2. Jesse

JESSE

"Sorry about that,"Emily said, breathless as she clutched my biceps. "I should have looked behind me before I backed up."

When I'd come here tonight, hoping to see Emily again and maybe finally getting to apologize for what I'd done all those years ago, the already beautiful girl I remembered paled in comparison to the gorgeous woman who'd fallen into my arms.

"No worries at all. I should have… I should have watched where I was going. You look…amazing," I breathed out, still regaining my balance from almost falling over and coming face-to-face with the first girl I'd ever loved. "Wow. I mean…" I let go of Emily's arm to press my palm against my forehead, my stupid attempt to maybe push something coherent out of my mouth.

"Thank you," Emily said. "And you don't look so bad yourself. Of course," she muttered as the corner of her red lips twitched. Her eyes fell to where I still gripped her arm. "I think I'm totally upright now, so you could let go."

"Right," I said, dropping my hand. Emily's beauty had left me speechless and stupid from the moment we'd met, and I guessed that hadn't changed.

"Just like old times," Caden said, smirking at me over Emily's shoulder. "Give me a hug, J—Emily." He held out his arms, grimacing for a second. He'd always busted my chops by singing "Jessie's Girl" to Emily, so often that it had become his nickname for her.

The last time we were all together, she was my girl. It was a long time ago, but being here with Emily now, even though we'd broken up years ago, somehow made it feel like it had all just happened.

If I hadn't literally run into her tonight, I would have been clueless as to how to approach her. It was almost as if I'd been catapulted back to our freshman year of high school when we'd first met. I'd spotted her from the hallway, my eyes lingering on this beautiful girl and not where I was going when I'd knocked everything on her desk onto the floor.

She'd set me at ease with a kind and gorgeous smile, draining the air from my lungs because she was fucking breathtaking. I'd decided at that moment that she was mine, and she had been for all four years, until the thought of losing her had scared me shitless.

Maybe the initial devastation I'd felt as a stupid eighteen-year-old running on hormones and emotion had evolved over time to regret, but the burning need to apologize and confess that regret was palpable, even if it was pointless two decades later.

I'd always joked she was the jock in our relationship. All those hours playing soccer had given her a gorgeous body of lean muscle. I shook off the random memory of her strong legs wrapped around my waist, rocking me into her as we'd explored each other.

Her curves were softer now, but as she adjusted her purse on her arm, I noticed the cut of muscle in her bicep and the same sexy shoulders when she tucked a lock of chestnut hair behind her ear. When I allowed my eyes to drop lower, the hem of her black dress teased just enough of her toned thighs.

Fuck, she was gorgeous.

I'd known she would be, but I hadn't expected to get so goddamn tongue-tied in her presence.

"Nice to see you, Jesse," Sabrina said with a little wave. "We noticed your name on one of the cards."

I bit back a smile when Emily narrowed her eyes at Sabrina.

"Yeah, we got here a little late. Jesse's fault." Caden motioned to me. I nodded, not wanting to go into why I had to settle things at home before I went anywhere now. It was almost a relief to feel and think like a teenager tonight, as juggling grief and guilt on a daily basis as an adult was exhausting.

"You didn't miss much so far." Sabrina chuckled before taking another sip of her drink. "That's our table. Remember Gage Sheridan and his crew? The years haven't been too kind."

"Shit, for real," Caden said, craning his neck toward their table.

"And even though they wouldn't even make eye contact with us in school, they've been leering at us since we sat down," Emily said, her nose scrunched as she glanced behind her. "They asked us to get reacquainted."

"And that's a hard no," Sabrina said, her face twisted in disgust.

"How the mighty have fallen," Caden said, shaking his head. "Our table seems to be empty. Why don't you sit with us?"

"I wouldn't mind that. Would make the night less awkward," Sabrina said.

"As long as you don't mind," Emily said. I searched her gaze for any reluctance, but she appeared not to care one way or the other.

"Not at all," I said, stepping in front of Emily on instinct to block their view when I caught the tools at their table still staring at them.

Hope bloomed inside my chest that maybe Emily didn't hate me as much as I'd always suspected she did. Or maybe everything that had happened between us was so long ago, it didn't matter to her anymore.

Instead of nervousness and guilt, embarrassment settled into a sour pit in my stomach. I'd carried what had happened between us with me for so long, when she might not have even cared anymore. And if she didn't, why did that make me feel even worse?

"Sabrina originally thought they snuck in here," Emily said as she took a seat at the end of the table next to Sabrina. "I didn't think so, because what is the allure of someone else's twenty-year high school reunion?"

"Seriously. I barely wanted to come." Sabrina shook her head and grimaced when she glanced back.

"Don't ask me." I held up my hands. "Caden was the one all excited to be here tonight." I settled into the chair next to Emily, ignoring Caden's smug grin in my periphery.

"Why not? I'm shallow enough to want to show all the jerk-offs we went to high school with that I, in fact, amounted to something. And I liked a few people enough to be curious about them now." He nudged Sabrina's shoulder.

"You always said the sweetest things," Sabrina said, clasping her hands under her chin.

"Will you look at this? The whole gang is still together."

