Chapter 64

Chapter 64

M ariah hardly felt the scalding water beating a drum against her skin.

She didn’t know how long she’d stood in the shower. She’d walked straight from Ryland’s interrogation to her rooms, Andrian a silent ghost on her heels. The moment she strode through the doors, she’d begun peeling layers of clothing from her skin, desperate to relieve the itching and burning of her rage.

It was mostly a dull flame now, a steady roar at the base of her skull. Ryland’s confessions had reignited it, the beast in her chest clawing at her skin and scraping against her mind.

Mariah didn’t know what was happening to her. It felt like those days before she’d been Chosen, when her magic was stirring. Some other awareness had stirred awake with it, but for so long she’d thought it all the same.

She still thought it was connected to her magic, somehow. Some unintended consequence of carrying the grace of two goddesses in her veins. But it pressed against her control every day, feeding off her fear and her anger, growing more potent with each second she spent dwelling on the terror of her situation.

Of her family’s situation.

Mariah inhaled a quick gulp of air, water streaming down her face. She leaned her forehead against the steam-warmed marble wall and closed her eyes, forcing herself to take deep, measured breaths.

She couldn’t control it, this rage. The more she focused on it, the more it grew, clamoring for more of her attention. She needed to be rescued from it, to be distracted from it. A part of her worried that if she couldn’t claw back to sanity, she would lose herself to this. And if she did … there would be no hope of ever getting her family back.

A blast of chill air hit her back, the steam rushing out as the glass shower door opened and then closed.

She felt him there, behind her, before the water changed. Before a hand brushed down her side, her skin tingling in its wake.

“Talk to me, nio .” Andrian’s words were just loud enough to be heard over the roar of the showerhead, his mouth close to her ear.

She slowly lifted her head from the wall, turning around and leaning her back against the marble. Andrian had one arm braced above her, partially caging her in, but the water still rained in on them from above. It dripped through his hair, droplets catching on his lashes, the crushing blue of his eyes vibrant in the soft allume light.

He was so beautiful; it made her chest hurt. Even that beast calmed itself and curled up as she admired him, sinking into the feeling of his finger as it traced idle circles on her hip. She scanned his face, the strong shape of his jaw, the barely there stubble shading it. Down the column of his neck, across his broad shoulders, her gaze resting on the Mark on his chest.

The roaring dragon, with the jagged scar running down its center. It was so much more brutal than the bonded Marks of her other Armature, but for him … it fit.

Together, they were not clean or simple or ordinary.

They were jagged and messy, but somehow, each other’s broken pieces fit together perfectly.

Apart, they were shattered.

Together, they were forged.

Mariah skimmed her fingers across his scar. Andrian tensed, the press of his hands on her hip gripping her just a little bit tighter.

“A long time ago,” Mariah started, still tracing circles around his Mark, “I asked for a distraction, and you promised me that was all you would ever be.” She stopped, lifting her gaze to his. His eyes glowed beneath a furrowed brow. “Do you remember that?”

He nodded, a brief movement that sent more water dripping across his face. “That failed promise is one I’ll never forget.”

She smiled at that—a sad, slow smile. “Do you know why I asked it? I had just been attacked by an Uroboros. A demon that shouldn’t even exist, sent by a lord I was expected to rule beside. And yet … all I wanted was a distraction. From you . Do you know why?”

He blinked. “I might guess, but I’d prefer it if you tell me.”

She sighed. “I’ve always sought things that could help me … forget. Things that got me out of my head, just long enough to ignore the fact that this world would always force me into some role I had no desire to play. At first, it was horses. Then, it was training. And then, when I reached early adulthood … it was sex.” She didn’t shy away from his stare. She had nothing to hide—not from him.

Mariah suspected he already knew all this, anyways.

“After the Uroboros, I needed a reminder that I could feel something again. It wasn’t really a distraction—not in the sense some might think. I just needed something to remind me that I was here , that I was alive.”

Andrian was still for a moment before he nodded. “And now?”

Mariah snaked her hand around his neck before sinking it into his hair. It was still short on the sides, but she was glad he’d let her leave some of the length on the top. The strands were like black silk, even beneath the water. With a gentle tug, she pulled his head down so his forehead rested against hers.

