5. Blayne

FIVE

BLAYNE

I squeezed my eyes shut, flinching in anticipation of the pain.

Nothing happened.

I opened one eye, then the other, glancing around furtively. There was nothing—no burning sensation or cramps. I felt exactly the same as I had a moment before.

Had Emily lied to screw with us? Wasn't there supposed to be agony when the bond was broken?

I shook my head, thinking. Even without the curse, breaking a mating bond was always torturous. Something else must have gone wrong. The guys had been miserable the entire time they waited to claim their mates. I should have been feeling something similar after losing mine.

"Did it work?" Ava asked.

"Uh…hang on. Not sure."

"Not sure? I thought you said it would be painful?"

Jesus, this woman. "Something must have gone wrong."

I couldn't be completely sure about that, though. I still felt nothing but disdain for Ava, and when I looked at her, there were no romantic inclinations on my part. I didn't even like her. But my panther? That was different. He was still pining for her, still infatuated beyond belief.

A growl of anger and frustration rumbled in my chest. "Maybe you didn't do it right," I said.

Ava sent me a blank look. "How else would I have done it? I said, ‘I do not accept you.' Isn't that what you said I should do?"

"Well, it obviously didn't work. It didn't break the bond. My panther is still drawn to you." I cocked an eyebrow. "You have to really mean it. You did mean it, didn't you?"

Guilt flashed across her face, and she averted her gaze. What the fuck did that mean? Was she purposely screwing with me? Did she want me to go through all the pain of unrequited mating?

Oh, God, did she have feelings for me? My skin crawled at the thought.

"Ava? Are you being serious right now? You do not accept me, right?"

She shook her head quickly. "No, no, it's not what you think." She twisted her fingers together anxiously. "I have no desire to be with you. But…"

My keen panther sight allowed me to see the heat rising in her cheeks.

"It'll hurt you, though. I don't think my conscience will let me knowingly hurt you. Maybe that's why it didn't stick?"

Lord. I wiped a hand across my face and turned away from her, looking off into the woods. It was all I could do to keep from screaming. Spinning back around, I jabbed a finger in her direction. "It's not your concern. I can handle the pain. I've dealt with worse over the last ten years. Whatever happens now will be a walk in the park. Now, put your feelings aside and reject me. Now. Do you accept me as your mate?" My voice was thin, my anger punctuating every word. I was almost at my breaking point.

Ava hesitated for a beat. "No. I don't accept you. I…I reject you."

Again, nothing happened. I gritted my teeth. "Why do I get the feeling that you're messing with me?"

"I'm sorry, Blayne. I'm not doing it on purpose. I'm sorry. It's hard?—"

"Nothing about this is hard," I said, my voice rising. "What's really holding you back? Explain it to me."

She flinched, then recovered and glared at me. "It's not as easy as you make it sound. You may have forgotten how much Liam loved you, but I haven't."

A searing heat that was equal parts sadness and anger tore through my chest. "Don't do that. Don't you dare do that. Leave Liam out of this. You do not get to throw his name at me."

"I'm not trying to use it as a weapon, Blayne. I'm trying to explain."

Rolling my eyes, I gestured toward her. "Oh, then please. Enlighten me."

"Your brother only ever wanted to protect you. The last thing he ever wanted was for you to hurt in any way. It's part of the reason he kept you away from my family. That was the one thing he was most worried about. I can't, deep in my heart, do something that would hurt you like that. I have no intention of being mated to you, but I can't hurt you like that. It would be a slap in the face to Liam's memory."

I ignored the way her words tried to worm into my mind, ignored her honesty. It didn't matter what Liam had wanted. "Yeah? Well, my brother is dead. Which means what he wanted isn't on the table. You played a role in that. You and your whole damned family."

I'd expected that to send her running back home because I couldn't look at her anymore. I wanted the words to sting, to burn. Instead of leaving, though, she gave a slight shake of her head and straightened her shoulders.

"I'm not responsible for what happened to Liam. It took me years to realize that, and I refuse to let you keep bullying me and giving me shit for something that was not my fault. For something that hurt me just as much as it hurt you."

Not her fault? Was she fucking serious? Could she possibly be that dense? The only reason he'd been in that life was because of her.

I didn't want to be a total ass, but this fight had been ten years in the making, and it was time to have it out.

"The only reason he took that last job was so he could buy a big shiny house on the lake and a rock to put on your finger." I pointed a shaking finger at her. "If you weren't such a spoiled little princess, he wouldn't have done it. But Liam always had to make sure pretty little Ava had all the best toys and shiny things. He told me that night he was going to propose to you. I'm sure you manipulated him into thinking he needed to do all that for you."

Ava took two heavy steps toward me and planted her hands on my chest, shoving me backward. "I didn't want that house. I never asked for that damn house. I told Liam it was insane to spend that much money on a house. Your first mistake was thinking I was the one asking for all those things. In truth, it was Liam who wanted all that. Liam did all those jobs because it's what he wanted."

"Are you going to stand here and tell me my brother is to blame for getting shot?"

She didn't look away. Instead, her eyes bored even deeper into mine. "What I think you need to do is take a long, hard look at the person your brother was."

Fury quaked through me as I clenched my fists at my sides. "You better watch yourself, Ava. I don't like your choice of words."

She scoffed at me. "You've spent ten years remembering Liam with rose-colored glasses. He was a fantastic guy, yes, but you know he loved the lavish lifestyle long before he met me. I don't care if you don't like what I'm saying. Sometimes the truth hurts, Blayne. It's time to stop blaming me for what happened to your brother. He always wanted more. The bigger, the better. He only used me as an excuse for the lifestyle he wanted to live."

I rushed at her, getting so close to her face that I could feel her breath on my skin. "Don't speak about him like that."

"Like what, Blayne? Like the person he was? You can't see it because you don't want to. You've never wanted to. For years, you've told yourself that the only reason Liam did the things he did was because of me. It makes it easier for you to hate me. I understand that because I blamed myself for years, but I came to terms with it and saw the truth for myself. You should do the same." She ran a hand through her hair and turned her face up to the sky. "It's not like I came back to make your life miserable. If my father wasn't sick, I wouldn't even be here. Not that you'd care about that. You blame my whole family for Liam's death."

"You're damn right I do," I growled.

She shook her head at me, her smile devoid of any humor. "You know what, Blayne? Nothing I say will change anything. I do—actually, I really do—reject you as my mate. I mean it this time."

Pain unlike anything I'd ever experienced sliced through me. Sharp, intense, and abrupt. It hit fast enough that I couldn't even scream. Instead, I clenched my jaw and slid to my knees. It was like my body was on fire, shattering to pieces and being cut in half at the same time.

Fear filled Ava's eyes as she watched me writhe on the ground. She took a step toward me, a hand outstretched like she wanted to help me.

"No," I grunted through gritted teeth. "Go."

She hesitated, then dropped her hand. With one last, lingering look at me, Ava left.

The agony came over me in ever-increasing waves. My fingers dug furrows in my grass as I tried to control my body. It seemed like it would never end. As I lay on the cool grass, panting for breath and unable to shift, I tried to tell myself it was worth it.