23. April

TWENTY-THREE

APRIL

The reports about my scandal had begun to fade away in typical Hollywood fashion. There was always a new dirty scandal. Once the news of it erupted, the old scandal was forgotten. My face hadn't been splashed all over a newspaper or magazine in a week, and it had been longer than that since I'd seen the scandal being talked about on any of the entertainment channels.

It hadn't been quite three months since Luca turned my life into a disaster, and though I missed my penthouse and the jets and cars, I wasn't ready to jump back into the public eye yet. I knew that as soon as I reappeared, the stories would pick back up. It wouldn't be as intense and would fade fairly quickly. Still, it didn't seem worth it. At least not yet. Larry called me on Sunday to try to cajole me to come back.

"April, it's time. The media has moved on. That billionaire's daughter's sex tape just leaked, and they're all over that. Plus, there's word that a certain power couple in the music industry may have an open marriage. There's all kinds of stuff juicier than whatever Luca can leak. I think it's safe for you to come back to LA."

"Larry, I'm not ready. No matter what happens, I'm staying in Lilly Valley until August."

"August?" Larry sounded like he was choking. "Why? I thought you'd be itching to get back to work. I can have jobs lined up in no time."

I sighed and flopped onto the couch. "I'm not hard up for money, Larry. You know that. If I wanted to, I could retire right now and live comfortably for the rest of my days."

"Whoa. Hang on a minute. I don't like the sound of that. You can't be talking about retirement. You've got a decade at least until that should start to be an option."

"Larry, I'm not getting younger, and this is a young woman's game. Even before I went into hiding, the jobs I was getting weren't exactly premiere. I can't even remember the last time I was asked to do a big-time runway show. The last commercial I did was for a makeup brand that, as you well know, is marketed toward soccer moms. I may still look twenty-five, but I'm in my thirties. I've been modeling since I was eighteen. Most models end up turning to acting or music at this stage of their careers. I can't act for shit. I tried a couple of times, remember? And the best I could do was cameos as hot girl number two . And if anyone heard me sing, they'd stab themselves in the ears."

"But, April, this isn't something to decide on the spur of the moment." I could hear the desperation in Larry's voice.

"I haven't decided anything, Larry. I'm only saying I've given it some thought. Being back home, where it's quiet, has given me some time to analyze my life. Maybe retirement is the best option. Go out on top, you know?"

"Okay, hang on. I'm… ugh, I'm going to give you some time to think about this. In the meantime, let me see what kind of interest there is out there. If I find something big, will you reconsider? Maybe a huge new marketing push? Get you back out there front and center."

I gazed up at the ceiling and decided not to crush all his hopes. "Okay. I'll talk to you later. Maybe at the end of this week. You can tell me what you've been able to find."

"Now we're talking. That's my girl. All right, I won't let you down. Stay safe. Talk to you soon."

"Goodbye, Larry."

I hung up the phone and sat, thinking. I'd never actually verbalized the idea of retirement, but it had been bouncing around in my head for a couple of weeks now. Being able to see my nephew whenever I wanted, hanging out with my brothers almost every day, getting back with Steff? It was all so… normal. Normal and amazing. I'd lived a life millions of people would kill for. Having all those eyes on you, traveling and seeing everything I could imagine seeing was fantastic. With that in mind, I still kept asking myself if it was as amazing as what I had here.

Before I could even think about it, I was calling my mother. Sometimes you simply needed to talk to your mom.

"April? What's wrong?"

I laughed. "Nothing's wrong, Mom. I only called to talk."

"Oh." She sounded relieved. "Well, I'm always up for a talk. What's going on with you? How's it going back home?"

"It's great. I love being back here. In fact, I could use some advice."

"Wow, I can't wait to hear this. What can I help with?"

I took a breath, trying to steady myself for this talk. It seemed like the idea took on more substance every time I spoke it. "What would you say if I told you I was thinking of retiring?"

There was such a long pause that I thought the line had gone dead, but then she said, "Well, the first thing I would think was that I was jealous of my daughter for retiring before she even got to thirty-five. The next thing I would think is that if you think you're done with that part of your life, then I support you. Your dad and I both. We only want what's best for you. Whatever makes you happy makes us happy."

It was like she'd lifted a boulder off my shoulders. Hearing someone, anyone, say that I could do what made me happy was a great change of pace. It was one of the things I'd noticed since being back here. Everyone was of the opinion that I could and should do what made me happy. My brothers, Steff, now my mom? They all wanted me to do what made me happy. In my other life, I was always doing what everyone else wanted me to do. I went where Larry said I needed to go; I wore whatever the designers wanted me to wear; I said what my publicist wanted me to say. It wasn't freedom. All that money and celebrity, and it was like I was a slave to everyone but myself.

