21. Sebastian

“Come on, Seb. We’re finally alone. It’s been weeks.”

I looked down at my One, torn. He wasn’t wrong. We were finally alone. My family had visited for a week, with Papa agreeing to stay on and stay with Drew while I was at work wrapping things up in preparation for our baby’s arrival. And he was right. It had been weeks since we’d been intimate. But I was terrified of hurting him. I knew he wasn’t weak, but he had struggled so much since the beginning of his pregnancy.

I looked down at Drew again. “Please? Just touching, if nothing else?”

I picked Drew up, causing him to squeal and then giggle. I’d really missed those sounds. He was doing a lot better, but he still had moments where his body said nope and he had to lie down. He took it more seriously than he had before, and that helped me feel better about still going to work. Master Edison had offered to put me on leave early, but I was holding out for a bit longer.

“You have to promise me you will just lie there. I do the touching. No physically exerting yourself. Promise?”

Drew’s smile dropped. “Where’s the fun in that?”

“That’s what I can offer, cutie. I want you just as much as you want me, but I want you to be healthy more. I’m afraid if you exert too much energy, you might become quite ill.”

Through our bond, I felt Drew’s mood drop. I stopped at the top of the stairs and looked down at him. “That isn’t romantic. I don’t want to be a lump. I want to participate. I want to touch you. Get to know your body again.”

I felt for him, I did. “I know. And I want the same with you. But you have to understand my concern as well.”

“Dr. King said I could still have sex.”

I sighed. “Yes. As long as it wasn’t physically exerting. That means you are not going to ride me like you’ve been projecting to me through our bond.” Drew started to argue, but I stopped that with a look. “No. I promise we will do that very thing just as soon as you have the baby and are feeling up to it. But for now, you either go without, same as me, or you lie there and let me bring you pleasure.”

I could see Drew struggling with what he wanted. I understood, but he was pregnant, and it hadn’t been easy. He’d needed to rest, and I wasn’t going to take any chances.

“Just a little?”

I shook my head. “You are due in three weeks. We can just go back downstairs and snuggle on the couch some more.” There had been very few moments in the two weeks since he’d fainted that we had finally been alone. It was difficult to do anything when you had an overly protective papa who was watching your One’s every move. Thankfully, I’d gotten a message to Caspian, who in turn told Father, who let Papa know he really missed him and wanted him to come home for the weekend. That meant Drew and I would be home together all weekend. I understood his urgency, I truly did. But I couldn’t help but worry.

“Yeah, I’ll wait,” Drew said. “Can you put me down?” Drew started wiggling. I set him on his feet, simply because he asked, and I could feel the hurt through our bond. Drew started toward our room, and I followed at a slower pace. He crawled up on the bed, rolling away from me.

Not wanting him to be upset or hurt, I climbed onto the bed in front of him, immediately pulling him into my arms.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“I know. I’m just horny. I can’t help it. It’s part of being pregnant. And when your mate tells you that he won’t have sex with you, it stings a little.”

I felt as if I’d been slapped. That’s exactly what I’d done but with good intentions. I didn’t want to hurt him. I didn’t want to cause him to go into labor or worse.

“In a perfect world, you would have had an easy pregnancy and we could do all the things we both wanted.”

“In a perfect world, I wouldn’t be your One because you wouldn’t have been made to wait so long for your forever person.”

I wanted to argue but couldn’t. He was most likely correct, and that thought wasn’t a good one. I knew that if I’d met my One a century ago, I wouldn’t give Drew much of a thought. I held him a bit tighter because I had met him, and he was my One, and I’d hurt him. It hadn’t been intentional, but I’d done it all the same.

“Please forgive me,” I whispered. I kissed the top of his head, wondering if our lives would ever go back to somewhat normal. Would we ever get back what we’d had in Spain? Sure, we were going to have a baby in a few weeks, but my parents had three children, and they were still very much in love.

“I’m not upset, Seb. I just would rather not bother if it’s going to be one-sided. That’s not joyful for me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m not mad at you. I understand your stance. I honestly do. You said we could just cuddle, so that’s what I would rather do.”

I wanted to kick myself now. I was so incredibly torn. The need to see to Drew’s every need was strong. But that also included ensuring he didn’t get hurt.

“We can call Dr. King and see what he has to say. Would that make you feel better?”

“Not really. Nothing says sexy like having to stop and call your doctor to ask permission to have sex.”

I winced. He was getting the hits in this morning. I rolled onto my back and stared up at the ceiling.

“Do you want to talk about baby names?” Drew asked. He pushed up on his elbow and was staring at me. I absolutely did not want to talk about baby names. I liked all of the ones we’d already picked out.

“Sure. Did you have new ones you were interested in?”

