46. Sawyer

46

Three days lost in my heat, and then trying to decide where to live, how to arrange our schedules so we coincide enough to spend some time together. We settled on living at the McGraw Pack apartment since it's bigger and the bed is extendable enough to accommodate us all.

And then we helped Brinlee move her stuff from her horrible little apartment there, too.

Which leaves… me.

And Potato.

Potato likes the boxes I have brought to the apartment, because he is a cat, and he thinks they have been brought in for his personal entertainment.

Which means I keep having to fish him out of them as I pack my belongings away. The idea is to rent out the apartment, and that income will also help pay my debt and Brinlee's.

Turns out she hadn't gone to a loan shark, after all, thank fuck. Makes things so much simpler. Knowing she isn't in mortal danger from the street mafia is doing wonders for my anxiety, as in, I'm slightly more relaxed.

The guys are coming over today to help me carry away some of the boxes, and it's finally time for the pack to meet… the cat.

The doorbell rings, and I buzz them up. I crack the door open, mindful of Potato winding around my legs, meowing and trying to get his little head out the door.

"Potato, no. Back. I said, back." I end up picking him up, and he starts purring when I stroke him behind the ears. "Good kitty."

Of course, as three familiar broad-shouldered men come up the steps, he turns into a ball of claws and spitting fury.

"Easy, boy, easy… Friends. They're friends, okay?"

I end up picking him up by the scruff of his neck, which calms him down, and he hangs there like a tiny gray sack of potatoes, blinking as my men reach the door.

"Is that… a cat?" Kyrian growls.

I grin. "Guys… meet Potato."

Potato meows.

"Give him to me," Roman says, beckoning. "Here."

"Are you sure? You're not too attached to your limbs, I hope."

Roman hesitates, dark eyes widening. "Really? He looks so small…"

"Don't be fooled by his size."

Archer chuckles. "Haven't you learned your lesson yet, Ro? I mean, look at Sawyer and Brinlee. Great power often comes in small packages."

"I didn't realize when you said you had a cat what that implied," Kyrian mutters, glaring at my kitty who wiggles. "Is he going to kill us in our sleep?"

But when Roman finally reaches for Potato, my cat only gives a tiny meow and allows himself to be manhandled and cuddled in Roman's strong arms.

I blink. "Really? You let a total stranger cuddle you? Didn't I tell you not to trust strangers, Taters?"

He meows again, casting me a look as if to say, "This is your fault anyway."

And then Roman goes, "Whoz ze little kitteh, huh? Whoozza tiny boopy kitteh?"

Potato blinks.

The rest of us dissolve into guffaws.

"Really?" Kyrian wipes tears from his eyes. "You're gonna baby-talk to the cat?"

"Hey, that's how you talk to cats." Roman doesn't even bother to glare at us. "It's kitty talk, right, kitty?" He nuzzles Potato's nose, and Potato allows himself to be nose-booped.

"I'll be damned." I shake my head. "He hates strangers normally."

"It's as if he knows us already." Archer reaches out to stroke Potato's head. "Do you know us, little cat?"

Potato twists his head to sniff at Archer's fingers and purrs.

"Wait a minute. I think… he's kind of used to your scent," I say. "Because it's been on me for a while now."

"There you go." Roman rocks Potato a bit. "Our first child. Potato McGraw, welcome to the family."

It makes me laugh, but Kyrian bumps his hip against mine, and Archer grins, and Potato is still purring like a little car engine. Everything is fine with the world.

Everything will be fine, because we're doing it together.

"It's a tablet," I say.

"I know it's a tablet," Kyrian growls softly, holding it as if it's about to sprout fangs and bite him. "But why are you giving it to me? If it's for playing videogames, I'm not supposed to, not at work. At home, we have computers."

"Yeah, but a tablet can read books for you. Well, a computer, too, but this one is easier to carry around. Anyway, the app can read them. Until you're ready to start your reading classes."

He studies it, color rising to his high cheekbones. "I never even thought to do that."

"You kept away from books in general." I nod. "I get it."

I glance at the rest of our pack. They've chosen a corner table at the Book Café and are talking animatedly. Probably about a new costume they want Brinlee to wear inside the cage at the bar.

"Aren't you going to laugh?" Kyrian rumbles. "An alpha like me, afraid to touch books and reading classes? I could have done it many years ago, but every time I decided to start, I got cold feet. Who wouldn't laugh at an adult admitting he can't read or write?"

"I'm not laughing," I say. "I understand."

"I always think, everyone there will be younger than me. Kids. You know. Teenagers. It's like those nightmares where you find yourself as an adult in your elementary school classroom and all the kids know about the test and you don't."

"Yeah. I'm kind of an expert when it comes to anxiety, remember?" I grin at him.

