1. ~Killian~

1

~Killian~

Something was wrong.

Over forty-five minutes had gone by following Jonah’s call and I hadn’t heard another word since.

Worse than that, all three of my check-in texts hadn’t been responded to.

Asher always responded. He was intense about checking in.

Especially with this, it was completely unbelievable that he wouldn’t have reached out to double check everything was okay with me and Olivia, that we were secure at the safehouse.

The only explanations were that they’d run into more trouble on the drive away from Strenwell, and that they were even possibly hurt—or worse.

I cursed under my breath as I continued pacing up and down

“You need to take a beat,” Olivia said, coming back into the living room carrying two mugs of coffee.

I watched her put them down on the worn wooden coffee table that had so many scratches etched into it. The two ratty beige couches and armchairs were in a similar state. The whole safehouse was, everything second—or third—hand. It was furnished sparsely and as cheaply as possible, everything non-descript, and as ordinary as possible, basic. Decking out the place as luxuriously as Asher usually went for as a non-negotiable thing would’ve drawn unwanted attention, especially when it came to the massive withdrawals it would’ve needed from our accounts or trust funds. Anything big was flagged by our fathers, another means of their control. Purchasing the actual house had been complicated enough to avoid their detection, something Asher had dealt with. The king of subterfuge right there.

“You haven’t stopped moving for a single second. It’s going to take its toll,” Olivia called again. “At least change out of those waterlogged and caked-in-dirt clothes. There are closets full of clothing in this place.”

I swung my head at her, taking in her patted dry hair, her now dressed in a fresh pair of tactical pants, a bulletproof vest, and a tactical jacket. Her former clothes she’d rolled up tightly in that bag of hers.

She drew her gun from a right hip holster, then reached into her bag and pulled out a metal box. She placed them down on the table, then held her hand out my way. “Give me your gun.”

“What?”

“It got waterlogged too. Let me see to it, alongside mine.”

She was trying to distract me.

She continued holding her hand out and staring expectantly.

I grunted and pulled my gun from its holster. I dislodged the clip and pocketed it, then handed it to her.

The corner of her mouth turned up. “If I was planning to shoot you, Killian, I’d use my own gun, which hasn’t left my side for the entire time you and I have been in close proximity.”

“It’s just an automatic precaution,” I told her.

She merely nodded, then started cleaning both our guns, stopping every now and then to take sips from her coffee.

“How are you so calm?” I asked, finally, continuing to pace and alternating between that and peering through the thick blackout curtains covering the front living room windows. No sign of any vehicles coming down the long dirt driveway. “I explained to you how out of sorts it is for my texts to go unanswered. I didn’t just send them to Jonah, I sent them to Asher and Aurora too, and there’s been absolutely no response from any of them. Even my calls have gone unanswered. Something must have happened. Asher would never leave it this long to check in. Especially when it comes to this, the intel I have on me now—and you being here too.”

“It’s highly likely that they have run into some trouble, or an obstacle—possibly both. But you have your orders and those are to stay put here with me. You deviate from them and it will only serve to worsen the situation. The intel is currently secure. Your prime asset—me—is secure. You’ve done your part.”

“Then I need to do more. If they’re out there hurt or—”

“Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Imagine worst-case scenarios. It won’t help anything and it’ll just serve to antagonize an already stressful situation.”

“We need to do something. You’re ex-military, black ops. You can track them down a whole lot faster than I’d be able to.”

“It’s still torrential rain out there. Asher was taking a roundabout route out of there, not a straight-run to this location. That puts them anywhere.”

“But you could still do it? Still locate them?”

“Yes, but the risks are too high. You achieved what you set out to with this mission. We leave this location right now and all of that could become compromised. Don’t let emotion overrule you. Maintaining rational thought is key.”

“We’re not like the Head Infidels. Jonah, Asher, and I are brothers. We’re close. We look out for each other, we’re a unit. And Aurora is… she’s a part of that now. We’re not what you’re used to dealing with—those stone-cold motherfuckers.”

“I’ve already picked up on that.” She smiled kindly, then gestured at the armchair adjacent to the couch she was sitting on. “Come sit and talk to me. Distraction is key when things like this are in play, when we’re playing the waiting game. It helps, trust me.”

I came to a halt, then strode over to the armchair and slumped down.

“Talk about what?” I asked, with an edge, unable to check it in my current worried state.

She looked out at me from cleaning our guns. “When you entered that house, you didn’t go upstairs.”

I frowned. “Why would I? It didn’t need to be cleared. We knew it was empty—aside from you.”

“You didn’t even do that with the first floor either. You just followed a straight path to the living room, using that battery-powered lamp like a guiding light through the rest.”

