15. Miranda

I takea sip of champagne and close my eyes as it slides down my throat. It's lovely.

"I assume you didn't have champagne when you were getting ready for prom?" Kendall says from the pedicure chair next to me. We are at the spa at Devil's Den, getting primped and polished for the party tonight. Turns out it's more than a simple party. It's a gala. Season ticket holders and community leaders will be attending, eager to mingle with the players.

"No. I didn't have friends to share it with, either."

She looks at me in confusion. "What do you mean?"

I look at my glass, wondering if it was high octane because I'm sharing things I never do. I've spoken more about my past this week than I ever have. I know it's not the champagne—it's Declan. Most of my life has been in separate parts—the real me Declan knows and the curated version of me I show everyone else—and now they are melding together. I want to stay here and be able to trust the relationships I'm building are true. For that to happen, I have to lower my defenses and let people in. I have to risk getting hurt and it petrifies me.

"I didn't have friends. Anywhere. You were the first friend I had since Declan and Sophie when I was a little girl. I hated school." I blink rapidly to hold back the tears.

Kendall smiles kindly at our attendants. "Can you give us a few minutes, please?"

I watch them walk away, grateful for Kendall's request. I'm not comfortable talking about this at all, let alone in front of strangers.

"You know I've learned more about you this past week than I did in four years of living together? Was I self-centered and didn't ask? Did I make you feel like you couldn't share? I'm sorry."

"Oh, Kennie, no. You did nothing wrong. I don't talk about my past because I don't want to make people feel bad for me. And I don't want to let people know how screwed up I am. I don't know why no one wanted to be my friend. I tried. I think I'm a nice person."

"You are," Kendall assures me.

"I was incredibly lonely," I whisper. "The first school in England, everyone pretended they couldn't understand me because my Irish accent was too strong. I was ten and alone. Being without my parents wasn't anything new, but I didn't have Declan or Sophie. I spent all my time in the barn with the horses and made the equestrian team. I used to ride. I loved it. My dream was to go to the Olympics. The day before my first competition, my parents pulled me out of school and sent me to a German immersion school in Portugal."

I stretch out my leg. "This fair Irish skin wasn't used to the Portuguese sun."

"Oh, honey." Kendall rests her hand on my arm. It feels good. Kennie is a toucher and until we roomed together at college, I hadn't realized how deprived I'd been of simple human contact. I loved cheering and dancing with Trevor because I was touching someone. Not in any kind of sexual or romantic way, of course, just basic human contact and connection.

"Prom night was the first time I'd been hugged out of my hockey gear in eight years." It feels shameful to admit that. "You know hockey hugs after goals are a thing?"

Kendall nods.

I swallow hard. "I'd get them when I scored, but they weren't personal. Declan hugging me when he saw me before prom was the first genuine hug I'd had since he hugged me when I left Ireland for boarding school."

"How are you not a sociopath?" she asks.

Her question startles a laugh out of me. "What?"

"There are studies where children who have been deprived of affection and stability like you were often grow up to be sociopaths and serial killers and generally horrible people. And you're not. It's amazing."

"Are we sure I'm not?"

"Did you have friends in New Zealand? Were you happy there?"

I look across the spa where Brick and Teagan are getting facials, thinking about how to answer.

"I had people I was friendly with," I answer slowly. "People seemed to like me, but I was more aloof. I knew I wasn't staying, so there was no point in getting attached. I enjoyed being there. It's beautiful, but it wasn't going to be my home. I learned a lot I hope to use here."

I wiggle my toes. I don't want to talk about this anymore. This is a day to be happy and thinking about my past makes me sad. I don't want those shadows intruding on the light of today. The new year is about me finding my home, my tribe. The past can stay there.

"Should we call the attendants back? What color polish are you picking?" I ask.

* * *

"Okay, close your eyes," Abby, Kendall's friend and co-worker, tells me. I do what I'm told, and she swipes the eyeshadow across my lids. When she steps back, I blink at the transformation. My eyes, normally a boring steel gray, look almost silver with the dramatic shadow.

"Oh my goodness, how did you do that?" I say in awe.

She shrugs. "I'm a raccoon shifter. Smokey eye is my birthright."

Kennie giggles next to me as Abby works her magic on her. Not that Kennie needs magic. She's beautiful in an ice-blue gown that hugs her curves and perfectly matches her eyes. Bedard is going to lose his mind when he sees her.

