Chapter 13

chapter

thirteen

Lucy wasn't surprised to see Sawyer awake before dawn the following morning. She'd stayed by his side all night and he'd slept restlessly.

In truth, so had she.

He sat out on the balcony again, his face lifted toward the warmth of the rising sun, his eyes closed. Zelda lay beside him, her eyes now bright and alert.

Lucy wrapped the blanket around her shoulders and padded out onto the balcony, careful not to disturb the others.

"Can't sleep either, huh?" Sawyer asked without opening his eyes.

"Too many thoughts," she admitted, running her fingers through her ponytail. "How's Zelda?"

"She's better," he answered, scratching behind the dog's ears. "She doesn't seem to have any lingering effects."

"That's good." She moved to sit down beside him. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"How do you always know it's me approaching before I speak?"

A slight smile curved his mouth. "I know your footsteps and your smell."

She made a face. "Ugh, what I wouldn't give for a bath right now." The bath wipes she always packed with her hiking gear weren't cutting it anymore. She was covered in too much grime and blood, and who knew what else.

"I'd settle for a plain old shower," Sawyer said. "But, hey, at least we all still have toothbrushes and minty fresh breath."

"Thankfully." She stared out over the horizon as dawn speared through the sky, chasing away the darkness. The morning was still, the world holding its breath as if waiting for something. "Sorry if I stink."

"No, it's not like that," he chuckled, still not opening his eyes. "I mean, you have a… distinct scent. Hard to describe. A mix of pine and wildflowers and something else I can't place…" He broke off, frowning slightly as if trying to find the right words. "Like the air after it rains. Sweet and earthy."

Lucy blinked, taken aback. Slowly she turned her gaze from the rising sun to Sawyer. She studied his face. He was so pretty, though he'd probably hate being called that. Something fluttered in her chest, and she took a deep breath to steady herself.

"Well," she said, attempting to keep her voice light. "You smell like dog."

He chuckled at that, the sound surprising a laugh out of her as well. It felt good to laugh.

"That's an insult to dogs," he said. "I reek. I don't know how you can stand sitting beside me right now. I can barely stand it."

"Well, it's either sit here with you or stay in there with Chuck, and I'd pick you over his BO any day."

"Jesus, it's so bad, right? I thought I was the only one who noticed. It's like dirty socks and onions."

She wrinkled her nose. "He's one of the most unpleasant people I've ever met, both personality-wise and scent-wise. I feel bad for Joel."

Sawyer was silent for a beat. "My dad's a lot like him."

Surprised by the admission, she turned to look at Sawyer. "Really?"

"Yeah," Sawyer said, opening his eyes and turning to face her. "Always had to be the biggest, toughest, loudest guy in the room. Thought it made him strong."

Lucy could see the hurt in his posture—the rigid set of his shoulders, the tight clench of his jaw. She knew what it was like to carry that sort of ache around, the one that burrowed its way into your bones and made you feel alone even in a crowded room. "That's not strength."

"No, it's not. He's an obnoxious bully." He exhaled a long, slow breath. "He's why I joined the military, you know. ‘Be a man,' he'd always say. He was so proud when I enlisted, and for the first time in my life, I felt like I had a relationship with him. But that was when I could still see." He paused, and a frown tugged down the corners of his mouth. "But now he acts like I'm a disappointment. Like it was my choice to be blind and fuck up my life. I haven't talked to him in years. I think that's why I have no patience for Chuck. The guy reminds me too much of him."

Lucy felt an unexpected surge of anger at his father for ever making him feel like a disappointment. He was the most incredible person she had ever met. Kind, loyal, strong. He wasn't a disappointment… he was an inspiration.

She reached out and gently touched his hand, all too aware that any physical contact ran the risk of conveying more than she was ready to admit. But the warmth of his skin against hers provided an odd sense of comfort, grounding her in a way that nothing else could at that moment.

"I'm sorry, Sawyer," she said softly. "You didn't deserve to be treated like that. Your blindness doesn't make you any less of a man."

He flipped his palm upward to hold hers. "Thank you."

For a heartbeat, they sat in silence, their hands entwined. He didn't say anything more. He didn't have to.

Then she remembered something she'd seen on the trail yesterday and got an idea. She stood, pulling him up with her. "How about a change of scenery?"

