Chapter 23

Holly and I watched Sloane effortlessly glide through the water, every stroke smooth and graceful. My little girl was like a dolphin out there. Despite that, all the other girls in her race were keeping pace. This was some of the stiffest competition yet.

I cheered her on so loud I would probably be hoarse later, but there was no holding it back. Not that she would hear me over all the other parents screaming.

"Go, go, go!" I shouted.

"She's inching ahead," Holly cried.

I was proud and nervous as Sloane pushed herself harder than I'd ever seen her swim. Every year she got a little better. We talked about her swimming in college. Granted, she was only a freshman, but she had big dreams, and I was more than happy to keep supporting those dreams.

"She's winning," I squealed and shoved Holly in my excitement.

She steadied herself so she didn't tumble down the bleachers, shouting encouragement now too. We couldn't contain our excitement, jumping up and down and embracing each other tightly. Our cheers damn near shook the whole place.

She had done it again—winning her race and shaving a whole second off her best time. Pride swelled in my chest and my heart burst with joy for my little girl, who was growing up so fast.

"I knew she was going to win," Holly said.

"No, you didn't."

"Well, it's not like I bet against her," she retorted.

I looked at her, shocked. "You bet money on a child's swim meet?"

"No, but that's not a bad idea. I should talk to the other parents and get some betting going." Holly grinned at the notion. "We would make a fortune."

I shook my head. "Leave me out of it. Let's go congratulate Sloane."

We made our way down to meet her, but then I spotted Todd heading in her direction. I pulled Holly back and we exchanged a glance.

"I didn't know he was coming," I said.

"He better not be doing any ‘coming' with our little girl," Holly growled. "Have you talked to her about her date?"

"No, she slept in late and then we had to get here," I said. "Why?"

Holly looked a little nervous. "Sloane told me something last night."

My heart skipped a beat as I braced myself. "Was it terrible? Why are you being vague? Just freaking tell me already." I tried to keep my tone steady but I failed.

"She told me they kissed."

Sloane had confided in Holly about what I assumed was her first kiss. I shook my head, my mind racing with a million thoughts.

"I can't believe she told you," I murmured, my voice barely above a whisper. "Why wouldn't she tell me?"

Holly reached out, placing a reassuring hand on my arm. "Hey, it's okay. She's just nervous. You and I talked about this back when she was still in diapers. We said there might be a time when I had to play the cool aunt because it's not cool to tell your mom everything. Especially when it comes to boys."

I groaned, feeling my heart break a little. "I know, but I didn't think we were there yet. And I thought we had a really good relationship."

"You do," she insisted. "But you are her mom. Did you run home and tell your mom about your first kiss?"

"No, but me and my mom weren't all that close."

"She's going to tell you," she assured me.

"I can't believe she kissed a boy," I sighed.

"I talked to her about birth control and all that. And before you even ask, I told her to talk to you too. But you can't tell her I told you or she'll never tell me anything again."

I held up my hand to stop her. "I know, I know. Thank you for being there for her. I'll wait for her to come to me about it."

Finally, Sloane looked over and saw us. I waved back with a proud smile. She motioned that she was going to change before disappearing into the locker room. As I watched her go, I couldn't help but marvel at the strong, independent young woman she was becoming. It filled me with awe and gratitude for the privilege of being her mother.

I also felt like a total asshole, knowing I had deprived her father of this feeling so many times. Graham would probably love to feel this same pride about his daughter. He had made his choice to leave and never look back, but I had also made a choice to keep Sloane a secret.

Holly and I walked back to the bleachers.

I sighed. "What happened to that precocious little girl that used to bang pots and pans together?"

"In a blink of an eye, she's turned into a young woman with her own hopes, dreams, and secrets," Holly replied, gently patting my shoulder. "And that's exactly how it should be. It's your job to guide her, but also to let her spread her wings and fly."