I finish putting on mascara and lipstick and appraise myself in the mirror. I hope Declan thinks I look pretty. This past week since we've reconnected, it seems like there is a bond that wasn't there before. I've always been attracted to him, and he's always been kind to me, but I never got the feeling he saw me as anything other than a friend. Now there seems to be an…awareness…between us that wasn't when we were younger. Maybe the stars are finally aligning for me, and I'll find the connection to someone I've always longed for.

I slip into my gown, and Mallory zips it up for me. My eyes mist over when I remember I had to go ask the cleaning lady of the dormitory I lived in to zip me up when I was dressing for prom. I wasn't included in the primping with the other girls. No giggles and gossip, no shared hopes for the evening. I was alone, dressing myself in a gown I got in the clearance section of a bridal boutique in town. The moment I saw it I prayed it would fit and I could afford it because the shade of green reminded me of Ireland and the fields of clovers I'd scour with Sophie and her brothers trying to find four-leaf clovers. I never found one, but I still felt lucky to be there with them.

"What are you doing for jewelry?" Daphne asks with a slight smile on her lips.

I bite my lip in consternation. "I didn't wear any for prom and I don't have anything. I'm not a jewelry person."

"Huh," Daphne says. "You should at least wear a necklace."

"Yeah, you need a necklace," Brick chimes in. "Let's see what we can find…"

"No, I don't need anything, I'm fine." I appreciate how kind they are, but I'm okay with how I am.

"Oh, look," Kennie says, holding up a small gift-wrapped box. "I wonder what's in here?"

We've been friends long enough I know not to trust her innocent air. She's up to something. I confirm my suspicion when she hands me the box. There's a slip of paper taped on top of the green and white striped wrapping paper. I flip it open, and my eyes get misty when I read the message.

Saw this and remembered hunting for four-leaf clovers with you. I hope you'll wear it. -Declan

I slip my fingernail under the tape and reveal the small wooden jewelry box with a Celtic knot inlay in a lighter color wood. It's beautiful, but nothing compares to what I find when I lift the lid. On a delicate silver chain is a pendant in the shape of a four-leaf clover with the leaves a gorgeous green gemstone—I can't believe it's emerald, it's probably colored glass—and around the clover is a round filigree frame in silver in a Celtic knot design. It's beautiful and reminds me of happier times.

"Oh my, how gorgeous," Teagan exclaims. She is wearing a glittery black gown that skims her body. "Lift your hair. I'll put it on you."

I turn around and lift my hair off my neck so she can place the chain around my neck and do up the clasp. I've left my hair down with the sides pulled back with exquisite silver combs Mallory lent me. For once, my curls are cooperating and falling in tidy ringlets down my back. After she fastens it and I let my hair fall, I touch the pendant where it sits at my collarbones. I can't believe Declan remembered our childhood games and thought to get me something both beautiful and meaningful. I'm already hopelessly in love with him. He doesn't need to do things like this to make me fall even harder. I'm afraid to hope gestures like this mean he has similar feelings for me.

A knock on the door of the suite we're using to get ready signals the guys are here to escort us. Other than Daphne, Mallory, and Kennie, we're all single ladies. It's a group thing and not specific dates. Declan is by far the most handsome of the single guys—all the guys—easily eclipsing Carter, Stone, and Alvarez. A shiver flows through me when his gorgeous blue eyes slowly sweep over me, from head to toe. The smile curving those lips I'm dying to kiss stirs butterflies in my tummy.

"You got it. I hope you like it," Dec says when he walks over to where I'm standing by the sofa in the suite's seating area.

I reach up to caress the pendant and his eyes follow my movement and then glance down to the swell of my breasts, visible thanks to the v-neckline of my gown. Nothing excessive is showing, but the maturing my figure has done from teenager to woman has changed how the dress fits. If the slow blink and faint blush are anything to go by, Dec likes the changes.

"You look beautiful," he says, his voice tinged more with the Irish lilt I'm used to from growing up, rather than the Scottish brogue he most often sports since his time in boarding school. The butterflies in my stomach take wing and there is no stopping the smile spreading across my face.