He hesitated. "Shouldn't we head out to the cell tower?"

"It can wait another hour until the sun's up. Come on."

Sawyer heard the rush of the water and felt the cold spray of it on his face. He smiled. His Lucy was full of surprises. "A waterfall?"

"It's really more of a trickle than a fall. I found it yesterday when I was trying to find a trail down." She released his hand, and he heard the rustle of clothes. "C'mon. It's not a hot bath, but it will get us clean."

"Are you proposing we skinny dip together, Ranger Harper?" He gave an exaggerated gasp of mock outrage. "My God. If I had pearls, I'd be clutching them."

"You're an ass," Lucy said with a laugh and smacked his shoulder. "I didn't bring you here for some cheesy romantic moment. We smell bad, and this will help. Also… it's beautiful."

"I'll have to take your word for it on the beautiful part." He heard her clothes drop into a pile, and his breath caught in his suddenly tight chest. He imagined her body— the curve of her waist, the fullness of her breasts, the roundness of her hips, the strength in her shoulders. He pictured her standing there, the shadows of the trees dappling her skin, the spray of the waterfall dampening her hair. He had no way to know if his imagination was close to reality, but he liked the picture it painted in his head.

"Are you naked right now, Lucy?" His voice came out in a low rumble.

"You'll have to catch me to find out." She swept past him, her footsteps slapping softly on the rocks. Then he heard a gentle splash as she entered the water…. followed by another splash, much less graceful than the first.

Lucy laughed. "See? Even Zelda thinks it's a great idea."

"She loves to swim." He tugged off his shirt and peeled his pants and underwear down his legs, feeling a pang of nerves as he stood bare to the world.

Bare to Lucy.

He wasn't usually self-conscious about his body. He spent many hours in the gym or on the trail to make up for all the hours he sat stationed in front of a computer. His muscles were hard and well-worked, his stomach was flat and rippled with abs. His cock was on the bigger side or normal. He'd never before had anything to feel self-conscious about…

But this was different. This was Lucy—driven, independent, beautiful Lucy—the woman who'd crawled into his heart and set up camp there, whether he liked it or not.

He wanted her to like what she saw.

And he suddenly, fiercely regretted that he'd never be able to see her naked. He'd never be able to see her face flush with arousal or light up with laughter, never watch her eyes darken with desire or sparkle with mischief.

God, he wanted to see her.

The sharp pain of that longing surprised him.

"Are you okay?" Her words echoed strangely off the rocks and water, rippling back toward him. He realized he'd been standing still for too long, exposed and silent.

"Yeah," he replied, his throat tight. He fumbled his way over the rocks toward the sound of splashing water and found himself at the edge of the pool formed by the waterfall. He dipped a toe in and was taken aback by the temperature. "Fuck, that's cold."

"You'll get used to it." Suddenly, she was right beside him, her hand sliding into his. He could feel her warmth, smell that sweet, earthy scent that was uniquely hers.

He took a step and then another, and with each one, the water rose higher and higher, swallowing him up to his waist. The cold really wasn't that bad once he was in, and the water was a balm to his aching muscles, washing away the sweat and grime of the past few days. It was reviving, invigorating.

"Soooo….?" Lucy said. Her voice came from his right, closer than he expected. Her fingers nudged against his under the water.

"What?"

"Are you gonna get in all the way or just stand there?"

A smile tugged at his lips. "Depends."

"On?"

"If you're gonna drown me or not."

"No promises." Her laughter bounced around him. It was a sound he could get lost in, a sound that made him forget for a moment the dangerous situation they were stuck in.

Jesus, he'd needed this.

And somehow she'd known it.

"All right then." He inhaled deeply and dunked himself into the cold pool, gasping as he resurfaced, his skin tingling from the shock of it.

Zelda barked from somewhere nearby and there was another splash. After the scare yesterday, he loved hearing her joyful energy. It was infectious and he found himself laughing along with Lucy.

"She's found a rock to jump off," Lucy told him, a grin in her voice. "It's hilarious. She jumps and all four of her legs start paddling before she hits the water."

He was about to say something, to crack a joke, when he felt Lucy move closer. Her fingers brushed his chest, and all of his remaining sense sparked to painful life. He inhaled sharply as she slid her hand up his torso, tracing the line of his shoulder with a soft touch that made him shiver. Suddenly, the water wasn't cold at all. His skin felt tight and hot, his blood like fire coursing through his veins.

