Chapter 16

Tyler

I love the fact we're doing this and going against the grain. Opting to spend the rest of tonight together instead of partying over the Stanley Cup.

I'm still on a high and feeling so fucking proud of myself, and of the team, that I would probably agree to anything right now. But deep down, she's the one I want to spend the last few hours of tonight with.

Now here she is, sexy as sin, joking about wearing another guy's number.

Not gonna fucking happen. Not on my watch.

"If it weren't mine, whose number would it be?" I ask her, flipping a piece of her long, dark hair over her shoulder. I love brushing my fingers against her, even if I only get a second's contact. I want so much more, but I meant what I said — I'm willing to hold out until she's ready. I respect that about her if it's what she wants.

She laughs, shaking her head. "Nobody else's, I'm just teasing."

"Phew for that." I sigh. "At least I don't have to go beating anyone up tonight."

She shakes her head. "You wouldn't do that, off the ice at least."

"You sure?" I give her a lopsided grin.

"You're not the real bad boy they make you out to be, you know."

"You clearly haven't seen some of my past footage," I muse. "Or my tattoos."

Her eyes grow. "I have seen some of them in those sexy ad campaigns…" she trails off. "On your arms and chest."

"That's not the only place I have them, baby."

She glances at me in the darkness, biting her lip. "Maybe you are the Seattle Hawks bad boy after all?"

"I would never do anything bad to you."

She lets out a breath. And again, I wonder what that's all about and what is going on in that pretty head of hers.

"What is it?" I ask when she's quiet.

"Just thinking about how I haven't had the best run of relationships," she says, keeping her eyes on the road. "They've been few and far between."

"How long has it been since you were dating anyone?" I ask.

"A few years since there was anyone serious," she says.

My eyes are wide now. Wow. "Really?"

"Yeah. My last serious relationship was back in college. Then I threw myself into working for the Hawks and proving myself as an undergrad fresh out of college. I wanted to make it on my own merits, not just because of my dad."

"I can totally understand that."

"Then when I dated here and there after that, things never really went anywhere. I started to just get more and more career focused, and less social, I guess. I didn't mean it to happen that way, but I lost hope of finding someone."

"There's a lot of douchebags out there," I say.

"That, and I have a few trust issues," she sighs.

I glance at her as she drives. "Trust issues?"

"Do you really wanna hear this?"

"Of course I do. I wanna know all the things about you, Cindy. We both have a past before we met."

"That's true," she says. "But this isn't your average story. And I've never really told it to anyone other than my best friends."

"Well, you can tell me," I say. "If you want to."

I can tell she's thinking about it from the way she stares ahead and her lips press together. I don't want to push her, but I want to know as much as I can.

The good. The bad. The ugly. She's safe with me. I want her to know that.

"I want to, Tyler. It's just a lot. There's stuff to do with my upbringing, and some of what happened in senior year still upsets me."

"I only ever want you to talk about what you feel comfortable with," I say. "And anything you say is between us."

"I appreciate that, Ty."

She still hesitates, so I keep talking, hoping if I share something, she might feel more comfortable doing the same.

"You've probably noticed I'm not really that guy everyone says I am. I was with my ex for a year. But in the end I didn't feel the connection with her, and she didn't like me being away so much. That caused a lot of problems." I glance at her. "I'm not saying I'm a saint by any means. Girls have come and go over the years, but it's not like that with you. I know you're different from girls I've known, in a good way, and I like it."

She glances at me and then back at the road.

Of course, I also want to know which motherfuckers hurt her. Hopefully, we'll get to that.

"You don't have to be a saint," she says. "And I appreciate you telling me that."

"I don't want to keep anything from you. I want you to know I'm not just in this for a good time."

"Yeah, you may have noticed I don't exactly do the casual thing."

"That doesn't phase me one bit. I've been there and done that and I'm sorry for how blunt that sounds. I thought things were real between me and my ex, but I realized we weren't in love. And just because I didn't make that commitment to her, doesn't mean I'm not capable of that with someone else."