"Speaking of making you happy," Mom added, "I've been getting some calls and texts from my friends in town. Lilly Valley, I mean. They've been telling me that a pretty lady has been seen around town with a very handsome man. A man she was seen with back in high school, and she looks really happy."

"Oh, geez, Mom. Nice. How long did you plan on holding that in?"

"I've had it written on a notepad for a few days and waited for you to call."

I laughed. "Well, we've sort of rekindled the romance we had back in school. We've talked and patched up everything. It's… Mom, it's really nice. I missed him, but I didn't truly understand how much until I was back with him."

"Oh, sweetie, I'm so happy!" she exclaimed, and it sounded like she was close to tears. "I never told you this, but I always had a feeling you two would find your way back to each other. You were perfect together. Baby, I'm glad the two of you found your way back to each other." She chuckled. "Your father, however, will probably give Steff loads of hell the next time he sees him."

"Steff and I have already talked about that." I laughed. "We've talked about coming down to visit you guys this fall."

"Nothing would make us happier."

"Thanks for talking, Mom. It helped. I think I've got a lot of things to think about."

"April, no matter what you decide, I am so proud of you. Don't ever forget that. I love you."

"Love you too, Mom, thanks. Talk to you later, bye."

I stared out the window after ending the call. Steff was in the backyard playing fetch with Bently. I still hadn't told him I've been thinking about retiring. He'd talked about being my fated mate, and I still wasn't sure what that meant or how strong that bond was. He'd told me he was willing to travel to be together. For me, the thought of being away from him was unpleasant. How much of that was love and how much was the curse? Who knew? I wasn't really bothered about finding out. It didn't matter to me.

The curse was why I'd felt so compelled to come home. It was the reason Steff and I had reunited. Other than that, my feelings for him were 100 percent my own. No spell could make my feelings for him stronger than they already were. There was no doubt in my mind that if he hadn't had to leave me fifteen years ago, we would be married right now. We had been on that trajectory. Even if the spell had been designed to make us fall in love, it was too late. We'd already been there. Now the only thing remaining was the final step of the curse.

When I'd been at Harley's place, I'd waited until Chelsea had gone to the bathroom before asking her how it felt to be turned. To become a shifter.

"I was scared, I can admit that. It's crazy, but in the end, I'm still me, and Tate is still Tate. We just share a special secret. The connection to my dragon? It's sort of like walking around with your best friend. The link is so strong, I can't really even describe it. It's both me and something else too. A whole different personality inside me. It's not a bad thing, though. Not at all."

"Do you have any regrets?" I asked.

She squeezed my shoulder. "None at all."

I sighed and stood up, remembering the conversation with Harley. I stepped outside to join Steff. He tossed the ball into the air, and Bently caught it before it hit the grass.

"Hey, I wondered when you were going to come out. It's a beautiful day. No reason to be cramped up inside."

"Yeah, I had some calls to make. Can I ask you a question, Steff?"

Obviously hearing the seriousness in my tone, Steff took the ball from Bently and focused entirely on me.

"When I was over at Harley's the other night, we spoke about her becoming a shifter. She said her dragon was like a different person living inside her, but you share emotions and things. Is that what you feel?"

He took a while to ponder over that. "That's pretty accurate. My bear and I coexist. We share emotions and sensations. It's a give-and-take sort of thing. I'm always mostly in charge. When I shift, he comes to the forefront, but I'm always right there. I've lived with it most of my life, so it's difficult to explain it. When something is so completely part of you, there's no way to tell someone who's never had it what it's like. Imagine meeting someone who's been blind since birth and trying to describe to them what it's like being able to see. They have no frame of reference, you know?"

It made sense. How did you explain something to someone who had no idea what you were talking about? "Is it hard to control the bear?"

"It's hard getting used to sharing a body with another being. It usually happens close to puberty, so I had a few years without it. After a while, it became second nature." He took my hand in his. "If you decide to accept my bite, to be claimed by me, I'll be there every step of the way to help you figure it all out. I promise that. I'll show you how to control it so your career won't be affected. My experience will help you stay in the public eye and not have a meltdown or accident like I did."

It was the opening I'd been looking for to mention that I'd been thinking of retiring and see what he would say. For some reason, though, I held off on saying anything. I had to be certain that I was ready to retire before I said anything to Steff.

That night, we went over to Kellan's for a cookout. As usual, Aiden talked incessantly about what he was learning at baseball camp. Apparently, some of the kids at the camp had parents who'd recognized Steff from his playing days. Word had spread quickly, and everyone had been impressed that Aiden knew a famous baseball player.

"They were like, ‘I can't believe your uncle was a pro ball player', and I was all like, yeah, he's pretty cool."

