22

If I thought it was incredible seeing Tai at karaoke, it is nothing compared to watching him on that stage. His skin is a canvas for the shifting colors of the lights, which paint him in shades of red, blue, and green. Out of them, blue is my favorite.

Blue is ocean horizons and rainstorms, blueberries and saltwater. It's tranquility, stillness, and peace.

It's him.

He's hypnotizing, and I can't tear my eyes from him. Bruce's voice reaches me from my left, but I simply nod, blindly agreeing to his latest idea. Whatever it is, he'll figure it out, with or without my input.

Right now, nothing could take my focus away from Tai.

How am I going to fix my mistakes? Get him to sit down with me and listen— actually listen—to what I have to say? My biggest regret in life is leaving that resort without him by my side, and I understand why he doesn't want to talk to me anymore.

I don't blame him.

I was terrified of what I felt for him. Scared shitless that he would steamroll over my heart and leave me broken into so many pieces that I could never recover.

Instead, I'm the one that broke him. I ran, like a fucking coward.

He has every right to hate me.

Had we known each other's identities from the beginning, neither of us would've acted on the insane attraction we shared. My friendship with Dante would have stopped us from pursuing each other. If a relationship had failed to work out, the chances of running into each other and causing a division of loyalties would have been too risky.

But that's not what happened.

We didn't know, and we never learned.

By the end, if we had just unraveled the truth, neither of us would have been able to let go of each other—of that much, I am certain. A thousand tiny decisions, if made differently, could have prevented this whole mess from happening.

We wouldn't be nursing two halves of a broken heart.

What a fucking cruel twist of fate.

My eyes scan the audience before returning to the band. With his powerhouse vocals, Eric commands the stage, his rough voice projecting to even the farthest corners of the venue. He barely needs a microphone. I track him while he jumps around the stage, then he runs over to Tai and they grin at each other. Eric grips his shoulder and leans close, sharing the mic while Tai joins in a series of harmonics that give me goosebumps.

"They're good, huh?" Aaron moves closer to be heard over the blaring music. "I still cannot get over the fact that my boxing coach is friends with Falling Absent, man. They've been one of my favorites for years."

"I never listened to them before now." He stares at me like I've admitted to murder. "But yeah," I say, my eyes locked on Tai again, "they're incredible."

They play for two hours, and as they leave the stage, their clothes cling to their sweaty bodies. Exhaustion and exhilaration battle on their faces and for a split second, Tai looks at peace. The staff at the venue rushes to assist them in breaking down their instruments, and we jump in to help.

Two large vans were chartered to accommodate the band, my team, Monica, and the equipment, and they're outside in a private loading dock. After we finish packing, the band members pile into the vehicle parked in front, Dante carrying the keys.

Seeing my opportunity, I turn to Bruce and Aaron and gesture towards the second van. "Someone needs to ride with the band, so I'm jumping in with them. You guys load up with Monica in the other—Bruce, you're driving." I toss him the keyring, which he snatches with a one-handed catch.

"Not fair," Aaron whines, but Bruce smacks the back of his head and grunts at him to get moving.

Dante takes the driver's seat with Theo beside him in the front, while Eric and Dmitri join them in the middle and Tai settles in the third row. Dmitri reaches to close the door, so I rush over and stop him. "Hold up!" I shout, and he tilts his head at me as I grab the handle and let myself in the van. "Thanks."

With the grace of a bull being freed from its chute, I squeeze into the back and drop next to Tai, turning to find his jaw almost touching the ground as I buckle my seatbelt. "What are you doing?" he hisses, enunciating every word.

"My job. If I'm doing it correctly, there should always be one of us riding with you guys."

"It doesn't have to be you. There isn't room for your giant ass back here."

I glance at the two feet of space separating us and gesture towards it. "There's plenty of room."

"Well, I don't want you here."

Theo whips around from the passenger seat, gawking. "Tai! Why are you being mean to Jugs?"

Tai's face reddens, and he shifts his gaze, unable to meet anyone's eyes. "I'm not. I just don't understand why we need security. We've been managing without it this whole time."

"Still, there's no reason to be rude," Theo pushes, his tone firm, and as much as I appreciate the backup, he is only making things worse by embarrassing Tai. "He's here to help, and you're not being very nice. This isn't like you, Tai, what's going—"

"Don't stress it, Theo," I interrupt. "Tensions are high, and everyone is tired from the show… which was incredible, by the way." My words have their intended effect, and the focus of the conversation shifts from Tai's bad mood to the concert.

It's almost comical how he contorts his body away from me, avoiding eye contact and huddling against the side of the van while staring outside the window. I want to reach over and touch him, take one of those long, slender hands in mine, but I'm aware of what his reaction would be right now.

