13. Celina

THIRTEEN

CELINA

My eyelids were heavy as I forced them open. I felt around me, making sure I was in bed. My head was throbbing so painfully, I could barely move it. I'd had more to drink the night before than I'd anticipated. A few drinks to relax had turned into three or four empty wine bottles. Now, lying in bed, I remembered everything with a sober mind. Everything. I put my hands on my face and moaned from pure mortification.

Felicity had come over at my request. After dinner at Miles's place, things had felt like they'd shifted. I'd seen it in his eyes. In my entire life, I'd never had a man look at me with such primal hunger. I could almost read his thoughts, and if I was correct, those thoughts were pretty steamy. So, I'd called Felicity to my house because I wanted her assistance. I wasn't sure how much longer I had before things went another step further.

"Okay, so…" Felicity said, "…you're a virgin. Whatever. Everyone was at one point or another, right?" she said, taking a drink of wine. "How do you like to get off?"

"Get off?" I asked.

Felicity frowned and furrowed her brow. "Yeah. Get off. You know, blow your load? Climax? Orgasm?"

I'd gone red and nodded. "Oh! Right, sure. Um…" I chewed my lip and glanced toward my bedroom. "I have a dildo. And a couple other toys, but…uh, the dildo is what I like best."

"Well, there you go," Felicity said. "At least you know what it's like to have something inside you. Is that all you do to masturbate?"

I struggled to meet her eyes. "Yeah. Um…when you say come…I know what that means, but I'm not sure if—" I managed to pull my eyes up to hers. "Well, I'm not a hundred percent sure I've actually ever?—"

"Sweet baby Jesus, are you kidding me? You've never actually had an orgasm?" Felicity had looked beyond shocked. She looked confused, too, and I thought I needed to explain.

"Well, I do it. Like, I put it inside me and…er…ride it? I guess, that's what you call it. It feels really good." I rolled my eyes and smiled shyly. "Like, really really good. Except, there's never a final, I don't know, explosion? I think I've been super close, but no orgasm."

"Oh my God, you poor thing. This man is gonna break you. In a good way, though," she had added quickly. "Toys are great, but nothing can compare to feeling a dude thrusting away inside you. That look on their face when they get close? Oh, girl." She sighed, a nostalgic smile on her face. "And the thought that it's you and your body that's having that effect on him? Shew, it's almost enough to get me excited just thinking about it."

She had told me about all the ways a man could touch a woman, and how I could touch and stimulate myself. I drank glass after glass of wine to lower my inhibitions and make the conversation less awkward and embarrassing. I was a little ashamed of my lack of knowledge. I wrote pretty raunchy novels, but I had no experience. It was the same as a guy writing a book about medieval warfare. He had no experience, but he still wrote about it. This was a little weirder, though. At least I wrote stuff that most people had experienced in life.

By the end of the evening, I'd been pretty sloshed, but I had a lot more ammunition to use when and if I ever found myself naked with Miles. Which was looking more and more likely as each day went by. And then Felicity left, and Miles stopped by. Oh lord. The things I'd said. Had I really told him Felicity had been teaching me how to seduce him ?

I rolled over, buried my face in the pillow, and screamed. Ugh, how could I be so lame? But the way he'd reacted? That hadn't been lame at all. I could almost still feel the hardness between his legs pressing into me. I even recalled how, buoyed by the alcohol, I thrust my hips against his. That was something I wouldn't have believed I was capable of a few days ago—with or without alcohol. Before he'd left, he'd slid his tongue across my lip, and I'd almost had my first ever orgasm right then—full melt down into a writhing, spasming puddle on the floor. It was probably the closest I'd ever gotten in my life to orgasming. Sighing, I rolled out of bed to get my day started.

My brain urged me to write what I had in my mental outline, but as I sat in my living room, all that seemed to appear on my page was line after line of smut. Cocks, boobs, doggy style, missionary, tongues, and deep-throating. It seemed to be all I could think about. At one point, I had to erase an entire page because, for some reason, I'd decided to write a steamy sex scene between my main characters when they were supposed to be three states apart at the time. I guess I could have made it a fantasy scene, but it was…unusually dirty, even for one of these books.

I grunted in frustration and slammed my laptop closed. A glance at my watch told me I'd been sitting there writing sex scenes for over two hours. My panties were wet, and I had no idea how to get any further in my story.

"What the hell am I going to do?" I whispered.

