18. Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Eighteen

Dominick

O ur life on the small island had been pleasant. Knowing that Meria was a mermaid explained so much. After that revelation, she wasn't as shy as she had been. She spoke often and explained more about her underwater kingdom. I couldn't help but stare at her tail whenever she went for her swims. Her tail was beautiful. The teal color suited her, and I was growing more and more comfortable with her, which worried me.

I was not looking forward to our rescue for many reasons, one of the main ones was that the little bubble of ours, where I did not have to act a specific way, would then be broken. I would most likely have to behave like a pirate again, and I was not sure how Meria would react to that persona.

Will she fear me?

When I first found out that she was a mermaid, the look of fear on her face gave me a sharp pain in my chest, which was not a place I usually felt pain, unless I was thinking about Walden and my family. I would never hurt Meria. I tried to explain to her what it meant that I was a pirate and that I did horrible things. I was not looking forward to her seeing me behave as The Cruel Hand, which reality caused me to curse my mother’s name under my breath more than once, along with Veeto’s, who I hoped had already met his watery end.

Being free from Veeto and his awful crew, it felt like a weight had been lifted from off my back. As much as I never wanted to be The Cruel Hand again, I knew that I had a reputation and that it would follow me as long as I remained a pirate.

I liked the way Meria looked at me so joyfully. Would that fade once she realized what I had to do to survive? I attempted to kick that train of thought away as often as it floated into my mind.

Three more days passed, and still no ship had arrived. I was sure mermaids were not aware of how fast or slow ships traveled.

Our sleeping arrangement changed over those few days. Since our talk on the beach, there were a few times when I had awakened to feel Meria right beside me, her hand on my shoulder. As I opened my eyes, I would see her eyes searching for mine in the dark, often as tears dripped down her cheeks.

“What is the matter?” Did I touch her? Did I use the curse in my sleep? My heart raced with that fear the first time I found her beside me, crying.

She shook her head, no , and dipped her head to hide her eyes.

“Meria, talk to me,” I said, sitting up in the dark cave, where a small flicker of the fire still burned.

“You–you are in pain, Dominick?”

“I was sleeping.”

“Dominick, there is no way–I mean, do you have nightmares?” she asked quietly. Her hand rubbed my shoulder.

“I do–but I am alright. Sorry I woke you up.”

“You always wake me up. I think you are in more pain than you say.”

I have been waking her up during my nightmares? As much as I did not want to admit how much pain I was constantly in, it was truly awful. But why make her worry needlessly for me and the horror that was my curse? She was dealing with enough. There was no need to burden her with that. I was strong, and I could handle the pain. She–while I had learned that her life was not easy and that she had her fair share of things she had endured, and was strong, herself–she deserved someone keeping her from more pain. Was it wrong to not want her tainted by me? She was kind, and I knew that if I told her everything, that she was the kind of person to make it her mission to save me.

I would love to be without pain, but that is not for her to fix.

“The curse hurts. I am sorry my nightmares affect you. I can sleep somewhere else if you think–”

“No–” she interrupted as I began to move as if to stand. “Please, I can help you.” She reached out for me.

“No,” I grunted, standing even though her hand clasped onto my coat tighter. I tugged until she released me, and I walked to the mouth of the cave.

“I can heal you. I have healing magic,” I heard her cry out to me.

Meria had told me stories that her people had passed down since the Great War. Humans had taken mermaids hostage for their magical healing abilities, but that came at a great cost to the mermaids. I did not know exactly what it took from them to heal another, and I did not know if she could heal an Ancient’s curse. Curses were most likely too powerful for that; I would never ask it of her.

I should have been kinder that night when she first woke me up, but I wasn't kind. It was better she found out on the island than later after we were rescued, I reasoned.

After that night, I still woke up from nightmares, at times, like I usually did during the night, but Meria was always near me. Sometimes, the pains manifested as grotesque nightmares, wherein I felt as if I were those people whose pain I had taken. I twitched, and I knew that I groaned and grunted in my sleep. However, we never spoke about it again. Meria was still beside me each time I woke up–constantly beside me–steadily, her warmth brought me back to the cave where we were and away from the pains I had taken from people–and also inflicted. Our eyes connected. Often she cried, and I wished I could wipe those tears away, but I had no gloves and would never take a chance on hurting Meria. So I looked at her, our eyes locking, and a small, sad smile covered her face, her tears dripping onto my arm.

