Chapter 1 Luka

Salty mist stung Luka’s eyes as he stood on the sunbaked pier in Fort Lauderdale. The scent of diesel fuel battled the gentle ocean breeze in his nostrils. Suitcase in hand, twenty-one-year-old Luka stared at the hulking silhouette of the cruise liner. Every fiber of his being screamed against being on that godforsaken ship. The Pride Cruise, a fifteen-day voyage to the Caribbean Islands, was exclusively for gay men, whether single or in couples. But Luka wasn’t going on vacation.

Standing beside Luka was his Brazilian father Rafael, a bear of a man with salt-and-pepper hair. Out of nowhere, a noisy group of men dressed in women’s clothing carrying brightly colored suitcases shattered their silence. They lined up together, supporting each other as they boarded the ship. He had no friends on that ship.

“Look at me, son.” Rafael broke the silence between them.

Luka forced himself to meet his gaze, the defiance simmering in his belly threatening to boil over. He hadn’t seen his father since he was ten years old. The man sent his mother and him to the United States for protection from the Brazilian cartels. Instead of moving in or visiting them as promised, he faithfully sent money every month, ensuring his mother and he were taken care of. Lots of dirty cartel money.

“Think of it as an island vacation, Luka,” his voice echoed in the wind. “Sun, sea, and…dishwashing.”

The bitterness twisted in his gut. “Dishwashing? Do you think that’s the extent of it, Papai? I saw the schedule. I’ll be doing a lot more than just that. I’ll be cleaning toilets all day. Whatever they want.” He spat the words, each syllable a shard of rebellion. “I don’t know how to do any of that stuff.”

Rafael let out a weary sigh, and the lines around his dark eyes grew even more pronounced. “It’s your only choice. Those cops were ready to throw you away like that jackass boyfriend of yours. I barely pried you from their clutches.”

Luka clenched his fists at the memory of the cold steel handcuffs biting his wrists raw. He’d been an idiot, driving Maleko to that damn Palmetto Bay home, blinded by love and misplaced loyalty. Maleko, now rotting in a cell for a robbery gone wrong, and Luka…sentenced to scrubbing toilets on a cruise ship.

“And the price? Never seeing Maleko again?” The questions tumbled out, raw and desperate. Maleko, with his beautiful long Samoan dark hair and crooked smile, was the only man who’d ever loved him. The man who protected him until he couldn’t.

Rafael’s jaw tightened. “It’s the only way, Luka. He’s going away for a long time. Clean yourself up, start over. No contact, no distractions, just hard work and the sea. Think of it as…cleansing your soul.”

“Cleansing? With mop water?” He felt completely powerless.

“Someday, you’ll understand what I’ve done for you.”

Luka winced. The weight of his actions by agreeing to help Maleko left him owing his father for the chance to salvage the wreckage of his life. He wondered what kind of deal he’d made with the court.

But the thought of Maleko, stuck in that concrete purgatory, choked Luka. “What about Maleko?” Why couldn’t he help Maleko? He said he tried, and he couldn’t. It was out of his hands. Or was that a lie?

His father frowned as he spoke. “He’s paying his debt, Luka. You can’t both drown in the same tide.” He paused, a tremor running through the rough hand that rested on Luka’s shoulder. “Promise me, boy. No letters, no calls. No contact with him.”

Coated with his father’s love, the demand hung heavy, weighing on his heart.Luka knew it was the only way, the only path back to some semblance of normalcy. The ache of separation slicing through his heart threatened to tear him apart.

“I promise, Papai.” Then Luka pleaded, “But…can I just…keep one picture?”

Rafael hesitated, then nodded, a flicker of understanding in his eyes. “One,” he said in a gruff voice. “But you bury it deep, Luka. This ocean’s big enough to drown anything eventually, including his memory.” He pulled out a picture of Maleko he had found in Luka’s suitcase and returned it to him.

“This means a lot to me.” Luka’s voice was steady. “I’ll do what they tell me, but I won’t be their cabin boy.”

“This isn’t about pride, Luka. It’s about keeping you safe. You think that prison is going to be kind to Maleko?”

