Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen

“HEY, ISKyle’s last name Zigler, by any chance?”

Vic squinted at his sister. He’d taken the day off from the Snow Circus, not even willing to enter the market. “Why? I don’t want you to find him on social media and give him a stern talking to on my behalf or anything.”

“No, no, it’s not that.” Vic and Valerie had missed each other the night before, Vic long asleep by the time Valerie got home from her shift. He’d texted her at work, explaining that he’d been stood up and therefore would need at least two pints of ice cream and a bottle of merlot. She hadn’t responded, so Vic ate her rocky road out of spite.

He’d spent most of the day wasting time on his phone, reading different articles about things he’d barely heard of. At least now he was an expert on the history of the Windsor family line. Silver linings!

Valerie crossed the living room to the couch, curling up next to Vic. She wore a T-shirt and pajama bottoms, needing to sleep into the early afternoon to recover from work. “While I was on shift last night, there was a kid. He’d had an allergy attack. Apparently ate a candy bar and didn’t know he was allergic to coconut. His dad’s name was Kyle Zigler.”

Vic dropped his phone. It landed on his chest. “Are you serious? What time was this?” Kyle’s vulnerable voice echoed in his head from only days ago, but it felt like years by now. She would make up the oddest things—suddenly being allergic to coconut, eggplant, peanuts.

“About two hours after I clocked in. Probably half past nine.”

“Oh geez, is he okay?” Vic froze as he contemplated this. He ran through the bitter e-mails he almost sent but hadn’t, picturing them poisoning Kyle’s phone screen as he sat anxiously at his son’s bedside. The e-mail he’d actually sent was pretty tame in comparison, but now he felt bad for even considering it.

Valerie nodded, stretching. “Yeah, he was okay. He ended up going home after a few hours. I was the one who checked Kyle out and gave him all his paperwork and instructions. He seemed grateful but tense. Tall guy, kinda quiet, wavy hair?”

Vic nodded, slowly pulling himself to sit up. He thought guiltily of his first assumptions—that Kyle had abandoned him, that he was secretly laughing at him for taking the date seriously. Nothing about Kyle’s personality suggested that. Vic had presumed based on own his past and nothing else.

He clearly had not healed enough for this. “Hey, Val… do you know if Violet still lives on that island in Michigan? The one where there’s no cars allowed?”

Valerie frowned as she braided her strawberry blonde hair, separating out the strands. “Yeah. Why?”

Vic didn’t give himself the luxury of a deep breath, of hesitation. “Does she still have that guest room?”

KYLE DIDN’Tknow which would be worse; not responding to Vic’s e-mail at all, or responding a full twelve hours later.

He’d been too tired to even contemplate it when he finally made it home the night before. It was all he could do to make the kids something to eat before bed. Alice had been full of nervous energy, printing out a list of foods that had coconut in them and reciting it in full as she fluttered around her younger brother. Zach had just wanted to collapse into bed and sleep.

Kyle decided the best thing would be to wait until lunch on Thursday to apologize in person. He arrived at Vic’s booth, armed with a cinnamon roll and a latte from a café Vic had casually mentioned liking. It wasn’t easy to keep them both hot on the walk over, but through carefully positioning them between his mittened hands, he managed.

Not that it mattered.

“Vic isn’t coming in today,” Gloria said apologetically. “He sent a message saying he was sick, but I haven’t heard from him since.” Today’s wig was dandelion yellow, matched by a pair of laughing emoji earrings the size of ping-pong balls.

Kyle tried to hide the guilt that rushed through him, but he’d never managed to maintain a poker face. Apparently, his expression said it all.

“Did you two ever meet up for that date?” she asked gently.

Kyle shook his head. Both the pastry and the coffee had turned cold in his hands—or maybe that was just him. “Family emergency. I couldn’t make it.”

Gloria sighed. “Come back tomorrow, honey. I’ll tell him you stopped by.”

Kyle almost told her not to. Was Vic avoiding him? Was he pushing boundaries by even showing up here? If he truly was being a creep, he hoped Gloria would set him straight out of pure motherly instinct. Instead, she smiled sympathetically. “I wouldn’t mind coffee and a snack, if you don’t have another use for it.” Kyle nodded and handed them over.

He couldn’t bring himself to eat lunch at the Snow Circus. He knew he should have something—a light seemed to go on in Jan’s cubicle whenever he skipped his midday meal. He went to the closest place he could find, some sort of corner store deli and grabbed a sandwich wrapped in plastic.

He took a bite and immediately regretted it. The sandwich was tasteless and soggy as a mouthful of greasy cardboard. Kyle suspected it was a glimpse into what life without Vic would be like—manageable, but bland and lukewarm. He didn’t even finish it.

Work passed in a blur. He jumped on any work assignment that didn’t demand too much thought or creativity, mainly fixing some minor coding issues. Thinking about Vic made him overanxious, but not thinking about him didn’t seem possible. As the day dragged past, he found himself staring at his computer screen, unable to finish anything, but too upset to focus. He didn’t even want to consider Vic’s web page.