In the dark, I nodded to her after our eyes connected, and I shifted, feeling her hand making circular movements on my arm until I fell asleep. And after I woke up like that and then fell back asleep with Meria beside me, the nightmares went away for the rest of the night.

However, the third night was the most different of all.

We ate dinner, as we always did, by firelight. I cooked a fish, and Meria ate some seaweed and a small part of the cooked fish, although she didn't particularly enjoy it. After dinner, we retreated to the cave floor to sleep. Meria placed the white sail underneath us, along with some sand to cushion us from the hard floor. It was a large improvement. As I was settling down in my spot, I felt Meria beside me; she was very close. Her side was pressed against my back.

“What are you doing?” I asked, turning my head to see her there.

“So, I am cold tonight and wondered if I could lay beside you, now, instead of waking up in the night, shivering and then laying beside you.”

It was true, we always ended up close anyways, so I did not see a problem with it.

“That’s fine.” I said, turning back around to face the cave wall. She shifted a little bit, and I tried to not move even an inch.

“I don’t like sleeping on land; it’s so different,” she whispered.

“How so?”

“The lack of movement. The constant movement of the waves always rocked me to sleep,” she said.

“It’s like that on a ship–it rocks back and forth. Some sailors do not like it, but I miss that.”

“That is promising, when the ship comes.”

I was on my back and turned my head to look over at her back. She was on her side, facing the small fire. I watched as my chest rose and fell, rhythmically back and forth. I had an idea, and my heart fluttered. It had been doing that often around Meria, which was new to me.

“Come here–” I began. She turned onto her other side, looking at me.

“What?” she asked, confused.

I turned to my side, facing her. “Press your back against my chest. I have an idea.”

She shifted, and her back pressed against my chest. My hands twitched beneath me, desiring to wrap themselves around her and pull her in closer for warmth.

“Like this?” she asked with her back pressed against my chest.

“Yes, perfect. Close your eyes.” I shifted a little bit, gathering part of the sail and wrapping it around one of my hands. I pressed it against her back and rocked her slightly, back and forth.

She chuckled. “Dominick, you are a genius, but you can’t do this all night.”

“I’ll rock you to sleep. Then I will fall asleep. You deserve a good night’s rest.”

“So do you–”

“Don’t worry about me,” I said, still rocking her ever so slightly. Her hair smelled of salt and sand and a sea breeze, and I was taken back to the sea.

It only took a few minutes before her breaths were even, and she was asleep. I stopped rocking her, but moved closer so my chest was pressed against her back again, hoping that the slight movement of my chest as I breathed would be comforting to her.

When I woke up to the sun shining into the cave, it was the first time I could remember sleeping through the night and not waking up with residual pain from some dream. There was something heavy on my chest, and as I opened my eyes, I realized I was laying on my back–and Meria’s head was there on top of me. Her hand was clasped in mine, and for a moment, I thought about how comforting it was, and then I froze. My hand was touching her skin. I jumped back, waking her.

“What is the matter?” she said, looking at me as I hunched in the corner of the cave with my hands spread wide.

“Are you alright? Are you hurting?”

“Yes, I am alright. I slept really well last night. But–”

“What is it, Dominick?”

I looked at my hands, then at her.

Was I just holding her hand? Really? Maybe I was too tired and wanted to hold her that night, so I only dreamed I was holding her hand. Deep down, I knew that it was true. Still, there was no need to tell her; she was fine, but why? How? No one had ever been fine after touching me before.

“Sorry, I just–”

“You didn’t wake up last night as you usually do,” she said.

“No, I did not.”

She smiled and stood up, straightening my shirt, which she still wore belted around her waist. I felt different, and as she walked from the cave to get a drink of water, I leaned against the cave wall, just staring at my hands until she ran back into the cave.

“Dominick! The ship is here!”

I needed to get it together. I could no longer be the Dominick she knew. I had to be a pirate. And why did I feel no pain? I needed to feel pain—know that I had not given my pain to Meria. But she was fine. Meria was fine.

I had a plan. We had a plan, and soon, we would be on a ship, and I would be one step closer to finding my sister and getting my revenge and then living my own life, being the pirate I was, no matter what Meria thought about me because of it.