Chapter 21

chapter

twenty-one

No news.

It had been almost a week since Monica showed up at her door asking for her help, three days since she called and warned her about Julian Graves… and there was still no news.

Monica was still hiding.

Grace and Noah were still missing.

Izzy gave the information she had to Ash. He’d thanked her and then… nothing. And she was going crazy with worry, her mind spinning through endless worst-case scenarios. What if the kids were hurt? Or worse? The not knowing was eating away at her, leaving her feeling hollow and useless. She couldn’t investigate. She wasn’t a cop anymore, and she wasn’t a private investigator yet.

All she could do was wait.

And worry.

And fear.

For her friend. For the kids.

For Rylan.

God, Rylan…

Zak had told her to stay away, so she’d stayed away, though it killed her to do so. She wanted to be there for him, to support him as he struggled with the aftermath of his suicide attempt. But she understood Zak’s stance. Her presence might do more harm than good, given their complicated history and the fragile state of Rylan’s mental health.

Still, the urge to check on him gnawed at her. She found herself driving past his house at least once a day, hoping to catch a glimpse of him, to reassure herself that he was okay. But the curtains remained drawn, and the house looked as lifeless as she felt.

So when Anna Hendricks called her this morning, asking to meet at The Mad Dog Pub, she was surprised.

Anna was already at a corner booth, her red hair pulled back into a neat braid that fell over her shoulder. She smiled as Izzy approached, but it wasn’t anywhere near the usual wattage of her smile. “Thanks for meeting me.”

Rose Rawlings appeared with two coffees the moment Izzy slid into the booth. “I figured you both could use a pick-me-up.” She made a shooing motion at Anna. “Now scoot.”

Anna sighed but scooted over, making room for her sister-in-law to sit.

Izzy studied both women, and the knot of dread in her stomach tightened. “Okay, now this feels like an interrogation.”

“Not an interrogation,” Anna said quickly.

“Just a conversation,” Rose added.

“What kind of conversation?”

Anna opened her mouth to respond, but the bell over the door rang, indicating a new customer.

“Take a seat anywhere, and I’ll be with you in a few minutes,” Rose called, but the newcomers made a beeline for their table.

Rhiannon Cross, followed by Shane’s wife, Alexis Summers.

Yeah, this probably wasn’t going to end well.

Izzy slid from the booth. “I should go.”

Rhiannon stopped a few feet away and held up her hands. “I’m not here to make things harder for you.”

“We just want to talk,” Anna said and motioned to the seat. “Please, sit down.”

Izzy hesitated, her gaze darting between the four women. The concern etched on their faces made her already taut nerves stretch even tighter. She drew in a breath and slowly lowered herself back into the booth.

“Okay, I’m listening.” Suddenly cold, she wrapped her hands around the warm mug of coffee. “What’s this about?”

Though she had a good idea she already knew.

Alexis pulled up a chair from another table. Rhiannon slid into the booth beside Izzy, her green-gold eyes filled with a mix of emotions Izzy couldn’t quite decipher.

“It’s about Rylan,” Rhiannon began.

Of course it was. Izzy’s chest tightened, memories of the last time she saw Rylan flashing through her mind. He’d been so pale, so still, as they loaded him into the ambulance…

“What about him?” she asked, her voice sharper than she intended.

“He’s not okay,” Anna said.

Izzy laughed bitterly, the sound harsh in the quiet pub. “Yeah, I figured that out when I found him overdosed on his couch.”

Rhiannon winced, and she instantly regretted her words.

“Sorry. I just… I don’t think…” She shook her head. “I’m the last person he needs.”

“You’re exactly who he needs,” Rhiannon countered, her tone fierce.

Izzy stared into her coffee, her stomach churning. “I betrayed him. I put you and the team in danger.”

Rhiannon reached over and gripped Izzy’s hand. “And I already forgave you for that. I know you didn’t have a choice.”

“I would’ve made the same one in your shoes,” Rose said.

“We all would have,” Anna added. “Our husbands included.”

“Oh, God, yes,” Rose said. “Ash would let the world burn if it meant saving me. He’d hate it, he’d feel guilty for it, but he’d do it.”

Anna snorted. “Not Zak. He’d set the world on fire without a second’s hesitation.”

“Pierce, too,” Rhiannon said.

“So would Shane,” Alexis said, speaking for the first time since she sat down. “Being protective is woven into the fabric of a SEAL’s DNA. And if Rylan looked at it like an operator, he’d see that he’d have made the same choice, too.”

Rhiannon nodded. “But that infamous Cross stubbornness won’t let him let go of that anger. Not because you put me in danger— though that’s undoubtedly the excuse he tells himself— but because it felt like a personal betrayal to him. Because you matter to him. If you were anyone else, he wouldn’t have reacted so strongly.”

“The line between hate and love is very thin,” Rose added. “Believe me, I know from experience. If you had told me five years ago I’d be happily married to Sheriff Grumpy Pants, I would have laughed in your face. I hated him that much. But here we are.”

Izzy shook her head, unconvinced. “Even if that’s true, it doesn’t change the fact that I hurt him. Badly. I’m the last person who should be trying to help him right now.”

“Izzy,” Alexis said and waited until Izzy looked at her. “Shane told me what he could about that last mission they went on, and he thinks Rylan is drowning in survivor’s guilt. They both made some decisions that night they regret. Rylan needs someone who understands what that’s like, someone who’s been there. And you have. You know exactly how it feels to make an impossible choice and live with the consequences.”

Rhiannon squeezed Izzy’s hand, drawing her attention back to those eyes that were so much like Rylan’s. “My brother has always been the strong one, the protector. He’s not used to needing help, to being vulnerable, and it makes him shut down. If we don’t do something—” Her voice cracked with emotion, and Alexis touched her shoulder in a silent show of support. Rhiannon sent the other woman a grateful look, then wiped her eyes with the backs of her hands before continuing. “We’ll lose him. We need you. He needs you.“

What would it be like to have friends like this? Izzy wondered. Yes, she had Monica, but for the entire life of their friendship, she was always the one rushing to Monica’s aid, supporting Monica in her darkest moments. Just once, she wanted friends like Rylan had, who would rally around her in her darkest moments, who would fight for her, even when she couldn’t fight for herself.

The thought made her throat tight with emotion. She blinked back the sudden sting of tears and cleared her throat. “If he pushes me away?”

Anna leaned in. “Then you keep showing up. You keep fighting for him.”

“The way he’s fought for everyone else his entire life,” Rhiannon added. “He’s worth it, Izzy. You know he is.”