Chapter 26

chapter

twenty-six

Cal was admittedto the hospital for two nights for severe dehydration, but he was ready to get out of there after the first few hours. By the first morning, she was about as successful at keeping him still and quiet as she was at keeping Puzzle from eating all of her socks. Which was to say, not successful at all.

"Cal, you need to rest. Don't make me tie you to this bed."

"While that sounds fun…" He stood up and wobbled a little, grabbing the overbed table to steady himself. "I want to see Pierce."

She rolled her eyes, but instead of arguing with him, she just got a wheelchair from the hallway.

He eyed it with suspicion as she wheeled it in. "Thanks, but I can walk."

"You can barely stand, and you have an IV. It's either this or you sit your gorgeous ass back down on that bed and relax like the doctor ordered."

Cal smirked. "You're kinda hot when you're bossy."

Ellie's face flushed as she gave him a playful shove back into the bed. "Not helping your case, Holden. You're staying put."

He caught her hand before she pulled away, and for once, his expression was serious. "Elle, I need to see him. They hurt him because of me. Please."

She held his gaze for a beat, saw the worry and guilt eating away at him, and sighed. "Okay. But let me see if he's up for a visit first."

Cal grumbled but settled back into the bed. "Ellie," he called when she got to the door. "Tell him I'm sorry."

Her heart clenched. It was wrong for Cal to look so… sad. "I will. Please try to rest. I'll be back in a few minutes."

The hallway outside was bustling with nurses and doctors, their movements quick and urgent. The smell of antiseptic hung in the air like a heavy blanket, and Ellie quickened her pace to escape it.

Pierce had been upgraded from critical to stable yesterday and moved into a regular room down the hall from Cal's. She found him propped up in bed, his dark eyes glued to a silent TV, but he didn't appear actually to be watching the news segment. He looked miles away.

She tapped on the door. "Pierce?"

He glanced up as she entered, and his gaze softened.

"Hey." She walked in and perched on the chair beside his bed. She'd visited him every day, but now that she knew he had a thing for her, there was an awkwardness between them that hadn't been there before. She liked him—she'd always liked him, but only as a friend. She wished she'd known about his feelings before… but even if she had, it wouldn't have made a difference. There was only one man who had ever sparked her interest, and he was currently battling his guilt a few doors down the hallway.

But Pierce needed a friend now, and she hoped he would still consider her one.

She studied his bruised and battered face. "How are you doing?"

He simply shrugged in response and avoided her gaze.

"Cal wants to visit if you're up for it."

His lips thinned, and he shook his bandaged head, wincing.

"No?"

Pierce just shrugged again, his gaze distant. He was always quiet, but it used to be a calm kind of quiet like he'd made peace with himself. Now, the air around him was charged with anger and other emotions she couldn't put a name to.

She hated seeing him in so much pain.

"Dude," Ellie said, cracking a half-smile, trying to lighten the mood. "He's been driving me up the wall. I swear I'm about ready to smack him with a bedpan."

It worked. The corner of Pierce's mouth twitched in what might have been a reluctant smile.

"He blames himself," she said softly.

Pierce's brow furrowed, his gaze flicking back to her face.

"Anyway," she said, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. "He asked me to tell you he's sorry."

Pierce just looked at her. His expression remained closed off, making Ellie feel like she was talking to a wall.

"Okay," she finally said, standing up. "I'll let him know you're not ready yet."

He didn't try to stop her as she left the room. Out in the hall, she took a breath to ease the tightness in her throat.

Physically, he'd heal from the torture inflicted on him, but mentally? She wasn't so sure.

That evening, when Ellie left the hospital to shower and change her clothes, Zak called to warn her that Alexis and Shane were on their way home. Since they were off the grid and unreachable by phone, he'd radioed them to let them know what happened, and they'd decided to cut their honeymoon short by a day.

Ellie was not looking forward to this conversation and decided to wait on her porch, throwing a stick for Puzzle until they arrived.

To Ellie's surprise, only Alexis stepped out of the car. Clue, the scruffy mutt Alexis had found in an alleyway in Chicago, hopped out behind her.

Puzzle gave a delighted woof at seeing his cousinand bounced off the porch. He tripped over his own big feet and skidded across the grass on his face for a moment before righting himself.

"That dog doesn't know how to dog properly," Alexis said with faint amusement.

"I know. He's a dummy, but I love him."

They both watched in silence as the dogs circled, sniffing each other wildly.

Ellie hated to break the tentative peace, but she figured she might as well get the lecture over with. "Where's Shane?"

Alexis's lips thinned. "He went to the hospital to see Pierce. And Cal. Though, Cal annoys him, so mostly Pierce."

"Good. Maybe he'll get more of a response from him than I did. He's… shut down."

