I could remember my past because this wasn't about Cassius. It was about being too familiar with this feeling. It was the fact that I knew someone had made me think this way about myself.

Or maybe I do mess things up and I really am the problem.

I changed into my regular clothing, slipping on my boots so I could get out of here and clear my head. I grabbed my cloak, passed through the darkness of the castle grounds, and headed towards the woods.

The moment I stepped inside the trees, all the thoughts running through my head quieted. The woods gave me peace, but it was fleeting. It didn't take long for the panic to fill my chest again. All the horrible things I believed about myself came crashing into my mind.

Tears plagued me and I let them fall as breathing became harder for me. I was dying. I had to be. My breaths were small and shallow as I fell to my knees in the clearing. Calming myself had always been difficult when I was this overwhelmed.

"Little Liar." Cassius was standing directly in front of me when I opened my eyes again. Seeming to register that something was wrong, he knelt down, lowering himself to eye level.

"You need to slow your mind down." He whispered as his hands came up to cradle my face. My short breaths worsened as I tried to tell him I couldn't, so I resorted to shaking my head.

"Do you feel me touching you?" His thumbs brushed across my jaw and lips as I nodded my head yes. "Good. Focus on my touch until you feel your breath coming back to you. Match your breathing to mine."

His hands lifted mine to his face and I opened my eyes to watch what he was doing.

"Touch me, Little Liar." His husky voice shot through the fog of my mind. My hands gripped his face like he had done to me only moments ago. The stubble on his jaw scraped my fingers as they slowly curled. Cassius's hands rested on my thighs, squeezing slightly as he watched me. His eyes fluttered closed as I traced his lips. All the doom I felt in my mind was receding. My breathing didn't feel labored from panic, but it was difficult to breathe when Cassius let my hands explore him freely.

His dark hair slipped through my fingers as I ran my hands through it. I gripped it softly, tugging as I went. Cassius's lips parted as a low hum of approval escaped him. His hands skimmed over my body, and I mimicked his touches. Cassius was all hard muscle under his clothing. My hand stopped over his heart, feeling how intensely it was beating. I continued my exploration, cupping his face again. My thumb rubbed along a small scar on the soft skin of his cheek.

"Do you feel better?"

"Y-yes," I breathed heavily. But neither of us stopped touching the other. Cassius's hands came back up to my face, tracing my bottom lip with his thumb.

My eyes focused on him before closing tightly so I could focus on how good his touch felt. His soft breathing seemed impossible to match so I focused on his touch. Cassius's hands moved from cradling my face and brushed my wild hair out of my face. His hands wandered over my face, down my shoulders, to my hands before squeezing them tightly. My thoughts slowed slightly as I focused on his hands exploring me.

"Open your eyes, Thea," Cassius demanded and I obeyed immediately. Cassius' eyes shifted between mine before he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. It caught me so off guard that my mind immediately forgot my worries and focused on why it felt so good to kiss a man I shouldn't be.

My hands gripped his wrists, and he moved his head so he could deepen the kiss. All the reasons to not kiss him left me when the faintest groan vibrated from him. Something feral snapped inside of me at the noise. I pulled him close to me, leaving no space between us. Cassius's mouth dominated mine as his hands ran over my body, tugging me roughly against him. He gave me one last hard kiss before pulling back. He stood up and backed away from me. I watched him from my kneeling position on the ground. My stomach clenched tightly with lust when I glanced at how disheveled he was.

"Now crawl to me, Little Liar." A sexy smile curled his lips. My heart hammered at his demand. "Crawl to me and tell me what a liar you are. Then maybe I'll keep touching you like you desperately want me to."

Gods above knew how true those words were. My body craved for him to come back and worship it, but I couldn't force myself to do it. He sighed angrily as he stalked towards me, his big hand tangling my dark braid around it so he could force me to look up at him. He leaned down like he would kiss me, and my traitorous body leaned up to meet his.

But he stopped an inch from my mouth and smiled wickedly.

"Look at how much you want me, my love." His nickname for me instantly shot lust through me again. "Be a good girl and tell me the truth. I want to hear this pretty mouth of yours tell me how much you want me."