“I don’t know what you’re—”

“You were afraid of what you might see.” She eyed me steadily. “Evidence of that dollhouse from back in the day when it was in operation. What those women and men were subjected to, evidence of the squalor they lived in. And, most of all, any similarities it might have had to your mother’s current situation.”

I jolted at her analysis.

Before I could formulate a response, or even attempt a denial, or tell her to shut the fuck up and shut this conversational path down, she told me, “I spent time with her. Your father brought her over to the Monroe Estate several times when I was there with him. I got to know her well. We were friends.”

“Friends?”

“That’s right.”

“So, she knew who you really were, that you were really there undercover?”

“No. That couldn’t be disclosed to anyone.”

“Then how were you friends if you were keeping that massive secret from her?”

“Keeping things quiet doesn’t negate a friendship. Complete and utter honesty is rarely disclosed even between the closest of friends.”

“That’s a toxic way of looking at things.”

“Well, you should already be well familiar with that from your experiences with Asher.”

“What?”

“It’s doubtful he’ll ever share all that he knows, that there will ever come a time when the barrier he has in play will come down.”

“Is that your roundabout way of saying you believe he’s like his father?”

“There are similarities, yes. And to do this, to hit at the Head Infidels, and then take it as far as destroying them, he’ll have to draw on those more than ever. Unfortunately, that’s the price to pay for what you want to do. It takes a monster to destroy a monster.”

Her words brought the memory of my warning to Aurora not long ago to the forefront of my mind.

“I told you I believe you can survive this. But you won’t come out of it unscathed. It’ll drag you into the dark.”

“We’re already monsters. That die was cast long ago.”

She shook her head. “You have the makings of monsters. You operate on the fringes of the dark. You’re not yet fully immersed. This mission will test that. It will push it to its limits.”

I shoved my hand through my hair. “This ominous warning of yours is pointless, because it already is what it is. There’s no going back now.”

“You can still walk away from this.”

I shook my head. “Asher already had to declare war. They’ll come for us now. So either we just sit and wait for that to happen, or we come at them before they can come at us.”

“Defensive becomes offensive.”

“Right. We were forced into a defensive position for way too long as it was. We’re not going back now. No matter the risks.” I snatched up the coffee mug she’d brought out for me. “As long as they’re still fucking well breathing, that is.” I took a big gulp of the coffee. “Hell, even if it’s just me, I’ll see it through.”

“To free her?”

I eyed her over the rim of the mug.

“Your mother,” she clarified.

I looked away and took another couple of gulps.

“You haven’t asked me,” she said.

“Asked you?”

“The question I’m sure you’ve been dying to ask since I revealed that I was close with Valerie.” She held up a hand. “I’ll save you the trouble. Yes. Yes, I believe she can be saved, that the damage they and your father have done to her can actually be undone. Given enough time and care.”

I stilled at her words.

When Asher had first made that promise of freedom to us years back when we’d moved into Hexwood House away from the Infidels stronghold of the City of Torvin, that liberation for me had always included my mom, pulling her out with us. But as time had gone by, as she’d been stuck back there without me as a reprieve, something that she used as hope to hold onto, doubts had crept in and only mounted over the years. Doubts that there’d be anything left of her by the time we achieved what we wanted to, by the time we got out. When Aurora had come into the mix, being who she was and who she was connected to, it had sparked a hope that I hadn’t felt for a while. It had kicked things into high gear, the promise and mere goal actually shifting from an abstract state to something real. And with things finally able to move forward in that area, it had made freeing my mom more than a fantasy. And once something lost its fantasy status, it became reality, and reality was fraught with complications. Those complications I’d overlooked when it had just been an idea. But now it could actually happen, I’d started to worry whether she’d be able to exist outside of being a doll.

Having Olivia here telling me that my mom could actually be pulled out and put back together as a person, rather than the sub-human she’d been treated as for so long… it seemed more than just a little too good to be true.

So, as much as I’d wanted to hear somebody speak those words, I couldn’t accept them.

“You’re not a doctor.”

“I’m not,” she said, taking another sip of her coffee, before leaning forward and telling me, “However, I was trained to withstand brutal attempts at coercive persuasion—brainwashing techniques—and also how to overcome it.”

“And? How does that apply to my mom? She’s been suffering under it for over two decades.”

“I recognized some tools she was applying to minimize some of the damage, to keep a part of herself protected and locked away from their indoctrination and abuse.”

“You saw a real person under there?”

She smiled. “I did.”

“She’s not fully… gone?”

“No.”

I sank back in the chair, trying to absorb it, to reconcile it.

Shoving a hand through my hair, I told her, “Well, you’re certainly good with the distractions.”

“It wasn’t just distraction. You deserve to know your mom will be okay. I’m sure it’s been wearing heavily on you.”

