Chapter 16

16

Connor

Dungeon Monitor duty wasn't any different as a sub, other than getting much more enthusiastic greetings from the other submissives. He felt as if he'd been on one side of the wall, and now he was on the other. Or maybe as though the wall had been knocked down completely. It wasn't as if any of the dominants were treating him any differently.

It made him feel as if he was going a little crazy. No one was reacting the way he'd thought they would. He was the only one who thought it was a big deal that he'd lied to people. Even if it hadn't been an intentional lie. Even if it hadn't really affected anyone but himself.

And yes, when he thought about how he'd feel if someone he knew discovered they were submissive when they thought they were a dominant or vice versa, and it wouldn't matter to him, somehow it felt like it should matter to everyone else. Maybe he needed therapy.

Maybe having a psychologist for a girlfriend would count?

If Julie was his girlfriend. They hadn't exactly discussed titles yet, but she did want him to meet her family, so…

Though that was extenuating circumstances.

Traveling around the club, pausing to observe scenes as he went, Connor's brain was whirling with thoughts. One of the nice things about being a monitor at Stronghold was that people knew the rules and mostly followed them. At most, he needed to keep an eye on some of the newbies, make sure they were paying attention to how tight restraints were, and keep an eye on submissives who didn't want to say their safeword… that kind of thing. There were very few instances of actual emergencies or abusers here—Patrick ran a tight ship—and while some assholes managed to sneak in every now and then, they didn't last long.

Which meant it gave him plenty of time to think. Observe. Especially when it came to watching the male submissives scening. He and Mistress Julie were still exploring what his limits were, and he honestly didn't know. Some things he thought he might not like, but then he'd think about her, and he'd figure that he could maybe put up with it if it made her happy. Thinking about crawling on the floor didn't do much for him, and he could definitely go without having someone kick his balls… but he wasn't sure he'd want to tell her no if she wanted to try something.

Shit.

He might be one of the submissives who didn't want to say their safeword and disappoint their dominant.

Connor blew out a breath as he moved away from watching Frank getting his balls spanked—with a full-blown erection throughout. Not for him. But could I say no if Mistress Julie wanted it? He wasn't sure.

The sound of a sob—not an impassioned sob, not a pleasure-pain sob, but actually full-on tearful crying—had him turning with a frown. A busty blonde wearing nothing but her underwear was sobbing, strapped to one of the St. Andrew's crosses, and a tall, dark-haired man was by her side, hurriedly trying to get her out of the leather cuffs holding her to the wooden X. Red streaks marred her pale skin across her thighs, buttocks, and upper back—the kind of raised welts that came from a whipping. The cuffs were quick release, but Zach was fumbling in his haste.

"What happened," Connor demanded to know as soon as he stepped up next to Zach, both of them crouching down to get to her ankles.

"It's not his fault, Connor," Amy said, though she was still crying harder than he'd ever seen her cry before. As soon as she was free, Connor straightened up and held out his arms for her to fall into. She did, burying his face against his Dungeon Monitor vest.

Beside them, Zach frowned and looked like he wanted to say something, but instead, he clenched his jaw, keeping his mouth shut. There were bags under the other man's eyes and a bit of a five o'clock shadow on his jawline, which wasn't like Zach, but he'd been a lot less put together ever since he and his boyfriend had broken up. Connor had heard they were working on getting back together or that things were on the mend or something, but Kincaid was nowhere to be seen right now.

"She…" Zach sighed, scrubbing his hand through his dark hair, making it stand up on end. Somehow, he didn't notice. Which was also very unlike Zach. Though now Connor wasn't sure if the other man's state was caused by his ex or by Amy's slowly quieting sobs.

"I asked him to make me cry," Amy said, sniffling. Her voice was a little muffled since her face was still buried against him, but he could make out what she said. Zach looked at him guiltily.

Ah. Well. Amy was a masochist. Zach was a sadist. The two of them had been scening off and on fairly regularly over the past year… or was it two years? Damn, time flew. Amy had a vanilla fiancé who didn't mind her doing platonic scenes at the club, and Zach had been scening with her pretty regularly. The fact that they were both partnered up had made it seem like a good fit for platonic scenes, though sometimes, Connor thought maybe there was more to it than either of them was willing to admit.

