Chapter 16

16

W as it too soon to tell Finley he loved her?

Yes. Definitely yes.

Or maybe not.

He went back to his laptop, trying to delve into the scene he was currently writing. He couldn't. Every time he attempted to get his characters to talk to one another, all he could think about was Finley.

He loved her. Without a doubt, he loved her. But he couldn't tell her. No way. It was too soon to let his head go there. Finley was bright. Sweet. Talented. And cautious. She'd been burned badly before. If he declared his feelings now, she would think he was insincere.

No, he would keep his mouth closed and do what he had been doing. Let her be in control.

Restless, he thought about going for a walk, but even that didn't appeal to him. He decided to go into town. Stop at Java Junction for coffee and a Danish. Walk around the square. Turn up Main Street. See if that could get him back on track.

Holden drove into town, thinking again that he needed to return Wolf's truck soon. Maybe after coffee, he could drive into San Antonio and stop at a couple of dealerships.

He parked on the square, seeing it had a nice-sized crowd for ten o'clock on a Saturday morning. Once inside the coffeehouse, he ordered a drink. As he waited for it, he glanced around, seeing the place was mostly full.

Then Dax stood, waving him over. Holden saw he sat with Braden. He liked both men. Hoped they would both become friends. He already felt a friendship forming with Dax.

Holding up a finger in acknowledgement, he saw Dax take a seat again. The teenaged barista called Holden's name, and he claimed his coffee, taking it across the room and joining the two men.

"Good to see you," Braden said, offering Holden his hand.

Dax did the same, and Holden sat, placing his coffee on the table in front of him.

"How is the writing going?" Dax asked cheerfully.

"It's not," he said flatly.

"Why?" Braden asked. "It's your source material. I'd think you would know these people and the plot inside and out. I understand it's the first time you're trying to write something in a different format, but doesn't every writer get stuck at some point anyway?"

"It's more than being blocked. It's not as if I'm stymied. I simply can't concentrate."

"Because of Finley," Dax said, a knowing look in his eyes. He looked to Braden. "We've been there. We get it."

"I've always been able to block out everything when I'm writing. Escape into the world I've created. But every time I've tried to do that this morning, all I can think about is Finley."

"You're in love with her," Braden stated.

Holden nodded. "I am. How can I be so miserable and elated at the same time?"

"You've never been in love before, have you?" Braden asked.

"No." He was silent a moment. "I lived with someone a long time. I thought I was in love with her. Now that I'm with Finley, though, I realize just how wrong that relationship was. It had nothing to do with love and everything to do with convenience."

"So, you're not still hung up on this woman?" Dax asked.

He shook his head firmly. "No. Not only were the feelings not there, we parted on a pretty bad note. In fact, I didn't think I would be giving any woman the time of day— much less falling in love with one." He smiled wryly. "What do I do now?"

"You tell Finley that you love her," Braden said simply. "I know that sounds easy. It won't solve every problem. Being in love with a woman means working on your relationship. I do know from experience, though, that once you do tell her? Not only will you be on top of the world, but you'll be better for it. Sharper. More focused. About your work and life, in general."

"You sound as if you know what you're talking about."

"I was engaged. Before meeting Harper," Braden told him. "I thought we had a lot in common. I thought we loved one another and would be able to weather any storm. The scandal which slammed my family, though, hit us like a ton of bricks. She couldn't take it. She left. And I was alone. I blinked and had no job. No family. No friends or fiancée. Looking back, I'm surprised I wasn't suicidal. My brother was."

Holden couldn't imagine things becoming so terrible that he'd want to check out on life.

Braden took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. "Bill Hart gave me a chance when no one else in the wine industry would. I packed up and came to Texas, ready to do my job and never look at another woman again. Yet meeting Harper was the best thing that ever happened to me. She changed my life. I can't imagine not having her in my life."

"I was married before I moved to Lost Creek," Dax revealed, shocking Holden since he couldn't see Dax with anyone but Ivy. "The marriage had lost its luster a long time before we split. I wanted to fix something that was so irretrievably broken, it was impossible. I found out my wife was cheating on me with my best friend. Talk about a double blow."

He let out a low whistle, sympathy filling him.

"It shook my world to the core," Dax said. "I knew I had to get as far away as possible and start a new life. I went from being an accountant with a rigid schedule and reinvented myself as a coffeehouse owner and singer-songwriter. Along the way, I meet Ivy— and that changed everything for me."

Dax paused, taking a swig from his mug and continued. "Like Braden, I'd pretty much sworn off women. Ivy, though, is the sweetest soul on the planet. She's so loving and giving. I found myself being drawn to her, swept away by feelings I'd never experienced." He shrugged. "I was smart enough to simply surrender to them. It was a battle I didn't care to fight, trying to keep her out of my life."

His gaze met Holden's. "You need to do the same. It's obvious to all of us that you're meant to be with Finley. When it's right, it's right. Give over to it, and I promise you that you'll never regret it."

Their words bolstered him, and Holden knew it was the right thing to do. To tell Finley that he loved her. The only decision that made sense.

"I'll tell her tonight. She's working a wedding and coming home with me after it."

Having made the decision, a peace descending over him. Holden spent the next half-hour relaxed and engaged with Dax and Braden. By the time he got back to the cottage, he was on fire to write.