"What the hell, Ellie?" Alexis's green eyes flashed with fury as she stalked up the sidewalk. "You infiltrated a cult?"

"Yes."

"I… just…" She turned away and shoved her hands into her hair, muttering something about not being able to leave Ellie for even a week. Then she swung back. "My God, Ellie! What were you thinking? You could've been killed."

"I found Hope."

Alexis stumbled to a halt. "I'm sorry. You… what?"

"She was there. She kind of started the cult. Or, I guess, took it over."

Alexis blinked in disbelief. "She's alive?"

"No. Not anymore. But she has a daughter."

"Holy shit. I need to sit down." Alexis sank onto the front step of Ellie's porch and put her head in her hands. "This is... this is a lot. Holy shit. A daughter?"

"Her name is True. She has Hope's eyes," Ellie whispered, her voice choked with emotion. "She's been through hell, but she's very strong and brave. You'll like her."

"Of course I will. She's our niece." Alexis sighed, rubbing her temples. "I can't believe it. Hope had a daughter."

"She needs us, Lexi. She watched her mom die in front of her. We're all she has left."

Silence fell between them, broken only by the sound of Puzzle and Clue grumbling happily as they rolled around in the grass together.

"I need to see her," Alexis finally said. "But first…" She slid a considering gaze in Ellie's direction. "I've been dying to ask, what the hell is going on with you and Cal?"

Ah, there it was. She should've expected it. "Nothing."

"Bullshit. Something happened between you two at the wedding."

Ellie looked down at her lap, picking at the frayed edge of her jeans. She thought about lying, but her sister would see through it. "Yes. Something happened."

"I knew it! And…?"

"And what?"

"Was it good?"

"Oh my God."

"I'll take that as a yes."

"I have nothing more to say about it."

"Well, I do."

Ellie sighed. "Lexi?—"

"No." She held up a hand, stopping further protest. "I need to say my peace. You can't keep holding my trauma over Cal's head."

"I'm not?—"

"Yeah, you are. You're blaming him for what happened to me when he had nothing to do with it. It's time to stop running and deal with it."

"I need to stop?" Outrage burst through Ellie. "What about you? You always just charge on ahead. You focused on Shane's problems and then Connelly and Veronica's, but you never once took a moment to stop and process anything that happened to you."

"That's not true," Alexis said softly. "I am dealing with it. In therapy. And in the middle of the night, with Shane holding me through the nightmares. The difference is I don't want to dwell on it like you do. I don't want it to define my entire life. I want to be known as more than just the only surviving victim of the Shadow Stalkers. I'm more than what they did to me. The fuckers. May they rot in hell." Tears flooded her eyes, but she didn't let them fall. She touched the thin scar on her throat where Jaxon Thorne's knife had sliced open her neck. "And I'm more than what Jax did to me. He's a very damaged man who was consumed by rage and drugs. I've forgiven him for it. Shane has forgiven him. Why can't you?"

Ellie's throat closed up. "He tried to kill you after you already went through the unthinkable. The Stalkers failed?—"

"Not for a lack of trying," Alexis muttered.

"No, you survived them because you were smarter and stronger, and they underestimated you. They were never going to break you. But Jax… almost succeeded, all because he wanted to hurt Shane. He cut open your throat! You only survived by a fluke of luck."

"Oh, Ellie." Alexis pulled her in for a hug. "I'm still here, and I'm the happiest I've ever been." She drew back and wiped away the tears Ellie couldn't control. "You want to know what I think?"

Ellie gave a watery laugh and swiped at her running nose. "No, but you're going to tell me anyway."

"Yes, I am, and you're not going to like it. I think you've been using what Jax did—and the fact that Cal took him on as a client—as an excuse so you don't have to risk your heart. Because your heart is at risk with Cal. He's so incredibly in love with you. Absolutely wild about you. And you love him, too."

"I don't?—"

"Stop," Alexis said firmly. "You do. You have from the moment you met him."

Ellie's face flushed hot. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, searching for a counterargument but finding none.

"Come on," Alexis prompted, bumping her shoulder. "Just admit it already."

"No."

"Ellie Mae, don't you lie to me."

"Ugh, don't use my middle name." She exhaled a long, slow breath and scrubbed her hands over her face in defeat. "Okay, yes. Happy now? Yes, I love him."

"There, don't you feel better?" Alexis asked, her smile all smug satisfaction.

"Maybe," she muttered, just because she couldn't bring herself to admit that she did feel better—lighter, somehow. "But it's… complicated."

"Love is always complicated. But that doesn't mean it isn't worth it. Take the chance on Cal. I promise you won't regret it." Alexis squeezed her hand. "Now, let's go meet this niece of ours."