Chapter 15

Austin hustled up the steps of Alexa’s apartment on Tuesday night, several bags of groceries in his arms. It sucked bringing the food he’d gotten to her place when she was supposed to be staying with him for the week, and guilt coursed through him. Life in the military meant he deployed when duty called. The decision would never be his, and while Alexa was strong as hell, it didn’t stop the fact that he wanted to be here for her.

“Knock-knock,” he said as he lightly rapped on the door.

She immediately pulled it open, a rueful smile on her face. “Hi.”

“Hi yourself,” he said, ducking for a quick kiss.

“I was watching for you to come up.”

“I figured as much. Even though I told you to sit and rest while I headed over,” he gently chided.

“You know me too well,” she said, shutting the door. “I wanted to see if you needed help.”

He lifted the bags, his muscles bulging with the movement, and flashed her a grin. “I only look weak,” he teased. The flush that spread across her cheeks was interesting. His Alexa wasn’t shy in the least. Her gaze tracked over his biceps, and his smiled widened. She was checking him out, and he didn’t mind it one bit.

“You look good too, Lex,” he said with a wink.

“Are you trying to sweet talk me into something?” she sassed. She licked her lips, and damn. The things he wished he could do to her right now, starting with stripping her bare, and then burying his head between her thighs until she was begging for release.

“I wish,” he said, his blood heating. “We’re going to be good until you’re completely better.”

“Spoilsport.”

His laughter filled the air as he gestured for her to go ahead. Austin followed her through the apartment to the kitchen, his hands full of food. Alexa’s hips swayed as she walked, her leggings perfectly hugging the curve of her ass. He longed to pull her against him, the groceries be damned. When she turned toward him, he caught the swell of her breasts pressing against her tank top and felt his cock twitch. He set everything on the counter and then pulled her close, holding her close for a heated kiss. It would have to do for now, and he’d enjoy every damn moment of it.

Alexa’s honeysuckle scent filled the air, and Austin’s cock stiffened. His erection pressed against her stomach, and Alexa nipped at his mouth, clearly feeling better than just a couple of days ago. She pressed even closer, her breasts pillowing against his chest.

“God. Lex,” he murmured. “You feel so good.”

He had to hold still, making sure he didn’t hurt her. While her stitches were healing as expected, he didn’t need to be rubbing up against her right now.

“Touch me,” she pleaded between soft kisses.

He palmed her breasts, squeezing gently, and listened to her soft little moan of pleasure. She wasn’t wearing a bra beneath her thin tank top, and he loved the feel of her breasts in his hands. Despite her petite frame, her breasts were full. Tantalizing. Perfect. She was so sensitive, always responsive to his eager touch. Austin deepened their kiss further, one hand moving to the back of her head as his tongue pushed into her mouth. She tasted sweet, like strawberries, and gasped as he claimed her with his mouth. He ran one thumb over her pebbled nipple, her tiny little whimpers letting him know that he was driving her wild.

“Austin,” she gasped as he broke off the kiss.

He kissed her again, more gently, slowly bringing the heat level back down. When they finally broke apart, he gazed down at her, meeting those deep brown eyes. “I’m going to miss you.”

“Me too. Do you think your CO would notice if I kidnapped you and then had my wicked way with you all week?”

He bit back a grin. “I dunno. The commander knows a bunch of Navy SEALs. I’m sure they’d have no trouble tracking us down. Think you could hold them off?”

“They wouldn’t dare get in my way,” she threatened, her brown eyes sparking with mischief.

Austin tried not to laugh. “True. Cock blockers, they are not. We’ve got the bro code and all.”

Alexa giggled, and he pulled her in for a long hug, his lips at her temple. She softened as he pressed his lips against her skin, and Austin swore his heart thudded in his chest. “Let’s put the food away. I’m going to be lost in you all evening if we don’t get back on track. Groceries. Dinner. Packing,” he said, dutifully reciting his list. “That’s the plan.”

“So, how was your day, baby?” Alexa teased, helping him to unpack the bags of food he’d brought over.

He raised his eyebrows.

