29

Music transcends the man-made boundaries that make up this world. A concert in Poland, at its heart, feels the same as one in the US, and that realization comforts me more than I expected. Part of me was waiting to see how things could go wrong, how they'd be different , just because of the makeup of the soil under our feet and the angle of the sun in the sky.

Music is its own language—one that everyone speaks.

Energy rolls in waves from the crowd; they shriek when Eric walks onto the stage and throws his hands up. They shout our names as though we're old friends they haven't seen in ages, ready and waiting with a cold beer and a few stories to swap. Drums boom so loudly they force your pulse to match their cadence, and the earthquakes of guitar strings rattle the floor.

There's so much peace in this special brand of chaos.

Adrenaline and anarchy, serenity and release.

Tonight, the five of us are ignited, as if the music fuels our very existence. I grin as Dante and Theo play back-to-back, their fingers moving in a synchronized dance. Eric's eyes are fixed on Dmitri as he flips his drumsticks in the air, throwing Eric a cocky smirk and a playful wink before catching them, continuing to drum without skipping a beat.

The way they flirt is like a pheromone cloud as the audience explodes.

Ovaries burst on the spot.

A few confused boners probably pop.

And because he knows their effect on the crowd, Eric rushes over and grips Dmitri's soaked hair, kissing him roughly.

I'm surprised no one faints.

When the last chords are nothing more than the remnants of sound waves bouncing between the walls, we're soaked in sweat but beaming. Monica comes running over with a giant smile, but hesitates, her outstretched arms frozen in mid-air as she assesses Eric. We all chuckle as she shakes her head and puts distance between herself and his sweat-drenched body.

With the help of the security team, the vans are loaded in record time. Connor drives, so I sit in the front seat beside him, smiling when he reaches over to weave our fingers together.

Once we arrive at the hotel, we park right next to the rear entrance, so we don't have to pass through the lobby. Connor is in full protective mode, since we're not only a sweaty spectacle but also dressed for the concert. Leather, ripped denim, and band shirts mean more attention, and none of us are complaining about keeping a low profile.

Ever the gentleman, Connor even climbs out to open my car door before buzzing us into the building with his keycard.

Upstairs, Eric and Dmitri have crashed hard and stumble into their room without so much as a goodnight, while Theo tosses up a quick wave, letting Dante lead him into theirs. My head swivels, a slight frown tugging on my lips.

"He went to park the vans and do a perimeter check," Aaron says from beside me, offering me a tentative smile. In the time we've been travelling, he has barely said more than a few words to me. "Yelled at me to keep an eye on you until he got up here."

I snort a laugh and roll my eyes. "Chivalrous fucker," I say with a fond smile, and Aaron's discomfort eases.

"Jugs has been my trainer for years now, and I've never seen him like this."

"What, he isn't normally so overly polite and protective of his… girlfriends?" I trip on the word, even knowing I'm his first male partner. Aaron doesn't catch my hesitation, though, and just shakes his head.

"In the time I have known him, he hasn't mentioned a girlfriend… or, uh, boyfriend." He adds the last part in a rush, and I chuckle. He's trying.

"What about his ex?" I shouldn't pry into his past, should wait to ask him these questions, but my exhaustion and my curiosity get the better of me.

Aaron scrunches his brows, which makes his baby face appear even younger. "Who, Beth? They'd been separated for so long I never saw them as a couple. They're best friends, and he loves her..."

Oh, hello jealousy.

It's been a minute.

"… but not like that. Not anymore." Okay, maybe the green-eyed monster can take a chill pill. "Nah, man, I've always imagined he'd be a generous partner."

My eyebrows fly up, parroting him in surprise. "A generous partner? You've given that some thought, have you?"

His cheeks tinge pink, and he's looking at the walls, the floor… anywhere but at me. "No, not that I've… imagined… that was a bad choice of words." He groans a curse, putting his head in his hands as he huffs a laugh. "Sorry, man. I'm still a little star-struck by you guys, and it's making my brain malfunction. Ignore me."

