39. Chapter Thirty-Nine

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Dominick

I felt sick. I never got seasickness, but I wondered if the queasy feeling in my belly and the pain in my chest was what it felt like. It really was horrid, and I was grateful I had never had it before. Dark thoughts misted around within me, and my veins pulsed with pain. I had taken upon myself pain so often that it was almost comforting at times. But at that moment, what was happening to my heart was the worst pain I had ever endured.

I need this pain–this ache–to end.

I paced back and forth in the hall, looking for something–anything to do, but all I could think of was Meria and him . That vile man who did not deserve her, whom she loved.

Loves.

She loves him.

He had come for her, her betrothed. I should have known. No one could easily give up such a person, or mermaid, as her.

She is–What is she? She is nothing to me–right?

I shook my head. My heart pierced with a pain that seemed to poison my core, my soul, my very being.

No, she is everything, and of course, I would lose her–lose everything.

She loved him. I heard the words from him, confessing his love, and I saw their embrace.

I had come to the door to tell her that it was time to go ashore, and I paused there, hearing voices. I was too curious for my own good. Maybe, I should have simply knocked. Maybe, then, I would not have had to listen to those sickening words, to the love confession and see the embrace. I knew they had kissed before; had they kissed again?

I had so much pain in my veins and within my history, so that one might think that nothing at that point could even faze me, and yet, that pain, the pain of seeing Meria in the arms of someone else caused an injury that was more acute than any other I had ever felt. I would have taken all the pain I had ever felt before, tenfold, in order to rid myself of that new pain; it seeped inside my heart and my soul. I needed something to take it away. I was going to die from it.

“What is the matter?” Sands asked, far too perceptive for his own good.

“I need a drink.”

“You have water in your pocket, like always,” Sands said as if it were a joke. I turned to him, shoved my fist at his throat and pulled him by his collar into my face.

“I need a drink, now,” I growled at him.

His eyes grew wide.

“You said you would never touch the stuff.”

“I am The Cruel Hand–I lied.”

“What is the matter? Why are you so out of control, right now? This is not like you, Nick”

“Give me something. I need something,” I began to gasp; even breathing was difficult. A man ran past, and I grabbed him, shoving him against the wall. I took off my glove and touched his skin.

“Bring me rum, now.” I felt his pain slither inside of me, and I smiled wickedly, knowing he would do as I asked. The man screamed, and I released him. “Unless you want more–” But he was off before I could finish my sentence. I put my glove back on.

“Nick, what in the seas is going on? What happened?”

I didn’t say anything. I had no idea what to say. A few minutes later the man was back, holding a glass bottle. I pressed it against my lips and drank as quickly as I could, desiring more than anything to feel nothing for once in my miserable life.

“Stop it, you will poison yourself,” Sands said, taking the bottle from my hand. I wiped off my mouth on my sleeve and glared at him. “What is the matter? For all the years I have known you, you have never behaved like this. You have never had a drop in your life.”

“Nothing,” I snarled.

“This is not nothing. Where is Meria?”

“With her lover ,” I shouted, turned and walked to the back of the ship.

“Her lover? You are not making any sense,” Sands said, following after me. I took another swig, the drink burning down my throat.

“Leave me.”

“No, not till I know what in the fathoms you are doing!”

I leaned against the railing, waiting, Sands glaring at me, but still silent. I waited for the rum to do its job and numb me–waited for the pain to go away, and I waited for Finn and Meria to appear.

I then saw Finn approach with a smile on his lips. Was he happy to be the winner? He had won Meria.

Did I even have a chance?

Hope was a blasted, vile thing that only opened up my heart to more pain. I would never have such hope again. I should have never wished for such a thing as a normal life–to possibly be with Meria and have a family. A family. I could still see it in my mind, that image I had created of a life I so desperately wanted, and then that mer came and dashed it all against the rocks.

Does Finn suddenly want a family? I knew she wanted that. She should not compromise that. I shook my head. Something was wrong with the drink; it was not working. Everything seemed foggy. The ship seemed even more wobbly than normal.

“Dominick, I was not able to introduce you before, but this is Finn,” Meria said with a smile.

“Great,” I said, wobbly, walking toward the vile merman. “Let me run you through.” I reached for my belt where I had a dagger, only I couldn't get my hand to reach my belt, or find the dagger.

“Dominick?” Meria asked as she walked to me. “What is wrong?”

“I am fine,” I said, swaying a bit, realizing that being actually drunk was rather like swimming, feeling pulled this way and that. I fell against the railing.

“Domnick? Finn, help me!” Meria shouted, and I wanted to believe that concern in her voice was because she loved me, but that was too much to hope for.

I pushed her hands away.

“Do not touch me!” I said a little too loud.

“Dominick, I am only trying to help you.”

“He is beyond help. He is two sheets to the wind,” Sands said, finally beside me. “What?” Meria asked.

“He is bashed–drunk,” Sands kept speaking, and I had no idea where he was, but his voice was annoyingly everywhere.

“I will run him through. See if he can withstand The Cruel Hand.”

“No, you will not,” Meria said, moving her face right before mine. “Dominick?”

“Yes, I will. I hate him.”

“Dominick, you do not know him,” she went on, clearly defending him.

Sands put his arm around me. I wobbled, falling into him.

He grunted.

“Stop blasted moving!” I shouted, but it came out garbled.

“Excuse the captain; he needs a little rest.”

“I do not need rest, I need her.”

“If you do not remove yourself from this situation, you will do something you will hate yourself for.”

Before I knew what was happening, I was in my cabin, alone and with my hand tied to my chair. I had no idea how long I sat there before my head bobbed and blackness surrounded me.

