33. Callan

33

Callan

T he soles of my boots brushed against the jute doormat as I stomped the dirt off. I’d moved all my lessons for this Saturday into the week so I could take that day off for Avery’s birthday party. My week was packed because of it, but I wouldn’t miss her party or her birthday dinner for anything.

As much as admitting it scared me, I was growing attached to Avery. Her mother and I were already set in stone, but earning that little girl's trust and love was important.

I found my mom in the kitchen prepping pie crusts for Avery’s party this weekend. Though there would be cake, Avery had apparently talked her into making three different kinds of pies for her party as well.

“Good day?” Mom asked as she rolled out the dough .

“Been doing lessons back to back since seven a.m., so it’s been a day to say the least.” Some of the local kids were homeschooled, which made their schedules a bit more flexible. I’d fit them in during the hours I’d typically be helping Dad out with the cows, which meant he’d been alone with Bailey most of the day.

Leaning my hands against the counter, I saw the smile on Mom’s face.

“What?”

She shook her head. “You really like them.”

I wasn’t sure if ‘like’ covered it anymore.

I reached up to take my hat off, my other hand running through my hair. “I just moved some things around so I could make it this weekend. It’s nothing big.”

She narrowed her eyes at me, pausing her rolling. “You’ve never changed your schedule for a woman.”

I knew she was referencing my ex and my inability to take on less clients just to spend more time with her. Back then, I hadn’t wanted to. But with Sage, it didn’t seem all that terrible of an idea.

It was a wonder how feelings could be swayed because of one person.

“It’s not just for her. I don’t want to disappoint Avery,” I told her.

She set the rolling pin on the counter next to the dough and brushed her hands off. “You’re not fooling me. ”

I could feel the blush crawling up my neck. Talking to my mom came easy, but if it was about girls, I couldn’t get the words out to anyone. Some part of talking about the person you liked felt vulnerable, like you were giving people the ability to hurt you by opening up that way. And if more people knew about my feelings for Sage, the more official it became. It wouldn’t just be between me and her anymore. It’d be public, and I wanted to be one hundred percent sure that was what she wanted.

“You can’t avoid things because you think they’ll end badly,” Mom said. “What if it ends up amazing?”

“I’m not saying it wouldn’t.” Hell, it already was amazing. She’d called me her boyfriend, and while it had come as a bit of a shock in the moment, I didn’t want to be anything else.

“But you’re not talking about it, and that tells me you’re scared.”

She knew me too damn well.

“I don’t want to mess this up with her and her daughter. They’ve got their own things going on, and I don’t want to overwhelm them with this. I’m happy with whatever Sage wants us to be at the moment, and I’ll move at her pace.”

Mom stared at me, not a hint of her thoughts showing on her face. “That’s what love is, Callan. Going through this life with whatever is thrown at you, together. Their things become yours and vice versa.”

I’d already let her problems become my own, and I wanted it that way. Sage didn’t deserve to go through any of this alone, and if I had to guess, she felt the same way about me .

“I’ll try to open up,” I said.

Mom picked up the roller again. “You can take on the world's burdens, but let the world take some of yours, too.”

My brows pulled together. “Is there something you’re trying to hint at here?”

She drew in a deep breath, looking down at the dough. She studied it for a moment, then said, “Beckham is coming home.”

My blood went cold with the thought of what that might mean. “Is he hurt?”

She shook her head, moving her gaze to me again. “No. God, no. He’s okay. He’s taking a break from rodeo.”

“Can he even do that?” I wasn’t sure what all the rules were, but he had to be bound by some kind of contract.

She gave an inch of a shrug. “I guess so. He didn’t go into much detail, but I’m sure he will when he gets here.”

If she said he wasn’t hurt, then I believed her, but not knowing the reason he was taking a break worried me all the more.

“When will he be here?” I asked.

“He said he has to wrap some things up, so he’s hoping a few weeks.”

I nodded, watching as she got back to rolling out the dough. Knowing he’d be home and not risking his life on those broncs should make me feel better, but it did little to comfort me right now.

Setting my hat back on my head, I opened the fridge to pull my enchilada dish out. I’d left it here so I could grab it after my lessons and head straight to Sage’s house. A quick glance at the clock told me I didn’t have time to shower like I’d planned. More time than I thought had passed since I walked inside.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said as I walked behind my mom toward the door.

“Drive safe, and tell Avery I said happy birthday.”

“Will do.”

With the dish in hand, I headed for my truck and fought the urge to call Beckham and ask what was going on. He’d tell us when he was ready, and tonight was about Avery.

I had to learn that I didn’t need to carry the weight of everyone’s problems on my shoulders all the time. Worrying about everyone else wouldn’t ease the anxiety that always sat on my chest like a brick. I couldn’t be in control of everything all the time, keeping everyone safe and healthy.

I was finally starting to learn my limits, and though it was going against my instincts to not pick up that phone and call him, it wouldn’t be the end of the world.

