Chapter 66

Chapter 66

C iana twisted her hands, her nerves like the brush of hot coals beneath her skin.

The main palace courtyard was a frenzy of movement—stable hands ran to and fro, lugging tack and bags and food to the line of waiting horses. Mariah’s Armature, expressions tense, weaved amongst the horses and stable hands, tightening cinches and securing weapons. Sebastian was in a quiet, strained conversation with Drystan and Feran while Delaynie stood to Ciana’s left, her friend even more quiet and pale than usual.

Something had happened between Delaynie and Mariah during Ryenne’s vigil. Not wanting to overwhelm Delaynie, Ciana had left before Mariah had arrived, giving her friend and her queen time together alone. Delaynie had looked like a ghost ever since and even now clutched her arms across her chest as though she might float away if she let herself go. Every so often, Delaynie’s fingers would brush across her throat as if seeking something that was no longer there.

Ciana’s face tightened into a scowl. She opened her mouth, about to ask what was wrong, when a presence yanked her attention away.

“Hey, Cee.”

Mariah wore all black—leather-lined leggings for the ride, a sleeveless tunic, a reinforced jerkin fitted snugly across her chest. Her twin short-swords crisscrossed behind her back, dragon-winged dagger holstered at her thigh, her dark, shoulder-length hair tucked behind her ears.

She looked more like a warrior than a queen. But Ciana supposed she was. Queens didn’t always need to wear their crowns.

Especially not on missions to rescue their families.

Ciana answered Mariah’s greeting with a forced grin, pushing aside her fear and frustration. “Hi, M.”

Mariah’s mouth lifted into a hesitant smile. “Are you … Do you have everything you need? For while we’re gone.”

Ciana waved her off. “Yes, yes. Everything’s fine. Don’t worry about me.” She scanned Mariah. “But you, though … How are you?” She whispered at the end, unable to hide her worry.

Mariah glanced away, looking across the courtyard toward the movement by the stables. Feran now stood beside Kodie, checking over the tack and Mariah’s bags.

“I’m ready.” Mariah’s answer was terse and short. There was a tightness to Mariah’s jaw, her throat bobbing as she swallowed. Light danced around her fingertips, the way it always did when she was feeling something so strongly, she couldn’t contain it beneath her skin.

Someone else stepped around Mariah’s shoulder. The one person still missing from the courtyard, appearing out of nowhere like the annoying shadow he was.

Ciana focused on Andrian. He, too, was dressed in all black, a longsword slung across his back. He watched Ciana with a disinterested mask, eyes darting between her and Mariah.

Despite the ambivalent facade, he couldn’t hide the emotion in his eyes. Not when he looked at their queen.

Ciana’s hands tightened into fists. Mariah took a surprised step back as Ciana stomped around her, not halting until she was chest to chest with Andrian.

Except … she was so much shorter; the top of her head barely reached his chest.

Swallowing her grumble of annoyance, Ciana twisted her brow into a scowl, tilting her chin up to meet Andrian’s stare. He regarded her with mild curiosity as she crossed her arms over her chest.

They glared at each other for a few heartbeats as Ciana organized her thoughts. Long enough for Mariah to shift uncomfortably from foot to foot.

“You know,” Ciana began, staring hard into his bright blue eyes, “I never really liked you much. You’ve always been a bit of an asshole and a dick, and grumpy whenever there was no reason to be. You’re rude and stand-offish and sometimes say things just to hurt other people. Plus, the shadow wielding has always kind of freaked me out.”

Andrian arched a single brow, the corner of his lip twitching.

“But,” Ciana continued, her tone settling into something more serious. Just a little sadder. “I’ve also watched you change. You’re still all those things, but it’s more tolerable now. And I don’t blame you, either. I think it’s something we have in common.”

Andrian still didn’t speak. Only shot a quick glance at Mariah before returning his gaze to Ciana, blinking once.

Ciana smiled and nodded. “I, too, came to this palace broken and in need of saving. And I get it. I know the way she can heal someone. The way she healed me. And I think … the way she healed you, too.”

“Hey, wait—I’m not some healer, I didn’t?—”

Ciana held up a hand to her queen. Mariah let out a soft yelp of surprise but fell silent.

“Listen to me, Andrian Laurent. I know you don’t value much in this world; I sure didn’t. Not before I met our queen. But I know you treasure her. This kingdom needs her—more than either of us knows. So if you don’t bring her home to us, I swear to all the gods that I will chop off your balls and feed them to you. Do I make myself clear?”