Reaching up to brush the lapels of his black suit, I say, "You're looking very dapper yourself, Mr. Mackenzie. I love the tie." His tie is the Mackenzie family tartan and the green of it matches the green of my gown perfectly, like we are meant to be together. He wore a black tuxedo for prom and was the best-looking guy there, but this is a whole other level of gorgeousness.

Daphne walks over with her cell phone at the ready. "I need a picture of you two. There will be a blue carpet and a step and repeat downstairs for more formal pictures. You have to recreate your prom photo and let us show them side by side on the jumbotron at a game. We'll get prom pics from all the team."

"Great idea, Daph," Teagan calls out.

"Don't forget about me," Carter exclaims. "Randi and I need a picture together too since we went to one of my Barrister Balls together."

"If Mac and Carter get pictures with Randi, I want one too," Stone says with a mock pout. At least, I think it's pretend.

In the end, I get my picture taken with everyone on the team, including Brick. Daphne, Mallory, and Kendall make their guys do prom pose pictures with them too. Logan holds Daphne's belly, looking smug. Can't blame him. Daph is gorgeous in a midnight-blue floor-length gown with an empire waist highlighting her Birdie bump and chiffon ruffles at her shoulders. She is radiant. I love seeing her happy and loved. I hope I have that someday, too.

We walk into the ballroom and I'm in awe of how elegant it looks. I realize it's not a single ballroom, but a series of them with partitions open to create a massive space. Casino games are dotted throughout, inviting guests to gamble for fun with proceeds going to the charities tonight's gala is supporting. There's a stage with a dance floor, tables for dining, bars and food stations, and what looks like a lounge area at the far end of the space.

Teagan waves to get everyone's attention. "Don't forget we have the player auction where the winner will get to spend half an hour with you. Please remain in the ballroom for your allotted time. If you choose to rendezvous outside of the half hour, that's your business. But for those thirty minutes, you are representing the Devil Birds, and we want to keep it PG. You can play blackjack, dance, eat. Karaoke is down the other end." She points to the lounge area. "Whatever. Make sure they have a good time, but don't do anything that makes you uncomfortable. If there is a problem with anyone getting too handsy or inappropriate, signal for security. They're in black suits with gold ties and have earpieces. They'll take care of it."

"There's an auction?" I ask Dec.

He grimaces. "Aye, we are to stand on stage like stallions at stud and get bid on. I offered to write a check to buy my freedom, but Teagan won't let me." The plea in his blue eyes makes it obvious what he's going to ask of me. "Please bid whatever you must to win me. Here's my credit card." He shoves the card into my hand, then clasps his hands behind his back so I can't give it back.

I know Declan is trying to save money to buy his farm. I don't want him to waste it on this. As I slip his card into my clutch, I think about the balance on my credit card left over after I wrapped up things in New Zealand before I left and my flight here. I can bid around two thousand dollars, but it will be every penny I have available to me. It's absolutely worth it in order to have time with Declan. Hopefully, the bidding won't go too high, because the thought of another woman getting to spend time with Declan tonight is too dire to consider.

"I'll do the best I can," I promise.

They open the doors for the guests, and soon the ballroom is full of men in suits and women in gorgeous dresses. There is an air of merriment, and the champagne is flowing. Because Dec is taller than average, he's easy to spot in the crowd as he meets fans and poses for pictures. An advantage of him being almost seven feet tall is, all the women who would try to kiss him on the cheek can't reach him. I feel a jolt when his eyes meet mine over the crowd. When he gives me a sexy wink and a half smile, it's more than a jolt. It's like I stuck my finger in an electrical socket while standing in a bathtub full of water. It's a pulse throughout my body, concentrating on my abdomen and nether regions. I want this man. I've always been attracted to him, but this is the first time I've felt a bone-deep desire like this.

The players get time off through the night to eat away from the fans or spend time with their dates. When it's Declan's turn, he beelines for me.

"Have you eaten yet?" he asks.

I shake my head.

"Would you like to join me?"

"Yeah," I say, suddenly feeling shy.

He takes my hand and tingles run up my arm.

We fill our plates with lobster, filet mignon, and other delicious things that are thankfully not the haggis we would have if we were celebrating Hogmanay in Scotland.

We take seats with Brick, Crosby, Daphne, and Logan.

"Isn't this spread incredible?" Brick asks, as she enjoys her shrimp cocktail.