Drew shrugged. “Not really. But I’m bored, and I really don’t know what else to do. I need something to keep me occupied. Everything’s ready for the baby except me. She or he is still working on getting ready, and that’s fine. But what am I supposed to do? I’ve finished three crossword books, I’ve played more video games than I ever have, and I just feel like there’s nothing left to do.”

“Would you like to sit out back? We could lie out on the back deck and soak up the morning sun. Would fresh air make you feel better?” I was grasping at straws here.

Drew shrugged, but when he sat up, then scooted to the edge of the bed and stood, I took that to mean he wanted to go outside. I helped Drew down the stairs, but as we approached the back door, we both realized it was wet outside.

“When did it rain?”

I looked down at Drew. “It’s still raining, it looks like. I didn’t realize it was supposed to rain today though. I can use magic and put a cover over us if you still want to go outside.”

Drew sighed as he shook his head. “Naw. I’ll just go back upstairs and take a nap. Maybe that will work out in my favor somehow.”

Drew managed to make it halfway up the stairs before my brain kicked in. I hurried to help him, and when I wrapped my hands around his hips from below, he started climbing again.

I helped get him to our bed, and when he sighed, I felt it through our bond. He wasn’t actually tired. He felt as if he was full of energy, which was unusual for him as of late. “Are you sure you wish to nap?” I whispered close to his ear.

“Yep. I don’t know what else to do, Seb. I’ve watched TV. I’ve read, I can’t go for a walk, even if it wasn’t raining. You just fed me, so what does that leave me? Everything is ready for the baby, so now I just get to be bored.”

I stood there a moment, feeling Drew through our bond. He was frustrated, which was understandable. I would never forgive myself if anything happened to him and the baby. But I couldn’t just let my mate be frustrated like he was. Not when I could do something to help him.

I carefully climbed in behind him once more, this time sliding him into the middle with a little bit of magic. “Are you comfortable?” I asked just before I leaned closer and kissed the side of his neck.

Drew sighed. “Yeah. As comfortable as I’m going to be.”

I smiled. I hoped that in just a bit, he’d be a whole lot more relaxed, but not more than that. I did not want him to become stressed nor have anything happen to the baby. I would be very careful and make sure he didn’t exert any energy.

I continued kissing along his neck, and it took Drew a few moments to realize what I was doing. He had been relaxed, but then he suddenly stiffened and tried to pull away.

“Please don’t. I don’t want it that way.”

“What way?”

“Whatever this is. I want you to want me completely, without worry. Can we just cuddle?”

That cut just as much as what he’d said before. I realized I’d hurt my One much deeper than I’d thought. “I want you,” I told him. “We can just cuddle though.” I lay down behind him and wrapped my arm around his chest. “I can’t help but worry about you, Drew. You’ve had a hard time with this pregnancy, and there would be something wrong with me if I didn’t worry. If I could, I would go back fifteen minutes and take back my words saying you had to just lie here.”

Drew tried to roll over, but it didn’t work with me so close to him. I didn’t have a whole lot of room to back up since I was fairly close to the edge of the bed, but when Drew rolled away, he continued on until he was lying facing me. “What do you mean?”

I reached out and touched his cheek. “I love you. I never want to cause you hurt or pain or disappoint you. I never wish to not fulfill you in any way. Trust me when I say that I still very much desire you in every way. I would Love to be with you in that way, but yes, I will worry about your health. I cannot help that.”

Drew sighed. “I know. And I’m not upset. Not really. Frustrated, but I understand. I shouldn’t be so greedy. If I had been happy with being selfish, we would both be naked.”

I chuckled. “You are most certainly not what I would ever call greedy or selfish. Would you like to see the baby? Would that cheer you up since sexual release seems to be off the table at this point?” I didn’t know what to do to cheer him up. On one hand, he loved seeing the baby. But at the moment, it was that very baby that was causing him so much frustration.

“Hmm…yeah. Show me the booger. Not even born yet, and already interrupting my magical D time.”

My own spirits plummeted. I didn’t know what to do for Drew or how I would ever make it up to him. He deserved so much more than what he was currently getting though. “What can I do to help?”

“Nothing. It’s all just a side effect of being pregnant. Can I still see the baby?”

I stared at Drew for a long moment before I nodded at him. I rolled onto my back and moved closer to him, allowing him to lay his head on my shoulder. When he was comfortable, I closed the blinds with magic and then projected the baby in the air in front of us.

“Oh, look how much our little booger has changed.”

I couldn’t help but smile. “Yes. Only three weeks left. I’m not a doctor, and it’s different for each different species. But I think at this point, our little one is just filling out. The lungs are working on getting ready, but everything else is fully developed, I think.”