“Just practicing. Since I couldn’t stay with you this week, I’ll take a rain check. I’m going to have you all to myself when you get back.”

“Oh yeah?” he asked with a chuckle.

“Oh yeah. I’ll be feeling better and plan to show you exactly how much I missed you.”

“Well, that’s a reunion I’ll look forward to,” he said.

“Me too,” she said with a sly smile.

Unable to resist, he pulled her close again, taking her mouth in a brief kiss. “I wish I didn’t have to leave,” he said, growing serious. Alexa’s smile faltered. “Shit. I didn’t mean to make you sad.”

“You didn’t,” she said, but he could see the trace of fear in her eyes. “I promise you didn’t. I’m glad you came over, because now I get to see you before you have to go.”

“Like I’d leave without saying goodbye.”

She shrugged, looking slightly upset. “My dad rushed off all the time. If something urgent arose, he was gone. I didn’t know much difference as a child, but he basically put his career before my mother and me for my entire life. If there was no time for goodbyes, so be it.”

“No offense, but he was kind of a dick, Lex.”

Her laughter surprised him, but despite the topic, he couldn’t deny it felt good to see her smiling again. “He was, which is why I’m not sad to live on a different island than him.” The doorbell rang, and Austin looked at her quizzically. “I ordered dinner for us,” she said. “I’m not quite up for cooking yet, since I can’t stand for too long, but I got food from your favorite Thai place.”

“Marry me,” he joked before turning to go answer the door. She was laughing again, but warmth flooded his chest. He’d told Alexa about the MREs they frequently ate on missions. Some of the meals were decent enough, and some had all the taste of cardboard. He kind of loved that even though she was recovering, she’d thought of him. Alexa might be flirtatious, fun, and up for anything, but he loved her softer side, too.

Loved?

It was too soon to be declaring that, but hell. There were a whole host of things he loved about Alexa, including the woman herself. It should’ve scared the shit out of him to feel that way so quickly, but instead it just felt good. Right.

“That smells heavenly,” she said as he walked back into the kitchen carrying the plastic bag of Thai.

“Getting your appetite back?” he asked. “That’s a good sign.”

“I am. Stopping the heavy-duty pain meds is actually making me feel a lot better,” Alexa admitted, brushing back some of her dark hair. “I’m still sore and taking ibuprofen, but I’m not tired or nauseous anymore.”

“That’s great, but promise me that you’ll still take it easy while I’m gone,” Austin said, glancing at her as he set the bag on the counter. “I hate that I won’t be here.”

“Austin,” she said, moving closer. She reached up, putting her delicate hands on his cheeks as she rose to her tiptoes, and gave him a sweet kiss. “I love that you worry about me, but I promise I’m okay. Being in pain sucked, but I swear the recovery is about a million times better than that. I’m getting stronger each day.”

“I know,” he said, taking her hands in his own. They stood there a moment, gazing at each other. The food was still on the counter, just waiting for them to dive in, but the kitchen felt silent and still around them. The sunlight coming in danced across Alexa’s features, making her look softer and so damn precious to him. He couldn’t even express his emotions in words. Was it love? If so, it had never felt like this before.

He gently brushed back a strand of Alexa’s hair, his fingers gently caressing her soft skin. Her lower lip wobbled, and it was all he could do to hold it together himself, to be strong for her.

“Lex,” he said gently, thumbing away a drop of wetness suddenly rolling down her cheek. “I’ll be fine. It’ll be a quick mission, and I’ll miss you like hell, but I’ll be back before you know it.”

“That’s what they all say,” she joked half-heartedly.

He pulled her into his arms, holding her close. She felt so damn fragile, her small body shuddering as she held back a sob. His hand landed on the back of her neck, his thumb stroking her nape. She melted into him, and he wanted to stay that way, stuck in this moment forever.

Her stomach rumbled a minute later. “You’re hungry,” he murmured. “Let’s get some food in you.”

“Yes, sir,” she mock-saluted as she pulled back, but she winked and blew him a kiss. Her eyes were still watery, but she was doing her best to pull herself together. “I’ll be fine while you’re gone, so make sure you focus on the mission. Don’t worry about me,” she ordered, much to his amusement. Like he could forget about her if he tried. “I’ll have Callie around if I need a ride, and I can order whatever else I need and have it delivered to my apartment. I already rearranged my photography schedule a bit.”

