20

"Are we there yet?" Aaron whines from the passenger seat, and I grip the steering wheel tighter as I rein in my temper.

"Does it look like we're there?" I ask, teeth gritted. I love these guys, but I was not prepared for seven hours in the car with them. "Are we at a restaurant right now?"

The dumbass glances out the window. "No."

"Okay, then. That answers your question."

Bruce chuckles and claps me on the shoulder, and I glare at him in the rearview mirror. "Brother, you sound like me with that temper. Where's all that renowned Jugs patience that everyone adores?"

Lost on the Carolina coast , I think, but I just shake my head. "The drive has been long, and I'm hungry. Sorry, Aaron," I add, but he waves me off.

When Dante asked if I'd be interested in providing security for this tour, I was honored, even if he did it more for my sake than his own. It doesn't take a genius to realize that something's been wrong with me.

I'm not an idiot. I saw it for what it was.

A lifeline… an opportunity to occupy my time and get a much-needed escape from my stress. Travel with his band, explore new places, and hopefully break free from this rut I find myself in.

I tried to argue that my expertise lies in self -defense, not protective services, but he assured me he had confidence in my ability to handle it and gave me the freedom to pick my team. Bruce, a former special forces operative with extensive experience, was the obvious choice to bring along for the ride. Aaron is a bit of a dumbass, but he's one of the best athletes I've ever trained. Given that he also blindly follows orders, Bruce guaranteed he could keep him in line.

One's a grumpy genius, the other a cheerful idiot.

And I've been driving with them for seven… long… hours.

We endure the aggravating stop-and-go traffic for the rest of the drive, and by the time we finally pull into the restaurant, my nerves are completely shot. Once we climb out of the SUV, I stretch my limbs, glad to be out of the cramped vehicle and away from Aaron's incessant chatting. We step inside and I approach the hostess. "We're meeting a group here."

"The band?" she asks, and I nod. She motions for us to come along, guiding us into a hidden room tucked away in the rear of the restaurant. A brunette woman meets my eyes with a friendly smile, and Dante approaches with a grin. Even now, after years of being his boxing coach, it's hard to associate the beaten man who showed up on my doorstep years ago with the confident man and accomplished musician he has become. Bruce and Aaron fall behind me, letting me take the lead.

"Jugs?!" Theo shrieks, jumping on my back as I laugh, awkwardly trying to greet the others while he holds on to me like a spider monkey.

Dante grins mischievously at his fiancé riding me like a backpack. "I take it you didn't share the plan with him?" I ask.

"I might've forgotten to mention it." He pulls Theo off me, setting him on his feet.

"You… ass !" Theo hisses, slapping at Dante as we both laugh. "How dare you not tell me that one of my favorite people was coming along on our trip?"

"Let me introduce Bruce and Aaron," I say, bringing them both forward and letting them shake hands. Dante knows their backgrounds extensively, because we've had several conversations over the past couple of months in preparation. I watch them chat, and a bittersweet sensation washes over me—a familiar ache that occasionally resurfaces. This close to the ocean, memories of Tai sweep through my mind, no matter how hard I try to keep them subdued.

There are moments when it feels like he's right here beside me.

Dante snaps me out of it when he says, "The band is anxious to meet you. I'll take you guys around and introduce you to everyone." He leads us over to two tall, well-built men who seem better suited for working in a security detail than needing one. One is blonde wearing a half-scowl, the other dark-haired with a giant, friendly grin. They're introduced as Eric and Dmitri Woodard.

I nod my hello and reach out to shake hands. "These are the two that just got married then, yeah?" Dmitri's smile is blinding as Eric nods, squeezing his hand, and another pang of longing hits me. Bruce and Aaron make quick introductions, and Dante leads us across the room. I fall to the back of the group as I rub at my chest, losing myself to my memories.

"… our keyboardist and backup singer." Dante's words catch my attention again as we approach a slender man staring out a window. He has dark hair, and his tight, ripped jeans are tucked into a clunky pair of black combat boots. Everyone crowds in front of me and blocks my view as he turns to face the group.

"This is Bruce and Aaron…" Dante says, and they both shake his hand and then move aside, making room for me to step forward.

My entire world wavers when cognac eyes land on mine.

The same eyes that have haunted me for months.

"Connor?" Tai whispers, and all I can do is stare as I drink him in. He's lost weight, his eyes sunken, and his hair… his beautiful, flowing hair is gone, replaced by a cut that's buzzed on the sides and longer on top. He steps backward and stumbles against the wall, and I can't help it as I reach for him.

Dante's heavy hand lands on my shoulder, and I glimpse his frown out of the corner of my eye. "No, this is Jugs."

Legend has long shared stories about moments that freeze time. Singular instances in life where the world ceases its movement, and everything halts to a standstill.

This is one of those instances.

Time sputters to a stop as I watch the pungent series of emotions that flicker through Tai's eyes. Shock fades to comprehension, which is soon replaced by raw, barren hurt.

Betrayal.

"Tai," I finally say, and he flinches. He flinches like I struck him, and fuck, if my heart doesn't break further.

"It's nice to meet you." His eyes fall to the ground, voice cracking and breath coming in abrupt inhales. "Excuse me." Dante's forehead furrows in deeper confusion as Tai pushes past us, giving me a wide berth.

"Sorry." Dante's eyes trail after Tai as he darts through the doors. "He's been going through some stuff and hasn't been himself recently. Give him time, and he will warm up to you." My stomach bottoms out at his words.

Hasn't been himself…

Because of me.