"When you find the right one, it'll just happen, kind of thing?"

"Yeah, I believe it's something like that. Stacey wanted to move in and take things to the next level, but I wasn't feeling the same because she wanted all of my time. It just wasn't possible when I travel so much. She'd make me feel bad for being away, even though it's part of my job. There's nothing I can do about that while I'm still playing."

"That would be hard trying to have a relationship when the other person wants you there all the time," she agrees. "I know the ins and outs of how things work with hockey. I guess it's a different story sometimes living it."

"Totally."

"Well, my thing blows the whole noncommittal thing out of the window," she says.

I listen intently, not wanting to interrupt while she wants to talk about it. And I need to get to the bottom of it. "It stemmed from my childhood sweetheart, Damon."

I'm not sure if it's me or if I noticed a shudder run through her body when she says his name.

"Our parents were friends and we grew up together. We went to the same church and formed a romantic relationship in high school. Our parents were all intent on us getting together after school and we had plans to get married after college. That was until one day when my sister Caitlin and I were dropping off Pastor Dan's birthday cake and I caught Damon having sex with Jessica Plath in the utility room." Her voice shakes as she's speaking. Understandably, it's still a very upsetting thing for her. I hazard a guess that it was probably around ten years ago.

"Cindy, I'm so sorry."

She shrugs ruefully. "Yeah, they were doing it right in front of my eyes. I couldn't believe it. Then he tried to say it wasn't what it looked like."

"That's terrible," I say. "Did your parents find out?"

"Yeah, both of our parents did. I was sick of covering for him and Jessica, and I couldn't hide how upset I was. Dad overheard me and Damon arguing about it, then the whole thing unraveled."

"Fuck, I would hate to have been in his shoes when that happened."

"Yeah, Dad called a meeting at our house where his parents came over. He tried to grovel back, of course. Then later, when I wouldn't take him back, he started dating Jessica. They've been on and off since that day."

I stare at her, feeling shocked by her confession, but glad she told me. "I can't even imagine what that must have been like from a young age, Cind."

"We were best friends," she sniffs. "It was so unjustified. He never said anything to me about being so desperate to go against the church and have sex. We were saving ourselves for marriage, for heaven's sakes. He just didn't want to wait. Or maybe he just wanted his cake and eat it too."

"He should have told you."

"That was the part that got to me the most. The lies and going behind my back. So I guess from that experience I haven't had a good run trusting people. I mean, you just never know."

"Well, I can honestly say I've never cheated on a partner," I say. "Ever."

"That's good to know," she says, with a sense of relief in her voice as she sighs ever so lightly.

"I could never do something like that, and to my high school sweetheart!"

"Yeah, it was bad for a long time," she sighs. "I was so glad when Dad stuck up for me, and then a few months later he announced we were moving for his new job. I couldn't wait to get away. My mom, however, did nothing but make excuses for Damon and sided with his mom. It made me feel so bad."

"So she wanted you to forgive him?"

"Yeah, she kept trying to make me believe it was an accident, a mistake. Like he didn't just knowingly have sex with her on his own accord. The devil got to him and all of that."

"Holy shit." I can see where the conflict stems from with her and her mom not being on good terms. I can't even imagine my mom doing something like that. "She never stuck up for you, Cindy?"

Cindy shakes her head. "No," she says sadly. "She never did. We fought about it just the other day, actually. That's one topic she loves to bring up. She still thinks we were meant to be and keeps in constant touch with Damon's mom."

"That's fucked up," I say. Knowing I probably shouldn't be dropping the F bomb every second, but that's all I can use to describe it. "So he gets to have his fun with someone else and break your heart in the process, and you get to just take him back because they all want you to?"

"It went a lot like that."

"I'm glad you stuck to your guns. It would have taken a lot of strength to kick him to the curb and go against your mom."

"It was awful. She's always been a little on the cold side growing up, but I didn't think she was capable of sticking up for someone who cheated on me and broke my heart."