Almost as though the universe heard my question and wanted to answer it with the most terrible thing it could think of, a knock came at my door, making me jump. I spun and looked at it with wide eyes and a rapidly increasing heart rate. After the second knock, I had to force myself to walk to the door. A quick glance through the peephole showed me my worst fears were confirmed. Miles was standing there. I clapped a hand to my mouth to stifle the squeal of panic threatening to explode out of my mouth.

Maybe he'd think I was out. Then I remembered the newspaper out front. I'd gotten a one-month subscription, so I could stay up-to-date on the world. I had yet to get it. It was still sitting right there, by his feet, a sure sign I hadn't left my apartment all day. Shit.

Reluctantly, I composed myself and unlocked the door, opening it before he could knock a third time. I smiled at him, hoping I didn't look like the same woman who'd admitted she was being coached on how to get into his pants.

"Hey, Miles," I said, trying not to sound breathless.

He smirked at me, and my knees went weak. "Get dressed. You're spending the day with me."

I blinked several times. "I'm sorry? Can…can you repeat that?"

"I said you're coming with me for the day. Be ready in thirty minutes. Bring a warm jacket."

Without another word, he went back into his apartment. I stared after him, my mouth hanging open. Maybe I could pretend he never came over and asked me out. But the idea of spending more time with him made my heart hammer in my chest. Making a final decision, I slammed my door and ran for my room. I yanked off my lounge clothes and got dressed. I had no idea what we would be doing, but he'd said to bring a coat, so I dressed warmly and slipped my feet into a pair of comfy tennis shoes. To my horror, I realized I hadn't showered yet. But there was no time for that because he knocked on my door again.

Almost thirty minutes exactly. "At least he's punctual," I groaned to myself.

Foregoing any type of shower, I went to the door and opened it again. He looked me up and down and raised an eyebrow. "You ready?"

"Yup."

"Are you sure about that?"

I frowned at him, not sure what he meant. He pointed behind me at the hook by my fridge. "Coat?" he asked.

I looked back and saw my warm coat hanging on the hook. I cursed the thing for making me look like an idiot as I snatched it off the hook. "Huh, thanks. Where are we going?"

Miles walked me to the stairs. As we went down, he looked at me with a knowing smile. "Getting a little fresh air, is all."

I didn't know what that meant. It was about as vague as you could get. I didn't argue. My gut told me I was safe with him. Miles wasn't the kind of guy who would take advantage of me. If he was, he would have jumped my bones last night when I was drunk and would have agreed to anything he had in mind. I'd never felt so safe with anyone before, so I decided to trust my gut.

He helped me get into his truck, and then we drove off. We drove for over an hour. During the drive, Miles asked me questions about my childhood and how I got into writing. I tried to pepper in some questions about his past, but he was a little closed off about that.

We were deep in the mountains when he looked at me and nodded toward the wilderness scene we were driving through. "I'm kind of an outdoorsy person. I love being in nature. It's…I don't know, revitalizing. Do you feel the same way?"

I shrugged. "I grew up in California, in the city. I spent my childhood in foster homes. Those places usually didn't have parents with a lot of money for vacations. I never got to venture out and see more than the concrete and asphalt. One home was about a mile from the beach. I snuck down there once or twice, but got in trouble, so I stopped. Books were my way of seeing the world. Open one up, and I could be anywhere. A galaxy a billion light years away, the court of a Renaissance queen, a mountaintop in a post-apocalyptic world? It was all there in the pages."

"Well, I'm about to change that. Books are amazing—and necessary—but sometimes you really have to get out and see the world. I'm taking you to my absolute favorite place in the whole world." He gave me a sidelong glance and grinned. "I hope you've got the stamina to go as long as I can."

My mind jumped to the dirtiest thing his words alluded to. I pictured myself turning into a shivering post-orgasmic puddle. Naked on a bed. Miles, with sweat pouring from his body, thrusting into me, bringing me to yet another orgasm. My cheeks went red. Even my ears felt like they were on fire.

Miles must have seen the bright color on my face because he chuckled. "Hmmm, looks like you aren't as innocent as I thought."

I didn't think my cheeks could get any hotter, but they did. I tried to stare out the window and enjoy the drive, but that mental image kept creeping back into my mind. I kept my hands clenched between my knees, doing my best to not let my imagination get even more intricate.

Excitement swelled inside me as I saw a state park sign. We were going to one of the parks in the area. I felt stupid for having moved all this way and just staying in my apartment and going to the store. There was so much beauty here, and I'd been missing out. There was a bit of snow up here. It was the first time I'd ever actually seen it in real life. It was so beautiful it took my breath away.