He'd either scream at me or attack me—maybe both—and then everyone would be asking questions. That wouldn't earn me any points with him.

"Jugs, you got the schedule memorized for tomorrow?" Dante asks, eyeballing me in the rear-view mirror.

"Yes, boss," I tease, and he rolls his eyes at me. "Flight leaves at ten, and we'll be in the air somewhere between ten and eleven hours, which will have us landing in Warsaw around four a.m. local time."

Dante nods as he merges into traffic. "Your guys got their passports squared away?"

"Oh, did they need a passport?" I ask, and his eyes bug out in the mirror. A quiet huff of a laugh comes from beside me, and I smile as I glance at Tai. As soon as he realizes I heard him, his face returns to a scowl, and he curls back into his little ball.

He's like an angry little kitten, claws out and hissing.

"Yeah," I say, returning my gaze to Dante, "we got our passports. Don't have an aneurism, please."

"I'll give you an aneurism," he mutters under his breath, and I chuckle.

"Oh, please, Dante. When's the last time you took me down?" He tries to glare at me, but there's humor in his eyes. Dante is a tough man to read, but I've learned his tells over the years.

"I've made you bleed a few times."

Remembering the occasions when he has outmaneuvered me, my smile widens. "That only means I trained you properly."

Theo whips around with his signature wolfish grin. "Hey, Jugs, I know a few moves that can take a man to his knees. I'd be willing to give you a demonstration if you need it." He gives me an obnoxious wink that makes me roll my eyes.

Troublemaker.

A quiet scoff has me turning to look at Tai, finding him glaring at Theo like Dante. Once again, when he realizes I noticed, he turns to the window. The rest of the drive is uneventful, everyone settling into their own private conversations.

When we get to the hotel, I wait for Eric and Dmitri to exit the van and then take my time climbing out. I hold the door open for Tai, who ducks under my arm and tries to dodge past me. He freezes when I grab his wrist with a gentle grip.

"Are you ready to talk yet?" I'm quiet enough that no one else overhears. He doesn't look at me, just shakes his head.

"Will you at least consider it? Not tonight, but when you've had a chance to process?" He still doesn't meet my eyes, but this time he shrugs.

"If I buy you breakfast in the morning, are you going to throw it at me again?"

"Probably," he whispers.

"Will it make you feel better?"

His eyes finally land on mine. "No, Connor, it won't. No matter how cute you try to be or how much you pretend to care, it doesn't change the reality of what happened."

It hurts my heart knowing that he believes what we shared was fake. That he thinks I could ever feign the type of connection we had.

The connection we have .

"It's not pretending, sweetheart. Of course I care."

"Don't call me that." As he yanks his arm away, I let out a resigned sigh and fall in step beside him, matching his pace as we walk towards the hotel. "Stop following me."

"We're going to the same hotel, where our rooms are literal feet from each other. Where else would you like me to walk?"

"Anywhere but beside me… maybe off the side of a cliff." I sigh but say nothing. We get inside the lobby and stand in tense silence as we wait for the elevator. It opens and Tai walks in, then spins around and places his hand on my chest.

He leans closer and my heart pounds as his gaze meets mine, those dark eyes full of something I can't read. "What are you doing?" My voice is deeper than I intend, and I don't miss the way his gaze flickers to my lips.

For a second, he stays like this, then he pushes me with a strength that shocks me as he retreats into the elevator. "Get your own ride," he snarls as the doors close, cutting me off from him.

"Oh, no you don't," I mutter, turning to the stairs. Cardio is not my friend, but I dig into my energy stores and sprint up to the fifth floor as fast as I can, taking the steps two at a time. Wheezing and sweaty, I burst through the door and stand in front of the elevator with my arms crossed.

As soon as I get in position, the doors slide open and Tai steps out, barreling straight into me. "Oh, what the fuck?!"

"I wasn't done with you yet." My rasping breath makes my stance less effective, but at least I can speak.

"Yeah, except you are. You're done with me."

"No, I'm not." I shake my head, stepping closer as he backs up and collides with the closed metal doors of the elevator. "This? Me and you?" My finger waves back and forth between us. "This isn't over, Tai. We aren't finished. Now, I'll give you time, but eventually, you will talk to me, and we will figure this out."

"There's nothing to figure out."

"Stop being so fucking stubborn," I snap, my patience running thin. "All this anger and animosity? This isn't you. This isn't us."

"You never even knew me." That obstinate chin lifts in defiance, and the only thing I want to do is lean down and kiss it. "And there was never an us."

"Oh, sweetheart, we both know that isn't true."

"Yeah, well," he says, ducking around me and walking towards his room. "You might've known me, but I sure as shit didn't know you. You made sure of that."

"Tai—"

"Goodnight, Jugs, " he calls over his shoulder, and then his door slams closed, and his locks click into place.