37. AURELIA

Chapter thirty-seven

AURELIA

A fter releasing the creatures, we ventured to a grove of trees near the water. The water was captivating in how it was clear as it flowed, creating small waves that sputtered to the shore, blurring my reflection in the process. My feet dug into the mud, sinking in, grounding me to the earth.

"This mud is spectacular!" I shouted, giggling as it tickled my toes beneath me, admiring the different tones of beige it had.

"Mud? That's called sand, my Queen," Damian said as he was creating a space for us, removing large debris and wood.

"Sand?" I asked, even more captivated than before.

The blue of the water reminded me of Cora and our dream to travel and see the ocean. It was something that I had wanted to do since I was a little girl. I wished Cora was here, but I knew she was helping take care of the kingdom back at home.

Damian went to find firewood, but I found myself unable to tear my gaze away from the surface of the sea. The Celestials appeared in the darkness of the sky, twinkling their reflections across the ocean's surface.

Damian stood by the fire, extending his hands toward the flickering flames to ward off the chill. Meanwhile, Belle laid nearby, her eyes closed in contentment; her body curled protectively around the warmth of the fire, basking in its comforting glow.

Standing up from the shore of the water, I attempted to brush off the sand, dirt, and rubble that clung to my clothes. The efforts were in vain as I noticed the streaks of dark gold scraped along the black fabric. The splotches of smoke and dust were not leaving anytime soon.

I neared Damian, Belle, and the fire, and immediately felt the warmth from the flames. Sitting quietly on the log, Damian had his elbows digging into his knees and a large stick in his hand, jabbing the embers of the fire.

"Hey," I said, sitting beside him on the log.

"We need to get you new clothes," he breathed out. There were glints of worry in his eyes. He was concerned about me. I guessed I shouldn't be surprised. He had saved my life.

"How about a ‘thank you'?" I joked. "I had no idea that I could heal with my blood."

His laughter filled the air, accompanied by a slow-spreading smirk on his face, revealing the dimple I adored on his cheek. "I didn't, either. What's it like?" he queried. "Talking to dragons–being a dragon."

"Natural," I mustered out. "They're a part of me. And me them, I guess."

We sat in silence once more. I waited awkwardly for him to say something as I watched popping embers spit out of the fire, landing in various places along the sand around us.

"Why did you come back?" I asked, bringing it back up. "Want to continue our contract? Were you planning on killing me this time?"

A subtle tremor ran through his frame as he shook his head. The only reason for him to come back was to continue our deal.

"If I wanted a Scaleborne, I would've taken the other girl, and I don't want to further our deal."

"Then why did you come back if you didn't for my golden blood or to further our bargain?"

He pulled the locket from his pocket and held it in his hands, strumming it with his thumb. I remembered seeing it the first day I met him around his chest. The "S" sharply engraved across the front. "This locket was my fiancée's," he said, staring intently at the silver heart-shaped necklace. He tossed it from hand to hand as if it was hot, then grasped it tightly again. Holding it to his heart, he then stood up.

I wanted to ask where he was going until I realized. His steps were purposeful as he reached the outstretched water. The sea going on for miles and miles. He lifted his hand and threw it out into the water. The sound of it pelted the waves and sank to the bottom of the ocean, forever to be lost.

"What are you doing?!" I yelled. Why would he toss the locket into the ocean when it meant so much to him? Why else would he have it symbolized with a letter?

He walked back over to where I was on the log, his face blank. I could feel mine in horror, still confused by why he threw the necklace into the water. He settled on the log next to me, putting his hand near my own, looking up at me with his big brown eyes that I once thought were the portals to Haxnau 1 . "It's not just about the locket, Aurelia," he said, using my name for once, showing that he was serious, "but it's about what the locket meant to me." He paused, waiting for my response.

"What did it mean to you?" I asked with drawn-out words.

"As much as I loved," he emphasized, "my fiancée, Sebastia, this locket only brought me hurt and pain." His teeth clenched, and his eyes strained with emotion. It dawned on me that the person he wanted to bring back to life must've been his fiancée. The way he reacted with the fire and the girl that he saved, and how emotional he became, all made sense.

His fiancée died, and he wanted to bring her back.

"But why?"

"It's what you said today, ‘emotions are what fuel our power.' I fixated on the loss of her. I only ever grieved for her. I never could think about the good memories. I only hurt and ached for her every time I touched that locket. She met the gatekeeper of Ezu 2 , but I couldn't let her go. That locket is a symbol of passing through the gates of Ezu , but I can't bear the thought of holding onto it anymore, knowing that it brings me such sorrow. Sebastia shouldn't be remembered like that." He paused, seeming to think about the next words he was about to say. "She would've wanted me to move on. She would've despised the person I became. The cherished memory of her transformed from one of warmth to one steeped in sorrow and shadow." He peered up into my eyes. "I've actually felt dead for a long time. Only the darkness found within the shadows. My heart was hollow and empty until I met you."