Two hours later, he'd finished a scene, his gut telling him it was one of the best he had ever written. He went back and red through today's pages, changing very little. He felt so confident that he immediately emailed them to Wolf, eager for the director's input.

He closed his laptop and set it on the coffee table in front of him, leaning back, pillowing his head in his hands. He didn't think he would scare Finley off by his declaration of love. If she were feeling the same as he did, she would tell him. If she didn't seem as far along as he was, she would let him know that, too. One thing they did do well was communicate. He felt like there wasn't a topic under the sun they couldn't tackle and looked forward to having her in his bed again tonight. He believed making love to her would be even more special once he'd told her how much he loved her.

Glancing at his watch, he saw he had an hour before he needed to meet her at the winery. He went to the bedroom and dressed in a suit and tie, thinking he would spend the time before he left scrolling through some of his favorite sites. Instead, his cell rang, and he saw it was Evan McGill wanting to FaceTime with him. He had traded a few emails with the agent, but it would be good to talk with Evan now.

Holden answered and said, "How have you been, Evan?"

"Nothing ever changes with me," his agent said happily. "And that's a good thing because I like to make money. Just thought I'd check in with you, Holden. How is the writing going for you? How far along are you on the script?"

"As I told you, it was slow going when I first started. I'm really getting a feel for it now, though. It's an entirely new way of writing, but I'm really enjoying the challenge."

Evan scratched his chin. "Hmm. If you really do have a talent for it, it could open up a new world of opportunities for you. Maybe you could alternate, writing a novel and then a screenplay."

"Wolf has been complimentary of the pages I've sent to him so far. We had thought I would have a first draft by the end of February. That's still my goal, but it might happen a bit sooner."

"Why don't you send me the draft of the novel you finished before heading down to Texas?" Evan suggested.

"No," Holden protested. "It's not ready for you to see yet. I've got to polish it. You know how I am about that. I like to let it lie a while before going back and cleaning it up."

"I know it's not set in stone," his agent assured him. "If I read it now, though, it'll give me an idea what I'll be pitching. I can form a plan of attack."

He laughed. "I know you too well, Evan. Even though I know it still needs work, you'd start putting out feelers to my publishing house and other ones. You're simply going to have to be patient. Let me finish this first draft of the screenplay. Then I promise I'll turn my eyes back to the novel. Actually, I don't believe it's going to need a lot done to it. I felt really good when I finished it." He grinned. "I think I'm getting the hang of this writing thing."

Evan laughed heartily. "Okay. Keep me posted about when you finish the screenplay. I know you'll do some back and forth on it with Wolf, but do you think you'll stick around for the filming?"

"I'm staying in Texas permanently, Evan. It's home. I didn't realize how much I'd missed it until I was back."

"Will you get a place in Austin since you're from there?"

He shook his head. "I'm going to stay right where I'm living now. It's a small town in the Hill Country called Lost Creek. I'm making friends. Learning how to cook. I've even fallen in love."

Evan's eyes widened in surprise. "What? You haven't been there that long, Holden. I don't care how beautiful she is, she's sidled up to you because you've got fame and money. Don't let some stranger jump on your gravy train."

Holden burst out laughing. "You've got it all wrong, my friend," he told the agent. "Finley is amazing in her own right. She's a talented photographer. She doesn't need to sponge off me."

Evan still looked dubious. "Nose to the grindstone. Get the script finished for Wolf, and don't let this woman keep you so off-balance that you can't work."

With a sudden clarity, Holden said, "That woman is going to be my wife."

He ended the call with Evan, owning what he had just told his agent.

He wanted a life with Finley. Forever.

Holden had never thought in those terms in his entire life. Everything had always been in chunks. He always wanted to move to the next goal. First, it had been to get out of middle school. Then graduate from high school and escape his house. Earn a scholarship to college so new opportunities would open up. Graduate. The loftiest goal had been to be admitted to the Iowa workshop, and he had bided his time teaching until he gained admission to the program. Then it had been to sell a book. Write another and sell it. Rinse and repeat.

Things changed when Wolf threw a new goal into the mix, a challenge that came at the perfect time for Holden to accept. It was funny how he now realized Madison had never been a goal, much less a part of any of the goals he set for himself. He'd done a disservice to both of them, taking her for granted and not working on their relationship more. If he had, he would have quickly become aware of the fact they weren't a true fit and ended things long before he had.

Then again, relationships were a two-way street. Madison could also have tried harder from her end, as well. She hadn't. Instead of sharing things with him, Madison had vanished for hours at a time each day. He wondered now if she had actually been writing— or if she had been seeing someone else. Maybe her indignant anger directed at him when he wanted to end their relationship might have been a reaction to the guilt she felt.

He would never know. He never planned to speak to Madison again.

His new goal was a life goal, one to work on over years. Nothing related to his career. He wanted to love Finley. Marry her. Build a life with her. He'd never pictured himself as husband material, much less being a father. Not after the father he'd had and the childhood he'd escaped. Still, he wanted a chance at being a dad. He could think of no better partner to parent with than Finley. She would have to teach him what true family life was like. Once he met her family, he would understand more how to do so.

Holden pictured a life for them in Lost Creek. Buying a house. Getting a dog. Raising kids. Pursuing their art. It brought a deep satisfaction to him. Yes, he was meant to spend the rest of his life with Finley Farrow.

And he would let her know that tonight.