"Damn." His grin is rueful. "Not funny. I hate the thought of you going through that all the time."

"It's getting better," I say quietly. "Since I found you guys."

"I'm glad."

"And I volunteer," I say.

"For what?"

"To help you learn. If the thought of going to classes stresses you out so much… I'd love to teach you."

His eyes glitter. He takes a sharp breath, steps closer to me. "You mean it?"

"One hundred percent. I love teaching. It will be my pleasure."

"Even if I'm an idiot and can't?—"

"You." I put a hand on his muscular chest. "Are. Amazing."

He snorts. "Sawyer?—"

"You've never been an idiot. Someone who chose to be with the McGraw Pack, with Brinlee and me, can't be an idiot. Yeah?"

Now he's the one grinning. "I'm a genius, aren't I?"

"You are. Now… go listen to the audiobooks I put on the tablet, and then we can talk about romantasy, shadowdaddies, and wingspans."

"…what the fuck are you talking about?"

"You'll see." I wink at him. "These are topics I'm discussing with Brinlee already. We can pull the whole pack into reading fantasy romance. It will be awesome. We can have a book club of our own."

He shakes his head, laughing. "You're insane."

"Wingspan. Mark my words." I rub my hand over his muscular pecs. "I promise it's worth talking about… and trying out."

His gaze darkens. "Oh, it's that sort of books, is it?"

"Most definitely. Why, is there any other kind worth reading? Welcome to the Smutty Bookworms Club, Ky."

He's still laughing as he takes the tablet and goes to sit with the others.

I love the sound of his laugh as much as I love the idea of helping him discover letters and words and books, and having our own private book club.

The McGraw Smutty Bookworms Club, where I'm already living my own private fantasy, and I hope it will never end.

"Hey, little brother." Eric plonks himself on one of the barstools as I wipe the counter. "Back at cleaning that thing?"

"It's the first time today," I announce, and it's the truth. I still count inside my head when something goes wrong, and get paranoid enough about whether I locked the café or not to return twice and check, but all in all… "I'm doing much better."

His brows go up. "Really? Good for you."

"Thanks."

"Pack life seems to be doing wonders for you. See? Told you."

"No, Eric. It's not just "pack life" that's doing wonders for me. It's this specific pack."

He scrutinizes my face for long moments, then nods. "Fine. You want me to say it? You were right, and I was wrong. I've never seen you as happy as you are with these guys. You were miserable meeting those packs our folks threw your way."

I blink. "An apology? You're saying I was right? Who are you and what have you done with my brother?"

He chuckles. "Don't rub it in."

"Why not? It feels good." But I put away the rag and fold my arms on the bar. "What can I do for you?"

"I only came to see how you're doing. Kyrian told me you had your first heat."

Said heat is now rising to my face. "Kyrian told you? Where did you see him?"

"At the gym. And you're my brother. I was worried because you weren't answering my calls and he hinted at it. Was it okay?"

"Yeah. It was… good."

"Let me see."

My cheeks blistering, I show him the inside of my wrists, then turn so he can see my neck. The bites are still bruised, but soon they will turn into silvery scars.

He whistles low. "Nice."

"Thanks." I swallow hard. I feel weird, discussing this with my older brother. "Happy now?"

He seems to get the hint and thankfully drops the subject, changing tack. "Our parents were furious that you went against their wishes."

I sigh. "I know. They sent me a million texts telling me what a bad omega son I am."

"Did they? Well, now they are sending you this."

He offers me an official looking document and I take it. "What is it?"

"A dissolution of the contract."

"What are you talking about?" I breathe, hardly able to hope. "Don't fuck with me, Eric, this is way too important."

"I'm serious. They want to write off your debt to them. See, I told them what I told you."

"Which is?"

"That you were right. That you were miserable meeting the other packs. That this pack makes you happy. That they are good guys—and girl—and that you?—"

I run around the bar and throw my arms around Eric. "Oh, my God, thank you, thank you, thank you, you have no idea what this means?—"

He chokes. "I think I have a pretty good idea?—"

"You rock, you're the best brother in the world."

When I pull back, he's smiling, but it's kind of sad. "Thanks."

"What is it?"

"Nothing. I just realized that I haven't taken good care of you as your older brother. I thought I knew what was best for you. I didn't realize that you knew much better."

I pat his cheek. "You're a fine man, Eric. I hope one day you'll find a pack as amazing as mine. And what you did, convincing our parents to erase that debt, more than made up for it, okay? You should come over for dinner one day. Meet the pack officially."

"I'd like that," he says, and his cheeks color.

My brother. Blushing. Apologizing. Never thought I'd see the day.

My debt is gone. Now we can pay Brinlee's debt and help her brother, while keeping the café. Everything feels lighter, brighter. Everything will be okay.

Love always finds you.

Believe it.

Love always finds a way.