"My brain knows that, but my heart is saying nuts to that. For years, being a good mom meant being on top of everything she did, and now I'm just supposed to give her space? I'm supposed to change just like that?" I snapped my fingers.

Holly laughed. "It sounds like you both are growing up."

"Ugh, I hate it," I said, shoulders slumping.

"So, I have a big date tonight," Holly announced.

I turned to look at her. "Oh yeah? Tell me everything. Who? Where did you meet him?"

"At the bar."

I groaned. "Holly."

"Not like a trashy bar," she defended. "It was a lounge. The kind of place that lawyers, doctors, and Wall Street types hang out."

"I know the place." I laughed. "Remember, I have gone with you on occasion."

She snorted. "Like twice."

"I'm a mom. A single mom. I don't have time. Tell me about the guy."

"He's nice and incredibly hot." She grinned. "I'm not looking for anything serious and neither is he. It's a fun distraction."

"Just be careful, okay? And text me all night so I know he's not trying to steal your life savings or your kidneys."

Holly shot me an offended look. "Right, because he couldn't possibly just find me attractive."

I shrugged. "I'm just saying, you have to be careful picking up random guys at the bar. It's really not smart."

"I'll be fine. We're just using each other for sex. Cheap, sweaty, tawdry sex." Holly shivered. "You should try it."

I snorted a laugh. "I have. That's how Sloane was born."

She chuckled and shoved my arm playfully. "Bull crap. You were in love with that man. There was nothing cheap about it."

"Except for how he left me," I said, surprised by how bitter I still felt about it sometimes.

Sloane emerged from the locker room, her face flushed with triumph.

"There's the big winner!" Holly said and pulled her in for a hug. "Great job."

"Thanks, Aunt Holly," Sloane said.

I joined in on the hug. "You were amazing out there. I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks, Mom."

"Alright, I have to go," Holly said. "Good stuff, kid. I'm pretty sure you have gills."

Sloane and I gathered up her things. "So, where do you want to go?" I asked.

She grimaced. "Actually, Mom, I got invited to a sleepover tonight. Is it cool if I stay at Tara's?"

My heart sank. I had been looking forward to our time together. She still needed to tell me about her date, and I figured this would be the perfect time. But I pushed aside my disappointment and plastered on a smile.

"Of course you can go to Tara's," I said, trying to sound enthusiastic. "Have fun with your friends."

Sloane's face lit up with excitement, and she reached out to squeeze my hand. "Thanks, Mom."

"Are you going over there right now?" I asked.

"I have time to grab lunch if you want," she offered.

It sort of made me feel like I was getting the consolation prize, but it was better than nothing.

"Burgers?" I asked.

"Yes. And a milkshake."

I smiled. "You deserve it. You worked up an appetite."

We picked up our usual order at the burger place by our building and headed to the park to enjoy the beautiful weather. While we were having our impromptu picnic, I got a couple of texts from Graham. I tried to be subtle when I read them, but Sloane noticed. Of course she did. She always had a keen eye for things like that.

"Okay, Mom. Who is he?" Sloane finally burst out.

"Who is who?" I asked, trying to brush it off.

Sloane wasn't having it. She knew me too well. "Come on, Mom," she insisted. "I can see the way you're smiling at your phone. Either your stocks are blowing up or that's a boy you like."

I sighed, realizing there was no use in hiding it any longer. If I wanted Sloane to confide in me, I had to be willing to do the same. "Alright," I relented. "But don't make a big deal out of it. It's just a guy I met at the benefit."

Sloane's eyes lit up with excitement. "Ooh, spill the tea, Mom!"

I chuckled, feeling a bit embarrassed. "There's not much to tell, really. We're just taking things slow, but yeah, I like him."

Sloane leaned in closer, a mischievous grin on her face. "That's why you're always smiling at your phone, right? Because you're texting him?"

I couldn't help but blush at her teasing. "Maybe," I admitted sheepishly.

