10. Harley

TEN

HARLEY

My eyes snapped open as my stomach roiled. I lurched from the bed and stumbled across the room, barely making it to the toilet before my stomach expelled its contents. Heaving twice more, my stomach muscles started to spasm, and tears tracked down my cheeks. I couldn't stop until every drop of undigested food and liquid had been expelled from my body. Barely able to catch my breath, I gagged one more time before I was done.

After wiping my mouth with a towel, I stumbled back to bed, collapsing on the sweat-soaked sheets. This didn't feel like morning sickness. I'd had it fairly bad when I was pregnant with the girls., but this was something else, I could already tell. My body was feverish, and I had aches, night sweats, and a splitting headache. I had not experienced these symptoms with my previous pregnancies. The thought that it was only because the baby was a boy seemed a little outlandish. All pregnancies were different, but this was too much. I'd never felt this awful. I'd had stomach flu, food poisoning, morning sickness, and none had even been half as bad as this.

After a few minutes, I forced myself to slowly sit up, then I got up and got ready. There was no way I'd lie in bed and let the girls worry about me. It was like my body was made of lead. Every muscle shook as I dressed myself and got shoes on. Afterward, I sat on the edge of the bed, dripping sweat. By sheer force of will, I made it to the bathroom and made my face and hair somewhat presentable.

I planned to tell Mariah and Jordyn about their new baby brother today. The problem was that no matter how many different ways I thought about doing that, none sounded right. The other issue was that they would automatically assume that Luis was the father, and there was zero-percent chance I was going to tell my girls what had actually happened.

"So, girls, Mommy got a little tipsy in New York and met a hot guy. We fucked our brains out all night and didn't even ask each other's names. That's the daddy. Oh, and by the way, the same walking slab of muscle and dick lives next door now. Okay, have a great day now."

Not a chance in hell. My attempts to prevent a full panic attack while thinking about it had been pretty fruitless. All I could do was keep telling myself that I needed to stay calm. Things would work out fine. My girls were strong, smart, and intelligent. Still, no matter how much I tried to talk myself up, worry nagged at the back of my mind. No amount of positive self-talk could keep me from wondering how it would play out.

The girls were in the kitchen eating cereal when I came down. Each step was like a full thirty-minute workout. I grabbed a granola bar from the pantry and sat down, hoping the girls couldn't see the sweat already beading on my forehead. I was still sick to my stomach but wanted to appear as normal as I could. When I took a bite of the cereal bar, I regretted my choice of breakfast. The dry, crumbly texture sucked all the moisture out of my mouth. I chewed, the granola going from crunchy to gummy. I swallowed hard and kept a neutral expression as I fought not to vomit all over the table.

Jordyn glanced over at Mariah and whispered, "Ask her."

"Ask me what?" I mumbled, trying to work up the courage to take another bite of the bar.

Mariah smiled shyly and looked back at Jordyn. "Would it be okay if we went to the mall? To do some school shopping?"

My nausea and exhaustion forgotten for the barest moment, I looked up in surprise. They were smiling. The hopeful expressions on their faces would have been over-the-top and silly, had I not already known how bored they were. A shopping trip and lunch were usually nothing exciting. But after being in Lilly Valley for several weeks, the trip to the next town over probably sounded like the excursion of a lifetime.

"By yourselves?" I asked, praying the hopefulness wasn't evident in my voice.

Mariah chewed at her lip before speaking carefully. "I have my permit. You said I was doing really good. Plus, it's only like ten miles away. What do you think?"

They were also getting tired of being around Mom all day. I could relate. Normally, it would have broken my heart a little. Today? The thought of being able to go lie back down for a while without having to put on a show of health sounded like nirvana. Though, I couldn't seem too urgent to get them out of the house.

I worked up my best mom voice, and said, "Okay, but no speeding. Seatbelts, and use your turn signal like I told you. Before you hit the brakes, not after."

Surprise flashed across their faces. Mariah was already nodding, a smile forming on her lips.

"I'll give you my card. Two hundred bucks each. Not a cent more. Got it? And go ahead and get lunch there while you're out. There's a food court, so take your pick, but no damned desserts. I don't want you having cinnamon rolls or ice cream for lunch."

"Okay," both girls said in giddy unison.

They nearly leaped up from the table to put their bowls in the sink. I took a breath and heaved myself up out of my chair. I found my purse by the door and dug out my card. Handing it to Mariah, I pulled her close and said, "If you guys wanna catch a movie, go ahead. Make a day of it if you want. Just be home by three."

Mariah grinned and nodded. "Thanks, Mom." She tilted her head and looked at me closely. "Are you okay? You look really pale."

"Fine. Just fine. Didn't sleep well last night."

"Okay," she said, sounding unsure. "See you this afternoon."

A few seconds later, I watched as Mariah backed the car out of the garage and out onto the street. Before the garage door was even closed, I walked back to my room. It felt like I was on fire but also freezing to death. Maybe I had the flu or something? Before I could get to my bedroom, another massive wave of nausea struck me, and I dived into the guest bathroom and threw up the water and two bites of granola I'd just had. Instead of feeling better after throwing up, I felt worse.

Once I was in bed, exhausted and drained, I couldn't sleep. I choked down some Tylenol, hoping to lower the temperature I knew I had. It went on like that for over an hour. One minute I was rolling around in bed, first freezing and huddling under the covers. The next minute I was sweltering to the point I threw the blankets and sheets off, pulled my clothes off, and tossed them on the floor. Even naked under the ceiling fan, my body was on fire. It worried me that I seemed to be getting worse. If I had any friends here, I could call someone to help me, but all my friends were fifteen-miles away.