"It is. Miranda is thrilled it's not a Hogmanay feast," Declan says.

Logan smiles knowingly. "Not a fan of haggis, Randi?"

I shudder at the thought.

"What's haggis?" Daphne asks.

"You don't want to know," Declan and Logan say in unison, causing me to choke on the sip of champagne.

Daph looks at me, and I shake my head, agreeing with the guys she's better off not knowing the truth about haggis.

"The auction is next," Brick says. "I hope whoever bids is okay playing blackjack."

"Same," Crosby says. "What about you, Mac?"

He shrugs. "Depends who wins. I'd be okay doing karaoke or dancing."

"I didn't think you could dance," Brick says.

My head whips around to Dec because I know he's lying.

"No, I said I don't dance. I can dance, but I usually choose not to." He bumps me with his shoulder. "I'll dance with Miranda if she wins me."

I bump him back. "Are you saying I have to pay you to get you to dance with me?"

"Eh, maybe you can convince me to give you a freebie."

"Be careful, Randi," Logan says. "The first one is free to get you hooked."

Yeah, like I need any help with that.

Teagan pokes her head in the side room we're inhabiting.

"Finish up, guys, and get backstage. The auction is about to start."

We separate from the players, and Daphne shows me where to get a paddle to enable me to bid. Logan is taking pictures, and we choose seats at a table bordering the dance floor. The plan is for everyone to be on stage and the player up for bids will come down off the stage and join their winner for the rest of the auction. Once everyone has been claimed, then they will go do their thing. Teagan will act as auctioneer while Coach and Jake, the third owner of the team and its General Manager, will be the bid spotters. Mallory and Kendall join me and Daphne at our table with paddles.

"Who are you bidding on?" I ask Mallory. I assume Kennie is going to bid on Bedard.

Mallory sighs and rolls her eyes. "My brother. He made me promise he goes for at least as much as Stone."

Shaking my head, I chuckle. Carter is such a goof, but he's cute and charming in his own way. I'm sure there will be a bidding war.

Teagan starts the auction and Colby Alvarez is the first up for bid. He's a skilled player, but not a star. He gets a few bids, and his highest bidder is a lady in a server uniform at the dessert station. The other players all get bids. Stone ends up being bought by a group of ladies for four thousand dollars.

Bedard is next and Kennie immediately raises her paddle and yells out, "Ten thousand dollars!"

The room is silent except for Alvarez's "Damn, girl," said in his Texas drawl. At that, the room erupts in laughter and applause. Bedard comes off the stage and sweeps Kennie into his arms and gives her a thorough kiss that leaves her breathless and quite a few folks in the audience whistling.

It's Carter's turn, and he struts the stage, engaging the crowd and urging them to bid. It's going great until the bidding stalls at four thousand dollars. Apparently, tying with Stone isn't good enough, he has to earn more.

"Mallory," he shouts from the stage. She rolls her eyes and heaves a sigh as she raises her paddle. "Four thousand and one."

Teagan points at her, laughing. "We have four thousand and one dollars. From his sister. Any other bids?"

Stone calls out, "That's lame. My sister didn't have to bid on me."

Brick responds, "Because your sister was raising more money than you."

The group of couples she's sitting with sends up a cheer. Combined, they bid five thousand to win her.

"Going once…going twice…"

"Four thousand and two," comes from the back corner and Mallory sags in relief.

Trevor goes to join the male couple and I grin when I realize they were teammates of ours on the cheer team at Wickham. Neil and Byron started dating as students there and I'm happy to see they are still together. Trevor points to me and the guys wave excitedly. I wave back. I'll have to catch up with them. But first I need to win Declan.

I checked the app for my credit card, and I have an available balance of almost two thousand dollars. Dec is worth more than that, but I pray everyone else has spent their money. No way I'm using the card he gave me.

"Our last player up for bid is Declan Mackenzie, left wing. Let's start the bidding at one hundred dollars."

Dec's blue eyes dart around the room, following the flurry of bids. In seconds, the bid is fifteen hundred dollars, and I want to be sick. There's no way I can do this. He looks at me beseechingly and I bid the exact amount I have available to me. I shrug and mouth. "That's all I have."

"Two thousand dollars," comes from the table next to mine. An older woman in a leopard print gown and heavily teased black hair is waving her paddle hard enough to kick up a breeze.

