Chapter 13

"Where are you going?" Graham asked when we stepped onto the tarmac.

"My driver is here to pick me up," I answered. "I'll be going straight home. There's no need for you to go out of your way to drop me off."

Hurt flashed in his eyes. He had been expecting me to ride with him. Truthfully, that had been the plan, but I decided to end the misery for us both and get my own ride home.

"Understood," he said and walked to his waiting car without another word.

I settled into the seat, my mind still reeling from the events of the last twenty-four hours. I was glad to be back in the safety of my own car with my regular driver. It was safe here.

I glanced at the missed call from Holly. She had called when we were in the air. I wasn't about to talk to her with his big ears listening in. He would run and tell his buddies all about the cold fish he was stuck spending the night with.

I sent her a quick text, promising to call her later. Another missed call was from my father. We hadn't spoken since I walked out of his office. He was probably wondering where I was. I wouldn't be surprised if he just now figured out I had actually quit. He had probably assumed I was throwing a tantrum and was sitting at home.

I did feel a little guilty thinking about the strained relationship between my father and me, but he had driven the wedge between us, not me. I pushed the thought aside. There were more pressing matters at hand, more important things to focus on than my fractured relationship with my dad.

"We'll be picking up Sloane," I told Michael.

"I'll head there now."

I thought about Sloane but not in the usual way. I had an immense amount of mom guilt that I never found her a father. Initially, I always thought I would find someone to fill that role. But there was just always something holding me back. One birthday after another I told myself I was going to tell her about her father but it never happened.

When the car pulled up at the private school she attended, I spotted Sloane outside, talking to a boy. My heart skipped a beat at the sight of her. She was my whole heart. It had been just me and her for her entire life and what kind of felt like my whole life. When she was born, I felt my world shift. I didn't even know it was possible to love someone that much. It was as if my heart was outside of my body.

The long nights of colic and then teething and of course the occasional cold were all worth it to see her now. She looked so grown up, so confident, and I marveled at the young woman she was becoming.

I watched them interact for a moment, smiling. She's growing up and boys are in our future. I'm not sure I'm ready for it, but she's growing up. I should be terrified at the idea of her dating, but I didn't want to be one of those overbearing mothers who treated her like a child forever.

As the car idled, my gaze went to the boy Sloane was talking to. He was tall, his posture relaxed, head nodding at whatever Sloane was saying. His light-colored hair glinted under the sun. Honestly, he reminded me a lot of Graham.

Like mother like daughter.

I knew there was a saying about girls being drawn to men that resembled their fathers. Did that apply to girls that didn't even know who their fathers were?

Sloane looked over and saw me. She waved at the boy, rushed to the car, opened the back door, and slid into the back seat.

"Mom, what are you doing here?" she asked.

"I got in early," I replied, reaching out to ruffle her hair affectionately. "I thought I'd surprise you and pick you up for once."

Sloane's eyes widened in delight. "That's awesome!" she exclaimed, her voice bubbling with enthusiasm. "Can we go home and get in comfy clothes and order takeout?"

I chuckled at her eagerness. "Of course, sweetheart," I said, returning her hug with equal fervor. "Anything you want."

I was grateful we had a good relationship. My mother and I didn't have a super close relationship when I was young. I loved her and I knew she loved me, but she was always so busy. And I was a bit of a snot. I was so glad Sloane was a good kid. I felt very fortunate.

We got home and Sloane and I went to our rooms and quickly changed into our comfy clothes. Before high school, comfy clothes, Chinese takeout, and Netflix were our Saturday night. The older she got, the fewer nights we had like this. I wanted to take advantage of every night we got together.

She'd always been so independent, so self-assured, and yet there was still a sweetness about her that never failed to melt my heart.

We settled onto the couch. "What do you want for dinner?"

"I'm thinking General Tso's Chicken," she replied, naming her favorite takeout order. "Oh, and don't forget the crab rangoons."

I laughed and navigated through the food delivery app on my phone, ticking off her requests. We'd had this meal countless times together, over countless conversations about school, dreams, fears, boys—discussions that would inevitably leave me feeling proud of the woman she was maturing into.

I placed the order. She had the remote and was busy scrolling through the list of movies, her brows furrowing in concentration. It was a look so reminiscent of Graham that it caught me off guard for a moment. Nostalgia tugged at my heartstrings.

She laughed at something on the screen. Her laughter had always been the best sound in the world. Even as a baby, whenever she'd laugh, I'd always feel as though everything was right with the universe. It filled me with warmth and happiness, making me forget about all my worries.