My stomach lurched. Apparently, Aiden saw the look on my face. "Oh, yeah, I know he's not really my uncle yet, but you guys are gonna get married, and then he will be, so it's cool."

Steff grinned and put an arm around my shoulders. He didn't correct Aiden, which sent a shiver of butterflies through my stomach. Aiden wolfed down his grilled chicken, the ran outside to play. Kellan and Kris rolled their eyes, but they didn't say anything else about it. I was thankful for that. I couldn't go through with having that conversation with my brothers yet.

Kellan handed Steff a beer and nodded toward the TV. "Saw the news a couple days ago about a body that was found in the parking lot in front of your office. What the hell was that about?"

I glanced at Kris and saw him give Steff a knowing look. Steff had told Kris about it the other night when they reconciled at the bar. It looked like Kellan hadn't heard yet.

Steff took a seat at a stool at the kitchen island. "I was waiting for the cops to give us more info. I didn't want to worry you too much. I only mentioned it to Kris the other day. The guy was one of April's stalkers. Real psycho."

Kellan glanced at Kris, then back to Steff. "Are you serious?" He gaped at me. "Is he serious?"

I nodded, not knowing what else to do.

"Why didn't you tell me right after it happened?"

"Cops told us to keep it quiet until their investigation was finished. Now that the news has it, I guess it's not as secret as it was," Steff said.

Kellan sighed. "I can't believe they made you stay quiet about a damn dead body being dumped outside your door. Especially one that has connections to April." He gave Steff a warning glare. "Screw the cops, keep me in the loop from now on."

Steff nodded. "You got it. I was only doing as I was told. I wasn't even supposed to mention it to Kris, but… well, I was trying to mend bridges."

Kris grabbed his own beer from the fridge. "You know, if you wanted to make up, all you needed to do was give me a big sloppy kiss. Lots of tongue, maybe a butt squeeze—all would have been forgiven."

Everyone, including Kellan, laughed at that. Thankfully, things went back to normal, then. I was relieved they hadn't started arguing, because I would not have been able to handle it.

As we were leaving, Kellan pulled us aside. "Does that dead body have something to do with those hunters?"

Steff glanced across the room. Chelsea, Kris, and Aiden were playing a board game and weren't paying any attention to us. Steff nodded. "We think that Ryland guy kidnapped April's stalker, then tortured and killed him. As a gift for her or something."

Every time I remembered the puddle of blood in the parking lot, I got chills. The outline of the body under the sheet haunted my nightmares. It only made things worse to know that a man I knew had done that in some sick attempt to impress me or steal me away from Steff.

Kellan hissed through his teeth. "What a sick fuck."

Steff nodded in agreement. "That's accurate. I'll tell you the same thing I told Kris. Keep an eye out for anyone suspicious. We have no idea what the hunters' next move will be. I want to be as proactive as possible."

Kellan nodded and shook Steff's hand before giving me a hug. "Be careful, guys."

As we lay in bed later that night, I stared at the ceiling while Steff read. After twenty minutes, he put his book aside. "What's on your mind?"

"What do you mean?"

"You've been kind of, I don't know, distracted all day."

I sat up, surprised that my internal thoughts and debates had manifested outwardly. I'd thought I'd done a good job of hiding it. Again, I remembered I was a fucking terrible actress. Might as well tell him everything .

"Sorry. I've had a lot on my mind today. Actually, I'm thinking about retiring."

Steff shifted his position, sitting straighter. The look on his face was both worried and intense. "You mean not going back to LA?"

"Yeah. I talked to Larry, and he wanted me to go back to LA and jump back into that life like nothing had ever happened. But I don't know that I can. Even with the whole Ryland thing going on, it's still so peaceful here. It's the only place I can really be myself. The thought of going back to that world? It's exhausting to even think about it."

"This isn't about me, is it?" Steff asked. "I don't want you to give up on something you love to be close to me. I already said I'd go with you and visit as much as possible. I wouldn't want this big of a decision to be based on me."

"It's only partly about you. It's… about everything. My family is here. All I have in LA is a bunch of fake friends—money-hungry, fame-hungry leeches. The closest person I have in that world who I could call a friend is freaking Larry. That's not something to hang your hat on. Having you is a bonus, not a deciding factor."

Relief washed over Steff's face. "Whatever you decide, I support you. If that means you move to California, then I'll have to get a really good airline mileage card. Or I could move there with you and work remotely. Either way, I'm not letting you go again. I'll be there every step of the way."

"You don't know how much that means to me."

Steff pulled me close and kissed me. "This is how it was always meant to be. I love you—always have, always will."

Warmth and happiness, love and desire, excitement and exhilaration all swirled within me. "I love you too, Steff."