30. Sage

30

Sage

“ T hank you for finishing these last night and feeding Pudding her dinner,” I said as I stretched the plastic wrap over the top of the glass dish.

“Of course. I wasn’t lying when I said I wanted baking lessons,” Callan replied.

I let out a snort. “Yeah, yet your instructor fell asleep while they were in the oven.”

He set his cup of coffee on the counter and wrapped his arms around my waist from behind. “You needed the sleep.”

He was right. After barely getting any the night before, it was nice to feel rested this morning after waking up next to him. The lingering scent of pastry and cinnamon clung to the air when I emerged from the bedroom, and I wished I could wake up to that every morning.

“So, are you doing Avery’s party the weekend before or after her birthday?”

I’d gone back and forth on what day to do it because of the fair being the next weekend. Avery would be taking part in it with the horse rescue, so I didn’t want her burnt out.

Making sure the edges of the plastic wrap were held down tight, I twisted in his embrace to drape my arms loosely around his neck. Avery’s birthday landed on a Friday this year, so we’d have a nice dinner of her choosing that night, but the real celebration would be the next day. “The Saturday after.”

“Perfect,” he said, sliding his arms back to rest his hands on my hips. “Speaking of weekend plans, would you want to go on a few rides at the fair after the parade?” His cheeks turned the slightest shade of red with the question.

“With you?” I asked.

He frowned. “No. Alone.”

I smiled at that. “I’d love to.”

Seeing Callan blush over asking me if I’d like to go on a couple of fair rides was one of the cutest things I’d seen him do to date.

I hoped I had plenty more time to see him do a million more cute things just like that.

“I have to get to a lesson if you want to head out,” Callan offered.

“Yeah, I guess I should pick up Avery. It’s already almost seven.” I needed to drop her off at school after she had a cinnamon roll at the Bronsons. I wasn’t going to eat all of these, so I figured I’d bring the majority of them to all those hungry cowboys .

Callan’s fingers squeezed my hips. “I wish we had time to spare.”

My fingers ran through his hair as I scrunched my nose with a smile. “Not today, unfortunately. Later?”

One of his hands released my hip, bringing it up to tap my nose. “Later.”

Letting me go, he disappeared into the front entry while I opened the fridge to pull out Avery’s lunch I prepared last night before falling asleep. As I turned around, Callan set Avery’s backpack on the counter.

The way he thought to grab it, to help me with my morning routine in any way, made my heart skip a beat.

I wanted to get used to this.

“Do you need help with the party set up?” he asked as I slid the lunchbox inside her backpack.

I zipped the bag, then picked it up off the counter. “I don’t want to trouble you with it.”

He grabbed the backpack from my hand. “No trouble at all. I’d love to help set everything up for her big day.”

I pressed my lips together to hide my smile. “You do know there will be a lot of pink, right?”

He nodded.

“And with you at the party, you’ll have to wear a party hat. Avery will insist.”

“How could anyone say no to a party hat?”

I pictured him standing in the middle of a group of six-year-old girls wearing a pink party hat and glitter face paint, wondering how I got so lucky to find someone like Callan. He was so willing to do anything for my little girl, and if I had to guess, he’d do the same for me.

“How about dinner the night before the party? We can set it all up after Avery goes to bed.”

This time, I didn’t hide my smile. “That sounds perfect.”

***

I slipped through the door to Charlotte and Travis’s house with the plate of cinnamon rolls, my belly growling with the urge to eat one. Callan and I had parted ways after a long goodbye out front. We’d driven our separate cars here, and just in that short amount of time, I’d missed him. I wished we could have spent the day together, but he had lessons and I had to take Avery to school and head to work.

“Mama!” Avery exclaimed when she saw me. She hopped off the barstool she was perched on and came running over to me, wrapping her arms around my hips.

“Hey, Aves. Did you have a good night?”

She nodded as Charlotte came over from the kitchen to grab the plate from me. “We colored and played hide-and-seek, and I got to feed the horses dinner.”

