Chapter 30

Chapter Thirty

Diego

A year and a half later...

AVERY SQUEEZES MY hand. "It's going to be fine. Calm down."

I cannot calm down. I cannot calm down at all.

We're standing on a mat that says "WELCOME" in huge letters with flowers all around it. Avery doesn't bother knocking on the door before us. They simply open it, and a wave of noise and laughter and good food smell washes over me, warm as a hug.

Avery pulls me into their parents' house.

We've waited a year and a half for me to meet them. We wanted Avery to graduate so that there couldn't be any weird questions about the relationship. Avery insisted their parents wouldn't care, but I couldn't face Avery's parents while there was any possibility they'd see me as a creep or something. Not a chance.

In the meantime, I've dragged Avery out to Wisconsin more than once. Well, not dragged. Avery all but insisted on joining me and meeting my family. They charmed my parents as easily the second and third time as they did on that first coincidental meeting at the university. My siblings were easy marks for their bubbly personality and quick wit as well. It was almost distressing how much my entire family instantly loved Avery.

We went to the farm down the road that makes fudge. We went to my tiny middle/high school. We even went out to the gay bar. Avery experienced my whole world, and they took it in with open arms.

It's my turn to experience their world.

My hand is so sweaty I feel like it might slip right out of their grasp as they pull me into their parents' house. A middle-aged women calls out in delight the moment we're inside. Then it's like an avalanche of affection. Avery's sisters pound down the stairs to see them. Their dad insists on sitting us down on the couch and getting us something to drink.

"They can be a lot the first time," someone sitting in the window seat says.

This has to be Gabriel, Avery's older brother. He's dark-haired and dark-eyed, and he sits cuddled up against a silent stone of a man with shaved sides and a blank expression .

"Trent survived it," Gabriel says, nodding at his boyfriend. "If he can do it, you'll be fine."

I appreciate the sentiment, but at the moment I'm so overwhelmed that the couch is like a boulder I cling to for safety in the middle of a rushing river. I sit pressed up against one side with Avery beside me, their hand on my thigh like they're anchoring me in place.

"However," Gabriel says, "I do have questions."

"Gabriel, be nice," Avery says.

"Who suggested I'm not going to be nice? I just have questions."

Avery rolls their eyes but does not stop their brother from continuing.

"You two have been dating for a while now, huh?" Gabriel says.

I swallow. I know Avery explained the whole thing to him, even the TA part. While Avery was willing to keep this from most of their family, they're close with Gabriel and wanted to tell him the full truth.

"Yes, we have," I say.

"And now you're taking my dear sibling out of the country, huh?" Gabriel says.

I shoot a look over at Avery. "It's not … like that."

I am not at all acing this. The weight of Gabriel's gaze pins me to the couch and leaves me sweating through my T-shirt. Trent is silent and imposing beside him. I have no idea what the guy is thinking, if he's completely checked out or combing over my every word. He's impossible to read, and offers not so much as a twitch of his lips.

"I…" I gather myself. "When Avery was a student, I realized that they're … they're really brilliant." I look at Avery instead of their brother as I get going, and the words come easier. "They were far beyond their classmates. Every essay, all that research they did — it was clear they could do so much more than graduate and go straight into some office job."

I finally turn my gaze back to Gabriel, but I'm more determined and steady now. "So yes, I encouraged them to apply to graduate programs and keep studying, keep researching, keep contributing to the field. And I promised I'd go with them wherever they wanted to go."

Gabriel's eyebrows rise. Trent cracks the thinnest of smiles, one side of his mouth pulling up ever so slightly.

"He's right," Trent says quietly, and somehow I know that means I've survived.

Gabriel breaks into a smile every bit as bright and charming as Avery's. I see the resemblance now, and perhaps even the reason they're so close. There's a similarity to the mannerisms. As Gabriel's stern older brother act falls away, I glimpse a glimmer of Avery beneath it, a face made for joy and smiling.

"This program is incredible," Avery chimes in. "It's one of the best in the entire world. I can't believe I even got in. "

"Of course you got in," Gabriel says. "You're brilliant, like he said."

Avery shakes their head but doesn't disagree. "It's kind of intimidating, to be honest. Going so far from home and everything. But it's exciting too. Especially because I'll have someone I care about with me."

Avery catches my eyes, and for a moment there's no one else in the entire house, just us sitting there on the couch clinging to each other and smiling about the bright future awaiting us.

"Oh God, stop it, you're so cute I'm going to throw up," Gabriel says, but he's laughing. "Alright, alright, I get it. I just had to be sure. You're my baby sibling, and Mom is about to lose both of us once Trent and I make our big move out to Seattle. It's going to be hard on her, and I had to know it was worth it."

He rises and comes to stand before us. Gabriel ruffles Avery's hair and leans closer so he can lower his voice.

"But clearly it is, and I'm really, really happy for you."