Sharon Foster flashed us a saccharine smile, pulling out the empty chair next to me as if we were all old friends.

Our first familiar face of the night, other than Emily and Sabrina, but just like when I'd run into her back in high school, I wasn't all that happy to see her.

Sharon had been a big hit with the teachers because she'd known how to sell it. She came from money, and she had always been the first to volunteer or donate anything for the less fortunate. But when no one was watching, she'd pick who she'd felt was worth being nice to and made life as hard as she could for everyone else. I could never figure out how she had all the faculty snowed, or how Caden had tolerated dating her for a couple of months in senior year.

"It is so great to see all of you." She scooted closer to the table and hooked her purse over the back of her chair.

We all shared a look when she turned her head.

"You look great, Emily. Time was wonderful to you. I was very excited and proud to spot your name in the last book I read."

"Oh, thank you," Emily stammered, furrowing her brow. Sharon had ignored both of us throughout high school, but when she'd dated Caden, I'd been worthy of a hello once or twice. I'd never known what to do with her fake kindness back then either.

"Wait a minute," I said, my head snapping up as what Sharon said sank in. "You're a writer now? That's fantastic. I knew it."

"You knew it?" She narrowed her eyes at me. "How?"

"Well, I figured writer or soccer star—or maybe both?"

I caught a blush run up her cheeks.

"I'm an editor, not a writer. I loved playing soccer in college, but that's as far as I wanted to take it. I earned a communications degree while I played, and I worked at a big publishing house before I went on my own. I have ghostwritten in the past, but not for a long time. Editing is where I like to live."

"That's pretty fantastic too," I said, my smile growing when her gaze slid back to mine. "Congratulations."

"I've spotted your name in a few books now," Sharon gushed, breaking what I thought was almost a nice moment between Emily and me. "It's so awesome to point out to friends and say how I knew you back when."

"Excuse me," Sabrina said, choking out an exaggerated cough as she set down her water glass. "Must have gone down the wrong way. Too bad you don't have any pictures with your friend Emily from high school to show the people who attend your seminars."

"Right," Sharon said with a tight smile, turning back to Emily. "I love seeing professional women start working for themselves. Such an empowering accomplishment."

"Thank you. I like to think so. Being able to work from anywhere makes everything much easier."

"Very true," I agreed. In my case, the ability to work from home wasn't only easier, it was a godsend. Being so afraid to leave my condo these days was part of the reason Caden had pushed me into this reunion, and my mother had been so quick to offer to spend the night.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Sharon said as she popped up from the chair. "I need to go take my seat at the sponsors' table. Emily, I'll message you on Facebook." She scurried across the room, not addressing, or even looking back at, the rest of us.

"Was it something I said?" Sabrina pressed her hand to her chest. "Of course she's one of the sponsors."

Caden laughed as his gaze followed her departure. "She didn't even say hi."

"She barely looked at any of us. Other than calling us a gang, Emily was the only one lucky enough to get a direct acknowledgment." Sabrina smirked at Emily.

"And here I'd thought we'd had a thing," Caden said on an exaggerated sigh.

"What did you mean by seminars?" I asked Sabrina.

"You didn't hear about that?" Emily squinted at me. "Sharon is a motivational speaker. I think for the past ten years or so."

"Motivational speaker?" I chuckled. "Sharon? Motivation for what?"

"Living your best life, overcoming obstacles, loving yourself. She is all over YouTube. Emily and I trade video links all the time for sport," Sabrina said. "I actually wondered if she'd be nicer and if she really practices all that toxic positivity crap she preaches."

"Not me," Emily scoffed. "The idea of everyone deserving self-actualization is her platform rather than her belief, at least from what I can tell. But I guess if she's really helping some people live their best lives, no matter what her agenda is, it ends up for the greater good, right?"

Emily's smile was warm and genuine, showing none of the trepidation I had been called out for before I'd left my house tonight.

I was an odd mix of relieved and disappointed. Yes, it was great that she didn't seem to hate me. But it would be a big blow to my ego if I carried all this guilt over how we'd ended for a couple of decades and she hadn't even thought twice about it. Maybe she was married or attached and didn't have time to think of her jerk ex-boyfriend from high school.

"So, what do you do for a living? Now that we've talked about my fame," Emily joked and reached for one of the rolls in the bread basket. I inched closer to the table, trying not to be so obvious about checking out her ring finger as she picked up her butter knife.

"I'm a systems director for a company in Farmingdale. I can do most things from home, but I have to show my face in the office a couple times a month and take the train into Manhattan for quarterly meetings."

"Ah, of course." She nodded before taking a bite. "I figured it would be something like that."

"Well, I was the computer nerd, and you were the jock, remember?"

Her smile shrank as she chewed, darting her eyes away from mine for a moment. Maybe she did care a little. Whatever I'd just seen flash across her face made me feel better—or at least like less of a sad jerk.

Emily had always been so far out of my league, she was in another stratosphere. It still shocked me how, for a brief moment in time, she had belonged to me. Then adult complications got in the way of a simple love, and the frightened kid in me had panicked and run.

I finally had my chance to tell her why I'd run that night—and how I'd regretted it ever since.