Chapter 61

Sloane hopped into the front seat of the car. I smiled at her, but she eyed me warily. I realized my attempts to conceal my shitty day were not working.

"How was your day?" I asked, trying to maintain a cheerful tone despite the sinking feeling in my chest.

Sloane's perceptive gaze bored into mine. "Better than yours, apparently. What happened?"

"It was fine," I said, pulling away from the curb.

"Mom, you're so lying."

I took a deep breath. "Do you ever get really excited about something and think it's going to be great and then reality hits and it isn't?"

"Every time I get fast food." She shook her head. "Is that what happened?"

"Yes. The job itself is good. I want to be on the marketing team. It's exciting. Unfortunately, the guys on my team don't have the same enthusiasm for me joining them."

"They don't like you?"

"I don't know if they like me," I said. "They wouldn't even listen to me. I felt invisible. They didn't hear me, see me, or even pay attention to me. It was not what I thought it was going to be."

"You should just quit," Sloane suggested bluntly. "If they're treating you like that already, it's only going to get worse. Isn't that why you quit working for Grandpa?"

Despite her young age, Sloane possessed a keen insight into the workings of the world.

"I wish it were that simple, Sloane," I replied with a weary smile. "I need the job. I want the job."

"But if it makes you miserable, it's not a good job."

"It was only the first day," I said. "I'm not going to quit after one day. It'll get better."

"Can I text Graham and see if he wants to come over for dinner?"

I smiled. "Actually, I'm way ahead of you. He's bringing Chinese."

"Cool. Then you don't have to make dinner."

"Exactly." I laughed. "Now really, how was school?"

She shrugged. "Fine. Boring."

"Ah, I miss school."

"Then we can switch places. You go to school and I'll go to your new job tomorrow."

"It's tempting, but that only works in movies if people switch bodies." I smiled at her. "Looks like you're stuck going to algebra tomorrow."

She rolled her eyes. "Yay. My favorite."

"I thought you liked math?" I asked.

She shook her head. "I did until they added letters. What is this, English class? And you know what? It turns out X equals I don't give a crap."

I chuckled to myself and ignored the bad language. "I guess we'll be crossing ‘accountant' off your list of potential careers."

We got home and had barely been there ten minutes when Graham showed up with dinner in hand. The delicious aroma of Chinese food filled the air, momentarily distracting me from the weight of my worries. I plastered on a smile as I greeted him, determined to conceal the truth of my disappointing day from him.

"We'll talk later," he said quietly.

I nodded.

We dished up the food while Sloane chattered on and on about the new house and how she couldn't wait to go swimming. Her cast would be coming off around the same time we moved in.

"Didn't you have the interviews for my old job today?" I asked Graham.

"It was a nightmare, honestly." Graham sighed, his frustration evident. "None of the candidates seemed quite right, and I couldn't help but compare them all to you."

"That's because Mom's irreplaceable," Sloane declared.

"Thank you," I said. "I appreciate that."

"So, no luck finding anyone?" I asked him. "I know I set the bar really high, being so awesome, but you have to find someone."

"I did eventually," Graham answered. "He's got some great experience, and he seems very capable. He's still not you, but no one is."

"My foot itches," Sloane complained. "Somebody pass me a chop stick. I need to get in there."

I gave her an empathetic smile and moved the utensils away from her side of the table. "Only a little longer. Just think of something else."

"Think of the first time you get to jump in that pool," Graham said.

Our daughter smiled and closed her eyes. "The water will feel amazing. I'm gonna be in there so much, I'll have gills by the end of summer."

As she imagined breathing underwater, it seemed her itch was long forgotten. Graham was so good with her, even though he'd been forced to start late with her. Guilt still ate at me for not telling him about Sloane sooner. He had forgiven me, but I didn't know if I would ever be able to forgive myself.

We finished our dinner, and as usual, Sloane excused herself to chat with Todd on the phone, leaving Graham and me to stare at each other over the remnants of my kung pao chicken.

"You know, she wanted to invite you over for dinner," I said as we put the leftovers in the fridge. "It's kind of funny that she wants you here but then disappears to her bedroom."

"I guess she just wants to see me." He laughed. "I don't mind. When we live together, it will be like this except I won't have to go home at the end of the night."

"And you can listen to her complain about having nothing to wear in the morning or how she hates her hair, and does she really have to go to school again? She just went yesterday."

He chuckled. "I look forward to it. She's funny. Although I keep forgetting I'm supposed to be a parent because she makes me laugh. Like that bit about not going to school? It totally would have worked on me. She and I would have been halfway to Disneyworld before I remembered I'm supposed to be the grownup."

"At least your heart's in the right place." I pulled a bottle of wine from the wine fridge and put it on the counter. "Will you please open that? Time for us to have a grownup drink."

"Of course." He nodded. "We can enjoy a glass of wine while you tell me all about your first day."

"I'd like that."

We carried our empty glasses and the bottle of wine up to the rooftop terrace. I turned on one of the heaters and sat down.

"What really happened at work today?" he asked, taking a seat beside me. He was close, but not too close, just in case Sloane appeared. "You haven't said anything about it. Was it bad?"

I took a deep breath and a long drink. "Everything was fine until we had our first pitch meeting. Then it was worse than working for my father. I seriously had to go look in the mirror to make sure I wasn't transparent."

Graham shook his head and grabbed my hand. "I'm sorry, baby, that's terrible."

"I don't know if it's because I'm the new kid or if it's because I'm a woman. Or maybe they think I don't have specific experience in marketing, even though I've been involved with marketing my whole career. I know I can run a campaign."

Graham squeezed my hand. "Damn right you can. I've seen you win over pissed-off clients. I'm sure in time they'll see how capable you are too."

