26. Sage

26

Sage

A fter Callan dropped me and Avery at home, I drove Avery to school just in time for the first bell to ring. Since it was my day off, I didn’t have to rush to work afterwards, so I went home and deep cleaned the entire house.

It took all I had in me not to go back to the ranch to see Callan while Avery was at school, but she had a lesson today, so I’d see him then anyway. I feared I was getting too attached to the idea of us too soon, like this was too good to be true. But nothing about Callan gave me the impression that he’d be anything like Jason, so I had to stop comparing.

As I sat in the school pickup line with my car idling, all I could think about were those two texts. I hadn’t received any more since, but that made me even more nervous than if he’d kept trying. If he wasn’t texting, that meant he was finding another way.

Though the car wasn’t moving, my hands were still gripped tight to the wheel, like my hold on the leather could keep everything from falling apart.

The back door popped open and I jumped, the fog in my head clearing with Avery’s voice. “Hi, Mama.”

“How was school?” I asked, turning around in my seat to make sure she buckled herself in.

“Good. Lucy and I wanna have a playdate,” she said as she situated her backpack on the middle seat, then worked on her seatbelt.

“Today?”

Her little fingers clicked the buckle in. “She had to go to the dentist, but probably soon.”

Turning back around, I shifted into drive and pulled out of the pickup line, going around the other cars. “Just let me know what day and we’ll figure something out.”

“Okay. Are we going to the horses?”

Flicking on my blinker, I headed onto the main road. “Yep. Why don’t you put your boots on while we’re on the way?”

She was silent for a moment, then said, “Did you bring them?”

“They’re not in here? I thought we left them in here from the last lesson.”

I glanced at her in the rearview mirror as she shook her head. “No. I put them inside, remember? ”

I didn’t. “It’s okay. We’ll stop by the house on the way, then.”

It wasn’t too far out of the way, but we’d be late to the lesson regardless.

A few minutes later, I pulled up our driveway and got out at the same time as Avery. I was getting the key ready when she let out a little shriek. I followed her line of sight to the front porch, where Pudding was sitting like she’d been waiting this whole time.

“Pudding!” Avery squealed, running up the steps. The cat unfolded her tail, standing with the anticipation of being pet. She scooped her up, hugging her tight. “Mama, do you see her?”

“I do. She looks so happy.” Really, the cat’s face was squished against Avery’s cheek and she squirmed slightly. “Let’s get her inside before she takes off again.”

I unlocked the door, letting Avery in first, and made sure to shut it fully before Avery set her down. Pudding instantly rolled to her back with her tail swishing.

“I didn’t think she would come back!” Avery exclaimed, bending to pet her belly.

I could hear the cat’s purring from here. “Do you still want to go to your lesson?” She looked too excited to leave the cat so soon.

“Yeah, I wanna go! Pudding will be here when we get back, won’t you?” She looked down at the cat for an answer, giving her a rub on her cheek.

“Alright, then. Get your boots or we’re going to be late.” Even though we already were with our little detour.

Avery bent to kiss Pudding on the top of her head, then jumped up and ran to her bedroom. Seconds later, she reappeared, pink boots in hand.

“Anything else you need to grab?” I asked.

She shook her head. “All good.”

I ushered her out the door, making sure that Pudding stayed put. Locking the door, we hurried back to the car, and I waited to pull out until Avery was buckled in.

She swapped her shoes for the boots on our way there, humming along to the song on the radio. The sky was slightly overcast, but as far as I was aware, the forecast hadn’t called for rain. If it did, I just hoped it held off until Avery’s lesson was over.

As we pulled up, Callan was coming out of the barn with a black box in his hands. He wore a casual smile under his dirt-stained cowboy hat, and in that moment, I wanted to forget about everything else and soak him in. He looked like the sunshine peeking through the clouds that had hovered over me for far too long.

“Sage, Avery,” he greeted as we got out.

“Guess what!” Avery squealed as she approached him.

“What?” he questioned with a small chuckle at her excitement.

“Pudding came home today! ”

He seemed a bit shocked at first, but quickly wiped it away with a bigger grin. “I told you our little trick would work. Which flavor food drew her in?”

Avery scrunched her face. “Salmon.”

“Ah. Typical fish to lure in a cat.”

Avery’s eyes fell to the box, like she hadn’t seen it at first. “What’s that?”

“It’s for you.” He knelt down so she had a better angle to open the lid on the box.

“For me?”

“Yep. It’s a gift.”

Avery swiveled her head to look at me. “Can I open it?”

“Of course.”

She turned back around and gently slid off the lid, then peeled away a piece of plastic wrapping. I peered over her shoulder, seeing something pink in the middle.

Avery reached in and pulled out a helmet, all pink with black straps. I didn’t have to look to know she had the biggest smile on her face.

“A pink helmet!” she exclaimed with a little jump.

