33. Erin

Chapter thirty-three

Erin

Shane is going to stroke my hair forever because I am not moving. Ever. His fingers massage my scalp, and I moan and try to ignore the growing full-body tingles. This is the life.

Shane’s sitting on the couch, and I’m laying with my head in his lap, trying really hard not to purr with real pleasure.

“You’re really good at this,” I say to Shane.

“I have a niece who used to get growing pains.”

“Oh, where are they? You never mentioned them.”

“They just moved far away. You’ll see them sooner or later. But I used to stroke Rebecca’s hair like this until the pain would allow her to sleep.”

I sigh. Shane is a man of mystery and so many secrets, it’s becoming one of my favourite things in the world, to get him to open up and spill the beans.

Locke storms past, I focus on him and the throb of omega displeasure in the air.

“I’m not doing it!”

“I’m not asking you to do. I’m suggesting you consider setting the room aside for your music,” Finn snaps hotly.

“I’m not doing music ever again!” Locke snarls rebelliously. “I quit. I retired. It’s done. It’s over.”

“Yeah, okay. That’s like me saying I’m going to walk away from Destiny’s.”

“It’s not the same!”

I try to sit up, but Shane threads his fingers through my hair and holds me in place.

“It’s similar enough.”

“Your resort didn’t hurt you,” Locke shouts.

Finn goes quiet. “My parents built that place, they planted trees, they created memories, and planned a future, and they died when I was fifteen years old. Everything about Destiny’s hurts. And it has been a prison at times and a solace. Music didn’t hurt you, Locke. People did.”

Locke stares blankly at Finn, and then the anger just seeps out of him.

“I’m not ready.”

“Then you wait until you are. But you have a space for your guitar, waiting, when you wake one day and decide today is the day.”

There’s a deep tense silence, and then Locke sighs. “Can you show me the room you picked out?”

Finn smiles, it’s radiant and so full of devotion. They leave the room, unaware we were even sitting there watching.

“That was fascinating.”

“Wasn’t it just?” Shane murmurs.

As the day drifts on, Bray comes and joins us. He worms his way under my body and lays against Shane, falling asleep within minutes.

Shane puts a movie on, and Finn brings in snacks and drinks. Locke and Finn curl up in front of us on the floor. The fire is on and roaring, the wind outside is howling.

The movie ends, and another begins, but it could be a blank screen for all I care. I’ve never done this before. Never been this still. I’ve never found or had such peace.

Bray shifts, snuggling behind me, spooning me, one heavy arm thrown over my waist. I wonder how long it’s been since he slept this deeply or well.

Shane is now alternating between stroking my hair and stroking his hair.

Finn and Locke chat and murmur to each other, but I’m too drowsy to pay much attention.

“I’ve never done this before.”

“What? Watched movies?” Shane asks.

“Watched movies, laid with my head in someone’s lap, and just been quiet.”

“How are you enjoying it?” Shane asks.

“I think perhaps it’s one of my favourite things.”

“I’ve watched a lot of movies alone, but I’ve never done it with someone I cared about. It always seemed so intimate. I made excuses not to,” Shane says.

“I never had anyone. Don’t have a TV, either. I’m too busy fixing engines,” Bray murmurs.

“People don’t stay at Destiny’s to hang out with me,” Finn says.

Locke sighs. “I’ve done it lots.”

I tense. “You have?”

“Yeah, heaps and heaps. But that’s what happens when your mother dumps you at your cousin’s house and goes off for weeks on end. Ryn, Lia, Bethany, Raider, and I watched so many movies. Kelly was always around but doing other things. I only do it when I visit them. It’s nice to be able to do it with you guys.”

We continue talking and chatting. At some point, Finn and Locke end up slow dancing. Looking at them together, I wonder who is healing who.

They are healing parts of me I didn’t know were broken. Apparently, I’ve been lonely and depressed. I’ve been sad.

Shane shifts, and I sit up, laughing when Bray grabs me and pulls me back down onto his chest.

“Stay here. You’re my cuddle bunny.”

