25. Celina

TWENTY-FIVE

CELINA

Meeting up with Felicity had rattled me. After it was all over, I'd been okay. It was only as the hours went by that I realized how badly things could have gone. I had no idea what Felicity had planned for me. Did she really only want me to meet her hunter friends? To try and get me to join her crazy cult? Or had her motives been more sinister? Maybe she wanted to hold me hostage. Worse yet, I might have been some sacrifice so Miles and his friends would act out of rage and anguish. They'd be mad with anger and make mistakes and probably go off half-cocked. The possibilities piled up in my head, each one more awful than the last.

On top of it all, Felicity hadn't totally disappeared. Her constant presence in my life was nearly pushing me to the edge of a panic attack. It had been days since the restaurant incident, and she was still texting me. The crazy part was that she was acting like the situation in the restaurant had been something other than an attempted kidnapping. Every text was her asking me what was wrong with Miles, that he had anger issues, that he was crazy, and was bad for me.

I tried to ignore the messages, but they were starting to weigh on me. It hurt because I thought I'd actually made a friend, that Felicity truly liked me and wanted to be around me. That had all been a show. A bald-faced lie, and the lies hadn't stopped even when she'd basically been caught red-handed. Knowing I'd tried to open myself up to someone only to find out I'd been used was a slap in the face. As much as I didn't want to, the whole situation was making me shut down and close in on myself. I'd locked myself away in my apartment.

Miles and his friends were all on the road doing their best to track down the hunter headquarters. They'd been in and around Denver for days. He checked in when he could. It was usually only a text here and there, one call, and one random email. I hadn't even realized he had my email, but after watching Blayne work, it was pretty obvious how he'd gotten it. He was trying, but he was pulled thin. He was stressed out about what the hunters were doing and with finding their leader. He was also dealing with what the curse was doing to him. Then there was me. A new relationship, and all that came with it. I didn't want to be the needy girl, but I missed him.

Three days before, almost as though he'd heard my thoughts from afar, my phone rang. I smiled when I saw it was Miles and answered.

"Hey, beautiful. How are you?"

"I'm good. I was just thinking about you, actually."

"Dirty thoughts, I hope."

I had smiled and felt the familiar flutters in my stomach. My usual embarrassment had started to fade. It was one of the surprises I'd had with being with Miles. I was starting to become more comfortable in my own skin. Though I still wasn't comfortable enough to answer his question. Instead, I changed the subject.

"How's the search going?"

"Not great. We thought we'd for sure found their training complex. Turns out it was just one of those weird clubs where guys get together to pretend to be military commandos and do training. Good thing we double-checked. Tate and I were ready to nuke the place. Thankfully, Steff and Blayne had the cooler heads. So, we're pretty much back to square one. How are things there?"

I had chosen not to tell him that I'd been pretty lonely and isolated. Instead, I let him know that things were fine and I was doing all right. I went with the old stand-by.

"Writing a lot. That's about it."

"Sounds good. I wanted to check in, that was all. Do you need anything?"

"Nope. All good."

"Okay. Talk to you soon."

That conversation had sent me into a little bit of a spiral. I know he'd only wanted to keep the connection between us, and it should have made me happy, but all it did was remind me that I hadn't seen him in days and that the only other person I'd made contact with had been a wolf in sheep's clothing. I kept thinking of all the awful things that could happen to Miles. It made me sink in on myself. The next day, I didn't leave my house. I tried to sleep in, like the clichéd depressed person I was, but sleep eluded me. Too much was spinning around in my mind. I only let myself stew in self-pity for one day, though. The next morning, I decided to re-center myself.

I got up and turned off my phone and my computer. I sank into the couch and lost myself in a book. After several hours of that, I went to another go-to—baking. I was about thirty minutes into a batch of oatmeal-raisin cookies when I heard pounding on the front door. I jumped and yelped, slinging my spatula across the room.

