Chapter 22 Austin Graham

There’s a Mistake

Three Days Until Christmas

It sucks that this is happening just a few days before Christmas, but at least I know I have no reason to be worried. I would never do anything that would risk my position, especially now that I am exactly where I've always worked so hard to be.

I head to the lab that Lily texted to me and leave my sample. I swing by my house and get the tree out of the back of my Escalade, and I set it into place in my family room. I’ll decorate it tomorrow when I have nothing to do at home since my girls are gone.

And then I put in a call to my lawyer to start executing one of the plans that I have. I swing by his office to talk things through and sign some papers, and a couple hours later I'm back with my girls.

We just got Mia down, and I'm lying on Kelly's bed as she packs.

“Can I do anything to help?” I ask.

“No, I got it.”

“You're quiet,” I say. “Is everything okay?”

She nods. “I'm just kind of a nervous flyer. Add a baby into the mix, and every second that brings me closer to the flight gives me another little jolt of anxiety.”

I stand, and I pull her into my arms. “Hey, Kaplan. You’re amazing, and you’ve got this.”

She rests her head on my chest. “I know. I’m just nervous to fly by myself with Mia. Last time we went anywhere, she slept most of the way, but I have a feeling it's going to be hard to keep her quiet, and I’ll end up spending the entire flight trying to prevent her from kicking the chair in front of us so she's not bothering anybody around us.”

“Hey, even if she is, anybody with kids will understand. And anybody else can go fuck themselves.”

She laughs. “You know, that actually kind of made me feel better.” She leans up to press a quick kiss to my lips, but I don't let it be quick.

I grab her head and hold onto her until I feel her start to give in. That little feeling of her melting into me seems to calm her. She pulls back and leans her head on my chest again.

“We never went to your place to decorate your tree,” she says.

“I stopped by after I left my sample at the lab and put it up in my family room, but I haven't decorated it yet. It's fine. It'll give me something to do tomorrow.”

“Aside from practice,” she says.

“Aside from missing the two of you.”

She offers a wry smile as she adds more sweaters to the pile of clothes in her suitcase on the floor.

“How long are you going to be gone again?” I ask.

“A week.” She bends down to add some long-sleeve shirts to the pile.

“I can't believe I finally have a reason to celebrate Christmas, and those reasons aren't even going to be in the same state as me.”

She tilts her head at me with a bit of sympathy in her eyes. “Then let’s have our own Christmas celebration when we get back.”

“I think that's a great idea.”

She seems much calmer as she finishes packing in between kisses, and eventually we get naked and have more sex before we settle in for bed, neither one of us really wanting the night to end because daylight means we’re going to have to be apart.

But just like every good thing, our night must come to an end.

When morning dawns, the day begins with chaos. Our usually calm baby wakes up screaming, waking the two of us as her yells come through the monitor.

Kelly leaps up. “Shit! We’re late!” She takes off for Mia’s room, and I glance at the clock. She wanted to get up an hour ago so we could get to the airport with plenty of time for her to get through security with the baby by herself.

I stumble blearily across the house behind Kelly, who manages to get there first as I manage to stub my toe on the couch on my walk across the house toward Mia’s room.

Fuck, that shit hurts.

By the time I limp into Mia’s room, I see Kelly peppering the baby with kisses as she coos baby girl, it’s okay to her.

She’s too little to tell us what's wrong, so I assume she had a bad dream. I hope it's not an omen for what's to come today since Kelly was already nervous about flying with her. I don't think waking up late to a screaming child is helping alleviate those fears.

“You go shower, and I’ll get Mia dressed and start breakfast for you both,” I tell Kelly.

She shoots me a grateful look, and even though the morning is more rushed than Kelly wanted it to be, we're ready to go to the airport with plenty of time to spare. It’s not as much time as Kelly would have wanted, but we’ll get there, and she’ll still have a good hour and a half before her flight takes off.

I can feel her nervous energy as we hightail it toward the airport. With each mile bringing us closer, she seems to get more nervous. She chugs a bottle of water. She taps her fingers nervously on her thighs.

I reach over and grab her hand to try to help her calm down, and her fingers are ice cold and trembling.

“Hey, Kaplan. It’s fine. You have plenty of time.”

She glances over at me and nods nervously but doesn’t say a word.

We are just pulling into the drop-off area when my phone starts to ring. My car’s system notifies me that it's Lily. I'm sure she's calling with the test results. This will be quick, so I take the call.

“Hey Lily,” I answer over the car’s Bluetooth.

“Mr. Graham, good morning.” Lily’s voice comes loudly through the car speakers. “I'm calling with some news.” Her tone sounds clipped, which is surprising for a dude who has no reason to be concerned about his test results.

“Go ahead,” I prompt.

“The results are showing an anabolic steroid in your system.”

“What?” I practically yell as my chest tightens. “That’s not possible. Check it again.”

“Your test results came back positive for Nandrolone.”

“Is this some sort of joke?” I ask.

“I'm afraid not, Mr. Graham,” she says. “Mr. Dalton would like to see you in his office immediately.”

“I didn't do anything,” I say.

“The results came back and are showing a different story. We need you here in the office.”

I don't even know what to say. “There's a mistake. The lab made a mistake.” My tone is coming out more desperate than I intend to, but I feel Kelly's gaze on me.

The thought that maybe she doesn't believe me kills a little part of me.

“You can take it up with Mr. Dalton. He's waiting for you.” Lily cuts the call, and my heart sinks.

Everything’s been going so well, so goddamn perfect. I knew it was too good to be true.

I didn't do anything.

I pull into the spot at the airport where I have to say goodbye. I put the car in park, and she’s in a rush to get out of the car. We’re running late. We don’t have time for this conversation.

“I didn't do this,” I say. “You believe me, don't you?”

She barely even looks up at me, and I'm scared that that means it's one more reason for her not to trust me. One more strike against me to make me look like a bad guy when I'm not. At least, I’m not a bad guy anymore .

But when you live your life a certain way for as long as I have, of course people are going to believe the worst.

Fuck.

“We need to go,” she says.

“Just…please tell me you believe in me. Tell me you trust me.”

She sighs. “I know you changed over the last few months, and I want to believe you. I want to believe you've turned over a new leaf and you're not the guy you used to be anymore, but right now we don't have time to have this discussion because we have to go.”

She wants to believe me. That doesn’t mean she does believe me.

She gets out of the car and grabs Mia from the backseat, and as much as I want to hold her bags hostage until she gives me the answer I'm looking for, I know I need to support the fact that she is a nervous flyer right now. I know I can’t get into this with her even though it kills me not to.

It should be one more signal that I've changed since I'm putting someone else first over myself and my own needs, but she's too caught up in her traveling nerves to acknowledge that.

“Well, travel safe.” I grab Mia from her arms and kiss her face as my chest tightens with fear.

Close.

So goddamn close.

It was within my grasp to have more time with my little girl, more time with the woman I love. And now it feels like someone's pulling the rug out from under me.

It's as if my mistakes from the past are catching up with me, and I'm getting punished for them now. Maybe it’s because I never got punished for them before. My entire life felt like a punishment in different ways. Some might even call this karma.

I pass Mia back to Kelly, and I lean down to give her a kiss. She sort of backs away, and I tell myself it’s because she’s rushing to leave. It’s not because she doesn’t believe me.

But I can tell myself that all I want. I’m not sure I believe it.

I want to tell her I love her, but she doesn't appear to be in a spot where she wants to hear those words right now.

“You got this, Kaplan.”

She gives me a tight smile. “So do you.”

And then she turns with her suitcase and the baby and heads into the airport, leaving me at the drop off area with my heart in my hand.