My head felt as if it was about to split in two. The rocking of the ship was not helping. I moved to grab a cloth for my sweaty face, but found that I was still tied to a chair. What in the life of the Traitor King happened?

“Oh, good, are you sober now? Or are you going to go drink yourself to madness again?” I looked toward the voice and found Sands sitting on the edge of my bed.

“What is going on?”

“You do not remember? Of course, you don’t! Blasted fool.”

“No–but my head feels as if you hit me with the hilt of your sword,” I winced.

“You got blasted drunk . I will say it was rather pathetic, really. All this time, you not drinking was probably the best thing you have ever done–or not done, I guess. You are a bad drunk, sloppy and foolish.”

“What?”

“You drank near an entire bottle of rum, you imbecile!” Sands stood and began walking over to me. “Everything will be ruined if you do things like that!”

“What will be ruined?”

“Your plan–all the progress you have made, and do not forget Meria. You think she likes seeing you that way?”

Meria. She was in love with Finn.

“It doesn't matter what Meria thinks. She is leaving as soon as I help her.”

“Leaving to save her people; of course, she is. But you promised to help her find her mother.”

“She’s leaving with him– Finn ,” I growled.

“Oh, I see, you decided to torture someone for the first time on your own terms and then drink because you are jealous ?”

“I am no such thing.”

“Heartache is the worst sort of pain. You are strong, Nick, but I understand.”

“You do not know how I feel, Sands, and I do not feel like speaking of it. Untie me. We need to explore this island before another monster kills us all.”

“Like Jealousy ? That may be the worst monster ever.”

I groaned, leaning my head back against the chair I was tied to. “Untie me, Sands.”

“I shall only untie you if you will promise not to drink, and promise not to torture anyone, even Finn.”

“Blast, Sands!” I cursed.

“I am doing this for your own good.”

“Fine, I shall endure it. Now, get me out of here.”

“Good, Meria is beside herself with worry for you. It took you all night to recover.”

“All night?”

“Yes–you fool,” Sands said as he untied my hands. With the piercing headache I had and my heart still as pained as ever, drinking had solved nothing. I would gladly never drink again, and I could inform anyone who asked, that drinking never healed a painful heart or soul. Which was a pity, because I was not sure I could endure that pain.

I was standing on the deck; Finn was beside Meria, and I tried not to reach out and squeeze the life out of that man who was standing there, destroying my future. Sands poked me in my ribs when I started to take off my gloves.

I could just touch him a little–a little pain; he deserves it.

“Thank you for keeping her safe. I was not sure that you could, or that you were one of the good humans, but it is clear to me that you are,” Finn said, and that made me feel completely confused.

“Of course, I kept her safe. She is the most precious treasure aboard my ship!” I grabbed his shirt and pulled him close to my face. “You better keep her safe for the rest of her life, or you will be hunted down by The Cruel Hand,” I snarled, shoving him away.

“Nick,” Sands warned beside me.

I steadied my breathing.

“I am sure she will be rid of me soon. She has asked me to leave her yet again, and everything in Marren is so boring without her,” he said with a chuckle.

I paused and turned around. Meria was smiling at him and rolling her eyes.

Truly? Does he think she is purely for his entertainment?

I wanted to cause him so much pain, but only for Meria’s sake did I hold back, but I clenched my fists all the same.

“Knock it off, Finn. You have to tell the others, including my sisters and my father.”

“I will tell Uncle, but he has been such a shark the last little while without you. He regrets banishing you, I think.”

“Uncle?” I asked, looking at them both, back and forth.

“Yes–” Finn said, pulling Meria to his side and kissing her forehead. Meria did not look pleased and shoved him away.

I twitched, not liking that.

“Do not be so flippant with her!” I shouted.

“What?” “She is a treasure, a gift, and a light; do not treat her so!”

“She knows I love her, my dear, little cousin; I am her favorite relation."

“Maybe,” she said with a laugh.

“Favorite mer then?” he interrupted, but I was still trying to wrap my head around one detail that I hoped I had heard correctly. I did not dare to conjure up any hope, though.

“That is accurate,” she said with a laugh.

“He is your cousin ?” I asked Meria.

“Yes, he is. He has been my closest friend and family member all of my life.”

The pain constricting my heart, the despair within my soul, in that moment, all but vanished.

This is not her betrothed; she is not going to run off with him.

All I wanted was to pull Meria into my arms and kiss her until all the pains melted away, and all that was left was her–only her, forever and ever. I was a dunce. I assumed too quickly, but was it truly my fault when things did not usually go my way? When the bad was usually the truth?

I smiled for a moment.

She was not in love with Finn.

Is there still a chance that she could be in love with me? For I am, apparently and most deeply and ardently, in love with Meria.

I looked at her, smiled and strode over to stand right before her. She looked up at me with a questioning look. I bent my head down, and I smirked at her until her cheeks darkened. I dipped her down, closed my eyes, took her perfect face in my hands, and kissed her with joy at learning I had been wrong. I, there and then, released the pure desperation that I had felt during those moments when I believed Meria had chosen someone else. I pulled her back up and heard cheers from behind me. I turned around to see the crew, and Finn, clapping. I pulled away from Meria to address the crew.

“This is my mermaid.” But as I was speaking, Meria grabbed onto my jacket and drew my mouth back to hers–her addictive and perfect mouth. I gave her all of me within that kiss and kissed her until I could no longer hear the crew, and all that existed was Meria and me.

I loved that mermaid.

She was going to be mine, forever. I could never give her up, even if her real betrothed came. I would fight to the death for her. She was my mermaid, and I was never going to feel what it was like without her, ever again.