“I feel like I’m losing myself, Andrian. I’m just so fucking angry . Delaynie just lost her father, and I could barely find it in myself to show her any sympathy. I have so much rage and fear that I can feel myself losing the ability to … well, feel . It’s numbing me, drowning me out from me .”

Andrian squeezed her hip. He dropped the hand above her head, sinking it into the hair at the base of her scalp. He pulled back from her, just a touch, so he could meet her gaze.

“So, what is it, nio ? Do you want me to help you feel again? To remind you that you are Mariah Salis, Queen of Onita, daughter of a soldier and a healer?” His grip in her hair tightened, eyes dropping to her lips.

“To remind you that you are my moon, and that no matter what they take from you, they can never take your strength?” His murmur was so low, she was shocked she could hear it.

But even without words, the feelings pulsing down their bond … she would’ve known what he was saying, even if all her senses were stolen from her.

“Yes, Andrian,” she murmured. “Gods, yes. Remind me.” Her breath hitched. “ Distract me.”

Those final words snapped something between them, a tether of energy unleashed.

With a growl, he claimed her mouth, her back flattening against the wall as he crowded against her. He still held her head, but the hand at her hip had gripped her thigh, hitching it around his waist.

Her entire body was set ablaze, but not with the flames of rage.

Currents of energy buzzed along her skin, and she gasped for breath when his tongue met hers and his teeth nipped her lips. Her hands sank deeper into his hair, pulling him so close that she could no longer tell where she stopped and he began. Heat pooled in her core as his cock pressed against her stomach, hard and ready.

Something soft and familiar slid across her arms. Andrian drew back, leaving her panting and desperate. Her eyes flew open, meeting his gaze, a wicked grin spread across his face. His shadows wound around her arms, the water passing through them harmlessly. He leaned back in, hot breath tickling her ear, sending a shiver down her spine and a fresh wave of heat to her belly.

“Trust me, nio . I hope I’ve earned it.” His shadows tightened around her arms and wrists, and before she could resist, they yanked her hands out of his hair, pulling them up and securing them above her head.

Her chest heaved, but she didn’t speak. Not as he leaned in, pressing a painfully gentle kiss to her lips, then to her jaw, then to the hollow of her throat.

His lips left a trail of flickering, burning flames down her body. He dropped to one knee, lifting her left leg over his shoulder before planting a kiss to the sensitive skin on the inside of her thigh, followed by a nip that had her hissing and jolting against her bindings.

“Stop playing.” Her voice was husky and low.

Andrian smirked at her. “Oh, princess. You should know by now. The playing is my favorite part.”

She inhaled sharply, straining against the bindings. His grip around her hips tightened, and his eyes darkened as shadows flooded his gaze.

“Listen to me, my queen. I am going to make you come until the only thing you know is how much I worship you, and the only thing you can think is how good I make you feel. I won’t just distract you from your rage; I will replace it.”

Any response she had died in her throat as he brought his mouth to her core, water falling like stars around them.

Sparks danced across her skin. A groan slipped past her teeth. He devoured her, consuming like a man starved, teeth nipping and biting at her clit as his tongue greedily drank from her. She struggled desperately against her bindings, fighting to sink her hands into his hair, to push him deeper, to chase a release that could wash away the weight on her soul.

Instead of letting her free, though, he only chuckled, the rumble of his breath jolting against her sensitive flesh.

“Give me your control, nio . Stop fighting. Surrender to me.”

Mariah didn’t want to. Losing control, with her frayed emotions … Her wounded soul bellowed in agony.

But she’d told him she would trust him. And the more she struggled, the more he slowed, refusing to give her what she sought.

Mariah forced her body to still. She gripped one bound wrist with the other hand, squeezing tight to keep from struggling. Forcing a breath, she leaned her head back against the wall, feeling every single drop of water bead down her too sensitive skin.

“Good girl,” Andrian murmured against her. She sucked in another breath at the praise, at the feel of his words against her core, heat rushing through every inch of her skin. A whine peeled out of her, unbidden and desperate.

He chuckled again and resumed his worship. But this time, he was just as frantic and gave her exactly what she chased.

Mariah shot up, then came crashing down, her shattering release wracking through her as she writhed against the bindings. Unintelligible words spilled from her throat, her entire body shaking when he didn’t stop until the final waves of her orgasm had washed away.

He pressed a single kiss to the soft skin of her thigh before slowly rising, moving up her body with predatory purpose. Her head was still thrown back against the marble, chest heaving with her gasping breath.