Luka’s throat tightened. Maleko. My Maleko, trapped in a cage for a mistake we made. Luka had been at the wheel, but it was Maleko’s desperation that fueled the robbery, Maleko’s whispered pleas to save his mother from the loan sharks. And he’d believed him. Maleko would have done the same for his mother if it were turned around.

“He would want me with him no matter where he was,” Luka choked out, the words scraping his dry throat.

Rafael’s expression softened, a flicker of the man Luka used to know, the man who taught him to read and sing sea shanties. “He wants you alive, Luka. He wants you to live a life he can’t.”

Silence settled between them, thick and suffocating. The salty wind whispered impossible choices and broken dreams. Luka’s resolve crumbled, the anger giving way to a hollow ache.

“Will I ever see him again?” Luka rasped, his voice barely a whisper.

“One year, Luka. One year on that ship, then you come home and can visit him in prison. No contact before then. You understand?”

Luka swallowed the lump in his throat, the taste of salt and regret. “Yeah, but he’s in Florida, not California,” he mumbled, the words a surrender. “One year.”

“It’s not a prison, son. It’s a chance. A chance to learn, to grow, to earn your way back to yourself.”

“That’s easy for you to say. You know nothing about me or Maleko. All you know are the dates I cashed your checks.”

“I know something you don’t know about Maleko.” His voice turned dead serious, as did his expression. That identical look years ago when he told Luka he had to move away from Brazil. He’d never forget that day. The endless tears changed nothing then, nor would they today. Nothing has changed.

“What is that?” Luka held his breath for the onslaught of terror.

“Maleko’s mother is dead and has been for five years. That dirty bastard lied to you. He was a bad influence. Even your mother hated him, and she loves the world. Learn from your past mistakes and refuse to allow anyone to turn you into a blind fool again. Trust no one, son.”

Ashamed, Luka broke eye contact with his father and faced the vastness of the ocean, the skyline blurred by tears of betrayal and foolishness. He didn’t know if he could survive a year away from Maleko, a year away from himself. But his lover had betrayed him. Maleko was a big part of the reason he was here. Looking back on their relationship, he truly was Maleko’s fool, as his father had said.

With a deep breath, Luka straightened his shoulders, a new resolve hardening his voice. “I won’t ever be a fool for anyone. But promise me when my year is up, you’ll be here to bring me home to California and have a proper relationship with me. I miss us.”

The ghost of a smile touched Rafael’s lips. “I miss us too. This ship is a chance to steer yourself towards something else. Something better.”

Luka looked at the ship, its polished exterior a stark contrast to the storm raging within him. “I promise I’ll make you proud again, Papai.” Luka’s throat dried up in the heat.

“I know you will. You’re a Batista!”

“Thanks for the confidence in me.”

“Stay safe, my son.” After all the years of separation, his father finally hugged him. If only he could have been there for him while he was growing up, he might have made better choices than he had.

Luka glanced at the small picture, pressed it against his heart, then stuffed it into his suitcase with mixed emotions, somewhere between love and hate for Maleko. The cruise might be a paradise for others, but for him, it was exile, a prison of hard labor paved with the broken pieces of his past. And yet, somewhere beneath the despair, a flicker of hope ignited. He would survive this. He would learn to scrub floors or toilets. He would earn back his father’s trust, prove himself worthy of redemption.

Confetti rained down like a ticker-tape parade, landing in their hair as others passed dragging suitcases. Luka watched the festive chaos, feeling a knot in his stomach. Everyone else wore smiles of wide-eyed anticipation, but Luka felt a leaden weight in his chest, anchoring him to the cold concrete.

As the ship’s whistle shrieked, announcing the last call to board, Luka felt a tentative hope and moved towards an uncertain future without Maleko. He squared his shoulders, feeling the calloused wood of the handrail beneath his palm.

With each step onto the cruise ship, Luka’s heart grew heavier, a whirlwind of emotions swirling within him. Turning one last time to see his father standing in the same spot, watching him, the weight of guilt and sadness burdened his soul. Resigned, he boarded on his journey as a crewmember to serve Captain Westly John Clark.