44. Sawyer

44

Brinlee is unbelievable. Watching her dance is like watching a whirlwind of flowers, a sunrise in fast motion. Dazzling. Graceful. Enchanting. Exciting.

I clutch the cocktail Roman prepared for me, its coolness feeling good in my sweaty hand. Dammit, I feel too hot, I feel… off. Slightly dizzy and breathless, as if I have a fever, but also hard. So hard and slick, I'm sure I've stained my pants.

But that's not the reason I'm still sitting here. I'll deal with that later. No, not even bombs could move me from my spot on the barstool with my pack around me.

I need them. I fucking need them and… Fuck, my eyes are prickling. What, am I gonna weep like a child? Something's definitely off.

Did I take my suppressants this morning?

Or the one before?

Oh, shit… When was the last time I took them? I've been so stressed out lately that I can't even remember taking my pills in… days. Many days. Wait… I remember now. I didn't want to mix them with the OCD medication.

Then again, I've been feeling too warm for a while. This isn't my heat.

No, this is nothing. A bug, maybe. Or just the stress itself. It always wreaks havoc on my body. Nothing new there. It's just the drop, the adrenaline ebb affecting me so damn badly as I start to wind down.

Brinlee is finishing her dance, and even from here, I can see her grin flashing. My gaze follows her curves, her legs… My dick aches. My ass clenches. I need to fuck.

The thought makes me snort.

So funny.

Roman leans over the bar toward me. He's saying something but I can't hear him over the beat of the music. I try to read his lips. Damn, his mouth is so sexy…

"What did you put in this drink?" I rattle the ice cubes in the glass. "It hit me hard."

"That's lemonade," he says. "No alcohol. You only had one drink when we arrived earlier, that's all."

"What the hell? I feel drunk."

"Hm… You're flushed. Are you running a fever?"

It's possible.

But I'm distracted from replying by two familiar, delicious scents: Kyrian. And Archer.

Smiling, I swivel on my barstool, leaving my non-alcoholic beverage on the bar. "Hey, guys."

And then I see the other alphas crowding around me and flinch back. A smell hits me, so strong I gag. It stinks, burning my airways.

"Holy shit," Roman says from behind me. "Ky? Arch? What's going on?"

"We're going home," Kyrian growls, reaching for me. "Sawyer…"

"What's wrong with them?" I nod at the alphas surrounding us. "Why the fuck are they staring at me?"

"They smell you, like I do," Archer says, sliding a proprietary arm around me. "The whole bar can smell you."

"What…?"

"When were you going to tell us you were going into heat?"

The next part is lost in a kind of dark haze. Kyrian and Archer get on either side of me, Roman following us, and somehow Brinlee appears in front of me and takes my hand.

"Hey, you," she whispers in my ear, and I shiver pleasantly. It's pleasant having them around me, but it's also torture, because unlike the other, stinking alphas, my pack mates smell good, they smell amazing, and it makes me so hard I can barely walk.

"When were you going to tell us you were going into heat?"

Fuck.

Having taken suppressants religiously since I was given my designation results, I never experienced a heat—until now. It's a strange out-of-body sensation while feeling, very intensely, certain parts of it.

The emptiness that needs filling.

The hard rod of my cock that needs friction.

My scent glands tingling, begging for a bite.

My legs tremble as we make our way through the crowd, every head turning to look. I don't even know who will be manning the bar or the door when we're away. I assume Archer made some calls.

A haze, like I said. Time seems to slip and jump, then stretch impossibly like sour candy spaghetti, before snapping back.

Stepping out of the bar.

Stepping into a car. Archer's car, I realize, when I notice he's the one driving.

Riding up an elevator.

Entering an apartment.

That's when finally my brain opens a small window and my rational mind peeks out. "Uh… This isn't my apartment," I say, digging in my heels. "Where…?"

"Fuck, sorry." Roman gives me a rueful smile. "As you know, our apartment has a big bed, easily arranged into a temporary nest, and we thought you might be more comfortable there. I did ask you, and you said yes… Mumbled something like a yes." He glances at the two alphas who are standing woodenly there. Their scent of arousal is like a mouthful of incense. "If you prefer, we can head out right now and go to your place, Sawyer."

"No, it's… fine."

"You sure?"

"Potato will be worried, but…" I take a breath. Their apartment smells of them, and it eases the ache in my gut, the relentless build-up of desire. "Yeah. I'm sure."

"Bed," Archer grunts. It's kinda funny, because he's normally quite eloquent. Not tonight, not right now. He's even standing with his shoulders a little hunched in, turning into a caveman.

Kyrian is already shrugging off his shirt, baring that magnificent, inked chest and arms, and the heat washes through me, making me catch my breath.

