Chapter 5

After the interview, my heart was still pounding with the rush of adrenaline from seeing Graham again. I stepped out of the elevator and into the busy lobby. The smell of tacos came from a restaurant in the corner and the strong smell of coffee wafted from a café along the other wall.

I strolled through the lobby like I didn't have a care in the world and made my way outside. That was when I finally exhaled. All the feelings I'd been holding back came crashing down on me. My hands were shaking as I reached for my phone, knowing that Holly would be waiting for my call.

"Did you see him?" she asked eagerly, picking up on the first ring.

"I did. Kind of." I hesitated, unsure how to put into words the whirlwind of emotions that had swept through me during the interview, which he hadn't conducted.

"And?" she asked. "Were there sparks?"

"I don't know," I admitted. "It's complicated."

Holly let out an exasperated sigh on the other end of the line. "No shit, it's complicated. I want details. Is he still the same hot guy that you've been longing for all these years?"

"That's not what I've been doing," I said. "But yeah, he looked pretty damn good."

She groaned. "How did you get through the interview with him looking so good?"

"I didn't," I said. "I mean, he didn't do the interview. One of his partners did."

"Oh, that's weird. What kind of boss doesn't interview his own assistant?"

"I don't know," I replied. "I have a theory but it's dumb."

She laughed. "I love dumb theories. Lay it on me."

"You're going to make fun of me," I said, feeling bashful suddenly.

"Of course I'm going to make fun of you," Holly said, laughing. "That's what friends do. Now tell me your theory."

I smiled and shook my head. "I think he might have been a little nervous to see me."

She laughed. "Oh, wow. We must have picked the right outfit if you're feeling that confident."

I laughed too, knowing how it sounded. "Whatever, it makes sense to me. Like he knows he messed up by walking away without saying goodbye or anything. Maybe he regrets letting me go. He didn't want to look me in the eye."

"Meet me for lunch," she said. "We're going to unpack this together over drinks."

We quickly made plans, and I walked to get in my waiting car. I gave Michael the destination and then leaned back to replay the moment I saw Graham for the first time in nearly fifteen years. I couldn't shake off the rush of emotions it stirred within me. It was like a floodgate had been opened, releasing memories and feelings that I had long thought buried.

When I arrived at the restaurant where Holly was waiting for me, she slid a margarita across the table. "I have a feeling you need that."

I eagerly accepted it. "You have no idea."

"What happened?" she asked. "Tell me everything."

Taking a deep breath, I leaned forward. "It was strange, Holly. We ran into each other after the interview."

"Go on."

"Our eyes met for just a second, but I felt like it spoke volumes. It certainly kicked up a whirlwind of memories and unresolved feelings. And it was like time stood still." I swirled the straw in my drink. "Seeing him after all these years? It was overwhelming. There was so much I wanted to say, not that I had a chance to say it."

"Now that you saw him, what are you going to do?" she asked.

I grinned. "Well, I'll be seeing him again tomorrow."

"A second interview?"

"No. I got the job. I start tomorrow. I will be his executive assistant."

She whistled. "Just like that?"

I nodded. "Just like that."

"He basically wants you to be at his beck and call all the time?" Holly asked, her brow furrowed with concern. "Iz, you are not cut out to be someone's assistant."

"I can do it," I said with a shrug.

I knew what she was getting at, though. It was a big step down from my executive role at my last job, but this wasn't about the job. I wanted to get close to Graham and see what he was like.

"I can't picture you getting him coffee or picking up his dry cleaning," she said with a laugh. "Are you going to have your driver run you around while you run his errands? That can't be cost effective."

It was pretty funny when I thought about it. "Maybe," I said, chuckling.

"Just admit you took the job to scope him out. You want to see what he's like. See if he's ready to be a father?"

"I'm not denying that at all. I can't let just anyone around Sloane, even if he's her father."

"Did you mention her in the interview?" Holly asked, her expression serious.

"I did," I admitted, knowing that it was a risk but unable to ignore the truth. "But I didn't discuss her age. I didn't want Spencer to go back and tell Graham I have a fourteen-year-old daughter. He's not an idiot. He'd probably do the math and figure it out pretty quickly."

Holly nodded in understanding, a flicker of concern crossing her features. She reached out to squeeze my hand. "You're allowing him back into your life," she warned. "You're playing with fire."

"I know, I know," I said. "It's not like she's going to be popping by the office. I'm approaching all this cautiously."

"You won't be able to put any pictures of her on your desk," she said. "When you talk about her, which you know you will, you're going to have to choose your words carefully."

"You're right." I sighed, feeling doubt about the whole thing. Having to hide such a significant part of my life was daunting, but I had to protect Sloane above all else. Graham couldn't know about her. Not yet. It was a secret I had guarded fiercely, shielding Sloane from any potential fallout. "That's a bomb to be dropped at the right time."

"Don't be surprised if he ends up discovering it on his own. Or if Sloane does. She's a smart girl. I have no idea where she got that from."

I scoffed. "I'm smart."

"Is that why you're taking a job with the father of your child instead of just talking to him? Because you're so smart?" She laughed to take the sting out of it, and I joined in.

"Okay, fine, when you lay it out like that, it's not a flawless plan, but I can walk away at any time," I assured her, my voice firm. "I have kept this secret for fourteen years, and I can keep it a little longer."