Miles pulled up to a ranger shack and paid the parking fee. We drove up another road that opened into the most gorgeous view I'd ever seen in my life. I had to remind myself to breathe at one point. It was, quite literally, breathtaking. In the distance, a waterfall crashed down from between two ridges. Below, in a vast valley, a river roiled away from where the water crashed down onto the rocks. Miles pulled off into a parking area not too far from the guard shack.

"Like it?" he asked.

I blinked and shook my head, unable to find words. "It's like some wintery paradise," I finally managed.

The snow wasn't deep or thick anywhere, more like a very fine white highlight that had been sprinkled on everything. It made the world seem deeper and more intense. I could only imagine how it would look in the summer. The trees that were bare now would be thick, verdant, and lush. I would have to come back to Lilly Valley next year to see it.

"I like to come here to relax. It's the perfect spot to let go and unwind. I've come here for years to run…er…hike…when life gets rough. Some stuff happened recently, and I usually come here to take a breather. I wanted to share it with you."

"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked. He looked a little blue.

"Yeah, I'm good. Ready for a workout?"

Without another word, he hopped out of the truck.

I opened my own door and joined him.

Miles took my hand and led me to a trailhead a dozen yards from the parking area. A carved wooden sign read: Falls Trail .

"It's a bit of a hike, but I think you're up for it," Miles said as he turned and started up the trail.

The trail wasn't very rustic. It was mostly made up of stairs that had been made by placing logs down and packing dirt between each one. The effect was much the same as actual wooden steps, but probably more nature-friendly and less obtrusive. Sweat started to trickle down my back, and my breathing became labored. We continued, higher and higher.

"How much further?" I panted, though I tried my hardest not to sound like I was dying. Though I felt like I really might have been.

"I've counted these steps. There're four-hundred-and-six steps. We're in the high two hundred right now. Over halfway there..."

"Oh…that's so great." I put a hand to my side, massaging at the stitch that had sprung up when he told me how many steps there were.

A little while later, we got to the top, and I realized the hike really had been worth it. It was extraordinary. A cool breeze blew up from the river below, and everything was quiet and peaceful. Miles led me off to the side where we could watch the waterfall better. Several people came up the same trail to get pictures of and with the scenery. I could have stayed there all day, but my legs were like Jell-O from the hike.

Miles kept me close, wrapping an arm around me. It was both the most comforting thing and sexiest thing I'd ever experienced. Until he touched me, I hadn't realized how starved I was for human contact. It was the most relaxed and at ease I'd ever felt in my life.

When I looked up to thank Miles for bringing me along, I found he was already staring at me. The air between us crackled like live electricity. It seemed like if either of us touched the other, there might be a crack of sparks or an explosion of lightning. Butterflies swarmed in my stomach.

The electricity ramped up even higher when Miles whispered, "Can I kiss you?"

I nodded, unable to form words. He leaned forward, and I followed suit. The moment our lips touched, I lost all sense of time. It was sweet, gentle, and lingering. His tongue was only barely sliding against my lips. I moaned softly as he brushed a strand of hair from my face while we kissed. When he finally pulled away, I was just as breathless as I had been when I saw the mountains.

He pressed his forehead to mine and ran a hand down my back. "Are you hungry?"

I nodded. The mention of food caused my stomach to growl. Miles smiled as if he could hear it, took my hand and led me back down the four hundred steps. I'd hoped the way down would be easier than going up. I was wrong. Going down meant I had to slowly lower myself on each and every step to keep from falling. My thighs were on fire.

"I'm gonna kill you if I can't walk tomorrow," I said when we reached the halfway point.

Miles chuckled. "Don't worry. I'll massage your legs tonight, if you want."

I glared at his back, but before I could come up with a funny retort, he surprised me. Miles turned and swept me into his arms, carrying me like a groom would carry his bride over the threshold.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, clinging to him for dear life. "You're gonna drop me."

"Never."

"Well, you'll break your back. We still have to go the rest of the way down."

He laughed. "I'm stronger than I look."

He really seemed to be. He carried me effortlessly, like I only weighed twenty pounds. The muscles of his shoulders and back flexed as he walked. It didn't seem to strain him to carry me, and he wasn't even breathing hard. I wanted to hate him for it, but it was the hottest thing in the world.

Miles only set me on my feet when we reached the truck. He opened my door and nodded toward the road. "We'll take that road. It goes down to a little picnic area."

"We're having a picnic?"

He grinned at me. "What do you think I did for the thirty minutes you were getting ready? I hope you aren't a picky eater, though."