Drew moved his hand on my chest, and I couldn’t resist placing mine over his. I would make it all up to him. Just as soon as he recovered enough from having the baby, we were going to make up for everything he missed out on while he went through his pregnancy. I had plans for traveling with him and our little one, as well as hopes of some quick solo trips once the baby was a little older and Drew was willing to leave the baby with my parents.

“You’re thinking awfully hard there about something.”

I chuckled. “You peeked but backed out instead of checking my thoughts. I was thinking about traveling with you after the baby was born. It will be easy enough to take the baby with us, and we can explore even more beautiful beaches. What do you think?” There were places other than beaches where I wanted to take Drew, but he was especially drawn to the ocean. I couldn’t say I blamed him, really. It was calming. It could also turn deadly in the blink of an eye though.

“Can we really travel with the baby?”

“Why not? It’s not as if we have to get on a plane and fly somewhere. I can just as easily conjure a bottle in Spain as I can Montana. Same goes for England. Or France. Or Italy. A baby shouldn’t stop us from traveling unless we wish to remain at home.”

I felt Drew nod against my shoulder. “That should be fun. I know you will only take us places that are safe, but I look forward to having more fun traveling with you. We have time to decide where to go first though, because I don’t think either of us will want to go very far for a little while.”

He wasn’t wrong. I figured we’d spend at least the first month home just trying to get adjusted to a different schedule: our baby’s.

“Can you answer something for me?”

“Hmm? What is it you want to know.”

“It’s been itching at my brain, but you and Benjamin are cousins, right? But you have different last names. But you’re from the same line, and they were all males, so shouldn’t the last names be the same?”

I chuckled because that was so incredibly far from what I expected. “True. It’s really very simple, actually.” I didn’t really know where to start. “So we have my huge family, but how we’re directly related was Frederick and Oliver had eight children. Two of those eight children were Hamilton and Rainier.”

“But isn’t Rainier Benjamin’s father?”

“He absolutely is. And Rainier’s brother is my grandfather, Hamilton. When Hamilton met his One, Maryann, he took her last name, Ainsworth. That’s how we got the last name we have. Maryann and Hamilton had five children, and my father Benedict is one of those five.”

“Wait, so, your father and Benjamin are actually cousins?”

I chuckled. “Yes. And Benjamin is actually my second cousin. My cousin Frederick is my first cousin. The warlock that was with me the day we met? His father is Edmund, who is one of my father’s brothers.”

Drew sighed deeply. “You have such a crazy big family tree. I guess that can be said for anyone with ancestors who decide to have eight kids. But that really makes sense. But why did your grandfather decide to take his One’s last name?”

“Mostly because it was time to move on once more. He decided why not use her last name and just keep his first name. We’ve had that last name ever since.”

“All those years?”

I chuckled as I thought about it. “It doesn’t make sense now that you mention that. But yeah, my entire life, I’ve been an Ainsworth. I’m not sure why. I never met Hamilton. He was gone before I was born.”

“But Rainier is still alive.”

“Rainier is the youngest, and by over a century. Even then, he’s still older than most warlocks lived to be before we were all given immortality.”

Drew sighed. “I’m glad you were paired with me. I don’t really understand why since my family is nothing like yours is, but I like them.” Drew moaned. “Even your father. He’s intimidating, but I know he’s a kind man, and he loves you.”

“He is, and he does. Times were so drastically different when I was growing up. Like so many, a lot of my older family is gone, and I have no doubt that losing them affected the ones left behind. I know Rainier asks why him? Why is it that he was left behind after losing all of his brothers.” It was sad and didn’t make sense, but it was what it was. There were many aspects of life that didn’t make sense.

Drew yawned, which surprised me. Not long ago, he’d been full of energy. Yet now, when I checked in on him again through our bond, that energy had drained away. I let go of the image of our baby that had been projecting in the air all this time.

“Are you ready for a nap?” I asked.

“I guess. It’s always relaxing seeing our baby. I’m glad Dr. King showed you how to do that. I feel the baby kick, but it’s reassuring to see the baby as well.”

I had to agree. I could sense the baby’s aura, and Drew could hear the baby’s heartbeat if he listened closely enough, but seeing the baby’s image projected was more, and it was an amazing feeling.

“Rest,” I whispered. “I’ll make sure you and our baby are watched over.” Drew’s nod was subtle, and moments later, I felt him drop off into sleep yet again. I knew he was tired of sleeping and having no real amount of energy for extended periods of time, but the end was close. He’d give birth soon, and my hope was that he would start to recover shortly after. I would be here to take care of our little one, allowing him all the time to rest and spoil our baby with cuddles. That sounded like a dream. Now, if only it were possible.