10

A soft snore rumbles in my ear, which forces a giddy smile onto my face before I even open my eyes.

Sunlight reaches through the window, dragging me into consciousness and coaxing me to get my day started. Tai snuggles against me, sound asleep, his warm breath tickling my neck as his leg drapes over my hip.

It's tempting to stay here forever, wrapped up in him.

I'm an early riser. The serene stillness of morning has always allowed me moments of reflection before the chaos of the day consumes everything, and today is no different.

Today, I need it more than usual.

My head twists, and I nuzzle my nose into Tai's hair, into his intoxicating sweetness, and it makes me pull him into an even tighter hug. A sweet little hum leaves his throat as he cuddles closer, and my chest is strangely tight at how natural it is to have him in my arms like this.

Last night was… incredible.

A fucking awakening.

Throughout my entire life, I've never experienced such a strong physical response to another person. Never thought I'd die if they didn't touch me, or that I'd splinter into pieces without their arms to bind me.

It's as terrifying as it is beautiful.

From the very start, he told me our time together would be limited to this week. He set his boundaries, loud and clear, but my brain is betraying me, weaving a tale of what-ifs and convincing me I can change his mind.

What if we could make it work?

What if this was more?

We both have our own lives, and it wouldn't be fair to demand sacrifices from either of us. But after a lifetime of putting aside my own desires, giving and giving for the benefit of others, my selfish heart is insisting that I take what I want.

And it wants him. Is he like me, wondering if we could give it a shot?

What if we at least tried?

What fucking if?

Overwhelmed, I slide my arms from their spot around Tai and slip out of bed. Right now, I need my routine to clear my head. Today is going to be busy, and unless I regain focus, there will be no hiding the broken heart I'll be wearing on my sleeve.

For the first time I can remember, routine doesn't help. As much as I try to exercise away my confusion, all it does is twist my mind even more. By the time I'm finished and heading back up to our room, I'm even more confused than I was before I came down.

The notion of falling for someone you've known for days is ludicrous. It's illogical, and fantastical, and utterly ridiculous. Until five days ago, I would've turned my nose up at the idea and laughed it out of the room.

And now?

Now, I'm not so sure.

Tai realizes something is wrong—I can see it in the careful way he looks at me as I come in from the gym, sweaty and carrying his coffee and breakfast.

Cautious eyes watch me before he stands, taking the food from my hands and placing it on the table before sliding his arms around my middle and hugging me.

"Was last night too much?"

No, I want to say; No, it wasn't enough, and that's the problem. Instead, I break my promise and do the one thing we swore not to do with each other. I tell him I'm fine, that I'm hungry from my workout, and that everything is great.

I lie.

And then I seal that lie with a deep kiss, still tasting the bitterness of it on my tongue.

He doesn't believe me—of course he doesn't, because I'm a terrible liar. But he lets me pretend, and he pretends right along beside me.

The fantasy continues, intact.

We eat breakfast and spend the morning relaxing next to the water, the silent moments heavier than the previous days. After lunch, we get dragged into the wedding to-dos for the day, and I simultaneously love and hate the distraction.

We meet up with Cho, Andrew, and the rest of the party. Hours are spent reviewing where everyone has to stand, and what music cues to listen for, and on, and on, and on.

My only task is to escort a bridesmaid down the aisle and remain upright at the front with a smile on my face until the ceremony is done. Why we need to practice this for three hours—one hundred and eighty fucking minutes—is beyond me, but by the time the bride and groom are satisfied, my legs ache from standing all day and I'm cranky.

"Okay everyone!" Cho shouts, still as chipper as she was when we first got started. "The restaurant is delivering dinner shortly, so just hang around while we get a table ready."

"Do we have to?" A quiet voice whispers from behind me, and I whirl to find Tai with a guarded smile. Despite my conflicted feelings, an instant sense of calm overtakes me with him nearby. His presence soothes my entire body, the strain releasing from my tense shoulders.