“ Goddess ,” she groaned as his mouth fell to her shoulder, then her neck, making his way to the hollow of her ear.

He chuckled again, breath tickling against her wet hair. “No, nio . I’m not sure who you pray to, but as far as I’m concerned, the only goddess here is you.”

She dropped her head and opened her eyes, lids heavy with lust. “If I’m your goddess,” she crooned, “does that make you my god?”

He pulled back from her, just a hair’s breadth, just enough to meet her gaze. A slow, wild smirk pulled across his lips.

“Only when you scream my name.”

She clamped down on the whimper that tried to claw from her chest. “Maybe you should stop talking, then.”

His eyes flashed with challenge just before he slammed his lips to hers. She opened beneath him, letting him sweep in and claim her.

As if there were any part of her left for him to claim.

The bindings around her wrists loosened, and she tugged her hands free to grip his shoulders, nails digging into his skin. Blood rushed back into her fingertips, the sensation setting her entire body ablaze. His shadows curled around her legs, wrapping around her thighs, before his hands gripped her and lifted her farther up the wall.

Her legs settled around his hips, pinning his cock between them, his hard length gliding across her arousal. His shadows continued to twist around her legs before tightening around her left, hoisting her leg higher, opening her further to him. His hand rested against the inside of her leg, thumb dangerously close to her center, just as he broke their kiss to burrow his face into her neck as she gasped for air.

“The shadows are hardly fair,” Mariah whimpered, a hand sinking into his hair and pulling as her nails dug into his shoulder.

Andrian didn’t answer her. Only nipped at her ear, down her neck, and with a growl, lined himself up. He sank into her, slow and deep until he was buried to the hilt. Another groan escaped her throat as she was stretched and filled, and he landed another biting kiss on her neck, right over the sound.

“Fucking made for me, nio . Every single time.” He pulled out, just halfway, before thrusting back in, her body shoving up the wall. “You take me so fucking well.”

“ Gods ,” she whispered, her mind lost to a haze of lust and love and desire.

“That’s right.” Another thrust. “I am your god.” Thrust. “But you are my goddess.”

Those were the last words they traded before they were swept away in each other. The water rained around them, each droplet like lightning on her skin. Mariah lost herself to him, to the feeling of them together, to the way their bond shimmered and sang and burned, light and shadows dancing together in a place that transcended time.

Shadows snaked between them, sliding to where they were joined. Mariah whined when they touched her clit, brushing in time with the rhythm of his thrusts. Andrian’s hand slid up her back and into her hair, cradling her head as he whispered into her ear.

“I love you, Mariah. Until the moons fall from the sky.” Her body tightened, her world narrowing to the sound of his voice, the rough grip of his hand, the way he moved inside her. “Come for me, nio . Let go.”

Her release shattered through her as she cried out, clawing for him as if she could meld him to her forever. He came with her as she shuddered apart, her name on his lips like a prayer, a call for salvation.

They collapsed against each other beneath the falling water, panting and shaking in each other’s arms. His shadows loosened around her legs, vanishing back beneath his skin. She was glowing faintly, the light in her veins dancing around them.

It took several long moments for their breathing to slow, for their hearts to stop racing. Andrian pulled away from her just enough to meet her gaze. His usual mask was gone, and he looked at her with that raw openness she’d seen only a handful of times. It was an openness he reserved only for her, a blend of love and wonder and awe and just the smallest hint of sadness.

Pressing a heartbreakingly gentle kiss to her forehead, he slipped himself out of her. She gasped at the sudden loss but found herself scooped into his arms, legs still wrapped around his torso as he held her to him with an arm around her back. He turned off the shower before pushing through the glass doors. Snagging two plush white towels hanging on a rack, he set her down gently on her feet, keeping a steadying hand around her.

Mariah let him wrap her in the towel, groaning at the softness of the cotton against her still-sensitive skin. Her body felt heavy, and her mind felt calm, the magic bridging their souls still wrapped tight around her and holding the beast of her rage at bay.

Andrian led her to the bed and together they sank into the down comforter, the sound of the night breeze outside brushing in through the open window. They both succumbed to sleep, their momentary comfort fighting off the dread they harbored deep beneath their current happiness.

Dread that tonight, this feeling of contentedness and bliss, might be the last one they ever have.