"Mom, what do you think about watching The Princess Bride?" she asked.

I recalled her watching it for the first time years ago, curled up in my lap as we giggled at the outlandish antics of Westley and Inigo Montoya.

"I think that sounds like a great idea." I smiled.

After spending time with Graham this last week, I now saw the similarities between them. People always said she looked like me, but now that I looked at her, I saw Graham. She had his nose and his lanky body. She had my blonde hair, but her eyes were all him.

"What did you have to do in Boston?" Sloane asked.

"There was a client that got cold feet," I said. "I met her last week. She requested I be at this emergency meeting."

"Look at you," she teased.

"It was fun," I said. "I never thought I would like marketing, but it's exciting."

"Who was the guy in your room this morning?" she asked.

I almost choked. "What?"

"The guy. The one that waved before you hung up."

"He's my boss," I explained.

"You know him," she said. "Or I hope you do, since he was just in a towel."

"We went to high school together," I answered, keeping things vague. "He was a couple of years older, so we didn't hang out much."

"He seems nice," she said.

"He is. He gave me a chance. I'm grateful to him. Who was the young man you were talking to after school?"

She grinned. "Todd."

"And?" I prompted.

"And he's on the swim team. He's a sophomore and I don't know. He's nice."

"Do you like him?"

"I don't know." She shrugged. "Kind of. We're just friends."

"Just make sure he treats you right, okay?"

"I know," she said.

"And if it turns out that you like him, I would like to meet him," I said.

"I know, I know," she groaned.

We dug into our Chinese food and lost ourselves in the movie. I couldn't help but notice every little gesture and facial expression. I kept comparing her to Graham.

"Why do you keep looking at me?" she frowned. "Do I have a booger?"

I laughed. "No. Sorry. I was just thinking how beautiful you are, and I hate that you keep getting older. I want to stop you from growing up."

"Yeah right." She snorted. "You're going to love it when I'm out of your hair."

"No, I won't! And you are never getting out of my hair. I will lock you in your room."

After a while, the movie credits rolled. I reached over and carefully took the remote from Sloane, who had passed out about half an hour earlier. Her gentle snores filled the room. I watched her sleep for a couple of minutes, my mama heart close to bursting with love for her.

She deserved to know the truth about Graham and the complicated history. But I can't bring myself to shatter her fragile innocence. Not yet. I'll have to tell her one day, but that's not today. Not until I can get an idea of where Graham's head is at.

I started to clean up when my phone vibrated. I glanced down and saw Holly's name flashing on the screen. I debated whether to answer. I really just wanted to go to bed.

"Hey, Holly," I answered.

"I'm dying here," she said. "You told me you were going to tell me what happened."

"I'm sorry. I'm just really tired right now. Can we talk tomorrow?"

Holly chuckled. "Must be something scandalous if you're too tired to spill the tea. Maybe you were up too late last night?"

I rolled my eyes. "Nothing scandalous, I promise. Just a long day. We can catch up tomorrow, okay?"

I heard Sloane stirring. I wasn't about to discuss the Graham situation and risk Sloane overhearing me.

"Sorry, Holly, I have to go," I quickly said. "Sloane's awake. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"We'll get lunch tomorrow," she said.

"Sure, fine," I murmured.

Sloane sat up and rubbed her face. "I missed the end."

"Yes, you did." I laughed. "Did you have a good nap?"

"I guess I was more tired than I thought. I'm going to go to bed."

"I hope you didn't have any homework," I said.

"No."

"Goodnight," I said and gave her a hug.

"Night, Mom," Sloane replied sleepily and ambled off toward her room. I watched her go, my heart heavy with the unspoken secrets and truths I was keeping from her.

Cleaning up the takeout containers and half-finished dinner plates helped calm my nerves somewhat. The mundane task gave me something to focus on that wasn't about Graham or Sloane.

I loaded the dishwasher, took my vitamins, and headed upstairs to bed.

I put on my night cream, looking at my reflection in the mirror. I wasn't the same young woman I had been when Graham first noticed me. Clearly, he still found me attractive even with the changes I could see.

Getting into bed, I reached over to switch off the lamp. The room was instantly plunged into darkness. I lay there trying to sleep, but my mind stubbornly refused to rest. Instead, it conjured up memories from the past. Memories of Graham and me. I could see him so clearly in my mind's eye, his boyish grin, his disheveled hair, the way he would kiss me goodnight.

I remembered the first time we met and the last time I ever saw him.