"So, just to clarify here… you haven't been imagining my boyfriend as a romantic partner?" I ask, brows hiked as he flushes a darker pink. What began as a joke has turned into possessiveness, because he looks an awful lot like a man with a crush right now. Suddenly, I remember Eric's words about Aaron being into Connor, and the way he leaned in to their conversation.

My stomach flips with something ugly.

Aaron stutters on, digging his hole even deeper. "I mean, come on, I'm not going to lie to you… look at the guy! Anyone who's met him has thought about…" He clamps his mouth shut, wide eyes slamming into mine as I take a small step closer.

"He belongs to me," I snap, surprising myself with the possessive growl in my voice. "No looking. No imagining. And definitely no…"

"Tai?" Worry lines Connor's face as he steps up beside me. Snarl on my lips, I grab his shirt and yank him into a kiss, my eyes never leaving Aaron's. Connor happily gives in, wrapping his arms around my waist and drawing me to him, his lips moving with mine.

He offers me a soft smile as we separate, but my attention is still zeroed in on Aaron. " No touching."

His hands are up, palms facing me, as he retreats and shakes his head. "Wouldn't dream of it, man." He disappears into his room before I can say another word.

Connor's nose nuzzles against my ear and makes me shiver. "What was that about?"

My emotions—and my hormones—are all over the place as I drag his mouth back to mine. "Stay with me tonight," I whisper against his lips, and he breaks away to look at me, eyes searching mine.

"You said you wanted to take it slow," he points out, his words careful, although I catch the way his breathing quickens.

"Yeah, well, I'm an idiot sometimes. When I say stupid shit like that, it's best not to pay attention to me." When he doesn't laugh, only watches me in deep thought, I sigh. "Nothing has to happen… I just want to be with you."

"Right," he drawls, with an exaggerated nod. "Because you and me sleeping in the same room, completely alone, is exactly how ‘nothing' happens. Your logic is flawed, sweetheart."

A wave of insecurity hits me, and I force a swallow, trying to take a step back. Connor's persistent hold keeps me in place, his head cocked and that little wrinkle between his brows. Awkwardly, I pat his chest as my gaze falls to the ground. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't… just because I'm being a territorial asshole doesn't mean I should push you. That's not fair to you."

"You're being territorial? That's a sight I'd pay to see," he teases, but my smile is a weak flutter of my lips, because he's dodging the subject, and that feels a lot like rejection.

"Can we rewind a minute and forget I mentioned it? Please? It's been a long day, and we're both tired, and I'm not going to force you to spend time—"

"Whoa, whoa, hang on, now." He grips my chin and tilts me to face him. "What's this, huh? This talk about forcing me to spend time with you?"

My lip wobbles, just a bit, and his concern deepens as I try to stop it. "It's nothing—"

"Tai," he scolds, and the tremble starts right back up. "We don't lie to each other, and this isn't nothing. Please tell me what's wrong so I can help. Have I done something to make you feel insecure?"

"No, you haven't done anything. It's me… Aaron made a comment about how everyone that met you imagined what you'd be like as a partner, and then when I asked you to stay…"

"Wait," he interrupts, and a smile tears across his face. "You're jealous of Aaron ? Of that scatterbrained meathead?" He throws his head back and belts out a gunshot laugh that ricochets through the hallway.

"I'm glad you're entertained," I hiss, swatting at his stupidly big pecs and pushing, trying to weasel my way from his grip. He only laughs louder as my cheeks burn. "It's not funny!"

Traces of his smile remain on his face as he lowers it, the silver streaks above his ears highlighted by the overhead lights. "There's no one but you," he says, voice serious even as his eyes sparkle with humor. "Since that night, there's been no one but you. Not on my mind… not touching my body. It's always been yours, sweetheart—every piece of me."

"And as for my hesitation to spend the night with you… in your bed… in your arms… " He crowds me until my back thunks against the wall. "I am trying to be a gentleman here, Tai, but you make it so very hard," he murmurs, nuzzling my nose with his.

I've never been as shaken by another man as I am with him. His imposing size… his impossible strength. The fact that he could so easily hurt me but chooses to be so fucking gentle with me. He treats me like I'm precious; not fragile or breakable, but priceless. Underneath all that muscle, he's soft and tender.

