Chapter 15

chapter

fifteen

The hospital waiting room was a hellscape of too-bright fluorescent lights, uncomfortable plastic chairs, and the endless hum of vending machines and overhead announcements.

Izzy tucked herself in a corner, hugging her knees to her chest and blankly scrolling on her phone. She’d been here for hours. Long enough for her stomach to twist itself into a knot so tight she wasn’t sure it would ever unravel.

The nurse at the front desk had been kind but firm: “We’ll let you know as soon as we can.”

But the words had done little to calm the storm in Izzy’s head. She didn’t even know if Rylan was stable yet. The last thing she’d heard was the paramedics shouting about his blood pressure dropping and his oxygen levels falling.

Her phone buzzed, and her heart leaped. But it was only Mateo. He’d called after she’d rushed from their parents’ house in a panic, and she had no doubt Abuela had put him up to it. She’d explained what happened as succinctly as possible, and now he kept checking in every few minutes.

How’s he doing?

Her fingers hovered over the keyboard. She didn’t have an answer for her brother.

She glanced at Zak, who stood near the doorway, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. His expression was unreadable, but his jaw was tight, and every so often, his prosthetic foot tapped softly against the floor in an unconscious rhythm.

“Do you think he’s okay?” she asked finally, breaking the silence.

Zak’s gaze flicked to her, and for a moment, the hardness in his eyes softened. “He’s tough. If anyone can come back from this, it’s Rylan.”

His words were meant to reassure her, but they only made her throat tighten further. She nodded, swallowing the lump that threatened to choke her. “I should’ve seen it sooner. I should’ve done something. I knew something was wrong with him.”

Zak pushed off the wall and crouched in front of her, his hand resting lightly on her knee. “This isn’t on you, Izzy. Rylan’s been struggling for a while, and we all missed it.”

The door to the waiting room opened suddenly, and Izzy’s heart jolted into her throat. But it wasn’t a doctor. It was Donovan, followed by Shane, Veronica, Pierce, and Sawyer, with Zelda at his side. Their expressions were grim, their movements tense as they filed into the room.

Donovan’s gaze locked onto her, his dark eyes narrowing. “What are you doing here?”

Izzy straightened in her seat, meeting his glare head-on. “I’m waiting for news. Same as you.”

Shane crossed his arms, his scarred face unreadable. “Rylan wouldn’t want you here.”

The words hit like a punch to the gut. Izzy opened her mouth to respond, but Veronica cut in before she could speak.

“This isn’t about you, Izzy,” she said coldly. “It’s about Rylan. And right now, your presence isn’t helping.”

Izzy’s chest tightened. She glanced at Zak, hoping for support, but his expression was troubled. He looked at her, then at the others, and his lips pressed into a thin line.

“Okay, enough,” Zak said. “This isn’t the time or place.”

“Then tell her to leave,” Donovan snapped. “She already hurt him once. Hurt us all. She has no right?—”

“Van,” Zak warned, his tone sharp enough to make the other man back off slightly. But the tension didn’t dissipate. It hung in the air like a storm cloud, crackling with restless energy.

Before anyone could say more, the door opened again, and a doctor stepped inside, clipboard in hand. “Mr. Cross is stable,” he said, addressing the group. “He’s sedated and on oxygen. We’ll be monitoring him closely for the next few days, but he’s out of immediate danger.”

He’s stable.

Out of danger.

Izzy had never heard sweeter words.

Relief swept through her, leaving her lightheaded. She closed her eyes, a silent prayer of thanks tumbling through her mind.

“Can we see him?” Zak asked.

“Immediate family only for now,” the doctor replied. “But as he improves, we can revisit that.”

Pierce signed something, his movements quick, agitated.

Zak translated: “We are Rylan’s family, as good as blood. His parents are in Kentucky, and his sister is out of town for a few days.”

Pierce held up his phone, showing the doctor that he had Rhiannon on video chat.

“Okay,” the doctor relented and motioned to Zak and Pierce. “You two can go in, but just for a few minutes. The rest of you will have to wait.”

Izzy opened her mouth to protest but closed it again without making a sound. She wanted to demand to see him, too. She wanted to take his hand and feel the reassuring warmth of his skin against hers, to see his chest rising and falling with each breath. She wanted to tell him she was sorry, that she never meant for any of this to happen. But she knew it was a privilege she hadn’t earned, and the cold stares from the rest of the team made it clear she wasn’t welcome here anymore.

Zak glanced back at her, his expression conflicted. He jerked his head toward the door, a silent suggestion. Izzy swallowed hard and nodded, gathering her jacket and her shattered composure.

She followed him out into the hallway, the fluorescent lights making her head throb. He led her to a quiet alcove, out of earshot of the others, and leaned against the wall, rubbing a hand over his face.

“Izzy,” he began, but she already knew what was coming.

“You’re not going to let me see him.”

Zak sighed, his shoulders sagging like he carried the weight of the world on them. “I know you care about him. I know you’re worried. But right now… the team’s on edge. They’re angry. At you, at themselves, at the whole damn situation. And if Rylan wakes up and sees you—” He hesitated, his gaze searching hers. “It might not be good for him. Or for you.”