No hesitation, no joking around. The two alphas are focused, aroused as all hell. Going into a rut. Soon speech may be beyond them, rational thought will become difficult. Now is the time for decisions.

And my anxiety spikes. Even hazy, my mind is blaring warning signs. What if I'm forgetting something? What if this is happening too soon with this pack? What if I don't like it? What if they don't like it?

"Easy." Brinlee takes my hand again, and her smaller presence grounds me. "Everything will be okay. You know that, right? Take a few breaths."

I do as she says. The tightness in my chest diminishes after a moment.

"Sawyer…" Roman takes my other hand. "Brinlee and I don't have to join you for this, if you don't want us to. Heats and ruts… that's an alpha-omega thing. We'd understand if you would prefer to spend it only with Arch and Ky. Right, Brin?"

"Right," she whispers. "Whatever you want, Sawyer. Whatever would make you feel more at ease."

"Please," I whisper, squeezing both their hands in mine, my throat dry. "Please, stay? I've never… It's my first heat and… and my experience with sex is limited."

"Don't worry," Roman says. "Your body will know what to do, and our alphas will guide you through it."

"Just… stay?" I pull on his hand. "I want you there. I really want you…"

He smiles, eyes brightening. "I really want you, too, Say."

"And you." Now I tug on Brinlee's hand. "If you don't mind."

"Mind? It's an honor." She smiles, too, and the tilting world around me finally steadies. "I never even imagined I'd be invited to share a pretty omega's heat."

More heat washes over my skin.

"Stop complimenting him." Roman laughs. "He'll burn to a crisp."

I feel like I'm burning too hot already. With the reassurance that my entire pack will be there with me, my mind… slips. Allows itself to be shoved into the passenger seat, while my body slides behind the wheel.

Okay, let's do this, is my last rational thought before we enter the bedroom.

Falling into the huge bed is like falling into a lake. The water closes over me.

Then faces peer down at me. My clothes are yanked off me, seams ripping. The air slides, cool, over my overheated skin, making me shiver. My cock springs free, burning with me, rock-hard and weeping.

I need my mates.

And they're right here, running their hands all over me, muttering—or growling, depending—about how much they want me.

It eases the panic in my chest.

I'm not alone. Not anymore. And not in this moment of urgency. I'm surrounded by people I desire, people I trust and coming to love.

I'm so fucking lucky.

And so fucking gone, lost in painful arousal. The need to be knotted and bitten is trying to overtake my every thought, but even as I think that, I catch a glimpse of the alphas' cocks and knots, and my mouth dries out.

Gah, they're fucking huge. Like, really, there's no way I can take that. I lean back and prop myself up on my elbows as a tremor starts in my body—my body that hasn't forgotten its deep pathways of anxiety. Not even a heat can erase them, it seems.

"What's wrong?" Roman's handsome face fills my vision. "Say, what's the matter?"

"No." I shake my head. "Can't do it. Too big."

"What's too big?"

"Their fucking dicks!" I blurt out, waving a hand toward the alphas kneeling on the enormous bed beside me. "And knots! Don't you see them?"

Brinlee lets out a muffled snicker. I turn to find her kneeling there, still in her makeup from the dance show, eyelids glittering and mouth painted red. She's still in her glittery clothes, too.

Mm… distracting.

"I've heard say," she whispers, sliding a small, cool hand over my cheek, "that omega bodies are made to accommodate alpha cocks and knots, so you should be fine."

"I don't know." I lick my lips. My mouth is dry. "What if my body wasn't made for that?"

"What I've heard is that you may want to start slow," Roman says, lying on his side beside me, partly blocking my view of said huge cocks and knots, and propping his cheek on his hand.

"Slow?"

"Yeah. Let us relax you. My cock, for instance, is pretty big"—he sticks his tongue out to me—"but not that big, you know what I mean?"

"I can help you relax, too." Brinlee smiles, leaning forward, her round tits almost slipping out of her sequined top. "Why not start with us, the small fish?"

Fuck, so damn distracting.

And they were right. Casey told me something of the sort, one night when we were half-drunk and he'd been in a confessional mood.

I glance at the two alphas. They're already buck naked, stroking their cocks, faces set and jaws clenched. "Is that all right?"

I expect a grunt and a curse, or maybe for them to shove our beta and delta aside and do what biology dictates, but to my surprise, they seem to have enough control over themselves. Perhaps even more than me.

"That's a good idea," Archer says in that deep voice of his. "We wouldn't want to hurt you."

"Everything that happens here is your choice," Kyrian adds. "If at any moment you want to stop, Sawyer, just say the word."

A weight I hadn't realized was crushing my chest lifts. My trust in these people, my pack, deepens.

Shooting them a grateful smile, I turn back to Brinlee only to find Roman undressing her. They are undressing one another.

Holy hell.

If this is meant to relax me, my dick didn't get the memo…