"Celina?" Miles yelled from behind the door. He sounded panicked and afraid.

I went to the door as fast as I could and opened it. Miles stood there, eyes wide in fear. He stepped in, released a sigh of relief, and immediately started running his hands over my body––not in the let's-get-naughty kind of way, more in a shit-are-you-hurt kind of way.

"Are you all right?" he murmured as he checked me over.

"Uh…yeah. Why?"

"Why?" His head jerked up to look into my eyes. He stared at me like I was crazy.

"Your bodyguard called me and said he hadn't seen you come out of your apartment for a whole day. He called me last night. I let it go, thinking you were just laying low. Then I tried calling and texting you this morning, and no answer. I was afraid something had happened to you in here. I freaked and drove straight here from Denver."

I blinked at him, a little shocked. Before I could say anything, he cupped my face. "Have you been getting enough sleep? You've got dark circles under your eyes." His look of concern was both nice and heartbreaking. I shook my head. He sighed and pulled me into a hug. I was stiff at first, but soon, sank into his arms, letting my body mold into his.

"This is my fault. It's too much. I never should have gotten you involved with this."

Before I could say anything, I shoved him back. Not hard, but enough to break our embrace. The hurt I felt at his words must have shown on my face. From the way he spoke, it sounded like I was some kind of breakable thing. A fragile Christmas bauble on a tree that could be knocked off from the slightest breeze and end up shattering on the floor.

"Miles, I'm not weak. I can handle this. In fact, I was handling it. I unplugged and spent the day gathering myself."

"I didn't call you weak," he said, holding up his hands in defense. "It's only that if shutting yourself away for two days straight and unplugging from the world doesn't necessarily scream overwhelmed, I don't know what does."

I usually kept my anger hidden. Most of the time, I was uncomfortable in arguments and any situation where I had to defend myself. In an ironic twist of fate, though, my relationship with Miles had helped me grow strong enough to say exactly what I felt.

"It's okay to be overwhelmed, Miles. Christ, who the fuck wouldn't be?"

"Easy now. I'm not trying to fight. I only want you safe. I think it might be best if I try to keep you further away from all this."

"I'm a part of this," I shouted, surprised by the strength of my voice. "And I deserve to be with you. The curse pulled me in, too. I'm eventually going to be a shifter, so I should shoulder some of the risks."

"Absolutely not."

My face was heating, and not with the usual schoolgirl blush I suffered from. No, this was the heat of anger. "Now wait one second. Are you giving ultimatums?"

Without hesitation, Miles said, "Yes. If it means keeping you safe."

"Have you thought for even a second, that maybe I want you to stay safe as much as you want me to be safe? You're the one being actively hunted." The words started pouring out of my mouth, and I couldn't stop them once I got going. "You're the first person to ever care for me. Do you have any idea what would happen to me if something happened to you? You've focused so much on me that you haven't even thought about your-fucking-self. I need to know you're safe. If I wake up one day all alone again, I'll—" The words finally stopped. I didn't know what else to say. I'd laid all my fears out for him.

Miles simply stared at me. I couldn't describe the look on his face. It was like a combination of horror, realization, sadness, and shame. He was quiet for a long time before he spoke again.

"I'm sorry. You're right. I've been selfish. I need to make sure you're safe, but I have to care about myself, too. From now on, I promise to take your fears into account."

I didn't even realize I was crying until he stepped forward and wiped at my cheeks, smearing away the wetness. I'd never been so open with anyone, but at that moment, I couldn't help it.

"It's scary. All of this. And I can't stop thinking that it's about to get worse. There's another shoe about to drop. This impending doom?—"

Before I could go on, he pulled me into his arms, silencing me. "I won't let anything happen," Miles whispered.

I dug my hands into his back, holding him tight, my tears soaking his chest. "I can't lose you. You mean too much to me. You've changed my life. Made me feel wanted for the first time." A spike of shame hit me when I saw the smear of snot I'd left on his shirt. I groaned and wiped at my face with a sleeve.