He’d temporarily closed the site for its final round of maintenance, so it was only accessible to Kyle and Vic himself. Despite himself, though, at the end of the day he found himself pulling up that exact URL before he even noticed.

Well. No matter what there is or isn’t between us, Vic is still my client. It’d be a violation of our contract if I left his website only partlyfinished. Despite his regrets, Kyle calmed down a little as he worked on the website. The colors he had envisioned, the fonts—he even got the little knitting needles loading icon perfectly animated.

There was just one more thing to add. One he hadn’t originally planned….

JUST LIKEclockwork—dependable, consistent clockwork—Kyle was there.

Well, except for that one time.

Vic wasn’t surprised to see him at the Snow Circus, at the same time he always arrived, with a latte and pastry in-hand. Gloria had told Vic about the day before. “I thought, if you didn’t show up again, I’d give you a call. I wasn’t going to say no to another cinnamon bun, but I was hoping it wouldn’t come to that.”

She’d kept market gossip to a minimum, which Vic knew was a struggle for her, but she was a loyal friend before she was a chatterbox. None of the other vendors knew anything was amiss, figuring this was just one of Kyle’s many visits. But wasn’t it, was it?

“Hey, I….” Kyle looked at him so hesitantly, something twisted in Vic’s chest. “Is this a good time?”

“Yeah.” Vic forced a smile, putting up the little Be Right Back sign he’d made for when he left the booth to eat lunch with Kyle.

Kyle didn’t smile back.

They both were quiet while walking toward the rink, their usual spot to talk. Kyle fidgeted nervously, fingers combing through the fringe of his scarf like he always did when edgy. Always? Vic chided himself. It’s been, what, a few weeks? It was a fling. It was never that deep. He sipped his coffee, his thoughts silenced as he realized it was a caramel latte. He’d probably mentioned his favorite to Kyle once.

This was going to hurt.

“Look,” Kyle said, leaning against the outer wall of the rink. “I’m so sorry I missed our date. It was a family emergency—one of the kids had a bad allergic reaction to something and the timing was just—awful.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I know I should have let you know—should have e-mailed you, at least, told you what was going on. And I swear, this isn’t an excuse. I have the paperwork and everything—”

“Yeah, uh… I heard it through the grapevine.” Vic was tempted to tell Kyle he’d unknowingly met his sister, but he wasn’t clear on how privacy laws worked for nurses. “I’m glad Zach’s okay.”

Kyle visibly relaxed. He took a breath as if he hadn’t inhaled in years. “Yeah, uh… coconut. Can you believe it? Even though I figured Julie was lying, I got used to not having it in the house, but the kids were over at Lloyd’s. I was just on my way out the door….”

Vic patted him on the shoulder. The motion felt stiff and unnatural. “Don’t sweat it, bud. I get it. I don’t hold a grudge or anything. He’s your kid.” Kyle’s gem-like eyes looked puzzled. Vic had never called him—or anyone else, for that matter—bud. Before he could ask, Vic decided to just rip off the Band-Aid. “Say, ever hear of Mackinac Island? It’s in Michigan. Another one of my sisters has been living there for a while and apparently, there’s a nice little artist’s colony there. Pretty bohemian. The Snow Circus will be wrapping up after New Year’s, and I’m pretty sure I’m going to head up there. And, you know, it’s not because of a long-distance relationship, so I figure it’ll be—” He didn’t know how to finish that sentence.

Kyle stayed silent, nodding in slow-motion. “So… still living with one of your sisters, but… somewhere else?”

Vic knew what he was asking. Is there any difference between here and there that isn’t me? “It’s more of a touristy place. More vacationers, more word-of-mouth. It seems like a great opportunity.”

Vic wouldn’t look directly at Kyle’s face. He didn’t think he could. But he heard a harsh exhale of breath. “Yeah,” Kyle said finally. “You’d fit right in. You’d stop being a big fish in a small bowl, for sure.”

The rest of their conversation was halting, with so many pauses, their usual dynamic felt like a garment that was more patches than original fabric. They didn’t mention anything romantic. That Saturday night in the snow globe might never have happened. They talked mostly about other seasonal markets in the area, how the themes changed based on which holiday was closest.

“Well, I should get going…,” Kyle said. Vic didn’t bother to point out that it was at least ten minutes earlier than Kyle usually left. “I’ve done some more work on your website, by the way. Let me know if you like it. And when you know your new address, send it to me so I can update it on the home page, okay?”

Vic nodded. Tomorrow was the weekend, and only a few days before Christmas Eve. Kyle wouldn’t have many more lunch breaks—or excuses to visit the market. Vic kept telling himself it was better that way. After all, if he didn’t end it now, would he end it months later? Years? Go back to his defensive habit of pushing people away before they abandoned him on their own accord? And what if those kids got attached to him?

No.

He couldn’t do that to any of them. Kyle, Alice, or Zach.

It was better this way.

Vic had to believe that.