I bent down, hooking her hair behind her ears so it was out of her face. “Did the horses like their dinner?”

She nodded again, some of her hair coming loose anyway. “They loved it. I even gave Red some treats. ”

“That sounds fun.” I took in her pink polka dot pajamas. “Why don’t you go get dressed and then you can eat a cinnamon roll before I take you to school?”

“Okay!” She zipped around me, heading down the hall while she talked about how excited she was to tell her friends all about feeding the horses.

I stood, making my way over to the barstool Avery was sitting in moments before. Charlotte slid a plate in front of me with a warmed-up cinnamon roll.

“Have some breakfast.”

“I have a bunch more at home. These are for your family.”

She waved me off, setting a fork on the plate in front of me. “They’ll eat plenty. Take a minute to have a bite.”

I gave in, picking up the fork and digging in. It wasn’t often I got to enjoy the flavors that danced on my tongue because more often than not, I was in a rush—unless it was three a.m. and I was having a late night snack when I couldn’t sleep.

“Thank you for watching Avery,” I said after taking a sip of the coffee she set in front of me.

“Anytime. As a mother myself, I know how hard it can be to have a few minutes alone when you need it.”

I set the fork down, wiping the corner of my mouth with a napkin. “How’d you do it with so many kids? Sometimes I can barely handle just one.”

She came around the counter to take a seat next to me, facing me on the barstool. “It seems impossible until you’re doing it, and then you realize you’d never want anything to be different. The chaos, the stress—it’s all worth it for our babies.”

“Is it hard? Having all of them doing their own things and not knowing if something could go wrong?” I didn’t know how I’d handle it one day when Avery had her first job or a boyfriend, but I only hoped by then that her father was locked away for good.

“That’s just what we deal with as mothers. We care so much for our children that it can wreck us, but I wouldn’t change being a mother for anything. Even if one of my kids got in a fight for their girl.”

My eyes widened slightly. “You know?”

She gave me a sad smile, so many unspoken words floating through her expression. “I notice everything about my kids. Every new scrape, bruise, or shadow in their eyes. Callan doesn’t fight for anyone besides the people he loves.”

I inhaled deeply, feeling the weight of what she wasn’t saying. “Did he tell you what happened?”

“I saw his bruised knuckles and the change in his usual calm demeanor when he was here yesterday. Being a mother, we just know things. And I know when my boys love something. I taught them to give everything their all, and he’s doing that for you. You’ve made him come out of his shell. He never used to go to town unless he had to. He was rarely himself after his ex made him decide between staying at this ranch or running off with her. Ever since, he hasn’t been vulnerable, hasn’t opened up. But, sweetie—” She reached over, setting her hand on top of mine. “—when he talks about you, I see it in his eyes. See every wall you’ve broken down without even realizing it.”

I blinked away the moisture threatening to build in my eyes and swallowed. “I just don’t want to scare him away.”

Her soft hand gave mine a squeeze. “Nothing could scare that boy away.”

“How do you know?”

“I raised him. Callan doesn’t run from the hard things, he hits them head on. He’ll take care of you and Avery. It’s in his blood.”

I slid my hand out from under hers to reach forward and give her a hug. Charlotte was that mom everyone wished they had. She was open to any conversation, always ready to give advice if you needed it. She never judged, and in a world so cruel, that’s all anyone really needed.

If there were any in-laws I wanted to go through the rest of my life with, it’d be these ones. The Bronsons welcomed me with open arms and understanding. I didn’t have to hide my past from them like I thought. They understood that no one was perfect, and that was just what I needed all along.

Acceptance.

For who I was and where I came from. For being a single mom barely scraping by.

None of the semantics mattered.

Just me and Avery, being loved by the people around us despite our past.

And that’s all I’ve ever wanted.

***

Parking my car out front of Bell Buckle Brews, I headed inside to start my shift. When I put my key into the lock on the door, I found it was already unlocked. I was the only one scheduled to work this morning, so either someone else was here or the closer forgot to lock the door on their way out yesterday.

