Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

D awn broke with the patter of rain upon the panes. Ford stirred to kiss her awake.

Her gown in such tatters she could only clutch it to her, Ford draped one of his white shirts over her. Just as that morning long years ago. Yet unlike that morn so long ago, she wore a smile. So did he as he gave her one of his banyans and took another for himself. Then he whisked her down the dark hall to her room in the east wing and scooted her inside.

"Sleep, sweetheart. You're not leaving today. Tell me you're not."

Her euphoria drifted away. "I should. I must. It's best that I get the house in Bath ready to receive Sam."

The light in his eyes died. "It's best if you get this house ready to receive a new mistress and a baby."

She stepped around him. "One night with you is not enough to build a life."

He caught her arm and whirled in front of her. "One night with me is enough for you to run away again?"

She sucked in a breath. "I didn't run from you. We could not have each other. There was no way forward. I had to marry Charlie."

"And now? There is no reason to leave."

Grateful he had not repeated the insulting word ‘run', she stood her ground. "Yes. There are many reasons to leave. You are the earl, the heir to a family proud in its tradition to care for this estate and its people. You are the man who will be respected and sought after to solve the problems, tend the wounds, heal the sick and care for the dying. You need an heir. And I? I cannot give that to you."

Gentle Ford took on the mien of the Warrior Colonel, dead set on conquering his opponent. He grasped her elbows. "Did your husband ever bed you?"

"No." She shook back her hair, embarrassed and defiant. "No."

"Then you do not know if you are capable of bearing a child."

"You and I made love six years ago. I was a virgin."

He nodded, but his silver eyes beamed brightly in anger. "You were."

"And we made love…twice."

"No. Not entirely."

She blustered. Her memory was not bad. "We did!"

"I was inside you, but never gave you the substance that could make you bear a child."

She blinked, trying to recall the specific details of their hours of intimacy.

"You were a virgin, true. Untried. And not knowing everything about the getting of children, I see you did not realize that I never came inside you. I did not wish to ruin you completely. I only wished to love you to the best of my ability. That you were not pregnant from our mating was what I wished—and what I had some presence of mind to ensure."

That flabbergasted her and she stared at him.

He circled his arms around her.

But she inched away. "You still need an heir and I am a poor candidate for that."

"Why?"

"Because I am thirty years old. Long past good age to breed."

He growled. "Many women bear into their forties. You cannot fob me off with that."

"Still…" She put out her arm to hold off his attempt to embrace her. "We do not know."

"You could have my babe within you now."

She caught her breath.

"I was not as careful last night, I regret to say. I am not as diligent now as I was then. And I want you badly, Vic. You are my only love." He reached out a hand to caress her cheek. "Don't you love me?"

She swallowed wild sobs. "I do!" She sniffed back hot tears and gazed at the ceiling. "I love you now as I did then."

" But ?" He was so angry. She had never seen a man so wounded.

"I love you, my darling. But I will not ruin your life, your future. If we marry, what is there for us if there is no child?"

He swore so loudly it reverberated off the wooden beams. "No mornings in bed together? No dances at the harvest festival? No kisses in the garden or holding hands in sickness and in health?"

"Oh, Ford!"

"Darling mine, I do not care if there is no child. I want you! "

She backed away from him.

But he tracked her. "Not convinced? Very well. What else is there in this argument of yours, eh? What else keeps you from me?"

"Respect. Who will respect that you married an old widow?"

"Oh, please. Is that all you have?"

"If you bear no heir, who will the title and lands go to?"

He waved a hand. "Some cousin. I have a few. You see, we Barlows are prolific breeders." He bared his white teeth.

"This is not funny."

"Don't I know!"

"Stop this. I have to think of Sam."

"Sam will have a good life with you. And us."

"If I marry, I lose my dowry. I will have no money to raise him! "

"I have money. I earn money. It may not be equal to yours, but what is the price of your happiness?"

"How can I ask you to raise a child of my sister's?"

"If Yvette had wed any other man than farrier Evan Hughes and they had both died, would you not take in your sibling's child?"

"Yes, but?—"

"Are you saying you do not think I would accept him?" He was now bellowing. "Because he is the farrier's boy?"

"No!"

"You had better believe that, my girl. I fought with men who had never had an education, could not read, could not write, and many never had a trade. So, you had better not think that I valued any man less because of his lack. Or because of his trade. Or his religion. What I saw in a man was his devotion to his king, his country, me and his comrades. After that, he had better be a damned good marksman and destroy anyone I chose in one kill shot."

"I cannot ask you to raise a boy who is not yours."

Fierce as he was now, Ford circled her round and round. At once he stopped and pointed a finger at her. "If you had come to me with a boy of your own, would you not ask me to raise him?"

"Yes. Yes, but that would be different."

"It is not. You walk around this problem, Vic."

"I do not!" She fisted her hands at her sides. "I want to marry you. Bring Sam. Live here. I want to give you all those things a woman can give a man. But I have no hope I can give you the one thing you need of a wife."

"The one thing I need of a wife is to love me. Kiss me in the morning. Laugh with me at noon. Hold me as darkness draws nigh."

She swiped at the tears cascading down her cheeks. "I have no hope I can give you the one thing I have wanted for myself! All these lonely years since I first fell in love with you, the only thing I wanted was a child. Someone to love and care for. I have no hope left for that." She broke into sobs.

He swept her up into his arms and took her to a big chair. There he wiped away her tears and tucked her face against his shoulder. "Cry, my darling. Cry it all away. One thing I brought home with me is hope. A treasure trove of it. I had it every time we faced a battle. Each time we saw the enemy run at us. Each minute was an hour filled with the hope to survive. To endure. To return to home and hearth and someone to love. You. Only you."

He urged her to look up at him. "I have enough hope for the both of us. Marry me, Vic, and let me give you my hope. Mine is so bountiful, I can share it. With it, together we can thrive, we can struggle and endure. We can find happiness. Marry me, my love. We can do all things together and do them best only with each other."

She kissed his jaw and snuggled closer. "You make sense."

"Thank you. I thought so myself."

She cuffed him.

He chuckled.

Noises of people walking the halls signaled those in the house were making ready for the day.

She sniffed back her tears. "I think we may have awakened a few people."

"Good. Time they were up. There is much to do here today. We've a wedding to plan."

She clutched the sleeve of his banyan. A new terror hit her. "We must tell your mother."

He stroked her hair back from her cheeks. "She'll be thrilled."

"She'll need whisky."

"A lot of it, too."

Vicky gasped. "She does not want me, Ford."

"I do. She will accept us with open arms especially if she would like to live out her days invited to birthdays, harvests, Christmases—and christenings."

"I pray there will be many."

"There will be and not for lack of practice." He picked up the muslin at the collar of his shirt she wore and moved it aside so his lips could brand her between her breasts.

She sighed, relieved, and let him have his fill. "I think this time I will lay back and think of Prinny."

He guffawed. "Good luck with that, my love. I understand the man is a terrible lover."

She caught his silver gaze. "I want only you."

He stood, caught her up in his arms and strode toward her bed. "And so you'll have me, madam. Banns, I think. Four weeks."

"No special license to get married sooner?"

"Oh, no," he said as he dropped her on the mattress and climbed near. "Before that, we'll be too busy."

She shoved her hands beneath the silk of his banyan and took the robe away. "What will we be doing?"

"This," he whispered as he sent his hands over her breasts and sank between her thighs. "This."