***

After parking my truck on the street, I walked up the driveway with the enchilada dish in hand, heading for the front door. Sage had texted me earlier to come in when I got here, but when I reached for the handle, it didn’t turn.

Frowning, I knocked on the door, then waited. Moments later, the door swung open, and Sage was standing there in an oversized t-shirt and leggings.

Avery was making crash noises somewhere in the house, most likely playing with her toys, as I stepped inside. Sage closed the door behind me, bolting it.

“Everything okay?” I asked, nodding toward the door.

She wrung her hands together, then stopped and wiped them on her shirt. “The oven is preheated if you want to pop those in.”

Then she disappeared down the hall.

My brows drew together as I watched her go, but instead of following her, I entered the kitchen to put the dish in the oven.

“Callan!” Avery squealed when she saw me from the living room.

“Aves! Happy birthday!” I set the glass dish on the counter right as she shot around the corner and into my arms. Lifting her under the armpits, I spun her around, then plopped her back on the ground.

“Did you bring gifts?” she asked, the biggest smile on her face.

“I brought enchiladas,” I said, taking the covering off the top. Opening the oven door, I slid them in, then turned on a timer.

“That’s not a gift,” she stated with a frown.

“No? But you love food.” I left the plastic wrap on the counter in case we needed to reuse it later.

“Yeah, but I love gifts, too. ”

I hummed. “I guess I forgot.”

Her mouth dropped open on a gasp as a piece of her hair fell over her forehead. “You what?!”

I crouched down in front of her, brushing the hair out of her face. “I’m just kidding, Aves. I’m bringing your gifts for your party so you can show them to everyone.”

She huffed a breath of air out of her nose. “But I wanted some today.”

“You are. You’re getting one gift,” I told her.

Her face lit up. “Really?”

“Yep. Enchiladas.”

Her smile fell again, but I knew she was faking it. She may not remember, but during one of our lessons, she told me her favorite food was enchiladas because of the sauce.

“What if I told you I put extra sauce on them just for you?”

“What color?” she asked skeptically.

“Red,” I answered confidently. Red sauce was far superior than green.

She tried to hide the smile that threatened to show again. Man, she was stubborn, but undoubtedly adorable.

“I may forgive you,” she said.

“Good. Can’t go through this life without that.”

“Without what?”

“You by my side. You ever heard of a sidekick?”

She nodded. “Like superheroes.”

“Yep. And I’m just thinking, one day, if you get really good at riding, maybe you can be my sidekick out on the ranch.”

She gasped. “Really? ”

“Mhmm. But you can’t really be that if you don’t forgive me sometimes.”

“I forgive you all the time!” she said as a way of ensuring she’d get this role.

I chuckled. I really hoped so.

“Why don’t you go play with your ponies while I go talk to your mom, and I’ll let you know when dinner is ready?”

She wrapped her arms around my waist and I swallowed the lump climbing my throat. I never thought the adoration of a little girl would make me this emotional.

“Thank you for the enchiladas with extra red sauce,” Avery said, her voice muffled in my jeans.

“You’re welcome, Aves.”

She let me go and turned, running back to her toys. I headed out of the kitchen and down the hall to Sage’s bedroom. Her door was open, so I slipped inside and closed it slightly behind me, leaving it cracked in case Avery needed us.

Sage was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring down at her phone. I sat next to her and wrapped an arm around her, drawing her in closer to me.

“What’s wrong?”

She held the phone out to me and I took it with my other hand, looking at what was on the screen.

Unknown: Did you get the money?

My hand threatened to crush the phone in its grip, but I locked it, setting it on the bed next to me .

“They haven’t found him yet,” she said, confirming what I already knew.

“They will,” I assured her, running a hand up and down her arm.

Sage looked up at me, her eyes slightly glassy. “And if they don’t?”

“Then I will.”

She straightened. “Callan…”

My arm dropped from around her so I could grab her hand. “I’m not going to let him terrorize you, Sage.”

She stood, then slowly began pacing. “I didn’t want you in the middle of this.” A few more steps. “I’m sorry. I—”

Getting to my feet, I placed myself in front of her so she had to stop. “Sage, look at me.”

Her chest was rising and falling with the onslaught of anxiety as it crashed into her like a tidal wave, threatening to bring her under.

Her eyes met mine, and I saw the panic swirling in them.

“You don’t need to be scared. I’ve got you.”

“Yes, I do. Avery is vulnerable every day, I’m alone every day, and you can’t be there all the time.”

I cupped her face, the tips of my fingers buried in her hair. “And you are safe.”

She shook her head, the glass in her eyes becoming pools of tears.

“Yes, you are. I don’t know what Portland was like, but Bell Buckle sticks together. It’s not just the police, it’s the community. We all look out for each other, and no one is going to let him put his hands on you or Avery, especially me.”