"I can totally understand why things are strained with her. Thank goodness for your dad in all of this."

"He's been my rock," she says as we pull up out front of her apartment. The drive distracted me most of the way. "Honestly, I would've thought I was going insane without him."

"I'm glad you've got a dad like that. He's a good man," I say, reaching over to squeeze her hand as she shuts off the engine. I don't let go, linking her fingers with mine. "I'm sorry you went through that so young, baby. People can be so shitty it's unfathomable. I can understand if it's put you off ever wanting to even put yourself out there again."

"Thanks, Ty. It has been difficult. As much as I try not to drag it around through my adult life anymore, it hurt. The lying was worse than the act of what he did, though that comes a close second."

"I don't know why people just don't say what they want or don't want anymore. I've never understood that. Even if that hurts the other person, if you're having doubts, it would save the lying and cheating thing before it began."

"I agree," she says. "It made me feel very inadequate, too."

I stare at her, bringing out clasped hands up to my lips, kissing her on the back of the hand. "You're not inadequate, Cind. You could never be. He wasn't truthful, that's what it is. Sounds like he wanted to have his fun, then marry the girl he grew up with after she saved herself for him."

"That's very much what it was like. And I worry even now," she says. "Because I'm not experienced, Tyler. It's embarrassing to tell you that, but it's true."

"Nothing to be embarrassed about," I tell her. "I mean it Cindy. You've had me gaga for weeks, just being yourself. It doesn't phase me by what you've said, not one bit."

"I guess it is a little intimidating, given who you are," she says.

"I'm just the guy who defends the puck and has a sore back most of the time."

"You're more than that," she whispers. "And I'm sorry for rabbiting on this entire ride home. We should be celebrating your win."

I shake my head. "You weren't rabbiting on. And being here with you like this, it's exactly the kind of celebrating I want to do."

She smiles at me in the darkness and leans towards me. I dip my head as my lips find hers. It's like they're on autopilot, even though I've only kissed her twice.

Again, there's another world waiting there with her mouth. She's exquisite. Her lips are soft, full and doing very bad things to me.

I pull back to look at her, trying to collect myself. She leans back to peck me.

"We should go inside," she says.

"Lead the way."

Of course I have been here once before when I threw stones up at her window after the win in New York. But going inside her apartment is something else altogether.

"I think Henry likes you," she says as we walk to the front. I can hear him barking already.

"The feeling is mutual."

As soon as she unlocks the door, Henry is at her feet, wagging his tail and doing a happy dance. She laughs, bending down to give him a scruff.

"Mommy's home," she says, scooping him up under arm as he looks at me curiously and I lean in to give him a pat. He licks me on the knuckles and laps up our attention as we step into her hallway.

"Cute place," I say, as we walk up to the kitchen. She obviously left some lights on for Henry earlier, which makes me smile.

"Thanks. It's a great neighborhood and I'm lucky to have a backyard for Henry."

She puts him down and he immediately runs over to me, so I kneel to give him a pat while she puts her purse down and slides her jacket off her shoulders, hanging it over one of the bar stools at the kitchen bench.

It's quite an open space with dark floors and light beige colored walls. It's neat and feels pretty new.

"When I bought it, they had remodeled the place," she says. "They'd put in new appliances and repainted the whole house."

"It's a great space, Cind."

The open plan kitchen leads to the living area next to it, which has a large dark gray sectional couch and a flat screen TV. Her furniture is mostly whites and grays.

"Thanks. I've tried to make it my own."

"You even leave the TV on for Henry," I chuckle, nodding over to the flat screen which has the sports channel playing on low.

"He likes some background noise," she explains.

"You're such a cool boy, aren't you, Henry?" I ruffle him around the ears and stand up.

"I think I have some wine in the fridge if you'd like one?"

"Sounds good."

"Make yourself at home," she says. "You can flick channels if you want to."

