Chapter 13

Rhokar

I can't stop staring at her.

She's relaxed in the passenger seat of my pickup, smiling faintly and chatting as I drive her home in the barely-there light of the recently set sun. I'm doing my best to respond to her, but I can't stop thinking about her kiss.

It was so gentle, so innocent. Why did it make me want to pin her against the ancient tree behind us, rip off her clothes, and claim her as mine and be damned if there was anyone there to see it?

I want her body, her skin on mine, her heat around me. I want to claim her flesh over and over again, until the memory of all other men leaves her forever and the only name on her lips is mine.

But what's more—is that I want more. More than just her body.

I'm possessive. I'm bossy. I'm petty. I want her without giving her an inch of freedom to pursue others, to think about others, ever again. I feel too intensely, too quickly, and I'm afraid it's going to lead me to trouble. But apparently, I'm also a fool. Because here I am, ready to do it anyway, to give her everything, after nothing more than the barest of kisses.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

I grunt and send a glance her way as I drive. "You don't want to know."

I hadn't meant for it to be suggestive, but the flicker of surprise and then heat that fills her eyes has my fingers clenching against the wheel, and my own thoughts immediately follow down that same path.

"Well, well…" She leans towards me, her smile languid, "now you have to tell me."

I press my lips together. "Ella…"

She chuckles, the sound light and flirty, and rests her hand on my knee. "I promise you won't scare me away." Her fingers shift, palm tracing just a touch higher up my thigh, and my body thrums with sudden tension as my heart rate increases. "We're both adults, it's—"

She cuts off as I suddenly veer off course, turning us at a ninety-degree angle as I take a road to get us away from the busier street, before practically slamming the car into a stop by an unlit section of footpath near a small park.

She doesn't understand what she's flirting with, just like when we first met. If she wants me, she's going to get more than one night. And she had better understand that, sooner rather than later.

I turn to look at her in the low light as I shut off the car and unclip my seatbelt, but I have no trouble seeing her features, and she doesn't seem startled at the turn of events. Just like that first night, when I'd taken her down an alleyway and asked her to bare her throat to me, she's staring at me with curiosity, and without a hint of unease.

She just waits to see what I plan to do next, unafraid. As if she trusts me.

"Nice spot," she says as her eyes dart around the darkness, her lips still lifted in a smile. "Very romantic."

I pull the lever beside my seat and shove it back as far as it will go, giving myself more leg room. "Come here."

She unbuckles her seatbelt, but doesn't make a further move, and I reach an arm out to palm the back of her neck, pulling her closer until I can rest my forehead against hers. "Please."

I don't know what I'm doing, what I'm planning, I just know I need her closer. When she releases the belt from her fingers and slinks across the car into my lap like we're both eighteen again, I lean back.

She settles against my lap, one knee on either side of mine, and I grab her hips between my fingers.

"Hi," she whispers.

"Ella," I say again, and my hands slide up to her small waist, squeezing as if with a mind of their own. "You need to understand something about me."

"And what's that?" she murmurs playfully, her fingers fluttering to rest against my neck.

"If you want me, you're going to have to take all of me." Her brows lift and her knees tighten against me at those words. Again, that sounded a lot more suggestive than I'd meant it to, but when I open my mouth to clarify, the faint, sweet scent of her arousal blooms between us.

"I can do that."

I groan helplessly, closing my eyes and shaking my head. " All of me, beautiful." I open my eyes again and try to focus, even as I feel my shaft beginning to lengthen in response to her. "My body, my mind, my heart. I won't take you any other way, do you understand? I'm not an orc who can do casual, it turns out. I don't want one night with you, one week, one fling. That isn't good enough."

She doesn't say anything, her face unreadable as she gazes down at me.

"Give yourself to me." Her body once more reacts to my words, her hips moving, knees spreading. "Take all of me." I can't help but shift my own hips in response to her, tilting towards her as if I would spear myself into her heat right here. "Or end this now, because I won't play games. No secrets, no holding back. Bind yourself to me, or don't. I won't take anything in between."

A part of me, the small, logical part, shouts from the back of my mind that I'm doing it again, I'm going for too much, too deep, too fast. But I don't want to pretend, to play at being casual, or act like I want less, just for the sake of the game. I'm not built for that shit.

At least this way, if she doesn't want me like that, I'll know from the start and we can end it before it begins, before she wakes up tomorrow or in five years, and decides to leave me.

"Rhokar," her voice is quiet as she speaks, her brows are furrowed. She lifts her hand and rests her fingers against my jaw. "Is that what this is about? Why you didn't want to kiss me after dinner the other night?"

"Oh, I wanted to kiss you," I growl, sliding my hands down her thighs as I remember that moment, when I'd been so close

to taking her against the side of my truck. "I wanted to do much more than just kiss you, Ella."

"But you thought that's all I wanted from you?"

That, and a million other excuses I'd given myself, but beneath it all, yes. That . I didn't want to have her, only to lose her again.

But I can't quite bring myself to say it out loud.

She seems to understand though, to read my expression and hear my unspoken words, because she lifts her fingers to trace against my hairline and smiles. "What if I told you I'm willing to try for more?"

