Chapter One

"Do you need anything else?" Oliver asked as he hovered in the office door.

"No, I'll get these things signed for you and get out of the way. Sorry for taking so long to get to them," I answered, sighing as I stared at the mountain of paperwork in front of me.

"Just let me know. I'll be right down the hall."

I nodded until the door clicked shut softly, leaving me alone with the work I had avoided for several weeks. I had reasonable excuses as to why I was late getting to the stack of administrative stuff Oliver had put aside for me. I was busy helping Niko settle into his new home in Texas, making sure he secured his territory. We"d told the other werecats in the Americas that he had come to our side of the Atlantic permanently. Carey was done with her regular school year and was now taking early college classes for the summer. She would be graduating high school a full year earlier than most, and if I understood everything I was hearing, she would already be a year ahead in college credits toward her bachelor's degree, no matter what her major would be. She was undecided on that front, but no one was rushing her.

We only cleared out Fenris's house last week.

The thought made me tear up. I couldn't stop it, the unwanted flood that hit me every time I thought of that mad wolf. His letter haunted me, still in my bag and taken with me everywhere. I couldn't let it go, but I couldn't think about it, either.

I pushed through the paperwork, not paying attention to what any of it was as I signed. I knew Oliver would never put something in front of me that really needed a decision. He would talk me through it and deal with it while he had my full attention. This was just standard stuff that I had probably signed a dozen times before and would need to keep signing or something.

Shoving the pile into the tray for him, I got up and started heading out, not wanting to linger in the growing bar and grill that my old dive bar had become. Since the sudden trip to Germany, I'd tried to keep a lower profile, wanting to focus on my family and the supernatural. The residents of Jacksonville, Texas, and the surrounding area weren't on my list of people to care about. Two werecats had already visited since Niko's move had been announced.

Announced. It sounded official, but nothing was really announced in the werecat world. I made a few phone calls. He made a few phone calls. By the end of a week, every werecat on the planet knew that he lived in Texas near me. The official reason was his need to spend more time with his son, Dirk Brandt, and that wasn't a lie. It almost felt like one, seeing how we'd told no one what happened in Germany, but it wasn't. Niko moved to Texas to live near Dirk… and to escape from the duties he forced himself to tend to after the death of his biological family and the original Black Forest pack. He didn't have much of a choice in the matter with the Black Forest situation, as he had been told to leave, but he also had to be ready for that kind of change.

As for the visitors, one had been a friend of Niko's for a couple of centuries before coming to the Americas, just wanting to check-in. The other wanted to make sure the status quo was maintained. I was still the main werecat from our family in the region, and I was still engaged to a werewolf. Niko didn't completely give up everything he had in Germany, as he had spent hundreds of years building it up, and he didn't want to upset the precarious balance I was maintaining. However, he couldn't do much to help Davor in Europe anymore, either.

"Jacky?"

I was nearly down the stairs when Oliver's voice reached me. I paused on the last step and looked over my shoulder to see him staring down at me.

"I'm done with everything. None of it was important, right?"

"Nothing you need to worry about," he said, frowning a little. "Are you okay? You've been…"

"Busy. I'm just busy. You know how it is. Hey, do you know the time?" I had limited time to get out of the place before anyone showed up for the dinner rush. "I want to get out of here before any customers show up, so if you need anything else, let me know now, and I'll handle it at home."

"It's Monday. The werewolves will be here in an hour," he replied, tilting his head to the side in a mix of confusion and concern, stealing the expression from said werewolves and werecats he was surrounded by. It was one I got from a lot of people, no matter what species they were.

"That's right." I tapped the handrail, considering my next move. "I guess I'll get out of here, so I'm not in their way."

I was gone before Oliver could reply to that, not wanting to get caught staying for the weekly werewolf meeting. Heath wasn't home. I could feel him through my territory magic with Landon and Dirk. Carey was listening to music in her room, so I snuck by, not wanting to disturb her, and got into my office without incident.

Slumping into my chair, not bothering to turn on my computer, I sighed. I turned and looked out the windows to see the trees. The full moon had only been the past weekend, and it had been a little tense. I could barely enjoy my trees anymore while the werewolves were worked up over the death of one of their own. Sure, it had been Fenris, the mad wolf, but he had been one of the small, defiant pack that followed my fiancé, Heath Everson. It didn't matter how annoying some of them had found him, or scary, or any other issue he presented to them on any given day. He had been one of them, and now he was gone.

He was gone because I killed him.

Like Niko leaving Germany to live in Texas, it was more complicated than it sounded. I was haunted by it. Of everything I had gone through in the last several years, it was Fenris that haunted me like a ghost I couldn't shake. Unlike Niko's situation with his move, we were more honest with the werewolves about why Fenris was dead and what really happened to him in the days before he ran off to Germany to kill Niko. They knew he had been having blackouts, knew he was a product and the victim of messy fae magic that no one could properly predict. They knew he was once a man Niko had called his brother and what he had done to the Black Forest pack during the War.