I roll my eyes and try to fight my way free. Only to be stopped when Locke steps in front of me. He’s just standing there, staring at me.

“Dance with me?”

How can I say no?

He pulls me into his arms and starts slowly revolving on the spot while the others watch on.

“This place is incredible,” Locke whispers, his cheek pressed to mine.

“Almost like home?” I murmur back.

Locke stumbles a step. “I’ve never had one of those.”

My heart clenches. “You’ll always have a home here, Locke. Wherever I’m staying will always be a safe place for you.”

Locke draws me closer. “Erin.” There is so much despair in his voice, so much pain.

“Have faith, Locke. Just live here, in this moment, with us. We’re all doing what we can to learn how to survive this journey together. Don’t think about tomorrow, not yet. Just dance with me. Feel me here with you. Because I have never felt this way before, and I never want to lose a moment of this night.”

Locke sighs and presses a kiss to the corner of my mouth. I turn into him and our lips cling together.

“I know you bonded me. I felt it when I came out of the heat. Erin, I could feel you inside me.”

“Are you upset?”

“Never. You’re everything to me,” Locke whispers and buries his face in my neck, while his hands roam up and down my back.

This entire night is magic.

But then Shane turns off the lights, and I look up out of the skylight at the stars.

“Dancing under the stars with only the candlelight to shine our way,” Locke sings in my ear.

“Don’t ask me to sing back. I sound like a dying cat.”

Locke explodes with laughter.

I grin back at him, watching his mirth. “I’m serious. This is a dangerous situation. I will kill music for you.”

“Yeah, I’m with her,” Shane grumbles. “I write, I don’t sing.”

“Shit out of luck with us. I’ve heard Finn sing,” Bray says lazily and snuggles deeper into Shane’s lap, while Finn strokes the back of his thighs.

“All right, get up!” Shane says, and smacks Bray’s ass hard enough to startle me.

“Why?”

“I want to show you guys something.”

Bray is yawning and grumbling, but it cuts off when we get outside. Shane leads us out from under the porch and then unfolds a blanket that I didn’t see he even had.

“Lay down.”

I glance at him and then lie down. A few seconds later, the others join me until we’re all side by side, lying on our backs.

The stars shine brighter in the dark. The sound of the forest is deafening. But I can’t look away.

“This is where I come when things get hard,” Shane says, and his hand finds mine. I reach out and thread my fingers through Locke’s.

“It makes all the problems that I have seem so insignificant. We’re all under the stars, all of us. Small, busy, alphas, betas, or omegas. And somewhere out there, whether they are our scent matches or not, someone, maybe a person we don’t even know, is thinking about us, loving us.”

I grip his hand harder. “Is that from one of your books?”

“No,” Shane says quietly. “My mother used to say it to me when I was sad.”

“Who would you come out under the stars to love?” I ask him.

“I’d think about my sister, my parents, the people in town. But most of the time, I thought about Bray. And you, Finn. I’d dream about an omega that I never knew existed, and sometimes, a woman who was as strong as my mother. As kind as my father. Who had the heart of a tiger and the soul of a warrior. A woman who was fire and beauty, who would look at me and see my soul.”

“Let me know when she appears. I’ll get rid of her,” I tease.

Shane snorts and turns his face to me. “I dreamed about you guys under the stars. I loved you all for so long.”

“Write that in your next book,” Bray says.

“Bray!” Finn growls. “We love you, too, Shane.”

Locke sighs. “I dreamed of you, too. I dreamed of you even when I hadn’t seen stars in years. In the dark, I dreamed, and I wrote songs for you.”

“It’s not dark anymore, Locke. The world is awash with light, and we won’t let it go out for you.”

“What she said,” Bray agrees.

We fall silent, into our own thoughts, but together until it gets too cold. The night drags on, and I fall more in love with each passing minute. Movies and popcorn and doing nothing but existing.

I’ve never had this before, but I’d go to war to keep it.

Briefly, I hear the question, but it’s muted, faint. What are you prepared to do, Erin? How far are you prepared to go?