Hopelessly romantic.

Powerful hands capable of so many destructive things glide like silk over my skin as he forces me to look at him, holding my chin steady as he presses a forceful kiss on my lips. My entire body responds, arching against him and giving in to the magnetism.

It's terrifying and electrifying, and I never want it to end.

Dante's voice hisses, "Would you let go already?" We both startle and turn to where Theo hangs off the doorframe, Dante attempting to pull him into their room. "Man, I really don't want to see Jugs involved in the things they are about to do. Eye bleach isn't strong enough to kill that mental picture."

"But—" Theo whines, and then they disappear with the slam of a door.

Connor is wide-eyed as he looks at me. We burst out laughing at the same time before he rests his forehead against mine. "I'm sorry," I whisper, palms sliding up his chest to rest over his heart, "this isn't like me."

"It's okay to turn it off sometimes, Tai." He kisses me on the nose with a small smile. "You are allowed to lose your cool with me. Now, give me a second, alright?" He walks towards his room and pops his head inside, oblivious to the bomb he just dropped on me as I swipe at my damp eyes.

"If you're looking for me, I'll be with Tai." A pause. "Yeah, all night." A sharp wolf-whistle follows him into the hall as he shuts the door, his face beet red as he pulls his smile between his teeth, dimples forming in his cheeks even as he tries to hide it.

"Do you mind if I grab a shower?" I ask as we close ourselves inside the room. Grimy from the sweat, I also want a moment to clear my head.

"Go ahead," he says, pressing a soft kiss to my temple. "Do you need anything?"

"Some water?"

"I'll grab a few bottles while you get cleaned up." Hot water beats over my muscles as I climb in, my soaked clothing forgotten in a heap as I relax. Once I'm done washing, I wrap a towel around my waist and brush my teeth, then realize I've not brought any clean clothes in with me.

Will he think I'm being pushy if I walk out like this?

Fuck, when did this get so awkward? When did I start overthinking everything? It's not like I wasn't shirtless the entire time we were at the resort.

So, I'm half naked? No big deal.

As I crack the door, his voice reaches me from the bed. Nosey fucker, I scold myself as I freeze and listen.

"You're going to get me in trouble, acting a fool," he mutters, and I frown. "Swear to God, it's like I'm fucking fifteen again."

My frown flips into a grin as I poke my head through the door, choking back my amusement. "Hey Connor?"

There's a long pause before he clears his throat and asks, "Yes?"

"Are you talking to your penis?"

A sigh. "Yes." I laugh as I walk out, my embarrassment forgotten as I spot his sheepish face. But then my eyes drift over his body, and the laughter dies on my lips.

Shirtless, his hairy, muscled chest is on full display as he leans against the headboard. Gray athletic shorts do nothing to hide the erection that strains underneath them, and the heel of his palm pushes against the root like he's trying to suppress it.

I take my fill of his beautiful body, admiring every dip and curve as I approach. "Now, why would you try to get rid of that?" His eyes drop to my towel, where the bulge of my cock presses into the white cloth.

His throat bobs as he swallows, and another pulse of need at my core has me thickening further. "Didn't want to pressure you," he finally rasps, and I grin as I crawl over the mattress on my knees, the towel barely clinging to my body. When I hesitate, he instantly notices. "What is it, sweetheart?"

"Last time we were together, we didn't even stop to consider a condom." He flushes but holds my eyes and nods. "After… everything… I went and got tested."

"After you thought I was having an affair with you," he corrects, and I nod.

"Everything was negative on my end."

His smile is sweet as he pulls me closer for a kiss. "You're the only person I've been with since my last checkup, and everything was negative for me as well. If you're more comfortable using a condom, that's fine. Hell, if you're more comfortable not doing anything at all, that's fine, too."

My eyes shift down to his lap, where his cock pushes against his shorts. My finger slides up the prominent ridge, and it flexes underneath my touch. "I think we both know that's not going to happen, Connor." I lean back and his eyes slide down my body to where the bulge under my towel is still very eager. "Can I take your shorts off?" I slide my fingers under the waistband.