I stared at the trees, lost in my thoughts, until a soft knock spooked me. It wasn't often someone got to my office door without me knowing they were coming. I knew it was Heath before the door opened.

"Hey," I said, trying my best to give a smile, but today it was harder. It had been harder for weeks now. It wasn't the fault of the man in front of me, and he knew that. His own smile was sympathetic, gentle, and kind as he closed the door behind him.

"Hey. Do you want to come to the meeting today?"

"Why?" I frowned as he came closer.

"Just because."

"You're going to need to do better than that." I saw no reason to disrupt everyone by joining the pack meeting.

He sat across from me, clearly studying me, but I wasn't annoyed by it. I had been off for weeks, and he was being patient with me. I waited patiently as he smelled the air, studied my face, and formed his argument to get me to the werewolf meeting.

"You haven't been getting out of the house too much, and I'm worried. I know werecats can handle being isolated. You're all wired to be loners, but this is different. I can tell it's different."

"It is," I agreed softly.

"I just want to see if you want to get out and try hanging out with the pack."

"I killed Fenris," I reminded him, swallowing as I looked back to the trees.

"They're not angry with you about that," he countered. "They're grieving. He was… a frustrating, concerning, and important piece of the pack. He shouldn't have fit, but he did. They're grieving, and it just takes time. You know that. They're not angry. Under the same circumstances, any one of them would have fought for their life too and hopefully won."

"They know I killed him, and I don't want to sit around and try being one of them with that hanging over our heads." I looked down at my hands, wringing them together in my lap. "When everyone starts feeling better, I'll start talking to them again, but right now, I just want them to grieve without… me sitting there and reminding them of it all. I killed him. His blood is on my hands. His last words echo in my mind." I gave him a desperate look, not sure what my face really looked like, as I locked eyes with him. "This isn't forever. I'm just… not ready for them. Not ready for everything that might be in their eyes and scents."

"Okay. I understand. I'm sorry if I overstepped?—"

"No!" I stopped him before he could finish that terrible sentence. "You're not overstepping, Heath. You can ask me every Monday, and I'm so grateful that you keep checking up on me and seeing if I'm ready. You can always ask me. You can always talk to me. Don't… Don't stop doing that. Please…"

I got my response from his sudden lean over my desk, grabbing the back of my head, his fingers threading through my hair, and a kiss that would keep me thinking about him for hours.

"I love you, Jacky Leon," he whispered when it was over, his hand sliding out of my hair to cup my cheek.

"I love you, too," I said, smiling, leaning into his hand. We stayed like that for what felt like an eternity, our own forever hidden in the seconds we stole before he had to go.

"Are you okay?" he finally asked, a question he asked every day and for good reason. He had to make sure the answer never changed, and I didn't fault him for that.

I gave him the answer I always did.

"I will be," I promised. Then I decided to break the moment, leaning back and taking a deep breath as if I was preparing to climb a mountain. "I think I'll visit Niko while you're with the werewolves. Since you'll have Landon and Dirk, he'll also be wondering what to do with himself."

"When was the last time you saw him?"

"A week ago. I know he texts Dirk regularly, but he's a werecat still looking for the perfect spot to settle down. I think he's debating going rogue like Mischa and just not settling down at all."

"Do you think it's a possibility?"

"I think there is, but I don't find it the most likely outcome. I think he's taking a lot of care in his choice since it'll be his home for a long time. He can't go back to his childhood home, and he's never claimed another place as a proper home before. From my understanding, he would leave Germany for years at a time but just wander until he could go back. Not technically a rogue because he still wanted his territory, but understandably not in it."

"Avoiding the wars?" Heath looked like he had heard similar from several supernaturals before.

"Yeah," I confirmed, nodding. "I'll keep you posted, though, and see if I can help him. It would be good for him to settle down if we need to retreat from my territory. He can be a back-up place to run to. Also, he can build the guest house Jabari wants so badly."

"Speaking of building… Tonight, one of the agenda items for the meeting is building a proper pack house. Nothing like what we had in Dallas, mind you. No one would live there."

"Oh?"

"I was presented with a plan to buy the land across the street from Kick Shot. Teagan has been working on it to keep his mind off what happened in April."

"Well, you talk to the pack about it, then tell me all about it," I said, smiling. "Shoo. Go on. You're going to be late."

"I'm the Alpha. I'm never late to my own meetings. They're early."

"Don't give me that line."

He laughed as I poked his chest and was still laughing as he closed my office door, leaving me to attend to his own responsibilities.

Life was moving forward, and I knew I needed to do my best like everyone else was, so I texted Niko. It was time to get my brother to pick a territory and settle down or at least figure out what was holding him up.