Avery's eyes shine with emotion. They surge up to wrap their brother in a hug. "I'm really happy too."

Trent and I share a sympathetic glance as Gabriel and Avery dive into some deep sibling conversation that doesn't involve either of us. It's kind of adorable, and I tuck it away to tease Avery with later.

Avery's father interrupts the sibling reunion to call us into the kitchen for dinner. It's a tight fit with me and Trent adding to a family of six. But everyone squeezes in without complaint, completely happy to sit elbow-to-elbow with whomever is beside them.

Mashed potatoes, carrots, roasted chicken, green beans, dinner rolls. The table is overflowing with food, and everyone starts jostling to get some onto their plates. It's lucky for me that Avery is a pro at navigating this, because I'm pretty sure I would sit here looking stupid and not manage to eat a single thing if it weren't for them filling my plate for me. Trent is on my other side, and I notice Gabriel doing the same for him. Apparently, being a boyfriend to one of the Aaron siblings comes with privileges.

The conversation is light. Mostly, Avery's sisters want to catch up with them now that they've graduated. And of course, Avery's parents have all the usual questions about how school was, how saying goodbye to their friends was, all of that. I sit back and keep quiet, more than content to be overlooked during this family get together. Trent seems to have the same idea. Except that when Mom's attention swings toward the two quiet shadows at the table, she leaves Trent be.

("Gabriel has known him since they were kids. Trent's eaten dinner at our house like a hundred times. No one expects him to talk," Avery explains to me later.)

"So, you went to school with Avery?" Mom says .

I barely choke down my mashed potatoes. Here it is. I promised Avery I wouldn't lie, but I also don't really want to tell their parents the whole story. I'm still convinced they'd be horrified by the fact I first met Avery when they were my student and I was their TA.

"Yes, though I was a graduate student," I say.

"But you're also studying gender and sexuality?"

"That's right. So we had some opportunities to run into each other on campus and stuff."

"I see."

My chest clenches. I don't know if that's a bad "I see" or a I'm-going-to-murder-you-for-taking-advantage-of-my-precious-child "I see."

"We did research together," Avery says. "Since Diego was in a graduate program, he knew a lot of things I didn't. He was really kind, actually, mentoring me and stuff. I learned a lot of things I wouldn't have without him."

"Boring," one of Avery's sisters mutters.

"Cora, stop it," Avery's mother says. "It's not boring to them."

Cora, the youngest Aaron at the table, rolls her eyes dramatically. "You two are such nerds."

"That's why they're meant for each other," the other young sister chimes in, elbowing Cora.

I can feel the heat crawling up my face.

"Nerds are cool now. Shut up," Avery says. "And your room is full of fantasy novels so who are you calling a nerd, Abigail?"

Abigail flushes scarlet and looks like she wants to launch a fresh attack, but Avery's father cuts in.

"We're not fighting at the dinner table," he says. "We have guests."

"Trent doesn't count as a guest," Abigail says. "He's practically lived here since him and Gabriel were kids."

"Then we have guest ," Avery's father says. "And we're going to mind our manners."

"Whatever," Abigail grumbles.

"Anyway," Avery's mother says, "it sounds like you two have a lot in common. And now you're going all the way to London to keep studying?"

She's trying to sound casual, but I can hear the motherly strain in her voice. Her baby is flying to a whole different continent at the end of the summer. It's got to be rough on her.

"It'll mostly be Avery doing the studying," I say. "I'm transitioning between programs."

In truth, I'm not sure exactly what I'm doing next. I have my graduate degree. The program is only two years. But I never thought I'd get it and then dash to London. The future is a huge unknown, but that doesn't scare me the way it used to. In fact, I'm kind of excited about it.

Avery's parents let me off the hook for the rest of the dinner, moving on to easier topics. I don't have to talk a lot, and when everyone's done eating, I insist on helping clean up while Avery and their siblings hang out in the living room. Eventually, it's just me and Avery's father in the kitchen, silently washing dishes.

"Take care of them, alright?" Avery's father says.

His voice is so soft and mild that I almost lose it under the rush of the water gushing out of the tap. A lump clogs my throat at the quiet sincerity of his plea.

"I will, sir," I say.

He smiles over at me. "I know. I can tell. And it'll do me and Avery's mother good to know they're with someone who cares about them when we aren't there to protect them."

I can't speak. I swallow and swallow as we finish with the dishes, but my throat never clears.

When the dishes sit in a drying rack, Avery's father and I wipe off our hands. The living room is a tumult, and we watch it silently for a moment before Avery's father sets his hand on my shoulder and gives it a squeeze. Avery notices us, and waves to urge me to join them on the couch.

"Go ahead," Avery's father says, and it feels like more than just encouragement to join the conversation in the living room. It feels like a blessing, like he's almost passing Avery into my care. I know Avery can take care of themself, but I also know what their father is asking of me.

"Okay," I say. "I will."

That's a promise I mean to keep.