chapter 32

Lillian sat ona chartered jet headed for one of The Great American Talent Show’s premier sponsors, the Mimosa Resort. Ordinarily, a luxury flight to a high-end resort would be all right, but she was restless. She and Izzy had only had a few hours before they needed to get back to the soundstage. Then they were whisked to the airport in different shuttles, bundled onto different planes. Lying next to Izzy without touching her or being touched had been a sweet torture. She wanted the relief of their bodies melting together. But more than that, she’d wanted to keep Izzy safe. Izzy had felt small and fragile in her arms. And her apologies broke Lillian’s heart. You don’t have to apologize for being human. And seeing Izzy smile in the morning made all the frustration and anxiety of the show worth it. If it wasn’t for The Great American Talent Show, she wouldn’t know how Izzy’s cheeks rounded when she smiled or how her eyes filled with flirtatious mischief. Lillian wanted to make sure Izzy was still smiling.

But a voice in the back of her head nagged at her. Izzy fell for successful women who put their art and their careers first. Did Izzy stick to hookups because she’d given up on love? Because she thought she wasn’t worth more? If Lillian could just look into Izzy’s eyes and speak to her without words. You’re worth everything. But, realistically, when this was all over, wouldn’t Lillian leave like the rest? Either to keep dancing with the Reed-Whitmer Ballet Company or to take the fellowship or a place in another company? She tried to shake the thought.

The first two days at the Mimosa Resort were technically days off, but that just meant no competition. Bryant said they would be filming the teams frolicking. His exact words were frolic the fuck out of that resort. Looking at the schedule, Reed-Whitmer was frolicking on one side of the complex, Velveteen Crush on the other. Lillian longed to trace the edge of Izzy’s bathing suit where it dipped between her thighs, and—

Kia, in the seat beside her, gave her a little shove. “You’re cheesin’ so hard for her. You gonna jump her in the lobby or what?”

“Kia!” Lillian snapped, but she didn’t have anything to say after that.

She let out a long sigh.

“Talk to me, coz,” Kia said. “You’re smiling. You’re angsting. I haven’t heard you tell your dancers that relaxation is the gateway to failure since we got back from the coast.”

When they got to LA, she’d have to do the interview with Ashlyn Stewart for her epic documentary. Soon Izzy would go to the wedding. So many obligations. And they both would do the things they didn’t want to do because… why?

Lillian turned around.

“Relaxation is the gateway to failure,” she called over her seat.

Imani tossed a balled-up napkin at her. An airplane bottle of Fireball traveled from hand to hand. Imani tossed the bottle in Lillian’s lap.

“Imani Ojiki,” Lillian scolded in Eleanor’s haughtiest tone.

“When in Rome,” Imani called over.

“We’re not in Rome. There is no Fireball in Rome.”

“I don’t think that’s true.” Kia took the Fireball from Lillian, cracked the cap, and handed it back. Her dancers laughed, but it wasn’t mean.

“Oh hell,” Lillian groaned, and downed half the Fireball.

Her dancers cheered.