I suck in a breath and pull her closer. "Why did you leave."

I don't phrase it as a question. I don't elaborate. I don't even mean to say it, but when the vulnerable words slip unbidden from my lips, my meaning hangs clear between us, both of us knowing exactly what I'm talking about. We've stubbornly avoided the topic of our first night together for so long now, I might think it never even happened. But it's clear that neither of us has forgotten about it, and her expression falls as she drops her forehead to mine with a slow exhale.

"I was afraid," she whispers, barely audible in the quiet, warm cocoon of my truck. I push her gently back again so I can look at her, and she bites her lip and darts her gaze away. "That night we met two years ago, I…I felt something with you, something I'd been avoiding ever since—well, since my ex-husband left me. I refused all relationships, all romance, for so long that I didn't know what to do with myself, what to make of it. I was afraid. I didn't want to be hurt again, and you can't be hurt if you don't get close, so I didn't—god, Rho, I…"

She leans further back, pressing her fingers just beneath her eyes as she looks to the ceiling, as if trying to avoid tears.

I swallow, my heart thumping against my chest as her words rush over me, because I know exactly what means. Haven't I been doing the exact same thing?

"This is not the sexy fun I was anticipating when you told me to sit in your lap." Her voice wavers with emotion as she lets out a self-deprecating chuckle, fans her face briefly, and then finally meets my gaze once more. "I'm sorry I left without a word that morning. I've regretted that moment ever since. I just—I felt…"

"What?" I ask, because I need one more piece of this puzzle on the board. "What did you feel that night we met? Tell me."

"Something…more," she says, her hands coming to settle against my shoulders. "I don't know how to describe it. I trusted you immediately, wanted you immediately . I was so drawn to you, it was crazy powerful and I've never felt anything like it. Not before, and not since. But it was more than just physical, you know?"

Oh, I know…

"It was like I knew you, some part of me knew

you. There was a pull on my heart, like it was desperate to get to you. And it terrified me. I—"

I don't mean to interrupt her, but of its own accord my palm snaps up to the base of her neck and pulls her forward to crush her lips to mine. Her words are lighting a fire in my soul, ripping down the protective walls I've spent so many years building. She wanted me. She recognized me, it wasn't one sided. It might be real. It might be fated.

Maybe I'm not crazy for feeling this pull.

She makes a startled noise as I press my lips to hers, and her fingers grip against my shirt when I forcefully angle her head so that I can slip my tongue between her lips. Without hesitation she responds to me, and then we're kissing , all heat and passion and desperate desire as our tongues lash in a tangled dance.

She's so soft, so pliant and warm and eager for my touch, her sweet scent strengthening, her heat pressing into me, and I'm helpless against my body's reaction to her. I'm fully hard beneath her within seconds, and I need her closer, closer.

My muscles tighten with tension, and without letting our lips part I yank at my seat's lever and shove the backrest down, tipping myself horizontal to allow more room for her hips to slide over mine.

She moans lightly as she falls forward against my chest and I roll my hips up against hers, an answering growl reverberating through me, before I grip the hair at the base of her neck and yank her lips away.

"Fuck," I groan. "I'm too old to be doing this in a car."

"You started it!" she says with a husky laugh, grinding against my length and sending sparks through my entire body. I tighten my fingers even more, tipping her neck back further. But just as it registers that I might be gripping too hard, she bites her lip and lets out a breathy little mewl, and I feel my cock twitch at the sound, as if it's trying to find its way inside her all on its own. She likes it. She isn't afraid of my strength.

"Ella…" I mutter, but she isn't listening.

"I don't care," she says desperately, tugging my shirt up and trying to get her fingers around my belt. "I don't care, I need you. "

I push up then, sitting suddenly and tipping her back against the steering wheel.

"I care," I growl as I lean my face into her neck and trail the back of my fingers down her stomach. Smoked honey engulfs my senses, and I close my eyes and let it course through me. "When I finally fuck you again, sweet thing, I'm going to do it properly."

She gasps as my knuckles brush down over her clit through her pants, and my head spins with her scent, with the desire to see her and feel her again.

"I will lay you down, strip you bare, and taste every inch of your skin. You'll come on my lips before you come on this cock, and I won't compromise. Not for anything."

I scrape my tusk across her throat before leaning back, and her blue eyes are wide as she stares at me.

"So you'll be a good girl and crawl back to your seat, and wait until I get you into bed, alright?"

"Jesus, Rho…" she gasps, fisting her little fingers into my shirt and trying to pull me closer, but I don't let her.

" Alright ?"

"O-okay," she manages to stutter, even as her scent thickens, sending my senses into overdrive. "You sure are bossy…"

"I'm not just bossy," I growl as my hand finds its way back up to gently rest against her neck. "I am the boss. "

"Yes, sir," she whispers, and although a smile forms on her lips as if she might be teasing me, my cock still jumps at those words and I groan, pushing my hips into her.

"Say that again," I practically snap at her. "Call me sir."

"Sir…" Her neck tilts back, her smile stretching and her eyes languid as she stares at me through heavy lids, and my fingers tighten against her skin.

"Good…" But at this moment I wonder who really is in charge, because I would do just about anything for her.

Now, and possibly forever.