Inching the door open, I slipped inside carefully to not stir the cowbell. If there was someone in here, I didn’t want to alert them to my entrance.

“Sage?”

My heart jumped into my throat as Gemma came out from the back, the door swinging behind her.

“Gemma. What are you doing here?” My hand dropped from where it had flown up to my chest at the scare.

“I wanted to help out,” she said hesitantly.

I glanced around the dining area, noting that each table was shining, every chair pushed in perfectly.

“You’re not scheduled until the afternoon.” I came forward, stopping at the edge of the counter.

“I know. I just… I wanted to talk before you left.”

“Hours before?” This wasn’t the typical Gemma I’d come to know. She was usually snappy and had no filter whatsoever.

She responded with a nod and stepped aside so I could get past her into the back. I set my wallet and phone in my locker, then got to work getting the ingredients I needed out from the fridge.

Gemma took a few baking sheets out of the bottom cabinet, setting them on the table behind me.

Setting the eggs on the counter, I closed the fridge to face her. “What did you want to talk about?”

She swallowed, wringing her hands together. “I don’t hate you.”

My brows pulled together.

“If you thought I did. I just wanted you to know that I don’t,” she clarified.

“I don’t think that you hate me.” I wasn’t sure where she was trying to go with this. And why now? Why bring it all up today? “Gemma, is everything okay?”

Her eyes fell to the ground, and I gave her all the time she needed to conjure up her response. I knew as well as anyone that people could have pain hidden far beneath the surface, and to voice it was to dig up bones that we’d rather stay buried.

“Four years ago, I lost the two people in this world who meant the most to me. A drunk driver took them from me.” She paused, her eyes blinking away the tears she tried to hold at bay. “I’ll never get what you have, Sage.” She finally looked at me, quickly glancing to my stomach before darting back to my face, and I saw it all.

The pain. The reason for her lashing out at me.

“I’m so sorry.” But sorry couldn’t erase that pain from her past. It wouldn’t make any of it better.

“It’s alright,” she said, sniffling as she wiped a finger under her eyes. “Four years is a long time to cope. I’ve come to terms with what happened that night. But when you first moved here, shortly after I did, and you’d bring Avery into the cafe sometimes, seeing your little girl made me envious for all the wrong reasons. It wasn’t your fault.”

“I know,” I admitted quietly. Trauma messed with the human brain. It’d find reasons to excuse what happened; pin your anger on others who weren’t even involved. “It’s not our fault, Gemma.”

She nodded, but I could tell she’d been trying to convince herself of that for a long time. I crossed the room, pulling her into a hug.

“It’s not our fault,” I repeated.

I’d say it a million times over again if I needed to. To engrain it in our brains that the reason we were dealt the hands we got was not because of us.

It wasn’t my fault Jason would hit me when he was angry, and it wasn’t Gemma’s fault that that person decided to drive inebriated.

We were strong enough to get through this.

Gemma pulled back, dropping her arms. “It wasn’t your fault either, Sage. Whatever pain you hold, it wasn’t inflicted because of you.”

My lips pressed together as I nodded. “It wasn’t. I know that now.”

She glanced at the clock hanging on the wall. “Why don’t you go open the store while I get the ovens going?”

“You don’t want to head home before your shift?”

She shook her head. “I’m okay staying.”

“Alright, well, if you change your mind, I won’t mind.”

I headed for the door, but paused with my hand resting on it when Gemma said my name. I looked back at her.

“I’m sorry for any trouble I’ve caused you. It wasn’t my intention,” she said.

“It’s been no trouble at all, Gemma. It’s okay.”

She gave a closed-lip smile, though it didn’t reach her eyes.

Maybe not today, but someday, we’d be okay.

Pain couldn’t be the forefront of what we felt forever.

There was more to this life than that. It had just taken me longer than I would have liked to figure that out.