“Now you don’t have to borrow any of the ones here,” Callan said, setting the lid back on the box.

“It’s all mine?” she asked.

Callan nodded. “All yours, Aves.”

I was already smiling, but it grew with the use of the nickname. Something about it felt more personal. I called her that all the time, along with a few other people, but Callan saying it felt different. It felt like another step into whatever this was between us.

“Can you help me move the strap thingies?” she asked.

He nodded. “Put it on.”

She did, then he reached up under her chin and adjusted the straps so it fit her nice and snug. “How’s that?”

She tossed her head back and forth to be sure. “It’s perfect,” she replied, and then threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck with such force that he almost fell back on his ass.

He looked at me, a few pieces of her hair clinging to the stubble on his jaw. He was…beaming.

“Thank you,” she murmured into his shoulder.

“You deserved to have one of your own,” he said.

She let him go and stepped back as he rose. “Can we ride now?”

He nodded, and fuck, I could truly watch the two of them interact all damn day.

“We can ride.”

***

Rain didn’t come for the entirety of Avery’s lesson, the looming storm having mercy on us before it decided to strike. I’d watched the entire time, only taking my eyes off of Avery to check the driveway behind me. Though no cars drove up it, my mind was playing tricks on me, making me imagine the sound of tires on gravel when there was none.

He hasn’t found me. We’re okay.

And even if he had somehow managed to figure out where Avery and I were, I had to believe that Callan wouldn’t let anything happen to us. I needed to tell him what was going on, but I was scared that it would make him run the other way.

The last thing I wanted to do was put all my baggage on his shoulders when we’d just started getting to know each other.

“Want to go for a ride?” Callan asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I turned to him. “What?”

“Just out in the field. Not far or anything,” he explained.

“I can’t ride,” I said. I’d never been on a horse before.

He and Avery must have decided on this plan before she untacked, because behind Callan, she came walking out of the barn with Red strolling behind her.

“I’ve got the perfect horse for you.” He took a step to the side as Avery came up beside him and gestured to Red.

My eyes widened slightly. “Him?”

Callan shrugged. “Avery is pretty confident that you’ll be a pro right off the bat.”

I eyed Avery. “Is that so?”

She nodded with way too much enthusiasm, the thought of throwing her mother on a horse way too appealing. “You’re good at everything you do, Mama.”

Emotion hit me like a tidal wave. It was such a light comment, but it held so much weight.

Not at keeping her hidden.

The thought came out of nowhere, and I wanted to shove it away, but that little voice was telling the truth.

I couldn’t even keep her away from him, and now that she was older, she’d know what was happening if he came near her. She asked about her dad sometimes, but she knew he wasn’t a good person. I just didn’t want her to know how cruel he could really be.

“Mama?”

I blinked, coming back to the present. “I can try.”

Sometimes, like right now, I had to remind my fear that I was the one who held the reins. It wouldn’t get a hold of me today.

She smiled, offering the leather reins to me. My eyes moved to Callan, who was staring at me with…concern. He had to have seen my emotions displayed on my face. But he didn’t know what they were about.

I had to tell him soon. Otherwise, he’d find out some other way, and I wanted him to hear it from me.

Stepping forward, I grabbed them from Avery, then came around the side of the horse.

“Why don’t you go get your horse tacked up while I help your mom?” Callan said to Avery, and she took off back into the barn with a nod .

Callan came up behind me and I inhaled, measuring the height of the horse compared to my size. I could barely see over the saddle.

“Want to tell me what that was about?” Callan asked as my gaze moved to the stirrup.

I could lie and tell him everything was fine, but the idea felt sour on my tongue.

“There are some things that I need to tell you about, but now probably isn’t the time.”

He set a hand on my waist, then reached around me with the other to position the stirrup at an easier angle for me to slip my foot in. “Later, then.”

I lifted my leg, the height slightly awkward, but slipped the toe of my shoe in, then hoisted myself up. With Callan’s hands both on my waist now, he helped balance me as I swung my leg over and situated my opposite foot in the other stirrup.

He repositioned the stirrups to better suit me, then set a hand on my thigh as he looked up at me. “But we will be talking about it.”

I nodded. “I promise. I just— I don’t want to in front of Avery.”

His eyes softened, understanding written on his face. Before the shift of his features, I hadn’t realized just how worried he was. It was all over him, his concern out in the open for me like the pages of a flipped open book.

I wasn’t very good at hiding things, but I was learning it was especially difficult to keep things from him .

I didn’t even have to say anything for him to know something was wrong.

All of a sudden, it hit me that it was a trait I wished everyone held—the ability to tell if something was wrong just by looking at someone. So many people were blind to others suffering, but Callan spotted it like a shooting star in a midnight sky.

Maybe Callan could be my shooting star, making my wishes of safety come true.