"Me?" I questioned, pointing to myself, my eyebrows up and ruffled in confusion.

"You," he clarified. "Aurelia, you have shown me what life should be about. You make me feel alive. You have helped not only remind me of the good in life but have allowed me to pass through the hurt of Sebastia's death and to accept it for what it is. You have helped teach me that grieving isn't everything. My eyes have been opened. I finally remember the good that I had with Sebastia. And I understand the ‘had'. You are too good for this world, and you are going to make a remarkable queen one day. You ask why I came back, and that's why."

I was speechless, and unsure what to say in response to his kind words. I was grateful that I could help him and that he was here with me now.

He was an assassin.

An assassin was telling me that I brought life into his own.

The gold flushed to my cheeks; my hands raised gently, attempting to cover them.

"I am speechless, Damian," I finally said out loud. "Thank you for your kind words." I smiled.

"I'm not kind, Aurelia. I never will be. I am a killer. I've killed many. And I will kill more if it means that I am able to live even one more day with you. We are allies, and I will protect you and care for you in ways that you may never fully understand. You have my word. I hope you know that I can't change." His body shifted, the log beneath us creaking.

I nodded, understanding who he was–accepting who he was: a killer. The blood of each death was a stain on his hands, but I accepted him, nonetheless.

He continued, "I don't want your help or your blood. I only want the privilege of continuing to escort you on this journey if you'll have me."

"I'll have you if you keep up and stop lollygagging behind me all the time," I said jokingly, bumping my shoulder against his. He chuckled at my joke, his eyes looking down, glancing at our feet.

His hand was right next to my own. I could feel the warmth radiating from the blood flowing through the veins beneath his skin. I thought of moving my fingers to overlap his own, wanting to continue to stare into his eyes for the comfort of his touch.

"How did she die?" I asked, thinking about the locket and the weight that he had held on his shoulders.

"They died by Scalekind," he said so quickly that I had no time to process what he muttered.

"They?"

"My parents and Sebastia."

"And by Dragons?" I asked, thinking of how he acted with the fire.

"They flew by and spread fire on my hometown within seconds. When I returned from fishing one night, the house caved in, and my fiancée died in my arms." His gaze drifted elsewhere as he spoke.

"And your parents?" I questioned.

"The same. The town was destroyed, leaving me alone."

There was a piece of me that couldn't imagine how awful that experience must have been. I couldn't imagine losing my parents, or the person I loved, even Cora. I couldn't imagine losing any of them–especially so instantly and not being able to say goodbye. It made sense, what was haunting his dreams, that it created nightmares while he slept.

I started to understand Damian and his odd ways better, why he was so distant and maybe even a little quiet. He was bold for what he wanted and wouldn't back down, no matter what. I loved this about him. I could feel my heart growing fonder toward him and his actions for me, trusting him more. He treated me with respect and kindness, which was almost impossible to find on the kingdom's grounds–especially for someone like me: a Scaleborne.

"Is that what led you to killing?" I asked, knowing that it was personal, but I was curious.

"Well," he started. "I couldn't work after my loved one's deaths. I was an apprentice as a swordsmith, but after the fire, we lost everything. I lost everything. We had little saved. One day, there was a note that showed up at my front door. It had an assignment on it, and in return, the person promised to provide food, shelter, clothing, and everything that I could've possibly needed, without having to go out and find a job. The tasks started out easy. They started out by delivering things to sketchy people at night, then to stealing, and so forth. One day, it was that I had to kill someone. I followed them for a while. I told myself that I could only do it if they were a bad person. After following them for a few days and seeing what they did, I justified them as bad. They were a part of some gang that hurt children and all of that.

"The first one was difficult, but after that, it got easier and easier. It made it so that I never had to work and that I was provided with everything that I needed."

"Would you ever go back in time and change any of it?" I asked.

"No. I wouldn't. I was in a dark state of mind and didn't think that I could've told myself not to. Now it is a part of me. I am proud of their deaths. I got rid of a lot of bad men. Men that were involved in things that they shouldn't have been involved with." He paused, his dangerous brown eyes not looking at me. I wondered if there was some shame in his actions, whether he admitted it or not.

"All of the tattoos that I have. They all have to do with the lives that I have taken." He pulled up his sleeves, showing each of them. I had never looked at them clearly and wondered what they could've been from. There was a peach, a knife, a cape, smoke, and other images that I couldn't quite decipher. They were all morphed together into one picture that covered the entirety of his arms, neck, and back.

All this time, I knew he was a killer, but never knew why he did it. I could feel the heartache that he felt–how alone he felt. And it all made sense. Killing wasn't just his job or hobby, it was his life and a part of who he was. My heart softened for him. I understood him better. My feelings grew fonder. I knew that there was more to him than just killing. That there was more to the beating heart inside of his chest.

1. Haxnau (Hah-nah-woo): Hell

2. Ezu (Eh-ooh): Heaven