"Please," he murmurs, and I shudder, remembering how he begs. His hips rise as I pull down his shorts, leaving him in nothing but sky-blue briefs.

A small spot darkens the fabric, and I press my thumb against it, pre-cum stretching between us as I lift it away. "Still trying to be a gentleman, Connor?" Our gazes lock as I lean closer, my lips brushing against the tip of his cock. An immediate moan escapes his throat as his hips twitch, the material pulled taut over his erection.

The fabric catches as I glide my tongue over it, exploring every inch of his shaft before finally taking the head into my mouth. "Holy shit, I've missed you," he gasps as I smile around him, sucking gently. Untamed, needy moans crawl from his throat as I alternate between sucking and licking, and when I pull away, the material is drenched, almost transparent.

"Let's get these out of the way, why don't we?" I tug at his underwear, stretching them over his round ass before he's finally gloriously naked. His abs and thighs ripple with tension as I glide my fingers across them, playfully tugging on the strands of his dark hair.

"No one has touched you?" I ask, purposefully avoiding his cock, and he shakes his head frantically. "What about you, chippoke? Have you touched yourself and thought about me?"

"Only a few times," he says, and I pause at the guilty expression on his face. "I didn't… deserve to feel good after leaving you, but fuck, Tai, my body wanted you so badly." His confession sends a ripple through my chest, a sharp stab of sadness from my part in making him feel unworthy.

"You always deserve to feel good," I whisper, pushing my nose into the hair at the base of his cock before licking up the underside of his shaft. "Hey, Connor?" His eyes meet mine, heavy with want. "There's been no one else for me either." I take in all of him at once, and the instant my mouth surrounds him, his cries are so loud that I'm certain these flimsy walls don't contain it.

Every time I move my lips, he responds, a soft moan coming from his throat and his hips lifting off the bed. They don't mindlessly slam into me, though; they roll in a smooth way that lights me up, picturing those hips rolling like the ocean while he rides me.

"You feel too good," he groans as I grip his balls, massaging them between my fingers. "Too good, it's too fucking good. Get inside me, sweetheart, I need you inside me."

I pull off him long enough to ask, "You want me to finger you?" and he nods again, head jerking up and down, lips parted and eyes fluttering closed.

Spit runs in a river over his taint and wets his hole, so I slide my finger to circle his rim, wetting him before pushing against his entrance. "Yes, that's what I want… just like that," he moans, and my finger slips inside him. He clenches, squeezing around me as I give a few lazy pumps.

I release his cock, letting it fall against his skin with a wet slap. "God, I always loved how needy you are, sweet boy. You're still so tight. Has anything been inside you since me?"

"No," he grunts as I slip knuckle deep.

"Not fingers or toys? You didn't fuck yourself thinking about me?"

"Nothing."

"Is it because I hurt you?" I ask, voice quiet, and his eyes fly open and find mine.

"No, no, no… I wanted the pain… wanted to know that you'd been inside me. For days, every time I sat down, I felt you there. No, sweetheart, I loved the way it hurt. It reminded me of what I missed… what I lost." He pushes down on my finger, taking me further as he moans again. "But you aren't lost to me anymore, and I want you more than I've ever wanted anything in my life. Give me more, please?"

I pull his cock back into my mouth as I add a second finger to his tight hole, and he bucks off the bed. He's not ready to be fucked, despite what he says.

Despite what we did that night.

My fingers stretch him as I suck, using my tongue to explore every ridge and vein as they pump in and out of him. "F-f-fuck, Tai," he pants, clenching around me as his body tenses. "I won't last like this… I'll come if you don't stop."

I suck up and off him again. "Do you want to come, Connor?" I sink my fingers deeper, finding his prostate, and he wails and throws his head back as pre-cum leaks from his slit. "Is this how you want to go?"

Another thrust, and for a moment, I think I've lost him with the way he tenses, teeth grinding and hole pulsing around my fingers.

I've never seen anything quite so magnificent.