"And upset Henry's viewing pleasure?" I chuckle. "I'm not sure I wanna be responsible for that."

"He'll live, don't worry."

I immediately like being in her space. It might be new and sophisticated, but she has little reflections of her around the place, which makes it homely. There's fresh flowers in a vase on the counter and a few cute nicknacks around, but all in all she's quite minimal. I smile at the picture on the side table in the lounge of her with her sister. They look so much alike. And one of her dad with Angelique. I don't see any photos of her mother. It doesn't reflect well on her mother with the whole ex-debacle and what she told me about senior year.

I instantly felt bad for her. Anyone can see Cindy is a good person and she didn't deserve that. For her mom to discredit her feelings like that is unfathomable. They still seem to be fighting about it to this day.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" She asks as she grabs two wine glasses and I stand halfway between the kitchen and the living area.

"Yeah, sounds good," I say. Walking over to the lounge, shrugging out of my jacket and picking up the remote. "Mind if I flick to the movie channel, Henry?" He's taken to following me, which is totally adorable.

I hear Cindy chuckle from the kitchen. "I keep telling Henry I'm the boss around here, but he doesn't seem to listen."

"He seems pretty content to me." Since he just jumped up onto the long part of her sectional, the one with the chaise lounge on the end, does a little circle and sits in a little ball.

She walks into the lounge a few moments later with our wine and sets them down on the glass coffee table while I peruse the movie section.

"What do you feel like?" I ask her.

"Anything, just nothing scary. I don't like horror movies."

I chuckle. I couldn't exactly see her watching anything scary or too violent. A romantic comedy might be a little cliche, but I decide Sweet Home Alabama might be a bit more up her alley.

"Ooh, I like this movie." She laughs when it starts playing.

"You're lucky I didn't put on Rocky," I say, following her lead and taking a seat on the couch.

"I like the Rocky movies," she laughs with a shrug.

"Damn, if only I'd known. We'll have to do a Rocky marathon some day."

"Now that sounds good."

We both have a sip of wine and settle back to watch. I'm still pretty hyped from tonight, but I meant what I said when I told her there was nowhere else I want to be.

"I still can't believe tonight," she says as she curls her legs up under her. "It really was amazing, Ty."

I glance at her. My arm is around the back of the chair and I'm not touching her, but I'd like to be. "It was the best night of my life," I say. "It's gonna take some time for it to die down."

She reaches over to me again. I like the fact she's freely touching me now and not being too reserved. "You were very sweet listening to all my troubles in the car."

"It's nothing," I say. "I'm just glad you shared it with me. It can't have been easy what you went through. And for the record, the guy is a jerk."

I want to know about the college thing I overheard too, but I'll bide my time a little longer. I don't know if we're at that point yet.

"And it really doesn't phase you?" she says, her face inches from mine. She doesn't look at all interested in the movie, and neither am I. I put it on for her, not me.

"Which part?" I mumble as my head tips to hers.

"The fact I'm not good at this," she whispers as our lips meet.

I kiss her soft and slow. A gorgeous, sexy murmur escapes her throat.

"Oh, you're good at it, baby."

"I like it when you call me that."

"Baby?"

"Yeah." She bites her lip as I glance at it hungrily.

"You're already doing all kinds of things to me just the way you are," I say. "You better believe that."

She giggles faintly. "What things?"

"Things your dad wouldn't approve of."

"Well, Dad's not here," she says, as our kisses come a little faster and more urgent.

Fuck, she's turning me on.

"You know, I'm trying to be good around you," I murmur, pulling away to breathe her in and kiss her neck. She's making it really difficult when she pushes her body towards me.

"Bad boy Tyler Peterson is trying to be good?"

I can't hide my smile as I watch her. She's so fucking perfect. I love the way her eyes dance with amusement and her whole face lights up when she smiles. And I'm the one putting the smile there. That feels good in itself.

"Trying being the operative word," I say. Wondering how long I can resist her. She has to make the moves. I want her to.

But it has to come from her.