"It's so discouraging," I confessed, leaning into him slightly. "I miss seeing your face around the office. I feel like I'm out of my depth. I was really looking forward to this job and I was so proud of myself for getting it."

"I'm sorry, Isadora," he murmured. "You shouldn't have to deal with that kind of shit. I know how talented you are."

"Thank you. I just felt invisible. Like I didn't matter. Maybe I'm just being overly sensitive. I keep thinking about what happened at my dad's company. They might not be ignoring me on purpose."

"Perhaps," Graham said, shifting in his seat to face me fully. "They might not even realize they've upset you. Regardless, it's on them, not you. You're there because you earned it."

I smiled at him gratefully, grasping onto every reassuring word he offered. "What would I do without you?"

"You'd do just fine," he said. "Just like you've done for the last decade and a half. You handled everything life threw at you and then some."

"Hmm, I guess I did, didn't I?"

"Yeah, you did," he said. "Because you're strong and talented and smart. They're lucky to have you, even if they're too blind to see it. I'm jealous of them. They get you and I don't. I know you don't want to come back, but I would treat you so good?—"

I heard the door open and immediately pulled away.

"Mom, I'm going to bed," Sloane said. "Don't keep her up too late, Graham. She has work in the morning."

Graham nodded. "I won't. We all have to get up early. I'll see you in a couple of days, kiddo."

"Cool. Night."

I chuckled at her abrupt departure.

Graham leaned closer to me. "She's a girl of few words."

"Sometimes." I laughed. "You never know what to expect with that kid. Sometimes when she texts me, she calls me bruh."

"Really?"

"Oh, yes." I nodded. "And that's the nicer end of the spectrum. You should see the looks I get when I try to enforce curfew."

He laughed, his eyes sparkling. "Ah, parenting. Sounds like an adventure."

"It's definitely something." I took a deep sip of wine. "But I wouldn't change it for anything."

He smiled. "Yeah, she's a great kid. You've done an amazing job."

I smiled back at him and then glanced out at the city, hoping he wouldn't see the tears threatening to fall down my cheeks. Parenting was a thankless job and it was a nice change to have someone notice and appreciate all the things I had done and all the sacrifices I had made.

We sat in companionable silence, listening to the sounds of the city below as the stars twinkled overhead.

"You know, when I first bought my penthouse, I used to sit on the balcony all the time. I loved feeling like I was above it all. You can't hear much from up here, but you can see the lights and imagine what it sounds like down there. I loved the lights, but I am so ready for our house. We'll be able to see the stars. I can't wait to sit on our back patio after a long day and get to hear the cicadas and crickets and whatever other nocturnal creatures are out there. Maybe an owl or two. I thought I would never want to leave, but now that I have Sloane, I want the quiet life."

"I get it." I nodded. "I feel the same way. When I was looking for a place to live, I did look at some brownstones and even thought about getting out of the city, but it was just so much easier to work, live, and have her go to school in the same general area."

"Does this mean we're getting old?" he joked. "We're done with the excitement of the city and looking for the slow country life? Next, we'll be buying a rocking chair and sitting on the porch, watching the sun set."

I laughed, picturing us both clad in plaid shirts and worn jeans, waving at passing neighbors from our porch. "Maybe we're not becoming old, but wiser. We're learning to appreciate the beauty in simplicity."

"Wiser, huh?" Graham mused. "That just sounds like another word for old."

"Then maybe you should check your hearing," I joked.

"What was that?" he asked, cupping his hand to his ear. "You'll have to speak up."

"Oh, and don't forget, you said we could have a giraffe," I teased.

He chuckled. "And a dog, two cats, a garden, and I think there were some flowers requested. I honestly can't remember every detail of that conversation. Someone was making out with me and turning my brain to mush."

Just thinking about sex with him had me feeling flustered.

Graham cleared his throat. "I should probably go. I'm going to have a hard time walking out of here if we keep walking down Memory Lane."

"I miss you," I whispered.

"I miss you." He leaned in and kissed me softly, his hands cradling my face as he did so. I closed my eyes, cherishing the warmth of his lips against mine.

"I should go," he murmured, pulling away gingerly.

"One more kiss," I said and leaned into him.

He complied happily, his lips brushing mine a second time. His hand slipped into my hair, causing a thrill to shiver down my spine. The kiss was sweet, filled with longing and the promise of what we would have once we were alone again.

"Alright," he finally said, pulling away for the final time. His smile was tender as he brushed a loose strand of hair out of my face. "Goodnight."

I followed him downstairs and walked him to the door. I wasn't quite ready to say goodnight. I followed him to the elevator. "One more kiss," I whispered.

"You're playing with fire," he said with a growl.

"I can handle the heat," I retorted with a teasing smile. My heart was pounding as he leaned in and kissed me once more. He reached around and grabbed my ass, pulling me against him.

Just when I was about to pull him into my bedroom and pray Sloane didn't hear us, he pulled away.

"Goodnight," he said again. "I'll text you in the morning. Tomorrow will be a better day."

He stepped into the elevator and gave me a wave.

As the elevator doors slid shut, I waved back. "Sweet dreams."

I locked the door and turned off the lights, then knocked on Sloane's door. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Mom."

I made my way to my bedroom, took off my makeup, and smoothed on my face cream. I was not looking forward to the next day. The job I thought I was going to love turned out to be a nightmare. It had to get better. I couldn't quit after a single day.

I wasn't an heiress anymore. I had to work if I didn't want to drain my savings. I wanted to keep up the lifestyle I was used to. And more importantly, what Sloane was used to.

I climbed into bed and tried to sleep. Unfortunately, I couldn't. Graham's passionate kisses had left me feeling overheated. When we lived in the same house, I knew it was going to be impossible to stay away from him. I was drawn to him in a way that I couldn't ignore.

He was my drug, and I was addicted.