5. Harper

Chapter 5

Harper

Slowly I open my eyes and moan. It wasn’t all a nightmare. I really am in Miles’s guestroom and my house did flood. Tears form in the corners of my eyes and instead of stopping them like I did yesterday, I give in to the emotion. Soon huge sobs fall out of my body, my breath shallow and my face wet. I turn in the bed, curl up into a fetal position, and let out every frustration I suppressed yesterday.

I worked so hard to buy my house and to make it the home I always wanted and now it’s gone. Sure, Miles will help me rebuild it and it will look the same, but it won’t be the same. I know too well that things can be replaced, but they are never the same as the original. Living with a volatile parent who liked to break things taught me that lesson over and over. My mom was never violent against me, but sometimes that doesn’t matter. Scars can happen in many ways.

Thinking about my mom, something I never let myself do, just makes the tears flow faster. I turn and scream into the pillow. I don’t want Miles to hear me, but just like everything else now, I don’t get my wish.

A soft knock at the door is followed by it slowly opening. “Harper, are you okay, sweetheart?”

The concern in his voice makes me cry even harder. God, I want to go back to sleep. This is like a waking nightmare. I hate showing weakness and now I can’t seem to stop crying.

The bed dips as he sits beside me. “Harper, it’s gonna be okay. It’s all gonna be okay, I promise.” His voice reassures me and calms something deep inside. I wish I could just let myself surrender to him.

I nod but still don’t open my eyes to look at him. Maybe he’ll go away if I don’t acknowledge him in any way. My sobs slowly turn into shuddering hiccupped breaths and then stillness. Still, Miles sits beside me, not touching me or talking to me. Just being there as a steady reassurance. It’s exactly what I need.

I open my eyes and look at him. Fuck. He’s only wearing a pair of boxer briefs. He has an epic case of bedhead and has his glasses on. I’ve never seen him look sexier. I glance up and down, my eyes getting caught on the bulge not being hidden well by the tight boxer briefs. Miles is a very big man and that translates to being big everywhere. Damn.

My eyes finally make it back to his and the devilish smile on his face tells me that he didn’t miss my visual inspection. Oops. It doesn’t look like he minds though. I want to look back down and see if anything changed —ya know, down there— but I’m going to be strong and keep my eyes on his face. Yes, sir, his eyes are up there and that’s where mine will be too.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

“No,” I answer honestly. “I will be, but this morning is going a little rough and I haven’t even been out of bed.” We both laugh.

“Seems like a valid reaction to a shitty situation, sweetheart. I would be worried if you didn’t lose it at least once.”

“I certainly lost it. I’m going to take a quick shower and I’ll meet you downstairs for coffee. Then we can talk about the house. I promise I won’t turn into a blubbering mess again,” I tell him, hoping that I can keep that promise.

“Okay, I’ll meet you downstairs in about thirty minutes?” He turns to head to my door. Then turns back, “Oh, and Harps, I promise to be appropriately dressed.” With a wink, he starts to leave the room.

I feel my cheeks heat and pull the covers back. I plan to at least slam the door behind him, but I completely forgot that I went to bed naked the night before.

And now I am the one being stared at by my best friend.

“You are fucking gorgeous,” he says in the second before I unfreeze and slam the door. I stand with my back to the wood trying to hear his footsteps as he walks away, but I don’t hear anything other than my heavy breathing.

Then I hear, “I can’t keep doing this.” He isn’t saying it to me— it’s not loud enough to be for anyone but himself.

What does he mean? And why am I not panicking more at the idea of my best friend seeing my boobs?