“Ciana, calm down. Don’t be dramatic?—”

Mariah’s protest was cut short when Andrian moved.

He took a step back from Ciana. Without ever breaking eye contact, he lifted his right hand, curling it into a fist and resting it over his heart. Over his Mark.

In a slow, measured movement, Andrian lowered his knee to the ground, still not looking away.

“Ciana Visseau,” he said, voice low and darker than his shadows. “I swear to you, by all the gods of this world—and of the worlds beyond—that I will bring our queen home. I will give my life for hers. Not just because she is my queen, but because she is more precious to me than the moons and stars themselves. You have my word; her reign will not end with this journey.”

All movement in the courtyard halted at the dark Armature kneeling before the golden lady. The final words of his vow echoed off the cobblestones, falling like stars.

Ciana swallowed thickly. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Mariah standing, mouth agape, a single tear tracking down her cheek. Locking her stare back on Andrian, Ciana nodded.

“I accept your vow, Armature. And I intend to hold you to it.”

Andrian dipped his head before rising to his feet. He closed the gap between himself and Ciana, and with an almost-hesitant movement, rested his hand on her shoulder.

“I know you never liked me much, Ciana,” he said, his words just for her. “But I always admired you. And I’ve always been grateful to you for being there for her when I wasn’t ready to be.”

Tears pricked behind Ciana’s eyes. She nodded again, a short, sharp movement.

She understood now what Mariah saw in him. She hadn’t fully comprehended it before, but with that honesty, she got it.

With a smile cast her way, Andrian stepped back from her, rejoining his queen. Ciana turned as he went, and with her tears choking her throat, hurtled herself into Mariah’s arms, nearly knocking her off balance.

“I’m sorry,” Ciana whispered as she gripped her friend tight. “I didn’t mean to cause a scene. I just … We all need you to come back to us.”

Mariah pulled back from her embrace and smiled. “I know, Cee. Don’t worry. I’ll come back. And I’ll have my family with me, and we’ll be ready to take on whatever else those fuckers try to throw our way.”

Ciana chuckled, the sound thick with her tears. “Good.”

They were quiet for a moment, two friends watching each other.

Mariah’s face fell slowly. Shifted into something more serious, more masked and composed.

“Cee,” she began, her voice measured. “Do you … Were you ever given a piece of jewelry with a black and gold stone in it? Maybe around the time of your first debutante ?”

Ciana started. Of all the questions, that was not one she’d been expecting.

“Well, yeah, I guess,” she said, confusion spiking in her gut. “My …” She swallowed. “My stepfather gifted me a ring on my first debutante . It had a small black and gold stone in the center.”

Mariah glanced down to her fingers, and Ciana watched her heave a great sigh of relief when she saw Ciana wasn’t wearing it.

“Why, Mariah? What’s happening?”

“You don’t wear it anymore?” Mariah ignored her question, glancing between Ciana’s hands and her face.

Ciana shook her head. “Not really, no. It was never my style. I wore it every day back home because my stepfather would’ve been furious if I hadn’t. But since I’ve come here, I haven’t put it back on.”

“Good. Don’t.” A strange urgency was in Mariah’s voice, a feverish light igniting behind her eyes. “I’ll explain everything when I’m back, Cee. But there is so much more going on in this kingdom than we ever knew. Just whatever you do, don’t put that ring back on. In fact, it’s probably best if you don’t even touch it until I’m back.”

Ciana nodded slowly. “Okay. I won’t. But I’m confused as shit.”

Mariah chuckled. “I know, Cee. I promise, it will make sense after I explain. Just wait a few more days for me, okay?”

Ciana nodded. “Okay. You have my word.”

Mariah gathered Ciana up into another great hug. Her scent of jasmine and cedarwood washed over her, as if lifted by a breeze. Something else stirred in her chest, something she’d been ignoring, and continued to ignore.

Too many goodbyes. Now was not the time for any nonexistent revelations.

Mariah pulled back, eyes brimming with tears. “Take care of my kingdom while I’m gone, Ciana.”

“As if she were my own, My Queen,” Ciana answered.

They separated, and with a final glance, Mariah and Andrian strode toward the waiting horses, shoulder to shoulder, looking as if they’d already spent a lifetime walking by each other’s sides. Ciana watched them go, a soft wind lifting her golden curls around her face as she again twisted her hands together.