Then a thought occurred to me. Emily. She was the closest thing I had to a friend here. As little as I wanted to impose on someone I'd just met, I wanted my girls to find me like this even less. Chills were creeping back into my joints, and I tried to find my pajamas and panties again as I grabbed my phone from the nightstand.

I texted Emily, telling her I was sick and asking if she could come over and help me. To my surprise, she responded within a minute, asking for my address. She didn't even ask what was wrong; she was eager to come help. Gratefulness washed over me, so strong that my eyes welled with tears. I sent her my address and told her not to worry about getting here in a hurry and to take her time.

Thirty minutes later, Emily knocked on my front door. Too tired and weak to make it back downstairs, I called out to her. "Come in."

Thankfully, the house and neighborhood were quiet, and she heard me. Emily appeared in my room a few seconds later, carrying a bag of groceries.

Her eyes went wide when she saw me. "Harley, no offense, but you look like absolute shit."

I gave her a tired smile. "Thanks. You're pretty hot yourself."

"Sorry. I brought some stuff. I wasn't sure what you'd need." She dug in the bag and listed everything. "Cold and flu medicine, Pepto, chicken noodle soup, saltines, Gatorade, and bananas."

"Sounds great, everything a lady needs for a full tune up," I attempted to joke, but my voice was monotone and listless.

Emily put the bag down and pulled out the medicine. "I'll be right back."

She returned a few minutes later with the bright green liquid in a small plastic cup. Looking at the viscous drink made me want to hurl again. I didn't think I could stomach it, but Emily was insistent. Thankfully, it had a minty flavor and wasn't as thick as other medicines. It went down easily, and I lay back on the bed. Emily dug into her purse and pulled out several small bottles.

She held them up. "Essential oils. I'm not a hippy or anything, but I am a little crunchy, I guess."

She dabbed some on my forehead and temples, then raised my shirt to drip another oil on my stomach. The smell was… weird, but it did ease my nausea. Emily had been here less than ten minutes, and I already felt better. Mentally, I congratulated myself on making at least one good decision in the last three months.

Emily pulled the chair close to the bed and smiled at me in concern. "Harley, are you sure you don't want to go to the hospital? You really don't look good."

I shook my head. "It's just the flu or something. Maybe the flu and food poisoning? It's not that serious."

"Yeah, but it can't be good for the baby if you can't keep anything down. You have to think about that, right?"

She had a point. I hadn't thought about what the tiny person growing inside me was going through, and I couldn't remember the last time I'd peed. Maybe I was dehydrated. That had to be dangerous for a fetus.

I waved at the brown shopping bag. "Can I have a Gatorade?"

"Sure." She handed me the bottle.

I sipped at it at first, worried I would spew it back up immediately. Instead, when the lemony drink hit my tongue, a devastating wave of thirst washed over me. I was ravenous for liquid. I gulped half the bottle before Emily snatched it away.

"Hang on. Go slow," she said with a chuckle.

I nodded. "Okay. I'm going to try to sleep. I promise, if my fever hasn't gone down, or I get worse, I'll go to the doctor."

"Okay," Emily said. "I'll stay here as long as you need. I brought a book."

If I'd been less exhausted, I would have thanked her, but instead, I slipped into a deep sleep. I dreamed about flapping wings and a thwap-thwap sound all around me as I was lifted into the air. They weren't my wings, though. At first, I couldn't see anything or what was lifting me, then a set of gold reptilian eyes stared at me out of the darkness. It should have been a terrifying dream, but for some reason, both things were almost comforting. It was a strange dream, to say the least.

Sometime later, I woke and found Emily still beside me. She was leaning back in the chair, her left leg draped over her right, holding the book in one hand. I felt human again, and I could tell my fever was gone, as were the body aches and nausea. There was no way I would rate myself as one-hundred percent, but based on before the nap, I was a solid eighty percent better.

When Emily noticed I was awake, she put the book on her lap and leaned forward. "How do you feel?"

Slowly sitting up to rest against the headboard, I said, "Actually? A lot better."

Emily looked relieved but still worried. Setting the book aside, she dug into the bag and pulled out a can of soup and a pack of crackers.

"Hungry?" she asked.

My stomach rumbled, and not in a bad way. I nodded vigorously. "Yes, please."

She handed me the crackers, then went to the kitchen to heat the soup. I had eaten half the pack and washed it down with Gatorade by the time she got back and handed me the warm bowl and spoon. I ate, groaning in pleasure between bites.

Emily placed a hand on my thigh. "Harley, I think you should think about telling Tate about the baby."

I snapped my eyes up to her, nearly dropping the spoon into the bowl. "Absolutely not. The guy already hates me. This would just give him another reason to despise me."

Emily sighed and shrugged. "I think he'll be more receptive than you think. He might surprise you."

Unsure of how she could possibly think that, I asked, "How do you know that?"

"I don't know it, but I've got a hunch," Emily said.

After I ate, I felt even better. By the time Emily left, I was close to my old self, which was a good thing since the girls got home a while later. They showed me all the things they'd gotten for school. Mariah had done a good job of helping Jordyn pick out things on sale or clearance, and they both got a surprising amount of things for the limit I'd given them. They gushed about the newest epic superhero movie, and it sounded like Jordyn had a crush on the leading man, which I found rather hilarious. I felt so good that I didn't even give them a hard time when I found the Cinnabon receipt at the bottom of one of the bags.

As I cooked dinner, my thoughts slipped back to what Emily had said. How would I deal with things if I told Tate about the baby and he rejected it? There was no scenario I could run in my head that had us still living across the street from him if he shunned our child. No possible way I could handle that type of reaction.

Another small part of me wondered though, what might happen if he did accept the baby and, by association, me. I didn't know him, not really. We were still basically strangers. What if our baby acted like a bridge? What would happen if we were brought together? What would that life even look like?