She blinked, a tear spilling over her cheek. My thumb brushed it away, then I pulled her close, wrapping both arms around her and squeezing.

Seeing her panic like this made me want to stop at nothing until I was the one to put her ex six feet under. I didn’t know if a jail cell would suffice when he was caught.

“They’re going to find him, and he’ll be gone for good.”

She nodded, her hands fisting in my shirt. I’d never be able to live with myself if something happened to Sage, and knowing this asshole was out there finding joy in tormenting her filled me with a rage I’d never felt before.

The alarm went off on my phone from my back pocket, announcing that the enchiladas were done heating up. Pulling the phone out, I silenced it, then shoved it back in my jeans.

I pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Don’t let anyone dim that light of yours.”

With a sniffle, she looked at me. “It’s hard when you’re around.”

“Good. It should only shine brighter. And for the people that dim it? You don’t need to dwell on them. They’re not worth the space in your head if they aren’t making your life better.”

She blinked away her tears, then grabbed my hand. “How did I get so lucky?”

“I don’t know if luck has anything to do with it, baby.”

“No?”

I shook my head. “Things happen for a reason, I reckon. And you may be the reason I go to town, or the reason I look forward to getting out of bed now, but I won’t hang that up on luck. The world knew I needed someone to pull me out of my head, and it sent me you.”

She looked at me for a moment, really looked at me, then leaned forward and pressed her lips to mine. It felt like we were made to fit together like this.

Pulling back, I squeezed her hand once. “Ready for some enchiladas?”

She nodded, and I led us out of the room toward the kitchen.

“Is it done?” Avery asked from where she sat in the middle of the living room.

“All ready for a special birthday girl to dig in,” I replied as I dropped Sage’s hand to grab an oven mit.

“Why don’t you go wash your hands and we’ll have it all set at the table by the time you get back?” Sage asked.

Avery got up from her spot and her tiny feet padded down the hall to the bathroom.

I pulled the dish out of the oven, closed the door, then switched the knob to off. Sage set some heat-resistant mats on the table, so I placed the dish on top of them as she set plates and utensils out.

“That’s a lot of sauce,” Sage pointed out as she eyed the enchiladas .

I smirked, coming up behind her as she rounded the table to wrap my arms around her waist. My nose nuzzled her neck as goosebumps crawled up her skin.

“I could give you some special sauce,” I mumbled.

Despite her grin, she tried to pry my hands from around her. “Please do not tell me you just compared enchilada sauce to that.”

I chuckled, but it was cut short by Avery saying, “That’s a big enchilada!” as she came into the dining area.

Sage’s cheeks turned a deep shade of red as I unwrapped my arms from around her. I stepped to the side of her, keeping one hand on her lower back, and cleared my throat.

“It’s a bunch of enchiladas,” I corrected. I wasn’t sure if she thought the entire dish was just a single one.

Avery took her seat at the head of the table and I dropped my hand to Sage’s ass, giving it a quick pinch before I slid into my own chair.

She pursed her lips, shooting me a glare as she sat down.

“So, Avery. Do you know the cowboy blessing?” I asked.

“No. What’s that?”

Sage watched the two of us talk as I said, “Well, it’s this saying some people do before dinner.” I didn’t do this all that often, but with Avery’s interest in the ranch, I thought she might like it.

“What’s the saying? ”

I set my napkin on my lap. “May your belly never grumble, may your heart never ache. May your horse never stumble, may your cinch never break.”

Her smile grew as I spoke. “Is that what all cowboys say?”

Sage reached forward to grab the spatula so she could dish Avery up a portion.

“Some of them,” I told her.

“Is that what you and my mama are gonna say now?” she asked.

“If I’m here, sure,” I replied.

“Aren’t you dating my mama?”

The enchilada balanced on the spatula toppled on top of the others as Sage’s hand fumbled. “What?” Sage asked, surprised at the question.

“You guys are always touching and doing yucky stuff,” Avery said.

I bit my lip to hide my smile as I looked to Sage on this one. I really wasn’t sure how to tread on this.

“Well, Aves—” Sage started.

“You don’t have to keep it a secret, you know,” Avery stated.

Sage gathered herself and finished dishing Avery’s food up, then glanced at me before saying, “We’re dating.”

Avery used her fork to tear a bite of enchilada off instead of cutting it. “Okay.”

Sage reached over with her fork and knife, cutting her food for her. “Are you okay with that?”

Avery nodded as she chewed .

I braced myself for more, but nothing happened. No questions, no tears. She just watched her mom cut her food, then dug in once she was done. Sage and I stared at her for a minute, both expecting her to say something, but she didn’t.

After a deep inhale, Sage set her fork and knife on the edge of her plate and dished up her own food, then handed me the spatula.

We all ate as Avery told us about all the gifts she hoped to get tomorrow, and as I chewed and drank and listened, it hit me.

They were becoming my family.

And I didn’t want it any other way.