Still, they always kept it within bounds, never scening in any of the private rooms. Which was why he knew he'd never seen Amy cry like this before.

"Let's go over to the aftercare corner," he said, scooping her up in his arms, leaving Zach to clean up his equipment and follow after them. Feeling her soft curves trembling against him, he had to sit on the protective feelings that were threatening to run rampant. Amy was one of the sweetest, kindest, most giving people he'd ever met, and he hated to see her upset.

Considering how often she and Zach had scened together, Zach should know her limits. She shouldn't have been crying like that, even if she'd asked him to make her cry. That was way more than tears over physical pain. He didn't think Zach would have done anything to deliberately hurt her, but he also knew it was his duty to make sure. He wouldn't be leaving Amy's side until he was completely convinced she was alright and that he could leave her in Zach's care.

"He really didn't do anything I didn't ask him to," Amy said, sniffling, as though she could read Connor's mind.

"I know." He did believe that. But one thing he'd learned about being a Dom was that sometimes what the submissive wanted and what the submissive needed were two different things. And some submissives were too willing to go past what was actually good for them. He sat down on the couch, cradling her on his lap and reaching over with one hand to grab a blanket from the top of the stack. Zach was already on his way over, so Connor figured he could take care of the water and snack. "Why did you want to cry?"

She sniffled again, her voice turning watery. "It's so dumb."

"I bet it's not."

"It is, though." Sorrow threaded through her voice. "I saw this stupid challenge online… you're supposed to ask your partner to peel an orange for you. And then see how they react. Jeremy didn't want to do it for me, and I started to get upset, but when I explained it to him… I mean, he's right. I was trying to trap him into a certain kind of reaction without telling him my expectations, and that wasn't fair to him. It was a trick. It was really shitty of me, yet even though I know I messed up, I'm still upset he didn't peel the orange for me, which makes me feel even worse."

"Why didn't he just peel the orange?" Connor's brain was having trouble getting past that one simple fact. If Julie asked him to peel an orange for her, he would, and he didn't think it had anything to do with being submissive. Hell, if Amy asked him to peel an orange for her, he would.

"Because I can do it myself. Which I can. But you know, it's just… it's stupid. It's a stupid test that's supposed to tell you if your partner cares enough about you to do something for you that you can easily do yourself, but he's right. It's a trick and a trap, and he didn't know what I was trying to do. I was being dishonest. I was setting him up to fail." The words poured out of her, leaving her breathing hard. Zach had caught up to them by then, a bottle of water in one hand and a chocolate bar in the other.

"You did not," Zach said grimly as he opened the bottle and handed it to her, making it clear that he'd had a conversation with Amy before the scene about why she was asking for a hard one. "You made a perfectly reasonable request, and he was a jerk, then he made you feel bad because he knew he looked bad."

Amy sniffled, keeping her gaze averted from both Connor and Zach.

"I was testing him, though. We're getting married. I shouldn't be testing him. It's childish."

"Maybe he shouldn't be failing the tests," Zach muttered. Taking the bottle from her, he held out the chocolate, which she took—still not looking at him.

Privately, Connor agreed, but he wasn't sure it was his place to say anything.

"Anyway, I was feeling… well, bad, so I texted Zach to see if he could be here tonight because I needed some release." Amy spoke loudly, as if she could drown out Zach's words, even though they were already out there. "I'm grateful he was available." Even if he does need to keep his opinions to himself.

The words hung unspoken in the air.

"I'm glad I could be here for you." Since your dipshit fiancé wouldn't be.

Maybe Connor was just imagining things or projecting. Maybe they weren't really thinking those things. But even if they weren't, he was starting to feel uncomfortably like he'd stepped into a couple's fight, even though Zach and Amy weren't a real couple.

He cleared his throat.

"Right, well… you're okay?" he asked Amy.

"Other than being embarrassed that you felt like you had to step in, yes." She lifted her gaze to his, giving him a sheepish smile. Connor smiled back at her reassuringly, rubbing his hand over her blanket-covered back. It didn't hurt that the blanket was very soft, so rubbing her back meant he got to rub the soft blanket, too.

