Chapter Sixteen

Bianca

milan, italy

Resigned to sitting on the bed in our hotel room in the heart of Milan while Allie got settled in, I pulled out my phone to mindlessly scroll through social media.

“Do you want to go out for dinner tonight?” I asked, thinking it was nice to have my sister joining me this week. She flew out with Grace, our sustainability editor, who was currently off with her Italian friends before Milan Fashion Week officially started.

Meanwhile, I was enjoying doing nothing. Although, my mind kept drifting to Knox, who was still in London. He had planned a longer stay there before coming out here. I kept wondering what he was doing and if Rina was still around. Or if he was here, what we’d be doing. Although, with this whole Rina situation, I had a feeling we wouldn’t be doing anything I actually wanted.

Allie walked out of the bathroom. “It’s a good thing I’m here because clearly you need me,” she said, disregarding my question.

Still scrolling, I asked, “Why’s that?”

“If all you can think about is your stomach, then you’re not in the right headspace, that’s all I’m saying.” She walked to the doors leading to our terrace and opened them.

I put my phone down and finally looked up at her. She was holding some sort of spray bottle. “What are you doing? I thought we’d go out.” Yet she looked like she was getting comfortable.

She backed up and walked to the door. “This is smoke-free sage mist.”

“Oh, no, you don’t,” I said, sitting up and holding my nose. “Why?”

“To diffuse our space. Do you know how many people’s bad energy is in this room?” She flung her hair over her shoulder and began misting. “You’ll thank me later when your mood is positive.”

“My mood is fine, thank you very much.”

Ignoring me, she spoke to the faceless evil—“The windows are open, bad energy, so I ask that you please leave. Although I love you, this space is for good energy only.”

I shook my head and threw my body down on the bed, my hand still firmly covering my nose. This was not what I had in mind for us to do together in Milan.

Her eyes landed on me as she walked around the room, alternating between misting and waving her hands in the air. “Stop being such a baby, we can go sit in the garden for a while when I’m done if you want.”

I nodded and almost snorted as I answered quickly, “Yes, I want!” I hopped off the bed and grabbed my stuff, making a beeline for the door. I loved my sister, but this stuff stank.

* * *

With one leg crossed over the other, Allie pulled her wrap tighter around her shoulders and regarded me seriously. “Let’s talk.”

I nodded, smiling. She just had this way of making me and everyone in her presence so comfortable around her. I would’ve been happy with any of my sisters popping in and joining me this week, but the fact that it was Allegra, my sweet Allie, made it even better.

She laughed and nudged me. “All right, what’s with the goofy smile?”

I shrugged. “Just thinking about how much I love you and how happy I am that you’re here with me.”

Pushing me to the side, she laughed. “Yeah, right.”

“It’s true,” I defended. We were all really close, but we didn’t get emotional and lovey often.

Rolling her eyes, she sat back against the iron bench and crossed her arms. “Talk to me about this whole Knox thing,” she said, then waited for me to dish.

Of course she wanted to talk about that. “And here I was going to ask about your roommate hunt,” I countered.

She waved a finger at me. “Uh-uh. I have no news on that front and we both know it. Now don’t change the subject. Talk to me about Knox. What exactly is going on?”

Sighing, I sat back, letting my shoulder hit hers. “There’s nothing to talk about. Not much is going on, to be honest. I told you guys the big stuff already, but basically we ran into each other at the airport and spent a decent amount of time together in London since we had a similar itinerary and were staying at the same hotel.”

“Serendipitous.”

I turned my gaze to the blossoms that were just beginning to take form in the garden around us. “That’s all you have to say about it?”

She shook her head. “I don’t know, Bibi. It’s wild, if you ask me. I think it’s fate and you know I’ll have your back. I mean, we all will, if this is what you want. Of course, he has to send his ex packing first.”

I sighed. I would’ve loved for Rina to be out of the picture. “I’m taking things one step at a time. I don’t want to get ahead of myself.”

“Meaning what exactly?”

“Meaning, don’t worry about me because I’m treading carefully. I know what I’m doing.”

“I just don’t like that you could get hurt.” Then she looked around before eyeing me. “Meanwhile, Dad is pretty dead set against you and Knox having any relationship, which is going to make things harder I’d imagine.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t want to talk about Dad.”

She bit her lip and shook her head again. “You can’t be mad at him forever and he needs to get over himself,” Allie noted.

I swallowed hard and took her hand in mine. “I hope that’s true, Allie, because I really like this man. I did before and my feelings have only grown more intense since reconnecting. Knox is this incredible man. He gets me. I get him. We laugh, we get along better than any two people should and we have this incredible connection. We’ve both grown so much, but it’s like this is our destiny. I have to explore this. I don’t want to live with regrets. That makes sense, right?”

“Totally! While I’m here you should use this time to get close to him and see if there’s really anything there. I’ll cover for you at any shows you need me to, just say the word.”

Backing up, I leaned against the arm of the bench, the iron design digging into my back. “Are you serious?”

“Dead serious,” she countered, an eyebrow raised as if ready to challenge me.

I stood up and looked at her. “If it’s at all possible, I love you now more than I did before. I’ll talk to him about his schedule, and we’ll figure things out. That is such a great idea, Allie.”

She came to stand next to me, her wrap slipping from her shoulders a little as she pulled me close for a hug. “Anytime.” When she dropped her arms, she walked toward the edge of the garden, then shook her head before turning around. “Figures, of all of us, you’d be the one to land yourself in a forbidden romance and a love triangle.”

Laughing, I waved her off. “Shut up!”

She took another step. “I’ll be upstairs. I need a shower before dinner and this should give you some time to talk to your man,” she said over her shoulder.

Deciding to stay down here for a little while longer, I looked up at the sky and said a prayer to Mom, asking her to help me with the whole Dad situation.

Yes, I couldn’t let go of the fact that Dad was so against me seeing Knox. I couldn’t help it, it bothered me. Not that it meant I’d change my mind. I had a feeling we all knew I wouldn’t be doing that.

But still, I didn’t like disobeying him. I never had.

My mother’s words echoed in my head— family is the most important thing in the world .

I closed my eyes and shed all the tears I’d been holding in for far too long. Not for Knox or this whole thing with Dad, but for my mother. How I missed her—her words of wisdom, her patience, her laughter.

“Why did you have to leave me?” I asked her in between sobs.

Everything about my mother was just suddenly gone, and I liked to think I did a good job soldiering on, but there were times, like now, when I wished more than anything in this world that she was still here with me.

Death could kiss my ass.