29. Miranda

The team planeflying back to New Jersey is noisy with celebration. The Atlantic Conference won the game and will have the home ice advantage if a team from the conference makes it to the Dickinson Cup Finals. Some people are staying an extra night, but many of us are ready to get back home. Home. I can't remember ever using that word and it feeling so right, deep in my soul. Sure, I say it all the time for convenience, but I never truly mean it. I do now. New Jersey is my home and where I want to put down roots. Hopefully, I won't be alone.

Taking our usual seats in the back of the plane, we tell Stella what we want to drink after takeoff and settle in with blankets covering us. Snuggling against Declan's side with his arm draped across my shoulders, this is the most peace I have ever felt in my life. Everything is going to be okay. The world goes fuzzy around me until it's all darkness and Declan. I float a bit, like I did when I'd drink Doreen's tea. But there's no struggle this time, no screaming at myself something's not right. Everything's right.

"Psst…time to wake up Daisy. We're about to land."

"Hrmph?"

"You fell asleep, Miranda, we're about to land."

I sit up and wipe the drool from my chin. "I didn't fall asleep. You know I don't sleep on planes."

"Randi, you were asleep. You were snoring," Trevor says from the row in front of ours.

Stone shoves his phone back between the seats. I'm horrified to see a video of me, with my head pillowed on Dec's chest. My mouth is wide open, and a low snuffle is emanating from me.

"You're a mean, mean man, Sean Waller," I say.

"But if I make you French toast, you'll forgive me, right?"

Rolling my eyes, I sigh. "Maybe. But with extra cinnamon."

Why did I fall asleep now? Okay, yeah, I didn't get a ton of sleep last night, but I've flown way more exhausted and been wide awake. Is this what it's like to heal childhood trauma? I should ask Daphne for the name of her therapist. I think I'm going to need to talk to someone neutral about everything I've gone through.

Speaking of Daphne, she is waiting for us when we get off the plane while Logan grabs their bags.

"You fell asleep on the plane," she squeals, grabbing my arm in excitement and giving a wiggle.

I flush hotly. "You could hear me snore that far up?"

"What? No. I walked back to use the restroom and saw."

"You know you can trust Declan to keep you safe while you slept, and you love him." She wipes a tear from her eye. "It's beautiful."

I blink. Is it true? My flippant answer would be to ask her what self-help podcast she got that from and say we made love most of the night and I'm functioning on two hours of sleep. But I've gone days without sleep before while traveling and never dozed off. Even on the flights we had before, sitting next to Declan, when I was exhausted from moving to New Jersey, I remained wide awake. Of course, I love Declan. That's never been in question. But do I trust him and know I'm safe around him? I realize I do. There's no one in the world I trust more. Not even Trevor, who I know would do almost anything for me.

"Yeah, Daph," I say, taking Dec's hand. "It is beautiful."

Dec leans down to press a kiss on my cheek. "But not as beautiful as you."