Chapter 1 Kelly Kaplan

Darling Christmas Cookie Wreaths

Four Weeks Until Christmas

“Cookie’s Cookies and Cakes, this is Kelly speaking.” I blow a breath upward in some attempt to push my hair out of my eyes, and I glance over at the baby corner under the windows in my office. Soon enough, we’re going to have to turn it into a toddler corner. Mia is crawling all over the place at ten months, and soon she’ll be walking, and…then I guess I can’t confine her to a corner in my office anymore.

“Hey. It’s me.”

My chest tightens as I hear his voice. It shouldn’t tighten. I should be past all this by now, ready to move on with some hot new hunk.

I’m not ready, and I wish I knew why he’s calling me at work rather than on my phone.

“Why didn’t you just call my phone?” I ask. It’s throwing me off to be on my office line with him rather than on my phone.

“I did. It went to voicemail.”

I glance at my desk as I look for my phone, and I don’t even see it. I have Christmas music playing while I work on a set of wreaths to hang up in the shop, and I have little faux cookies and cakes scattered all over my desk. I decorated those with red and green paint yesterday, and I’m hot-gluing them on the wreaths today.

I move some red and green ribbon, and voila…there’s the phone.

I pick it up and spot the missed call.

“Sorry,” I mutter. “I’m in the middle of something. What do you need?”

“I, uh, sorry, but I can’t do next Tuesday with Mia.” He sounds apologetic, and it’s rare he misses time with Mia, but that doesn’t make the feeling of being let down any less brutal. “I got invited to this charity thing, and the entire coaching staff will be there, so I need to make sure to put in my time. Our offensive coordinator is big on face time off the field.” He sounds annoyed by that fact.

“Okay,” I mutter with a sigh. It’s not that I mind being with Mia twenty-four seven. I adore her. She’s my entire world. She’s my littlest best friend, which is why I nicknamed her Miamiga—like mi amiga. It just came out one day, and it stuck.

It’s just that Tuesdays are when I book all my appointments so I don’t have to drag the baby along with me, and I scheduled a haircut and my annual exam this Tuesday. It’s Austin’s one day off each week, and he always spends it with his little girl.

I guess I’m either canceling or Mia’s coming with me. Good thing she’s young enough not to remember her mom’s feet in stirrups with my legs spread eagle as a doctor sticks various items up my hoo-ha.

“I’m sorry. Don’t be mad. Can I make it up to you by spending some time with her after practice on Friday?” he asks.

“That’s fine.” I yank on some of the mesh that looks crooked. “I guess I’ll see you then.”

“Are you ready to give this another chance yet?” he asks.

I chuckle. He ends pretty much every conversation the same way.

It’s not that I don’t want to give him a chance. The way my chest tightened when his voice took me off guard tells me I still have feelings for him. Strong ones. Usually I can manage them better when I see his name flash on my phone screen as if it’s serving as a warning, and this time I was just caught off guard.

We have a history. He betrayed my best friend and her husband when he secretly recorded a private conversation and sold it to the highest bidder, and I can’t get past that. I’m nothing if not a loyal friend. I already had trust issues, ones he was aware of, and he swooped in and proved I couldn’t trust him. If he could hurt my friends, how can I be sure I’m not next on his list?

I may be a generally optimistic and positive person, but that doesn’t mean I hand out my trust easily.

There’s way less risk to my heart by keeping him at arm’s length. I’ve done it for a year and a half now, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.

That’s not to say I wouldn’t want another night or two with him. We could have some fun and keep our emotions in check…right?

Wrong.

I know it’s wrong because we tried it. There’s a little voice in the back of my head that reminds me of that fact whenever I get any silly ideas that we could make it work.

We can’t. We tried. We failed. That’s that.

“Not yet,” I say lightly.

“Fine,” he mutters. “I’ll talk to you soon.”

I hang up and finish the wreath, and I spot Mia climbing into her bouncy chair, her tiny ponytail made out of the little whisps of hair I gathered up on top of her head swinging with her movements. That’s usually the signal that she’s tired and ready for a nap, so I walk over, pick her up, and snuggle her to my chest. “Daddy said he’ll see you Friday, baby girl,” I murmur.