“I thought you couldn’t?” he asked.

“Yes and no. Locals are easier than tourists. Of course, if I’m booked for a wedding, I can’t pick an entirely new day. I’ve got one coming up this weekend. Callie’s going to help me Friday, too.”

He was quiet as they grabbed plates and dished out their food, moving to her small kitchen table. Asking Lex to reschedule them all wasn’t something he had any right to do. He wasn’t happy she wanted to push herself though when she was only days into her recovery.

“Oh gosh, this is good,” she groaned, taking a bite of Pad Thai. “I think I’ve died and gone to heaven.”

“It’s damn good,” he agreed, digging in to his own plate of food. “That reminds me,” he said a few minutes later. “I did some research on Duke Murphy. He lives on the other side of the island, up on the North Shore, but I want you to be careful while I’m gone.”

“I’ll barely be going anywhere. I can’t drive yet, remember? I’ll basically only be out when Callie helps with my photoshoots. Plus, like I told you the other day, my father said Duke is in San Diego for the week.”

“I know, but we don’t know when he’ll return. Promise me you’ll stay alert. You have the picture of him that I showed you?”

“Of course. I know who to watch out for.”

“I told my CO about the situation, too. Not surprisingly, he was familiar with Duke. The guy liked to stir up shit when he was enlisted. It came back to bite him in the ass, but as much as I hate to say it, your father was right. The guy is dangerous. Desperate people can do desperate things.”

“What he’d get discharged for anyway?”

“A knife fight. He had a disagreement with a couple sailors at a bar and decided to retaliate a few days later.”

“Jesus.”

“Your father was far from the only person he had problems with. However, your dad was directly involved in preventing Duke from getting promoted. While Duke made his own bad choices along the way, he seems to have singled out your father.”

“Lovely,” Alexa muttered. “Although let’s be real. My dad’s not the easiest to get along with.”

They finished eating in comfortable silence, and Austin could tell she was mulling over what he’d told her. Dinner went by all too quickly, and after snuggling together on the sofa for half an hour, Austin had to get home to finish packing. He needed to report to base at oh-three-hundred for final preparations. Alexa had been putting up a brave front, but now tears smarted her eyes as she looked up at him as they stood near her door.

“Baby, don’t cry,” he said, pulling her in for a long hug.

“I’m not,” she insisted, swiping away her tears. “I’m fine. And if we’re together—”

“We’re together,” he interrupted, wanting no doubt in her mind.

“Right. I just mean that since we’re together, I’ll have to get used to you leaving. You guys deployed before while we were dating. It just…feels harder now.”

He nodded, knowing exactly what she meant. He had more to lose. They both did. Up until her health scare, he’d been okay with letting everyone think they were casual. Things had started to feel like far more than that, and seeing her in the hospital had only cemented that thought in his mind. “I’ll call you as soon as I get back. You know the drill. I hate that I have to leave, but promise me you’ll be safe while I’m gone, Lex.”

“You be safe,” she said urgently.

He kissed her once, hard, and then his stomach dropped as he finally had to say goodbye. Austin opened the door, Alexa clutching onto his free hand with both of hers. He looked back, hating the tears streaming down her cheeks.

“I’m fine. I’ll probably cry when you’re back, too, except those will be happy tears.”

He clenched his jaw and nodded, a whole torrent of emotions whirling through him. Their other goodbyes hadn’t felt like this. Austin kissed her one last time, and then he was stepping back and watching her door close. As he heard the deadbolt, he finally turned away to stride down her hallway. The sun was setting, beautiful colors painting the sky, and he felt a lump in his throat. He had to pack. Take out the trash. Empty the few things left in his fridge. Text Wyatt. The long to-do list couldn’t drown out the thoughts churning through his head. He had to leave her, the girl that he was falling in love with, when she was helpless and in pain. He’d never regretted his deployments before or questioned his career as a Navy SEAL, but life with Alexa had changed everything.