Everyone's staring and my face burns as tears sting my eyes.

"Aren't you going to bid?" Daph asks.

I shake my head. "I'm tapped out."

"I saw him give you his credit card," she murmurs.

"I can't spend his money."

"I can!" She grabs my paddle. "Three thousand dollars!"

"I don't have that kind of money," I whisper hiss.

"Don't worry, he does," she assures me.

"Four," comes from the woman I now call Spot.

"Five!" Now it's Mallory waving my paddle.

"Ten!" Spot again.

Kendall gets a steely glint in her eyes. Oh, no.

"Fifteen." Kendall's bid causes gasps to go around the room.

Spot starts to raise her paddle, but a lady at her table grabs her arm as another yells in a thick North Jersey accent, "Give it up, Diane. You're making a fool of yourself."

Yeah, Diane, listen to your friends.

Teagan speeds through the closing spiel and slams her gavel. "Sold to paddle eighty."

The smile Declan gives me causes my heart to race and my face to flush. He stalks to me like the wolf he has inside him, and even though I am his prey, I am more than willing to be caught.

"Thank you," Dec says when reaches our table. He's speaking to everyone, but he is focused on me.

Declan grabs my hand. "The clock is ticking. Wanna do karaoke?"

"Yeah, sure." Honestly, I will do anything, anything, he wants. Karaoke is our thing. We always did it when I visited him at Cornell. Music is something else bonding us.

Hand in hand, we weave through the crowd.

Carter yells, "When you're done, you owe me a dance."

I wave with my free hand to acknowledge him.

The karaoke is in a lounge area as far away as possible from the band to enable the singers to be heard.

We look to see if our song is available and, when it is, add our name to the list. There is one singer in front of us and we listen to their version of "Toxic" by Britney Spears. They are having fun and that's what matters.

I've never sung in front of people I know. Why did I think this was a good idea? Oh, yeah, Declan is holding my hand. As long as he does that, I will try anything. We applaud the singer before us and climb the stage. With our connection severed, the nerves claw at me again.

"Hey," he says, looking at me with concern. "We don't have to do this if you don't want to. You never have to do anything you don't want to. I thought it would be fun."

He takes my hand again, and the butterflies flitter away.

"I'm okay," I say.

But when I face our audience and see Daphne, Mallory, and Kendall, along with their guys, smiling back at us, the butterflies return in force.

"Miranda, look at me. We've done this dozens of times. Doesn't matter who is out there, we are singing to each other. Okay?"

I nod, and Dec gives the thumbs up to start our track and the opening chords of "500 Miles" come out of the speaker. We almost always choose songs by Irish or Scottish artists and this fun song by The Proclaimers is a favorite of ours. We've worked out a duet version, and it usually gets the crowd clapping and singing along. This time is no different and by the time the song is over, a huge smile has spread across my face and I'm laughing with Dec. He gives me a big hug and spins me in a circle as our friends clap and cheer. When he puts me down, we turn and bow to the crowd—it's bigger than when we started singing—and leave the stage.

"You've sung together before," Kennie says, as she gives me a hug.

I get hugs from Mallory and Daphne while the guys do high fives and bro hugs with Dec.

Carter gives me a long hug. When he turns me loose, he holds me at arms' length, and I swear his eyes look misty.

"You never sang with me. All those parties and karaoke nights at cheer comps, you never sang a note. Why?"

Oh no. His feelings are hurt, and a pouting Trevor Carter is a Carter needing to be placated. I think it's from being the youngest child. Dec's youngest brother, Seamus, is the same way.

"I dance with you, Trev. I was going to go on a TV dance show with you. Dancing is our thing." Please, let Dec keep his mouth shut about all the times we've danced together. He must have seen my desperation because, other than raising his eyebrows, he doesn't react. Bless him.

"Can we dance together tonight? It's been years since we've danced together."

"Of course. I'd love to." It's amazing the different expressions a pair of raised eyebrows can make. Before, they were saying, "Okay, fine, I'll go along with it." Now, they are saying, "Oh, hell no."

My eyebrows aren't as chatty, but my eyes are telling him, "Suck it up, Buttercup. It's a dance, and he's my best friend."

His eye roll and sigh say it all—fine, go ahead, but you're dancing with me too.

I can't wait.