Sloane's grin widened. "I knew it. Is he hot? Does he have a job?"

I cringed at the first question. If she only knew she was talking about her father. "He's very nice. And yes, he has a job."

"What does he look like?"

I had to choose my words carefully. "He is very tall," I started. "Brown eyes. His hair is a light brown, I guess. Some might call it a dark blonde. He's got a square jawline and is just, well, he's a very handsome man."

"When do I get to meet him? I have to make sure he's good enough for you." She shook her head. "Can't be too careful these days."

I laughed. "These days? How old are you?"

"Old enough to want to meet any guys trying to sweep you off your feet."

I shook my head. "Well, we're not at the meeting stage yet. I'm not even sure this is going to be serious. We've only recently met."

"I think you should go for it," she said. "You never date. I'm not a little kid. I'm dating. You should too. You deserve to be happy, too. And I don't want you to be all weird when I get a boyfriend."

"Speaking of which," I said. "What about you? How was your date with Todd?"

Sloane's cheeks turned a faint shade of pink as she shifted uncomfortably. "Um, well, we kissed," she confessed, her voice barely above a whisper.

I cheered internally that she had shared it with me. My celebration was quickly overwhelmed by maternal concern. My little girl was growing up so fast, and I still needed to be sure she was on the right path. "And?" I asked gently. "Was it special?"

Sloane smiled shyly, her eyes sparkling with happiness. "Yeah, it was," she admitted, her voice filled with excitement. "It was a bit awkward, but I felt connected to him. I don't know. I really like him."

I knew she had feelings for Todd, but I didn't want her to get hurt. First loves rarely ended well. Graham had been my first love, and that had turned into heartbreak overnight.

"Sweetheart, thank you for sharing that with me. Is there anything else you want to tell me about Todd?"

She hesitated. "No, why?"

"I just want you to know you can tell me anything," I told her. "If he is moving too fast or you decide you don't like kissing him, then don't."

Sloane bit her lip. "I don't want to get hurt, but I also don't want to miss out on something special. Todd is a nice guy."

"Love can be scary, but it can also be magical. Just don't forget that you are strong and capable of handling whatever comes your way. A little heartbreak on the way to true love is expected. It actually helps you grow."

"Tara broke up with her boyfriend and she cried for days," Sloane said. "I don't want that to happen."

"You'll be okay if it does happen," I told her. "It's not fun, but you'll survive. Time heals all wounds." Usually.

"How many times did you get your heart broken?"

I immediately thought of Graham. "There was a boyfriend a long time ago that devastated me."

"My dad?"

We were in dangerous territory. "Yes. But then I had you, and that made it all worth it."

We sat in comfortable silence for a moment, enjoying the warm breeze and the sound of birds. It was moments like these that I cherished the most, just me and Sloane, sharing a quiet moment together.

"I should probably get to Tara's," she said. "I don't want to be the last one."

I drove her to her friend's brownstone even though I didn't usually drive all that much, a massive five-story place a few blocks from our building. "Give me a call if you need anything, okay?"

She rolled her eyes but nodded. "I will."

We hugged each other before she got out of the car. I watched as she walked away. She stopped in front of the door and waved.

I drove home and was about to change into my yoga pants when I realized I didn't need to spend a night home alone. I reached for my phone and texted Graham.

My night is now wide open. If you want to do something, I'm free.

After I sent it, I cringed. Did that sound like a booty call? Were they still called "booty calls"? I had been out of the dating game so long, I didn't even know the terminology anymore.

Whether I sounded desperate or not, I had a feeling he wasn't going to be all that disappointed to get my message.

Unless he had other plans. Was he seeing other people? Like that vulture Anita?

Before I could work myself up into a rage, I dismissed the idea. No. I would know. I did his schedule. The man worked his ass off. And last night had felt special. The thing with Anita was way over, and it had never been serious in the first place. I trusted him on that.

Now I just wanted his arms around me again.