Because of what I did to him.

I should know, because I haven't been myself either. Not since I left his side.

My heart jumps straight into my throat and I try to swallow around the beating, my hand moving to my neck, willing it to slow. Aaron gives me a sideways glance, but I'm too busy keeping my breathing in check to care.

"Won't have much of a choice," Bruce says with a laugh, unaware that anything is wrong. "We'll be crammed like sardines in a can for a while."

My every instinct is urging me to go after Tai, to do what I should've done months ago, and before long, I stop fighting the temptation. "Excuse me," I say, mirroring his words without realizing it. "I forgot something in the car. I'll be right back." Not waiting for a response, I follow.

My eyes dart around the main part of the restaurant, but he is nowhere in sight. I move my search outside, a wave of heat rolling over me, and glimpse a shoulder peeking out from behind the corner of the building.

Rocks crunch under my feet as I approach, and I brace myself for the impending explosion as his shoulders tense. "Go away," he whispers, and a lump forms in my throat as I step around the corner and find him wilted against the wall. His eyes bore into the ground, and my urge to wrap him up in my arms is so strong that I shake with the need.

"Tai—"

"Go away!" He whirls to face me as he roars. " Go! Away!" His palms slam into my shoulders with each word, but I don't budge.

"Not until you give me a chance to explain." A sob catches in his throat, the sound a blade through my heart.

"There is nothing to explain," he snarls, even as a tear slips from his eye. I reach to wipe it away and he jerks backward, fury contorting his face.

"Please, just hear me out."

"Did you know?" His wet eyes fly up to mine, and the pain in them is almost too much to handle. "Did you know I'd be here? Did you know who I was the whole fucking time?"

"No, of course not." I shake my head and take a half step closer. "I thought I'd never see you again." I realize too late how my words sound, and another flash of hurt in his eyes is quickly incinerated by his anger.

"Yeah, that would've been a hell of a lot easier for you, wouldn't it? Sorry I ruined your plans."

"That's not—"

"You are cruel." His voice carries a venom I've never heard, and I wince like he slapped me. "What you did to me was cruel . What was I? Some sick fucking experiment? A way to fuck around without having to worry about the consequences?"

"No," I start, but he interrupts.

"Was I anything to you?" he shouts, then shakes his head before I can even open my mouth. "Never mind. I don't want the answer. We're done here."

"Tai." He dodges past me and rushes around the corner. "Tai!" I shout, running after him and grabbing his wrist. "Stop walking away from me."

"Oh, that's rich coming from you," he says with a laugh devoid of any humor. "At least I had the decency to tell you I was leaving, which is more than you ever did for me. Let go of me."

"I can't," I whisper, and he snarls, ripping his arm from my grip. For a few heartbeats, he just glares, lips twitching with unsaid words that never come. He pivots and walks into the restaurant. Puffs of breath escape my mouth like I ran a marathon, and my fingers clutch at my chest, clawing at the source of the splintering pain.

I deserved that… deserved every word he just hurled at me.

My forehead slumps against the wall, and then the anger becomes too big, too explosive, to hold inside. I pound my palms on the unforgiving bricks, the memory of each stupid decision and wrong move fueling my fury as I slam my hands harder, and I don't stop until they're red and raw.

Pain shoots through my hands as I squeeze them into fists, and I close my eyes and force myself to calm. I can figure this out. I just need to convince him to talk to me, and losing my temper won't help.

When I make my way back inside, Tai has surrounded himself with his bandmates, his gaze fixed on the table. I find an empty seat next to Aaron and sink into it, mechanically ordering my drink and food when the server arrives. Throughout the entire meal, Tai doesn't even glance in my direction, and he barely touches his dinner, simply pushing it around on his plate.

My eyes move over his sunken cheeks, and I clench my jaw. He needs to eat.

Everyone laughs and chats, getting acquainted with each other, but all I do is steal glances at the man who's consumed my thoughts ever since he walked into my life. We gather our things and get ready to leave for the hotel, and his eyes finally shift and meet mine.

I'll fix this , I try to project to his mind. I'll make it right.

That prominent Adam's apple bobs as he swallows, and then he turns so abruptly he collides with Eric. Jealousy flares in my gut as Eric slides an arm over Tai's shoulders, his familiar touch intimate. His lips mouth, "You okay?" and Tai nods, staring at the floor. Eric glances up and finds me watching them. Full of suspicion, he narrows his eyes, and I force myself to look away.

The band loads up in their limo, and we pile back into our rented SUV to drive to the hotel. By the time we get checked in and find our rooms, the others are nowhere to be found.

Dante shows up at my door a few minutes later, pointing out who is in each room before saying goodnight. Bruce and Aaron swing by to discuss our schedule for tomorrow, but I'm distracted.

My mind keeps drifting across the hall to the room where Tai is upset and alone. Eventually, my team goes back to their own rooms, and the minutes tick away as I stare at my phone. The line of undelivered text messages taunts me until I can't take it anymore.

I walk out into the hallway and gently knock on his door. There's no answer, not even a sound, but I sense his presence on the other side. "I know you're there, and I understand you don't want to talk to me." For a moment, I don't speak, waiting for a response that will never come. "All I'm asking for is a chance to explain. I don't expect you to forgive me, but I am begging you to listen to what I have to say."

For several minutes, I wait, slumped against his door. "Alright," I whisper, emotion catching in my throat. "Goodnight, then." Closing my eyes to fight the sting behind them, I admit defeat and shuffle into my room, where I stare at the wall for the rest of the night.