I opened my mouth, but the words died on my tongue.

"Say it," he demanded. "Put us both out of this misery." The words were a soft plea.

When I didn't say anything, he tilted his head as his eyes drifted to my lips. His frustrated growl died in the quiet space as he released me, walking off without another word. I watched the edge of the forest to see if he would come back, but he didn't.

The overwhelming feeling to feel him, touch him, kiss him hit me. His kiss had obliterated me. It ripped through all the reasons I had to hate him. It tore through the little defenses I had against him. The kiss made me feel something. It made me feel wanted. Seen. Whole.

I raced through the woods and towards the castle as quickly as I could. Something deep within me craved Cassius so desperately that nothing would deter me from finding him. He called to me.

He called to my darkness.

My mind blocked out anything that would stop this from happening. There was one goal and that was to feel Cassius again. It was like his kiss had awakened something I never knew I needed. When I got to the castle I hurried to his room, and I didn't bother knocking. The door banged off the wall with how violently I opened it. Cassius was shirtless, leaning against the wall across the room with a seductive smile on his handsome face.

"What took you so long, my Little Liar?"

I closed the door behind me and locked it. I fell to my knees, and his eyes darkened at the movement.

"Clothes off," Cassius demanded. I didn't hesitate as I slipped my clothes off, leaving my small black camisole and underwear on. Then, I crawled to my enemy slowly, loving the way his chest rose and fell quicker the closer I got. His hands fisted tightly at his sides as I stopped in front of him. I knelt before him, looking him in the eyes as I told him, "I'm sorry I lied to you. You were right. I don't hate you. Please, I want you to touch me."

The shadows swarmed from him caressing my bare skin, and I shivered at the contact.

"Not good enough. Convince me, My Love."

I licked my dry lips as I reached up and ran my hands over his bare stomach, making it clench when my fingernails scraped his muscles.

"Please touch me, Cassius. I"ll do anything you want me to, but please touch me."

His eyes deepened to black as he stared at me touching his bare skin. I smiled when I peered at him.

"I'm yours. Use me how you want. Put us both out of this misery. Make me forget that I"m supposed to hate you."

My yelp echoed in the room when he grabbed my wrists, yanking me up so his mouth could devour mine. Cassius's hands ran down the length of my body, gripping the back of my thighs, lifting me effortlessly as he pushed me against the wall. His hard length rubbed so perfectly against me that I couldn't stop the noises falling from my lips. Cassius slid down the strap of my camisole and leaned down to take my nipple in his mouth. His tongue flicked over it teasingly.

"Please, Cassius," I gasped, begging for more.

He groaned as he set me on my feet and kneeled in front of me. Cassius ripped my underwear off me and tossed them to the side. He lifted my leg and threw it over his shoulder as his mouth found me. My fingers gripped his dark hair as his tongue circled and his fingers plunged into me at the same time. His tongue replaced his fingers. My hips moved across his hot tongue, chasing the orgasm I desperately wanted. Cassius ran his tongue up my needy center to my clit.

"Good girl. Take what you want from me, Thea. It's all yours," he whispered before sucking me into his mouth once again. The sight of him on his knees, giving me everything and taking nothing for himself, made pleasure rush through me. My eyes clenched tightly trying to hold out a little longer because this was the heavens and stars in the form of pleasure. His fingers plunged into me as he sucked me into his hot mouth letting his tongue flick over my clit.

"Fuck, Cassius. Please. Please." The moan that tore from my throat was violent as I rode out the orgasm against Cassius's face. My fingers gripped his hair tightly to ensure that I drew out every ounce of pleasure I could from him. He hummed his approval against my needy clit before giving me one last lazy lick and pulling back. He stood and kissed me, letting me taste my arousal on his tongue.

But when I grabbed his trousers, he swatted my wrists away and stepped back from me.

"What are you doing? I want more." I breathed heavily.

"I know you do. Which is why I'm making you wait because you thought it was okay to lie to me for so long. Consider it a punishment." Then he turned and disappeared down a hallway, leaving me standing alone in his living area.