35. April

THIRTY-FIVE

APRIL

He was alive. Kellan was alive. That was all that mattered to me. It had been three days since Steff and the others rescued me, and Kellan was still alive. The doctors let us know that things had been touch and go the first few hours. They hadn't been confident enough to give us any promises. He'd lost so much blood that he'd flatlined three times in the ER.

He was stable now after three transfusions, and it looked like he might pull through. Even three days later, he continued to slip in and out of consciousness. The third time he came around, Aiden had been there. Mom and Dad and I had basically been living at the hospital. When Kellan saw his son, even in his drugged and broken state, his eyes filled with tears. Aiden slipped his hand into his father's palm, and Kellan took a deep breath and fell back asleep without ever uttering a word. But a contented smile stayed on his lips as he slept. His boy was safe. That was all that seemed to matter to him.

The story that the cops and the media were running with was that Ryland had been a stalker. He'd killed Heathrow Burns and maimed Luca as some twisted way of trying to get me to love him. Miles got the shifter file out of the safe, but had left behind a ton of other stuff he'd found. The cops had gone back in and retrieved that. There'd been tons of evidence linking him to the two crimes, including videos of the murder and Luca's torture.

It was reported that he'd tried to kidnap me, and Kellan had been shot attempting to protect me. The media painted Ryland as a monster. Too bad they'd never know how much of a monster he really was. Larry did multiple interviews, informing the world that the distressing events of the past several weeks had pushed me to enter into early retirement. He let everyone know that I was going to live a quiet life surrounded by family and friends and to please give me time to recover and heal. We all hoped it was believable. So far it looked like everyone bought the whole story. It helped that Ryland actually had done 99 percent of the things he'd been accused of.

On the fourth day Kellan was in the hospital, I woke up to Dad shaking me awake. I'd fallen asleep in the little recliner they had in Kellan's room. He gave me a worried look. I must have looked exhausted.

"Baby, you need to go home and rest. Really rest. Get a good night's sleep in your own bed."

I brushed the idea off, but he insisted. He went so far as to use his dad-voice, which somehow still seemed to work on me even though I was an adult. Once my mother came in and got involved, I finally agreed. Steff was there when I made it home, and I collapsed into his arms. He'd given me the space to be with Kellan and helped watch Aiden while the rest of the family took shifts at the hospital. He'd done a great job, and I wasn't sure I could ever thank him enough.

Even when I got home and climbed into bed, it took a while to drift off. Every time I closed my eyes, my brain was flooded with nightmares of all the awful things that had happened. Heathrow Burns' dead body, Luca's severed tongue, the bloodied body of my brother. Every night I woke up in cold sweats. When the dreams came, Steff was always there, wrapping me in a comforting embrace and ensuring me that everything would be all right.

The seventh day Kellan was in the hospital, he woke up and stayed fully awake. Kris called to tell me Kellan was asking for me, and I'd practically dragged Steff to the truck for him to take me. We made it to the hospital in record time. Kris was out in the hall when we walked up.

"He asked to speak to you guys alone once you got here," Kris said. "I'm going to go to the hospital cafeteria to grab a bite."

Steff took my hand as we walked in. Kellan looked drawn and almost emaciated. He'd been fed through a feeding tube the whole time, and I could tell he'd lost weight over the last week. When he saw us, he smiled.

"Hey. I guess I'm alive," he said.

"I guess you are," I agreed, taking a seat beside his bed. "How do you feel?"

He shrugged. "As good as you can when you've taken a bullet to the chest and survived." Kellan glanced at Steff. "I was the one who got shot, but you look worse than me, buddy."

I twisted around to see what Kellan was talking about, and he was right. Steff looked terrible. Like he hadn't slept or eaten in days, and it looked like he'd aged five years overnight. Shame washed over me. I'd been so tied up with Kellan's recovery that I hadn't noticed how bad Steff had looked.

Steff didn't answer. He simply nodded and took the other chair in the room. Kellan stared at his hands for a few seconds once we were settled, clearly trying to find a way to voice whatever was going on in his mind.

Finally, he looked at me and said, "I owe you both an explanation."

"No," I said, "you don't. We understand. You were doing what you had to do to protect Aiden."

He shook his head and looked from me, to Steff, and back again. "It started long before that."

"Huh?" Steff said, leaning forward, "Before the kidnapping?"

"Yeah. He came to me months ago. He knew I used to be friends with Steff. He came to me at the bar a few days after the party we held for you, April. He told me what Steff was."

Steff's eyes were as wide and surprised as mine were. I held my hands up. "Wait, what? You knew that long ago?"

Kellan looked over to Steff, his face looking distraught. "I'm sorry. I should have let you know. I thought he was some psycho. Who would believe something like that? Said you and your friends were dangerous. I threatened to throw him out and call the cops, so he left. I thought that was it.

"Then, I think it was the night you went out with Ryland." He held up a finger. "If I'd known that was who you were going out with, I'd have put my brotherly foot down. Anyway, after that night, he approached me again and told me Steff was going to hurt my sister. That he was dangerous, and she wasn't safe. I, for sure, blew him off then. I knew, even if the crazy magic stuff was true, there was not a single universe where Steff would physically hurt you, April. I was more concerned with him emotionally hurting you."