"You mentioned something about a plan for me when I got back," she murmured, her hand curling around the nape of his neck. "If I remember correctly, it didn't include clothes."

"Lucy..." His voice sounded strange, breathless.

"I know this isn't the moment. I just… I needed this." She took a deep, shaky breath. "I needed to feel this connection. Needed to feel… normal again."

Her words echoed in his head as he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. He could feel her heart thudding against his chest, her body trembling under his touch. The sound of the waterfall was a distant buzz in his ears as he focused solely on Lucy.

"You're not normal, Ranger Harper," he told her, stroking a hand down the sleek curve of her back. "You're extraordinary."

He felt her laugh against his neck, low and warm. "Flattery will get you everywhere."

"Good to know. I'll store that information for future use." As he said it, Sawyer realized he meant every word. He wanted a future where he could learn all the things that pleased Lucy Harper.

Her body was heat against his in the chilly water, and even without sight, he could envision the toned lines of her body, the slope of her breasts, the curve of her hips.

"I want to touch you." He found himself leaning in, burying his nose in her hair, inhaling the scent of waterfall and Lucy.

Her arms tightened around him, holding him closer. "Then touch me."

He gave a rueful laugh. "We don't have time. Not for the way I want to, at least." His voice was rough and low as he traced his fingers back up her spine. "I want to taste every inch of you. I want to map the shape of your body with my hands and mouth until you're trembling and begging for release. I want to hear your sweet, throaty moans as you come undone beneath me, Lucy." His hand cupped the back of her head, his fingers tangling in her wet hair. "I want to hear you say my name like it's a prayer and a curse all at once. Like it's the only word you know."

"Sawyer," she whispered on a shaky exhale, and her nails bit into his shoulders.

"Yeah, just like that." He traced his lips up the curve of her jaw to her ear. "I want you as desperate for me as I am for you."

Her arms tightened around him, and the hard peaks of her breasts scraped against his chest. "Maybe I'm already desperate."

A thrill shot through him, and he growled low in his throat as his cock hardened to the point of pain. Jesus, he wanted this woman in all the ways a man could want. He'd wanted to protect her the first time they met in the cave. He'd wanted to comfort her in the hospital. And now, the deep, primal part of him wanted to claim her.

He cradled her face between his hands, thumb brushing softly over the curve of her cheek to her lips. He could feel every breath she took, each one shuddering and unsure. He leaned in, tilting his head and closing the small distance between them. Every muscle in his body coiled in anticipation as their lips brushed. It was barely a touch, just a whisper of warmth and wetness. But it sent a jolt of electricity rocketing through him.

With a low growl, he pulled her hard against him and kissed her properly. Her mouth opened beneath his with a soft sigh that he swallowed down like a starving man. God, she tasted sweet, like ripe berries and fresh water, like everything he'd ever craved but never knew he needed.

Her arms wound tightly around his neck as she kissed him back with equal fervor, her tongue tangling with his in a slow dance of shared desire. Every stroke fanned the flames within him higher and higher until they consumed all thought, all reason.

Lucy moaned into his mouth, a low sound that vibrated right through him and shot straight to his cock. He pressed up against her instinctively as heat pooled low in his belly.

"Fuck," he muttered against her lips as his cock nudged up against her bare stomach. His senses were on fire; every touch was amplified tenfold because he couldn't see where it was coming from or predict where it would land next.

Zelda barked.

Lucy jerked away and sucked in a deep, shuddering breath, flattening her hands on his chest and pushing until he released her. Cold water flooded between them as she moved back.

His blood pounded through his body, the taste of her still on his lips as he tried to figure out what had caused the abrupt ending. "What's wrong?"

"We should go. We have a long hike ahead of us." Her voice sounded weird, strained.

He reached out for her, intending to draw her back to him, but found only air.

"Lucy?" he called out, his hand stretching out further, grazing the water's surface in search of her. The only response was the distant sound of splashing as she made her way toward the bank.

With a frustrated sigh, he raked a hand through his wet hair, trying to regain some semblance of control. He had been so close, so damn close to something real, something raw and beautiful with Lucy.

He swore under his breath and swam after her. Despite his best intentions to take it slow, he had pushed her too hard, too fast.