Miles pulled away and lifted my head, cupping my chin and looking into my eyes. "I feel the same about you. It's why I'm doing everything I can to make sure Felicity never has a chance to get near you again. I will move heaven and earth to protect you. I would tear down the pillars of the world and rip apart the fabric of space to save you. Whatever it takes."

I grinned and sniffled. "Sounds a little overly dramatic. Can I use that line in one of my books?"

"Sure." He chuckled as he squeezed me closer. "I'll do everything I can to get this over with as soon as possible. Then we can relax and start our lives together."

He kissed me then, long and lingering. Suddenly, with no warning, he scooped me up, kicking the door closed behind him. Miles walked us straight back to my bedroom.

"Uh…are we gonna do that thing?" I asked.

"The thing?" he arched an eyebrow.

"Is this gonna be make-up sex? I've heard about it," I said.

Miles laughed. "No. Your first time isn't going to be hot and heavy post-fight sex. You need to sleep, and so do I."

I was both relieved and a little disappointed, but as soon as he set me on the bed, deep and bone-tired exhaustion overtook me. I felt like I could sleep for a whole day. Miles helped pull my shoes, socks, and pants off. He then did the same and slid into bed with me after turning off all the lights. It was the earliest I'd ever gone to bed, but as soon as I rested my head on his chest and heard the steady beat of his heart, I was drifting off. Right before I fell asleep, I thought I heard him whisper four words.

"I love you, Celina."

I woke up almost fifteen hours later, the sun barely peeking through the windows. I felt amazing. I'd definitely needed the sleep. The aroma of food cooking enticed me to roll over, and I realized Miles wasn't in bed. He stepped into the bedroom a few seconds later, carrying a plate of food.

"Breakfast in bed," he said.

I glanced down at the bacon, eggs, and toast. My stomach rumbled, and I started eating almost as soon as I had the plate in my hand. Miles placed a glass of orange juice on my bedside table and sat on the bed next to me.

"I thought we'd spend the day together today. No hunter stuff, no work stuff, just us. How about it? It's cold as shit outside. Looked like it was sleeting. A great day to stay cozy inside on the couch."

It sounded amazing. With a stuffed mouth, I nodded, not wanting to speak and spray the hot guy on my bed with chewed scrambled eggs. When we finished eating, we moved from the bed to the couch in the living room and spent the next four hours streaming movies. It was wonderful, one of the most relaxing mornings I'd ever had. I could hear the sleet and snow spitting against the window the whole time. There was something inherently pleasant about being warm and inside when the weather outside was awful. What was the old Christmas song lyric? Oh, the weather outside is frightful? It was accurate beyond belief.

By noon, Miles had gone to the kitchen to make us grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup. That was when I started to get antsy. It wasn't that I didn't love spending the day with him, but it was starting to feel like we had our heads stuck in the sand. How would this ever get settled if he was holed up in here with me?

"Miles, are you sure you shouldn't head back to the guys? I feel a lot better, and I don't want to pull you away from your work," I said, feeling embarrassed.

Miles flipped the two sandwiches in the frying pan and glanced over at me. "I'm not going to worry. All that can wait until tomorrow. Today is about you."

"Positive? We have to figure this out to have any real peace. You're the best one to help them track this guy down."

Miles put the sandwiches on a plate and spooned out two bowls of soup. He then took it all over to the coffee table. "Come here and binge-watch this show with me. Let's forget about the world for a while."

I smiled despite myself and joined him. He pushed play on the TV, and I snuggled into him, my bowl of soup balanced on my lap. Miles kissed the side of my head. "You know I'd do anything for you, right?"

I nodded and started eating. The theme song to the show started, and Miles set his soup on his lap as well. He ate with one hand as he kept his other arm wrapped around me. I knew he really would do anything for me.

I would do the same for him.