The story didn't make any sense. The fact that Kellan had kept the secret so long hurt my heart. It hurt that he'd kept it from us, but I understood why he did.

Kellan looked at Steff. "I know we'd sort of fallen out. Even then, no one could make me believe you'd hurt her. You wouldn't hurt anyone."

Steff smiled at him and let out a shaky breath. "Thanks for that. It means a lot for you to say. Seriously."

"But a few days later, at the pizza arcade, Steff confided in me what he was. When you said that, I thought I was going to shit myself. Ryland had been right about what you were. I tried to stay calm and go with it."

Steff laughed ruefully. "Bro, you're a great actor. I never would have believed you knew. I guess you did take the news pretty easily, though."

"Well, I knew that two dudes who didn't know each other couldn't somehow come up with the exact same crazy-ass story. It was like a light clicked on and there was no way I couldn't believe it. I had the feeling that Ryland wasn't totally right"—he tapped his temple—"up here. I was going to figure out a way to tell you about him, but the thing on the Fourth happened. Then a few days later, he called and told me I needed to talk April into leaving Steff and moving back home. I told him to fuck right off. He said I'd made a mistake, that things would get bad for me."

Kellan took a breath, and I could see he was struggling to keep his tears at bay. He rested back against his pillow, exhausted from the story as well as his wounds. He looked at the ceiling for several minutes before finding the strength to speak again.

Not bothering to sit back up, Kellan went on. "He took Aiden the very next day. I thought he was going to kill him. That's why I didn't say anything. As fucked up as I was when he was gone, there was a desperate part of my mind that was doing everything it could to keep the secret. I thought that the only way there was a chance of saving my boy was to make sure no one knew I knew about Ryland.

"When we got Aiden back, Ryland contacted me again. He told me all the things he would do to my boy if I didn't do what he wanted. So… I agreed. I told him I'd tried to pull you two apart, but I lied. I didn't do that. I'd give him updates, but they were all bullshit. I hoped things would somehow figure themselves out before he found out I was lying. Then came the box. Things weren't moving fast enough for him, so he wanted to give you a gift." Kellan's eyes flicked over to me, and I saw my brother's eyes still held fear. "He showed me the video. Forced me to watch it. What he did to that Luca guy. It was horrible, and he said he'd do the same to my family. He…" Kellan took a wavering breath. "He said he'd have Chelsea raped in front of Kris, and then kill them both… slowly. He told me he'd make sure I watched while they killed Aiden. I couldn't say no."

I leaned forward and took Kellan's hand, squeezing his fingers. "It's okay. I understand. You were stuck and had no way out. There's nothing to apologize for."

"But—"

"There's no ‘but,' Kellan," Steff said.

"He's right. You're already forgiven. Family is family."

Kellan pulled me toward the bed for a hug, and we cried together for several minutes before we got ourselves under control. Before we could say more, a nurse came in to check Kellan's readings and give him some pain meds. We left, waving to Kellan as we did.

At home, Steff gave me a kiss before moving toward the stairs. "I'm going to take a shower."

I watched him limp away. It was like every step hurt. By the time he got to the top of the stairs, he had to stop to catch his breath. It was like he was dying. Long after he disappeared down the hall, I stood there staring after him. Something was very wrong and he was hiding it from me.

I walked up the stairs and stood outside the bedroom until I heard the shower turn on. Steff would evade my questions unless I cornered him, and I knew the best way to do that. I went into the bedroom and stripped off all my clothes and padded into the bathroom. Steff was standing under the spray, head hanging low, water pouring off his open mouth and nose. He looked beyond exhausted.

I opened the door, slipped in, and closed it behind me. Steff turned and blinked when he saw me. "What are you doing?"

I pressed his back against the wall. "What's going on with you? You look sick."

Steff shook his head. "Nothing. Don't worry about it."

"Look, I know the last few months have been pretty chaotic, but your health has gone downhill really fast."

"I've got it under control." He turned his head away from me.

I grabbed his chin and lifted his face to me and saw his bear eyes staring back at me. It became clear, then. After everything that happened, I'd totally forgotten about the curse. I'd been so concerned with whether or not Kellan would survive, it completely slipped my mind. Steff didn't just look like shit. He was dying.

"It's the spell, right?" I asked.

Steff nodded sadly. "It's getting too hard to hold the bear off. He's fighting for dominance, trying to take over to claim you. That's what happened that morning when I pinned you down. I can't hold him back much longer. I'm sorry. I should have told you sooner."

I pulled myself into him, laying my head on his chest and letting the water wash over us. "You should have told me."

"You were watching your brother fight for his life. There were more important things to worry about than to ask you if you'd thought about being claimed yet. If you'd made a decision."

"You should have. I made my decision. You only had to ask."

Before he could say anything, I kissed him. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. A low rumble made his chest tremble, and I grinned as I pulled away.

I pressed my forehead to his. "I appreciate that you're always looking out for me. But I want what you want." I kissed his chest, "I'm ready." My hand drifted down his stomach, and I wrapped my fingers around him as he quickly began to stiffen. "Claim me. I want to spend my life with you, and I want you to claim me. Now."