“Why care about that? About what’s wearing on me?” I held up a finger before she could speak. “Ah, right. Ensuring the mental stability of those you’re working with.”

“You’re not my concern when it comes to that.”

I cocked an eyebrow. “What? You know who I am, you would’ve been keeping an eye on everything concerning the Infidels, all of it. Being in the know is the only way to stay steps ahead and ensure you remain hidden and believed dead.”

“All correct. I brought your mom up, because caring and demonstrating the capacity to feel is a tether to our humanity.”

“A guard against becoming true monsters,” I realized aloud. I shifted on the chair and sat forward, my hands dropping between my legs. “You know, that care and emotion can also become twisted. We can be so determined to protect those we feel that for that we’re willing to do anything, cross any lines, and commit any despicable acts, just to safeguard them.”

“We’re not just talking about your mom here, are we? It’s Aurora. I saw the way you and Asher were with her earlier. You’re not just a team on this mission.”

“We’re not.”

She grimaced. “You need to focus on your mom.”

“What?”

“Aurora doesn’t belong here. She wasn’t supposed to be here in the first place, and she can’t remain. Not with the three of you.”

“Is that a threat?”

“It’s a wakeup call. You don’t need her now. Her part concerning the mission is done. She made it possible for you to reach out to me, to acquire the intel you needed. The rest can be done without her. It will have to be.”

I ground my jaw. “She’s not going anywhere.”

“Carson wants her,” she went on, determinedly. “He’s just biding his time. There’s something in the way, something he’s waiting on. I don’t know what. Not yet. But either way, he will come. He’ll take her. And there is no doubt in my mind that he will absolutely destroy her when he does. She needs to disappear as soon as possible. You all need to let her go.”

My gut twisted.

My whole body tensed.

“I can’t do that,” I croaked out, unsteadily.

“If you want to keep her safe, you’ll have to,” she said, sadly.

I turned away, scrubbing my hand over my face.

Letting Aurora go?

I couldn’t even begin to comprehend it, to think of it as an actual option, something that I could actually bring myself to do.

She’d become… so much to me.

To all three of us.

It was true that just by being in our orbit, it meant danger. We were the fucking Infidels of the Hexwood Faction, for fuck’s sakes. The things we did, that we had to do… she hadn’t even seen the half of it yet, because other things had taken precedence.

With this mission, though, it put that danger into a whole other bracket. And, yeah, learning of the sick interest that Carson had in her took that up several more notches.

But Aurora wasn’t some clueless party.

She wasn’t a damsel in distress. She could hold her own.

And, she had come to us, wanting to be a part of it.

Fuck it,she was one of us now.

That was a done deal.

It wouldn’t change.

It couldn’t.

Letting her go wasn’t an option.

And she’d feel the same way.

She cared about us.

I knew it, I’d felt it.

She’d want to stay.

She would… of course, she would.

She belonged with us now.

The sound of a phone buzzing jolted me from my thoughts.

I patted my jacket pocket, disappointment settling over me in the next couple of seconds as I realized it wasn’t mine vibrating.

I looked to see Olivia pulling her phone from one of the many pockets in her jacket.

All the way here in the car and since we’d been at the safehouse too, she’d remained completely calm and collected.

Until now.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

She spared me a single glance before rapidly texting back whoever the hell it was, then stowing it away and shooting to her feet. “Change of plans.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I need to go.”

“Excuse me?”

“There’s something I need to do.”

“Fine. Once Asher gets here we’ll figure it out, incorporate it into the rest.”

“I’m afraid it can’t work like that.”

“Why not?” What the hell was happening?

She snatched up her bag and slung it over her shoulder. “I can’t be here anymore.”

I reacted as she rushed past me to the entryway, following after her at a jog.

“You agreed to join forces with us to take down the dollhouse network,” I called after her. “You were on board. Enthusiastic, even. Really gung-ho about it.”

“Things have shifted,” she told me over her shoulder.

“Just like that? With a single text?”

“Correct.”

“Who the hell was that? Is someone threatening you? Those Heretics, perhaps?”

When she didn’t answer and moved to open the front door instead, I snagged her arm and jerked her back around to face me. “I can’t let you leave.”

Her eyes darted to my hand on her. “Stand aside, or I’ll be forced to take drastic action.”

“The hell I will.”

She sighed. “Just remember, I warned you. We’re not enemies.”

“What are—”

The glint of metal caught my eye a second before a cuff slapped to my wrist.

With a brutal jolt, she shoved me into the stairs, and then the other cuff was locked around the banister, confining me to it.

She darted back out of my reach as I bolted forward roaring and trying to rip myself free.

“Don’t fucking do this!”

She pulled up short, her hand on the door.

But it was all too brief before she threw it open and walked out.

“Son of a bitch!” I bellowed, my irate voice tearing through the safehouse.