I walk over to the rocking chair Ava ordered for my office, and I sit down and start to rock her. Her eyes close, and once I’m certain she’s asleep, I set her in the bassinet that she’s nearly starting to outgrow.

I take my wreath and my baby monitor, and I head out of my office, lock the door, and walk out toward the cafe, where I find Ava talking to some customers over the counter. Once they’re done, I show her the wreath.

“God, Kel. You’re so talented. I wish I had half the creativity you do.”

“You totally do. Your cookies are the cutest in town.” I nod toward the case of cookies. The hottest sellers right now are the Vegas Aces cookies she’s been making with the team logo since her husband is a former player on the team. In fact, the night she met him—or re -met him, I guess, since she’d known him since she was a kid but hadn’t seen him in a decade—was the same night I met Austin. It was a year and a half ago now, but she’s married, and I’m…not.

I’m an exhausted single mom.

We had a fling, we had some fun, and I ended up pregnant. And that’s pretty much the end of our story. He did some underhanded things, I found out he was a member of a sex club, and I can’t be anything more than a co-parent with him.

And flaking on our standing Tuesday appointment feels like a step backward instead of forward.

He’s in season, though, so I’m trying to be understanding.

“Oh, that wreath is just darling!” Mrs. Howard says from the other side of the counter. “How much is it?”

“Oh, no, these aren’t for sale,” I say. “Just decorations I made for Ava.” I hang it on the wall behind the register where we always hang a wreath for whatever holiday is coming next. It’s the Saturday after Thanksgiving, so all the Christmas décor is going up today.

“I’d pay fifty for one,” Mrs. Howard says. “And so would every other lady in my bunco group.”

I glance over at her in surprise. “Really?”

She nods. “Really. They’re just adorable…and so are you. In fact, you’d be perfect for my grandson. Are you seeing anybody?”

Gotta hand it to grandmas. Somehow, they just know the exact most awkward thing to say.

“Oh, I’m not really dating right now,” I decline respectfully. “Single mom, busy work schedule, you know how it goes.” I duck my head in embarrassment.

“I do. All the more reason to get you out to have a little fun. How’s Friday?” she asks.

“Your cakes are ready,” Callie says as she walks in from the kitchen with two boxes, and I’m thankful for the interruption.

“Thank you, honey,” Mrs. Howard says. Jenny follows behind Callie with two more boxes, and Mrs. Howard looks at me. “Would you help me get these out to my car, dear?”

I nod. “Of course.”

I carry two boxes, and she carries the other two. I carefully set them in the trunk of her Lincoln.

“Now about Friday. Max can pick you up from here or at your house around, say…seven?”

“Mrs. Howard! Don’t be silly. You didn’t even check with Max to see if he’s free.”

She laughs. “He’s got dinner plans with me on Friday at seven.” She leans in toward me. “I’m just swapping out me for you.”

“I’m sure he’d really appreciate that, but I can’t. Really.” Except…I can. Austin just called to tell me that he wants to spend time with Mia on Friday after practice, and he didn’t say anything about me being there. And why not get picked up for a date while he’s there? Maybe it’ll send him the message I’m trying to send.

Except, to be honest, I’m not even sure what that message is at this point.

I’m holding him at arm’s length even though I want him. I’m half in love with him, half in hate with him. I’m still angry that he hurt my friend, his priorities are not aligned with mine, and I’m trying to move on, but I can’t since we see each other at a minimum of once a week with this whole co-parenting thing, and I’m still so attracted to him that it’s unreal.

I can’t stay stuck in neutral forever. I should do something about it.

“He’s a real catch, but I understand,” she says. She smiles warmly at me, and then she walks toward the driver’s side of her car.

Moving on. The message I want to send is that it’s time for me to move on .

“Okay,” I sort of yelp in agreement before she leaves, surprising even myself at my outburst. She stops and looks up at me. “Okay, I’ll go out with him.”

Her lips break out into a broad smile. “That’s wonderful.”

I give her my number and tell her to have Max text me, and then I wonder what the hell I just agreed to.