Holly studied me with a concerned expression. "You should tell him sooner rather than later. Secrets like this have a way of exploding in your face when you least expect them to."

"I know," I replied quietly, my gaze drifting toward the window.

Our lunches were delivered. As we ate, I tried to imagine the moment Graham learned the truth. I wondered what his response would be. Relief? Anger? Would he even care? He had gotten to live his life with zero responsibilities. He was able to build his company from the ground up according to what Spencer told me. All six guys had devoted a lot of time and energy to building their business and they had all reaped the rewards of their work.

"You start tomorrow?" Holly asked after a while.

"Yes. It should be interesting."

She laughed. "To be a fly on the wall."

We finished our lunch and talked a bit about nothing in particular. I checked the time. "I have to go," I said. "Sloane has a swim meet this afternoon. One good thing about not having a job means I have all the time in the world to devote to her."

Holly laughed. "Just what every independent teenager wants."

"I think she likes it," I said. "As long as I don't say or do anything embarrassing. Then again, I embarrass her if I breathe wrong."

"I'll go with you," she said. "I have the day off. I haven't been to one of her meets in forever."

"She would love that." I smiled. "She thinks you're the cool one."

Holly nodded. "See? I told you that kid is smart."

We made our way to the swim meet and quickly found a seat. The smell of chlorine filled the air. Water splashed as swimmers raced back and forth in their lanes, and cheers echoed throughout the pool area. It was a familiar scene. Sloane had been swimming since she was two. She was my little mermaid. Her love for swimming had turned competitive. She was one of the best in her class at the ripe age of fourteen.

"Oh, there she is." Holly slapped at my arm.

I held my breath as she got on the starting block. The buzzer sounded and she dove into the water, her strokes strong and sure. My little girl surged ahead of the competition with ease. Holly and I both jumped to our feet to cheer her on.

This was the sort of thing that embarrassed her, but I didn't care. If I could be in that pool pushing her ahead, I would do it. And when she touched the wall, finishing first by a long shot, pride swelled within me.

Holly and I broke out into a loud celebration, clapping our hands and calling her name. Sloane emerged from the pool, her face flushed with exertion and excitement. She looked over and waved at us. I knew she was happy. She might be embarrassed, too, but I knew she liked it deep down.

Holly and I sat back down, waiting for the moment we could go over and talk to Sloane. We watched the rest of the meet and then Holly and I rushed to congratulate her, wrapping her in a tight hug.

"You were amazing out there," I said, my voice filled with genuine pride as I ruffled her damp hair affectionately.

Sloane shrugged off her victory with a modest, "Thanks, Mom," yet the bright gleam in her eyes betrayed her excitement. She turned to Holly. "And you are here?! How did that happen?"

Holly playfully nudged Sloane's shoulder. "Your mom dragged me out of my peaceful day off."

"Did you go to your interview?" Sloane asked.

I felt a twinge of guilt because I couldn't tell her the whole truth. The lie would have to continue for just a little longer. "I did."

"And? Are we going to be homeless?"

I rolled my eyes. "I got the job. I'm going to be working for Graham Russell."

Holly gave me a look.

"Doing what?" Sloane asked.

"I'll be an assistant," I replied as we walked toward the car.

"This is the guy you know from high school?" Sloane asked.

I had told her a little about the job but not everything. "He's just an old friend, Sloane. I don't really know him now."

Holly rolled her eyes, a knowing smirk on her lips. But Sloane didn't seem to notice. Her attention had already shifted to other things and she chatted excitedly about her plans for the future.

We got into the car with Sloane still talking. She was giving us full recaps about all the drama on the team. A couple of the girls had gotten into an argument. As Sloane chattered, I felt a pang of unease deep in my chest. The weight of my hidden secret settled heavily upon me, knowing that my new job was a big gamble.

We dropped Holly off before Michael drove us home. "I'll see you at eight o'clock sharp," I told him. "I can't be late for my first day."

"I'll be here Miss Harkins."

Sloane and I went up to our apartment. She went straight to her room to shower while I went to the kitchen to start dinner. Takeout would have been easier but I wanted to make the effort for my little girl, who wasn't so little anymore.

The panic about my new job was starting to set in. What the hell was I doing? This was the equivalent of kicking a hornet's nest and hoping everything worked out for the best. I knew what was going to happen.

At first, I wasn't sure if he would remember me, but the moment we saw each other, I knew he knew exactly who I was. He remembered everything. I didn't miss the flash of guilt in his eyes, either, when he looked at me. But I thought I saw something else.

It had been fleeting, but for the briefest moment, it was like looking into the eyes of the only man I had ever loved. I saw the affection I remembered seeing there in the past.

It was so strange to see him and not touch him. All those years before, we had been very affectionate. We literally could not keep our hands off each other. Sometimes it would be nothing more than him touching my back or me resting my hand against his chest, and one time we made a daughter.

I stood in the kitchen, stirring the pot, and took a little walk down memory lane. From casual glances from across the room when no one was looking, to the moment of passion when we were alone. When I saw him in the office, all of those memories came flooding back in seconds. It had been overwhelming.

I wondered if he felt that same rush and if he was still thinking about me like I was still thinking about him.