Sorrow gripped her chest, squeezing around her heart like a vise. “Zak, please. I need to stay. I need to see him.”

“I know.” His voice was heavy with regret. “But having you there when he wakes up… I think it will only make things worse.”

The words cut so deeply, she was half-surprised she didn’t bleed out right there in front of him. And what hurt even worse—he was right. The tension in the waiting room had been oppressive, and she couldn’t imagine what it would be like if Rylan woke up to find her there.

She blinked back the sting of tears and nodded. “Okay. I’ll go.”

Zak’s relief was palpable, but it didn’t make her decision any easier. He placed a hand on her shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “Thank you. I’ll keep you updated, I promise.”

She nodded again, her throat too tight to speak. She pulled out her phone and dialed Mateo. He answered on the first ring.

“I need a ride,” she said, her voice trembling.

“On my way,” he replied without hesitation.

She hung up and turned to Zak one last time. “Tell him… tell him I’m glad he’s okay.”

Zak nodded, his expression solemn. “I will.”

She held herself together until she climbed into Mateo’s truck, the door slamming shut behind her. Then, the floodgates opened. Sobs wracked her body, tears streaming down her face as she curled into herself, feeling like her heart was being ripped out of her chest.

Mateo didn’t say a word. He just reached over and pulled her into a tight hug, letting her cry against his shoulder until her sobs turned to shuddering breaths and her tears ran dry.

When she finally pulled back, he wiped the last of her tears with his thumbs. “Whose ass do I have to kick?”

Izzy let out a choked laugh, the sound half-sob, half-snort. “No one’s. It’s my own damn fault.”

Mateo’s brow furrowed. “What happened, Issa? You, Mamá,Papá , Abuela? You’ve all been acting weird for months. The other day, Diego dropped a hammer in the garage and I swear I saw Papá lose ten years off his life. He’s twitchy as hell.”

She shook her head, and shifted out of his reach, staring out the windshield at the hospital parking lot as a fresh sheen of fresh tears blurred her vision. “I messed up, Teo. I messed up so bad.”

Her brother was quiet for a long moment. Then he reached over and tugged on her braid like he always had when they were kids. ”Start from the beginning.”

So she did. The words poured out of her like blood from an open wound— halting and painful at first, then faster, tumbling over each other in their haste to be heard. She told him about the safe house, about the men who broke into their parents’ house and held them hostage:

“They called me. They told me it was either my family or Redwood Coast Rescue. I chose our family, and people were injured because of it. People are still getting injured.”

She told him about the attack that followed, the Redwood Coast Rescue members who were injured, Pierce and Rhiannon being taken hostage. She told him about the fallout, the anger and betrayal that had shattered her job and all of her relationships, including the budding one with Rylan. She told him about Monica showing up asking for her help to find the kids, the human trafficker that Monica was apparently dating, and Rylan’s overdose.

When she finally fell silent, her throat raw and her eyes gritty, he let out a long, slow breath.

“Jesus, Issa,” he murmured. “Men with guns held our parents and abuela hostage, and you didn’t say anything?”

She should have known that would be the first thing he’d latch onto. She shrugged, picking at a loose thread on her jeans. “Papá decided it was best not to worry you all. He thought the fewer people who knew, the safer everyone would be.”

Mateo ran a hand through his hair, making it stick up in unruly spikes. “That’s bullshit. We’re family. We’re supposed to have each other’s backs, no matter what.”

She swiped at her damp cheeks. “I know. I wanted to tell you, but… I was scared. I didn’t want to put you in danger, too. And after what happened with Rylan and the others getting hurt because of what I did…” Her voice cracked. “I couldn’t face it. I couldn’t face them. I couldn’t face you. I’m a coward.“

“Hey.” Mateo reached over and gripped her hand. “You’re not. You’re the farthest thing from it. You made an impossible choice, Issa. No one should ever have to decide between their family and their friends like that.”

Izzy squeezed her brother’s hand back, grateful for his unwavering support even as her heart ached. “I just keep hurting people, Teo. No matter what I do, I make things worse. Maybe it’s better if I stay away from all of them.”

Mateo shook his head vehemently. “No way. That’s not the Izzy I know. The Izzy I know doesn’t run from her problems—she faces them head-on, even when it’s hard as hell. Especially when it’s hard as hell.”

A wry smile tugged at her lips despite the heaviness in her chest. “I think that Izzy got lost somewhere along the way.”

“Then you find her again,” Mateo said firmly. He reached out and tapped her chest, right over her heart. “She’s still in there. And she doesn’t give up.” He gave her a searching look. “What do you want to do, Issa? Really.”

Izzy closed her eyes, letting out a shaky breath. The answer was simple, even if the execution seemed impossible. “I want to make things right. With Rylan, with the team, with everyone I’ve hurt. I want to fix what I broke, but I don’t know how.“

Mateo squeezed her hand again, his grip warm and solid. “One step at a time, sis. You start by forgiving yourself. You made a choice— an impossible one, but still a choice. Own it. Learn from it. But don’t let it define you.”

She swallowed hard against the lump in her throat. Forgiving herself felt like an insurmountable task when the weight of her guilt was crushing her, but Mateo was right.

She couldn’t move forward until she stopped dragging the chains of her past mistakes.