She’d said her goodbyes. She’d made—and received—her orders. Her best friend would come back to her. And she had the promise of the one person in that palace who loved Mariah more than she did to guarantee that.

But there was still one goodbye she had yet to make. One she didn’t particularly want to do, because she wasn’t sure she knew how.

“Second time we’re leaving you in charge, and I like it even less than last time.”

A familiar voice behind her—a voice belonging to the one she’d been dwelling on—answered all her questions. Ciana froze, then slowly turned, meeting Sebastian’s hazel gaze. He stood a few feet from her, hands crossed behind his back, the picture of the perfect Armature. He must’ve seen something on Ciana’s face because his good-natured smile faltered, and his brows furrowed.

“Not that I don’t think you’ll be wonderful. The leadership suits you, Cee. I just …” His cheeks lightly flushed. “I just don’t like all of us being separated. I need to go with my queen, but I don’t like leaving you here. Without … us.”

“Without us,” Ciana repeated, her voice quiet.

Sebastian nodded, still wearing a confused expression on his handsome face.

“Do you think all the others mind leaving me here?”

His flush grew. “Of—of course. You are a lady of the court. You’re important to Mariah, so you’re important to all of them. All of us.”

Ciana shook her head. “That wasn’t my question, Sebastian.”

Sebastian glanced away, taking a deep, heaving sigh. When he looked back at Ciana, his expression was pained.

“What do you want me to say? That I’m the one who doesn’t like leaving you here? That I can’t stand the thought of leaving you alone in this palace without me?” He choked on a bitter laugh, running a hand through his hair. “What good would that do any of us?”

Ciana wasn’t sure her heart was beating. Her lungs froze in her chest, tightening as if the weight of a thousand bricks had landed there. Her hands had stopped wringing together, now just clasped in front of her, knuckles white.

“What good would it do?” she whispered, taking a step closer to him. “Sebastian … Mariah is the reason I chose this palace as my new home, but you … you are the reason I stayed. You reminded me that no matter what terrible men had done to me, I still had me . That after all they’d taken from me, they could never take that. I still had choices I could make for myself. I could still choose .” Her voice broke at the end, more tears welling in her eyes.

“And, Seb, despite everything we have working against us, despite your bond and my past and the Royals and everything … I would still choose you . Every single time.” She hung her head, staring at the cobblestones beneath her feet. “I just … needed you to know that. Just once.”

Silence passed between them, a stillness shared only in the microcosm that existed in those few feet of the palace courtyard.

It was broken by a shuddering groan, a desperate plea.

“Ciana—”

That was all it took.

Ciana lifted her head, eyes clashing with Sebastian’s before she closed the distance between them.

His arms wrapped around her waist as she threw hers around his neck, crashing her lips to his.

His body tensed in surprise, just for a moment, before relaxing against her. Sebastian was so warm, so familiar, so safe. He tasted of mahogany and parchment, like nights spent wrapped beneath a worn quilt with stacks of books and a raging fire glowing in the hearth.

He felt like home. A home she’d never known but was so desperate to find.

Ciana tangled her fingers in his hair, aching to pull him closer. To remember as much of him as she could, to soak in all he was so no matter what happened, she could never forget. His hands brushed through her curls, fingers digging lightly into her back.

After what felt like forever, she pulled away. They both breathed heavily, his cheeks as flushed as she knew her own to be.

“Ciana,” he whispered, eyes bright, pupils blown wide. He lifted a slightly shaking hand, resting it on her face, pushing back the tangled mass of her hair.

She smiled up at him. “Sebastian.”

He searched her face. “I never … I never knew. That you might …”

“Might what? Want to be with you? I may be damaged, Sebastian, but I’m not broken.”

Sebastian flushed again. “That’s not what I meant.” He opened his mouth, about to say more before a shout shattered the moment.

“Seb! Lover boy! It’s time to go. Get your ass over here.”

Fucking Quentin. If they all made it back, Ciana would rip out his tongue herself.

Sebastian sighed, resting his forehead against hers. “When I’m back, we’ll talk. About … everything. All of this. I promise.”

She nodded against him. With the gentlest of movements, he tipped her chin up just enough to kiss her; one more time, a sweet and delicate touch.

Ciana searched his face when he drew away from her. “Come back to me, okay?”

Sebastian smiled. “And leave this unfinished? There’s not a chance under the moons I’m letting that happen, Goldie.”