"I think we'd get in trouble if we snuck away."

"Just for a few minutes?" He pushes his bottom lip out in his best pout as I groan under my breath. "I'll make it worth your while." With that, he turns and heads towards the door that leads to a small patio, not even stopping to check if I'm following him.

I am, if that was ever a question.

Of course I am.

The sun blinds me as I walk outside, and as I blink against the light, a hand latches to my wrist and tugs. Once we're around the corner, Tai pushes me against the wall and locks his hands behind my neck. "I've wanted to do this all day." He pulls me closer. Inches from his mouth, he freezes, eyes searching mine. "Is this okay?"

His uncertainty breaks the last of my resolve. "Shut up and kiss me," I whisper, closing that last bit of distance. Every time our lips meet, something inside me settles, as if my entire soul recognizes his presence and can finally let go. That with him, I'm safe.

It's a lie, though—I'm not safe.

Not anywhere close.

I'm running through fire, doused in accelerant,pretending I'll outrun the burn.

"I missed you," I say with too much honesty against his lips.

"We've been in the same room all day."

"That's the thing, isn't it? I fucking miss you, even when you're with me. How are we going to—"

"Stop," he growls, his mouth crashing into mine. The sharp pressure of his teeth stings my bottom lip, and I open for him, allowing our tongues to intertwine in a heated back and forth. My hands glide down his spine, my palms finding their way to his ass. With a slight nudge of my knee, I spread his legs apart, slotting mine between them and drawing him nearer.

Soft whimpers escape his lips, mingling with the air we both breathe, as he pulls back and peppers my swollen bottom lip with kisses. "You're going to get me worked up, and it'll make things very uncomfortable when we go inside and join the others."

"Let's just run away," I whisper, and he lets out a pitiful little noise.

"Don't."

"But—"

"Just don't," he begs, silencing me with his lips.

Our kiss turns softer, his hands on my cheeks and mine around his waist. He gasps when I spin us and push his back against the wall, my palm resting beside his head as I lean in and claim his mouth again. "I like it when you're under me," I murmur, kissing a path along his jaw until I find his ear. "Do you like being under me?"

"Maybe I want you under me," he retorts, nipping at my earlobe. "Spread out like a buffet, needy and open for me. Maybe I want to hear you beg."

My pulse pounds as my cock kicks between my legs, my asshole giving an involuntary flex with the thought. Fuck, why does everything about this excite me so much? "That could be arranged," I finally say, voice thick.

"You going to back up those bold words with action?" He slides his hand under my shirt and rakes his fingernails through the hair on my stomach.

"Now who's making who unfit for public eyes?" He huffs a quiet chuckle before dragging me back to him, and we distract each other until the hinges of the door squeal and Cho calls his name.

"Got that handled?" I ask, and his laugh blows across my lips. I lean in and plant a last, lingering soft kiss on him before pushing his hair from his face, tucking it behind his ear.

Everything inside me aches as he leans into my touch, and it's like severing my own limb as I separate myself from him.

We say nothing else as we walk around the corner, and if Cho is surprised to see us together, she doesn't show it. "Dinner's here!" she says, her sweet smile still in place.

For as often as Tai and I tease the happy couple, they are actually a happy couple. Good people who deserve what they've found in each other.

My eyes drift to Tai, cool as can be, as they chat. He isn't panicking, isn't freaking out. He's just... chill.

Calm.

I feel like I'm being pulled apart from the seams, and he's unbothered. Is this not affecting him as much as it is me? My entire world has been flipped upside down, and when I think about leaving him…

God, it fucking hurts.

I watch him walk in front of me, long hair flowing over his shoulders as he laughs at something Cho says. It makes no sense to be this tied up in someone I just met…

Someone I can't have.

Someone who isn't meant to be mine for more than this fleeting moment.

Perhaps it would be wiser to create some space between us now, before reaching a point of no return.

Or perhaps I'm already there.

I shake my head. Distance is what I need… it's the only way to leave this place with my heart intact.