"Any time," he told her seriously. "We're both just here to make sure you're okay."

Her smile shifted, just the slightest bit, going from sheepish to something else. Something a little sad, despite the curve of her lips.

"I'm fine. I learned my lesson about testing Jeremy. He doesn't respond well to it. But he loves me. He proposed. We're getting married. That's the only test he should need to pass." As she spoke, her tone picked up strength, and even though she wasn't looking at Zach, it felt as if that's where her words were really directed. Once again, Connor felt as though he'd stepped into the middle of someone else's fight.

Zach didn't respond, just pressed his lips together like he really wanted to say something, but was holding back. Unsure of what to do—whether leaving the two of them alone would really be a good idea—Connor glanced around as a distraction while he tried to think.

It only took a moment for his gaze to be arrested as Mistress Julie was watching him from near the row of spanking benches. She smiled at him when their gazes met, and he felt his heart jump in his chest. She was dressed for an evening at Stronghold in a black PVC corset, black PVC skirt, and boots that laced up to her thighs. Her hair was pulled back in a high ponytail that swished to the side when she tilted her head at him and winked.

"Hey, Connor, I'm good," Amy said gently, patting his chest where his heart had just done its little bounce. "If you want to go see Mistress Julie." She grinned at him, a much more sincere smile again now. She was happy for him.

"I still have…" He turned his head, looking for the clock. "Five more minutes of being Dungeon Monitor."

Damn. Mistress Julie had overheard Will asking him to cover. Had she appeared because she knew his shift would be almost over?

I hope so.

Connor had never considered himself a particularly jealous person, but he didn't like the idea that she'd come here for anyone but him. Of course, she came here for you, dumbass. You're together. Or dating. But she's not dating anyone else.

"Then go monitor the Dungeon for five more minutes. I'll be okay." Amy grinned cheekily at him. "Zach's got me."

Zach huffed. His expression was like granite when Connor looked at him, but he nodded confirmation.

Truthfully, his duty to Amy was done. He'd checked in on the situation, she was okay, and she was perfectly comfortable being left to Zach's care. Even if they were going to argue about what kind of treatment she should be getting from her fiancé. As much as Connor wanted to tell her she deserved better than how Jeremy was acting, she'd probably take it better coming from someone who was closer to her.

Probably. Though she and Zach seemed like they were butting heads over it.

Sighing because there wasn't anything he could do about it, Connor lifted her up and passed her over to Zach. The other man cradled her in his arms much the same way Connor had been before turning and sitting down on the other side of the couch.

As he got up, Connor grabbed the bottle of water and the chocolate and brought it over, placing it on the side table next to the couch arm.

"Thank you, Connor," Zach said, giving him a nod.

"Thank you, Connor," Amy echoed. Despite the bickering, she was now snuggled up against Zach's chest, looking perfectly comfortable. More than comfortable, she looked like she had fully relaxed now that she was on his lap, which she hadn't done while she was on Connor's.

Probably just because they were closer than her and Connor. After all the scening together. And Connor was probably just reading into things that Zach seemed as if he was holding her in a possessive manner.

"Have a good rest of the night," he said, making himself turn around and walk away. They didn't need his help. They hadn't asked for his help. He'd done what he was supposed to do. Just because something felt unfinished didn't mean he needed to finish it.

If Mistress Julie hadn't been waiting for him, it would have been much more difficult, but thankfully, she was. As he walked toward her, a smile lit up her face that nearly made him forget about the not-couple behind him.

"Hello, handsome," she purred as he stepped up in front of her, tilting her head back. Her hands came up to rest against his chest, one of them immediately sliding up to reach for the back of his neck, pulling his head down to meet her lips. Connor went eagerly, his hands fluttering for a moment by his sides before he moved them to her hips.

She hadn't told him to, but then, they hadn't discussed protocol.

And she didn't seem to mind as she gave him a very thorough kiss in greeting.

That or he was going to be punished for putting his hands on her without permission.

Her tongue slid against his, making his cock stand at immediate attention. A sharp scream cut through the air, reminding him of where they were and what he was supposed to be doing. Immediately, he jerked his head up, turning in the direction of the cry.